Its just not fair! (rant alert!)

[ericacaca]

I look around this site, and I look around everywhere I go and there are ladies with babies and young children. And I can't help but think that to some people it is just so easy for them! Its the way the world goes round isn't it? I mean ladies have babies... without that whole process the world would have no people in it? SO WHY IS IT NOT SO EASY FOR ME? Why is it that most mothers in this world will never have to go through what we have done?

And I have friends who have miscarried 4 or 5 times! And I really feel for them. It happens, no matter what all the statistics say about chances of miscarrying again is small... there are still a number of ladies that have to go through all this heartache again and again and again and I really don't want to be in that number! But unfortunatly we have no choice in the matter!

Sorry for the rant!

I'm sure there are loads of ladies reading this and feel the same way, its just kinda comforting (in a really sad way) to hear that I'm not the only one.

Thanks for reading
Erica xxx

 

[aviolet]

 

[mizzk]

xx

 

[greeneyes0279]

You are definitely not alone.

 

[Andypanda6570]

I am very sorry, I lost my little Ava 4 weeks ago at 18 weeks, I have 3 boys 20,17 and 11 and I am 40 . We were not even trying for a bay and then I got pregnant and with a girl! Now I lost her and I am completely empty. Don't ever give up it will happen, you will be blessed , you will see.
All The Best

 

[Peril]

I know how hard it is. I lost 3 before having my little girl 3 weeks ago. I hated seeing people with babies, I perceived them to look smug, but I tried to remember that I don't know what they have been thru to get their LO. It is heartbreaking that it comes so easy to some and is so difficult for others. But it is so worth keeping trying xxx

 

[louley]

Erica,
I know how you feel, ive been a bitter n twisted bint ever since my first loss in june 2008 (not saying thats what you are!!) and it gets better then worse then better.....
swings n roundabouts, im motion sick of it all.
I honestly nearly lost it the other day when i saw a pregnant girl drinking super tenants from the can scavving for a fag without a drop of guilt......but how do i really know how she feels eh!? still not right tho is it, she should be looking after herself and the baby.
I remember after my first miscarriage i had to go for an appt a week later just to check everything was 'going to plan' and on my way home i was on my own on the bus with tears rolling down my cheeks listening to a right mess F-ing n Jeff-ing on the phone about how she didnt want the fecking thing anyway n how shitty it was gonna be......i wanted to die.
Here i am almost 2 years and another 2 miscarriages later still feeling the same, life just sucks sometimes.


Peril!! well done and congratulations, not every new mum makes my blood boil and it certainly didnt when i just read your post, i still remember some kind words you had for me last year, i am truely pleased for you xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[LeeC]

Hi Erica

Rant away, we all have these days, I've been through a really dark patch recently and have been very down and bitter, probably felt all the things you have.

It is understandable, to have 1 m/c is awful and too many, it is something that will always stay with you and is truly devastating.

I have had 5 m/c, 1 ectopic and am still trying, I'm currently in 2ww grrrr!!!!
Please don't give up, try and stay strong, hopefully we will all get our sticky babies soon, and all this hearache will be worthwhile.

I'm often on this thread ranting with the best of them, sending you hugs honey xxx

 

[Rebecca08]

I feel the same way. Shows like Teen Mom and 16 & Pregnant are so unfair; they get pregnant without even trying and they're not ready to be parents. Here I am in my late 20s, in a great relationship and ready (in all ways) to be a mom but it's not easy for me to stay pregnant. My doc keeps telling me the good thing is that we got pregnant, but apparently getting pregnant isn't my problem, it's staying pregnant.

Like you said, Erica, you are not alone and neither am I. Rant away and I shall join you...

 

[MandiiG]

I know how you feel, sometimes I get go upset when I see moms with babies & young children. I always wonder what they do in their life to deserve that & what I don't do. Sometimes I get so frustrated.

 

[ClaireH]

I feel like this all the time - life isn't fair!! My husband has had to restrain me on a number of occasions. And the worse place is outside the maternity wing of the hospital, when I'm on my way in for a MC or tests or whatever and have to literally climb over smoking bumps!! Aargh!!

But remember, those drinking, smoking mums aren't better than us, they are just luckier. And sadly, there are so many people out there who don't even realise that there are people like us, struggling and suffering. But we'll get there, one day! xxxx

 

[maggsy11]

xmagsx

 

[ZoMo]

I am going through my first official (but very much suspected second) miscarriage now. I wont even leave the house as I am so scared of seeing pregnant women (who seem to be everywhere) and getting upset. I am back at work on Friday where there are 4 pregnant women including one of my best friends who is 7 months pregnant and I cant even look at her.

I am laid up on the sofa waiting for this to be over and I cant even escape it on the tv: I put on Cold Feet - the episode came on where she had twins, I switched to Vicar of Dibley - the episode where the baby is christened, turned to Without a Trace and within the first minute a heavily pregnant character came on, turned to an old recorded Celebrity Juice where Holly Willoughby was talking about her impending baby and then in desperation put on a Disney film which opened with a newborn baby. Aaaarggh. Reading a book now as the only way to avoid it all.

 

[nickyjl]

Yep, I feel all these things too.

I went out to see my old workmates in the cafe I used to manage this morning and one of the girls there who's quite a close friend is 10 weeks pregnant by her total loser of a boyfriend. My fiance's brother's wife is also pregnant by accident and didn't want kids.

I went out yesterday for a walk round the shops and there were pregnant teenagers everywhere.

Its so hard but we must all bear in mind that we will be fantastic mums because our losses will make us appreciate things more.

 

[Bundleplease]

I know I am only 18 myself but I get so angry that where I live the majority of girls just get pregnant for the council house. And it makes me so angry I consantly think these girls can't look after there baby like I could, or provide for it like I could or even love and appriciate it like I could. And your right their not better than us but why? why? why? why? It makes me hate the way this world is. Misbehaving mums on BBC3 gets me fuming. How can they make a programme that has no real educational values about expecting mums who smoke and drink more in one day than I could in a week?! Sorry for the rant but I just would love to understand. I am starting to lose faith in karma.

 

[pooch]

and i'm reading this while watching 16 and pregnant, after reading the teen pregnancy section of this website, a little ticked off. grrrr!!! it's very frustrating.