Ive started lying :(

Discussion in 'Trying To Conceive' started by TattooedMamma, Jun 3, 2011.

  1. TattooedMamma

    TattooedMamma Well-Known Member

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    No one knows we're ttc at the moment and as we already have a child, people have started saying things like "oh whens the next one coming?" or "are ya's not going to have a little brother or sister for fb?" etc

    And Ive found myself saying things like.. "we're happy with just the one.." or "we'll probably not have anymore" etc

    Im heart broken.. I don't know why I keep saying things like this :(

    Anyone else do this? I know it sounds mental :shrug:
     
  2. mammag

    mammag Expecting a Rainbow

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    It doesn't sound mental! Lol, we TTC'ers say what we have to to protect ourselves, it's not anyone Else's business whether or not we're going to have another child, hell, half of the girls on here barely involve their husbands in any more than the idea that they want a child! Like I said, trying is a difficult process and the last thing we need is a million people with 'good intentions' asking us if we are pregnant yet.
     
  3. wantanerd

    wantanerd Well-Known Member

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    I lie to my inlaws about us TTC. I have issues with them and I don't want any pressure on DH or I. We have enough of that already with the many trips to the FS and the ups and downs. Every time I see his parents, both of us say we are not ready, we can wait, etc, etc. I don't want emails or fb messages asking how its going. I get enough of that from his sisters.
     
  4. jamhs

    jamhs Well-Known Member

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    People are nosey and it really isn't their business to ask. Because we were married for so long before we even started ttc and not even knowing if we could people would ask us or give us advice. My dh would start saying things like " I keep hugging her and nothing is happening yet" or "actually, I was in an accident and we can't have kids(or any more) so thanks for bringing it up" it really made the other person realise how none of their business their question was, and almost always they apologized. You could always just say maybe one day, no lies involved in that. Good luck!
     
  5. TattooedMamma

    TattooedMamma Well-Known Member

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    I think i might start saying maybe one day...

    The guilt is really getting to me, its like im saying i don't want anymore and it'll maybe jinx things for us or something

    I agree with ya all.. I think it's rude for people to ask.. its like asking did you have sex
     
  6. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    we have been married for nearly 2 years and everyone around us are having babies so it's a question that we get all the time. I have just started to say that 'it's on the to do list'! we are renovating a house at the moment and that will be ongoing for quite some time yet. I have often used the house as a reason why 'oh we need to get the house finished first etc', when actually we have been ttc for 18 months!!

    xx
     
  7. aln030482

    aln030482 Member

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    That's exactly what I say all the time... lol
     
  8. TattooedMamma

    TattooedMamma Well-Known Member

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    We went to Disneyland last month.. and someone was looking at our photos, then they said "oh the holiday would have been so much better for fb if she had a brother or sister for company"
    I just said "I know".. I wish I had a better come back but in all honesty she took me by surprise and at the end of the day she was probably right :(

    I really don't want my little girl to never have anyone to share memories or experiences with.. such as christmas, holidays, birthdays etc.. It make me so sad.

    And to think I was on the pill since her birth.. It really angers me too.
     
  9. overcomer79

    overcomer79 LT-TTC success 3.5yrs

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    It's a lot of pressure TTC. We say that now...no one knows we are trying this month as we have had people to actually tell us that it wouldn't be good for us to have another child.
     
  10. AllMacsNow

    AllMacsNow Surprise! Preggo!

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    We have told people we'd like to try after the wedding (July), but started TTC this month, and now I wish we hadn't said anything to anyone. I'm worried (hopefully for no reason), but already don't think I could handle the questions with any grace at all.

    OH's mom started in on him a year ago... telling him she didn't care about "that silly piece of paper" (marriage license), just wanted the 'pitter patter'... He told her the wedding was important to me first, so the questions have let up, for now... but I'm sure it'll be coming back up REAL SOON after the wedding, and I may make him field all the questions, because I'm already extremely touchy about it, and we're only 2 weeks into TTC.
     
  11. babydream

    babydream ttc#2

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    Hmm, i know the feeling too. We've been together for 8 and a half years, married for 5ys and people keep asking us all the time when we having a baby. I always say 'one day'. Few people know we're ttc but now the detailed FS appointment and possible IVF treatment. Good luck xx
     
  12. AverysMommy

    AverysMommy Knocked up!!!!

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    I do the same thing and have now started worrying that I will jinx us too!! I hate that ppl think they even have to ask in the 1st place!!!! I think I'm going to start saying 'when the time is right' or something else, b/c I don't want to jinx it.
     
  13. emsie_123

    emsie_123 Well-Known Member

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    I lie as well to my partner's mum. Everytime she see me she thinks im getting chubby and it MUST be her grandchild on the way (bah, thanks for that) and I just say that work is too busy and we will wait until it's calmer (I work in a school so dont hold your breath) :)

    1 child is well enough for some so tell them to stop being so nosy and that you will let them know if your thoughts changes :)
     
  14. pinkflamingo

    pinkflamingo Mummy to an angel x

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    I went on a hen weekend recently and spoke to the bride about whether they would be thinking about kids after the wedding. She replied and said 'well you never know if there will be any problems do you, but yes we would like children at some point so we will see'.

    It's pretty easy to fall into the trap of asking questions like that, and here I am as someone who has been ttc for 18 months asking the questions that I try and avoid!! what a muppet I am!!!
     
  15. snowangel187

    snowangel187 In need of Boy Baby Dust.

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    I get this question all the time!!! Everybody knows I've always wanted lots of kids and at 27 I only have 1 and she's 3.. So that I'm not lying when people ask are you gonna have more? when are you gonna have more? do you want more? etc.. My answer is maybe some day! Your not lying it's truth,,, maybe some day you will have a baby. :) We haven't told any of our family members that we're actively TTC now. We have always NTNP. Good Luck to us all!!
     
  16. briggle

    briggle Well-Known Member

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    I swear if another person says 'you're next' I'll scream. The people with families throw these comments around like they're so smug and fertile! Sorry rant
     
  17. LoveCakes

    LoveCakes Well-Known Member

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    I get this too, especially since we got married. Everyone knows we want them but we won't be telling anyone even parents when we ttc.

    I just say 'we're in no hurry' as that doesn't commit either way. It is odd trying to get round outright lies though.
     
  18. jennawatt13

    jennawatt13 Well-Known Member

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    i always just say, we'll have one when we're ready
     
  19. katkat30

    katkat30 teeny tiny bit pregnant

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    OMG!! I do this all the time. I got married in November last year and I swear that whenever I see someone I havn't seen for a few days, the first question is pregnant yet? We've not told anyone we are even ttc but people just assume. It can be so heartbreaking to have to keep saying no, like mammag said i think I lie to protect myself! I think I'll stop answering completely and pretend they've not asked lol x
     
  20. snowangel187

    snowangel187 In need of Boy Baby Dust.

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    Ha .. I use to get harassed at the redemption center.. Granted it was a small town and they knew DH while he was growing up.. So when I finally got my BFP with my DD I brought in my pregnancy test to show them, haha.. I figured y not show the stick they wanted to know so bad. haha.
     

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