IVF/FET May and June

[BronteForever]

Timetotry - ugggghhhh. I hate thinking about those questions but it's a very real possibility. I think you can prepare yourself but you won't know what you'll do until the time comes. I never thought I'd do IVF but here I am. I'm open to anything but sadly lots comes down to money. I think we are prepared to do 2 fresh cycles and however many FETs that we have a chance to do and if they are changing enough things up to help. Then we'd move onto adoption. But who knows. Seems like this process makes you change your plans frequently.

 

[rebecca822]

A what if question for you ladies....
Would you consider using a donor egg (if eggs were you problem)?
How many ivf attempts would you try with your own before moving on?

I'm just pondering the future and things we may need to consider.

That's a really tough decision! I know when people use donor sperm they mix with their DH's so that there's still a "chance" that its his.
I honestly don't know what I would choose in that situation.
I hope you'll be successful and you won't need to make that choice.

 

[beneathmywing]

A what if question for you ladies....
Would you consider using a donor egg (if eggs were you problem)?
How many ivf attempts would you try with your own before moving on?

I'm just pondering the future and things we may need to consider.

This is the question that scares me the most.. This is my third IVF and I feel like if I don't get a baby out of this cycle I really need to consider my options. I think my thing is no doctor has ever said I can't conceive with my own eggs (I have plenty other issues), but if someone did tell me this, then I would probably look more into it. Maybe not donor eggs, but a surrogate? Again, my biggest fear, though!



-- AFM: Had scan/bw today and all good to start Lupron. My baseline is next Friday!

 

[Myshelsong]

Hubs and I have talked about the donor egg route and I think if my eggs turn out to be the issue, I don't know if I would use someone else's. We are already so far into the adoption process, (just waiting for our first round of IVF before we register anywhere) that if it came down to him having crap sperm and me having crap eggs, we will just move forward another way.
It might sound weird but getting pregnant is not my end goal, although we are doing everything we can to get there and having a biological child is important, having a family for us is more important. If we can't conceive together, we will adopt. However ... If my eggs turn out to be crap and a friend or family member offered I might completely change my mind. It wouldn't be the first time during this journey.

 

[rebecca822]

Hubs and I have talked about the donor egg route and I think if my eggs turn out to be the issue, I don't know if I would use someone else's. We are already so far into the adoption process, (just waiting for our first round of IVF before we register anywhere) that if it came down to him having crap sperm and me having crap eggs, we will just move forward another way.
It might sound weird but getting pregnant is not my end goal, although we are doing everything we can to get there and having a biological child is important, having a family for us is more important. If we can't conceive together, we will adopt. However ... If my eggs turn out to be crap and a friend or family member offered I might completely change my mind. It wouldn't be the first time during this journey.

You do bring a good point. I think that women have a natural yearning to be pregnant and carry a child, but if you can look past that and just get to the end goal it's great. Personally, I would have no problem adopting, I would really want a newborn though. My DH feels like he would have a hard time loving the child as his own, but I think he would see that it happens naturally.

 

[froggyfrog]

That would be a really tough decision. Personally, we talked about if it came down to using donor sperm or donor egg we wouldn't do it. We would either adopt an embryo, or adopt a baby. We both kind of felt like we wanted the baby the be biologically both of ours, or neither one. We did do a little bit of research and went to a seminar on adoption before we decided on ivf. So I suppose if we run through all of our chances, we would move on. But I understand that's not an option for some people. For some it can be hard and scary to try to raise a child that doesn't have the same dna. But I have a friend who her and her husband decided to use donor sperm, and they have a beautiful little girl and don't care her dna make up. So it's such a personal decision and it's all about comfort. Not every decision with assisted conception is the right decision for everyone. I definitely wouldn't jump in to something if you aren't comfortable it took us a while to decide that we would do ivf, because I wasn't sure, but when I was ready I jumped in head first. You will make the right choice for your family time to try

 

[BronteForever]

It is such a personal decision and there's so many variables.

To piggy back on this question, how do you ladies respond to your friends or family members that ask you, "Why don't you just adopt?" I know in some ways they are trying to be helpful and not that many people know we are doing IVF, so I'm kind of surprised I've even gotten those questions yet. However, I'm prepared to answer more of them.

It's not something I can put into words very well and it was not an overnight decision for us. We have been TTC on and off since 2009, so it's been a pretty in-depth thought process. I'm fine not having a child of my own DNA, but since I've suffered a loss and have some anger over that procedure that led to some of my current infertility issues, I have a hard time not even trying IVF and moving straight to adoption. But someone who has never experienced infertility has never had to think about these things, nor do they know alot about either option. I want to kindly explain stuff to them, but I don't even know where to begin. It's tough and I hate that on top of everything we have to go through we have to feel like we are being judged by others on top of that.

 

[Fern81]

Such a hard decision.
For us personally; we won't use donor eggs or sperm; also won't adopt (have talked about all of that and due to many issues those routes are not for us).
We will probably just do 1 IVF unless we win the lottery, it's way too expensive. And maybe 1 FET if we have any embryos to freeze.
Atm we just want to stop ttc and carry on with our lives so we are giving it until the end of the year.
But like some of you have pointed out; these plans can (and have) changed.

 

[Fern81]

I honestly don't even want to do IVF as I just don't see it working in my situation. But DH and I decided that we might do it once just so that we don't regret NOT trying it one day when we are 60yrs old and childless. Then a financial donation for a part of the IVF costs came our way and it sealed the deal. I just want it to be over though.

 

[BronteForever]

Fern - this process is so hard and I've also thought about stopping many times. In fact, we have quit trying several months and years. It's just so draining. So sorry you have reached a breaking point but it sounds like you are in a good place with it and ready to move on for now if IVF doesn't work.

Is endo your only problem causing infertility that you know of? I've heard many success stories of IVF with people with endo; however, none of us that are new to this know how we will respond until we start. Good luck!

 

[rebecca822]

Fern- I really hope this cycle will work for you. if not, and let's hope that's not the case, maybe taking 1-2 years off TTC will give you new strength to try again.
Its so exhausting there are so many times when I feel like I'm done, but then I remember the end goal and it helps me get through another day.
Sending you loads of baby dust!!

 

[Unlucky41]

Gals this is such a hard topic. Before our fifth cycle my doctor said if this doesn't work we had nochoice but to use donor eggs. I cried so many nights! I stated to rresearch it but when I talked about it with my husband it was a firm no! I kept picturing us being old and childless so depressing!

We are so lucky our fifth cycle worked. Longing for number two is bad but I know I am lucky to have my daughter.

Fern that is a long time. You are so strong for trying all this time. I really hope it works for us all!

The injections, doctor appointments, disappointment, feeling sad when others announced that they got pregnant first go. What to be done with all of this and move on!

 

[Fern81]

Naw this year I turn 35 and don't want to actively ttc anymore. Ttc and failing has really lowered the quality of my life and happiness. Other than the inability to have kids, our lives are pretty good so we want to start focusing on all the other things life has to offer and accept our childless status instead of it ruining us. I want to continue my studies & travel more, etc.

 

[rebecca822]

Fern- I really admire your strength. It's great that you can focuse on the positive in life. But we will still hope for you that this will work!!

Unlucky- how old is your DD? I still long for another child but I'm happy I get to be a mom of an almost 4 year old. It brings me so much joy during this difficult time.

 

[Fern81]

Thanks hun I really appreciate it.
Hoping for the best for all of you too! X

 

[Fern81]

Are any of you ladies who are doing pre-transfer genetic testing, testing for the embryo's gender too?
Just wondering how it works; I remember reading a post where a lady wrote how she had one female embie and one male transferred, now I'm interested.

 

[Myshelsong]

We had out meeting and our protocol starts May cycle!! So around April 29 we will be starting with Gonal F and a bunch of other things and probably retrieval around May 10! I am kind of freaking out, but am feeling happy that we are finally moving onto this new road. Hopefully we will be lucky enough to have great eggs and be able to get pregnant for the first time!

Fern we are the same age, I feel you on the trying not to let this ruin your life. We have tried hard not to put our life on hold for this, but it is hard not to get consumed by it all. Wish you all the luck in the world.

 

[rachy28]

Myshelsong....i start stims on the 29th too

Fern, im doing genetic testing on my embryos to test for a specific genetic condition. Here in the uk, testing specifically for sexing is illegal unless its for an x-linked condition. The embryologist will know the sex but they're not allowed to tell me. All i will know is if the embryos are healthy or not xx

 

[Fern81]

Are you doing short protocol myshel? We're also starting around 1/2 May

 

[Myshelsong]

I know the drugs we are going to take, but not the amounts yet. I will be on Gonal f from day 2, orgalutron around day 5 and Luveris. Pretty intense, but I am ready!

Our retrieval will be probably day 12-14 depending on me and how the follicles develope. Is that considered short protocol?
Fingers crossed for all of us, it is getting close!