January 2018 babies - 43 BFPs!

[Sarahcake]

I know how you feel. I felt the same way with my son up until 20 weeks as until we knew a gender, I just couldn't bond with them. The unknown of what they were stopped that from happening. When I found out he was a boy, I found it much easier because he wasn't just baby, he was Logan, my little boy. Some people manage team yellow amazingly and honestly I'm jealous because I'd love the surprise, but I need to know gender in order to assign name and make it all more real for me.

I know that probably sounds absolutely batshit insane lol

Hang in there sweet X

 

[London Kiwi]

You've made me excited to find out the gender now! 😊
One week today X

 

[koj518]

I'm so happy to hear that you are all experiencing similar feelings. I'm currently 14+5 and sometimes still forget that I have a baby inside me. This is my first pregnancy and I'm not sure if this disconnect comes from me not wanting to get my hopes up too high (I struggled from infertility for 5+ years) or maybe it just takes a while for it to sink in. I honestly felt more connected to the baby when I was 4 or 5 weeks..

But like some have mentioned, maybe finding out the gender or feeling kicks for the first time will be the first bonding experience for us.

(PS midwife appt in 1 hour. hoping all's well with the baby..!!!)

 

[Sarahcake]

I really did feel more connected once I knew the sex. Was like things just clicked after that. I'm confident this time round will be the same too.

Good luck at the midwife Koj, hope all is well

I've had a shite day today. My new boss wasn't aware that I had a new job lined up in the NHS. She asked me today weather I would be coming back after my maternity leave so I broke the news to her then that I'm actually off soon as my DBS is sorted.

She's gone mental telling me I'm making a "huge f**king mistake" and that I better get on and tell them I'm pregnant (I wanted to wait til my 12 week scan plus I was offered the job and signed all the paperwork before I found out I was) plus telling me I won't get any maternity pay and it'll just be maternity allowance at £124 a week.

Thing is, my current workplace only pay full pay for 6 weeks and then go to statutory maternity pay at £124 a week anyway.

It's better for my career prospects after I've had baby to be at the NHS not to mention a boatload more money but I'm so scared about leaving in my current state... She's really frightened me that leaving one job for another is wreckless and ridiculous and I'll be treated poorly. It's scared me even more about telling my new employer too

Anyone have any experience of changing jobs in pregnancy?

 

[Missbb2591]

I originally planned to stay team yellow but I've had a rough time connecting with this pregnancy as it wasn't planned and I feel like I will bond better once I know the baby's name and it's not just it anymore.

 

[JessyG]

I am just too impatient plus i want to sort abd organise what we have. I musy admit i have forgotten i am pregnant quite a few times recently since i have started feeling less grotty.

New symptom today though is really breathless. Cant seem to fill my lungs enough. It is worrying me but i definitely remember it with my DD from the begining so guess its just something i suffer from. Anyone else had a racing heart, pulsating tummy or breathlessness? Am i weird?

 

[Missbb2591]

I am just too impatient plus i want to sort abd organise what we have. I musy admit i have forgotten i am pregnant quite a few times recently since i have started feeling less grotty.

New symptom today though is really breathless. Cant seem to fill my lungs enough. It is worrying me but i definitely remember it with my DD from the begining so guess its just something i suffer from. Anyone else had a racing heart, pulsating tummy or breathlessness? Am i weird?

I get a racing heart occasionally at random times and it makes me feel quite panicky but it only last 5 minutes or so then goes back to normal. I'm definitely more breathless than usual when I go up stairs etc.

 

[London Kiwi]

Sarah I might've mentioned this right when we joined the group but not 100% sure...

I've recently changed jobs (I left the NHS and now working in a private healthcare org) I signed the contract before I was pregnant and must've got pregnant literally the day I started.

I am now 15+2 and don't plan to tell my new boss until I'm 18-20 if I can help it! I've been really worried about it but then in a meeting the other day one of the commercial ops team mentioned one of their new starter nurses was pregnant - no one battered an eyelid! So it's made me feel a lot better.

Your current boss is totally bullying you!
She wants you to stay for selfish reasons (as well as you prob being very good at your job I'm sure ) but it doesn't look good for managers when staff leave, there is a huge cut back on bank and agency staff and maybe there is a a total freeze on recruitment meaning she will need to make do with the team she has.

I would just keep reminding yourself why you looked for a new job in the first place. Chances are its most probably still the reason you need to move on! Everything will work out just fine!!

we can tell our employees together ha! X

 

[Sarahcake]

Thank you lovely, I do remember you saying about that actually all those pages ago!

Without blowing my own trumpet, I'm a senior HCA and I'm good at my job. I'm the most qualified person there at my level, one of the few meds trained, peg trained ect. I'm pretty sure she is just throwing things out there to make me stay but I have massive fears over the unknown and wondering how they are going to react is consuming me tbh. It doesn't look good for her as she's our 5th manager in as many months, staff are leaving left right and center and tbh our latest CQC report is an absolute train wreck.

I got offered the job in Feb - long before I was pregnant and I'm only now coming to the end of the recruitment process. I'm going to a band 3 position with internal training to band 4. I can't turn that kind of opportunity nor money down. If I stay and do 40 hours per week at my current place, I don't make 50% of what 37.5 hours will bring in at my new place.

That's really good if they've not batted an eyelid, takes a lot of the stress off you I should imagine. Apparently my friend just had her induction with a lady at the same hospital in going too that is currently 17 weeks pregnant and they've been amazing with her so I'm hoping my ward sister will be the same!

So much stress though isn't it! I really hope it all works out ok at your place, which I'm sure it will thanks lovely, I needed to read that kind of positivity after my day and to vent a bit of mine out. Appreciate it x

 

[London Kiwi]

Ah lovely!! I always look at the HCAs in our organisation and think they have such a fabulous job. What a great opportunity for you, don't turn that down! She's just trying any scare tactic to keep you!

I'm on the service development side of the Organisation but visit some of the London Trusts to make sure our hospital at home service runs smoothly for them. The CQC ratings for all the London sites I visit is "requires improvement" so it just shows the NHS is in dire straits!

I'm sure they will absolutely understand your situation - you're not the first and won't be the last! And if not, look at the HCA roles with Healthcare at Home - really love working for them.

Unfortunately due to my awful timing of getting pregnant right when I started I won't get a maternity package from HAH so will just get the govt allowance but currently I get a car allowance and I read our policy and they will still give me that when on Mat leave... It's not a lot but Every little bit helps!

Hope that DBS comes through for you soon lovely!! X

 

[swampmaiden]

Sarah, just wanna agree with kiwi about her take on the situation. No experience in switching jobs while pregnant, nor the health care field but during my career I've learned a lot about both managerial and support roles, and if your manager is already the 5th one in so many months, then you were right to read the writing on the wall back in February and make moves for Your future and Your family! Dont be afraid, just keep moving forward! Your little baby is what makes it all worth it. ☺

As babies and pregnancies go, I'm feeling pretty connected with this one, my second... my DD was a bit harder to wrap around so I know how you girls feel .... everyone was so thrilled for her while I kept pretty cautious and reserved nearly the entire time. I even worried about having a baby shower, as if that would jinx the pregnancy! I waited until 32 weeks to have it, I was so paranoid.

But this pregnancy i somehow feel was meant to be despite the terrible timing of it, so every hour im aware I'm pregnant and what's REALLY been getting me down are other people's reactions to it! My in laws were just polite about it but not gushing, with maybe even a tint of disapproval as if we're being irresponsible by having another ( the kids will be 3 years apart, and Im 35 been married to their son 5 years already so please i think we can make our own decisions) plus besides them, some of my own family, not all of them thankfully, act as if being pregnant doesn't change me at all and expect me to still be doing everything for them. Grrr!

I want to be lying on couch with ice water & my phone, not busting my ass taking care of other grown adults... so yeah I guess what I'm getting is Im feeling really good and connected to this pregnancy unlike my first, but people are treating me completely different than they did for my first... I wish I had that treatment now again lol

 

[London Kiwi]

Swampmaiden get on that couch with your Ice water and phone!! Chill out and relax
Sounds like you're having a right time of it.
Certainly not your responsibility looking after grown adults!
Get on that couch!!

 

[London Kiwi]

On another note... I decided to give my Doppler a go tonight.
I bought it when I was about 8weeks and knew I wouldn't be able to hear the heartbeat, says on the box from 14 weeks (but you always try anyway )

Tonight I thought well I'm just over 15 weeks so maybe. And there it was! Was so nice to hear it after so long of only being able to hear my own heartbeat, very distinctive from my own, was great to finally hear it!

It actually made me feel a bit excited which is good because I've been lacking that feeling.

And strangely as soon as I heard it i instantly thought that's a boy -
So we shall see! Husband is still convinced it's a girl... No changing his mind!

 

[swampmaiden]

LOL kiwi! Totally parked on the couch! After I made dinner, my sister was over and she actually helped my husband with dishes and she vacuumed so I'm feeling a bit better, but I admit I did have to bust out a bit of lecturing to get them to understand!

Hearing the baby heartbeat is always so awesome, I get to hear mine next on Monday for my "12 week" appointment when I'll be more like 13.5 weeks

Im already feeling a definite hard lump in my lower belly, especially when i bend over its like I'm bending around something solid in there. I can't wait for kicks, just afew more weeks away from that!

So do you think its a boy because the heartbeats are a certain rate? I think our gut feelings about gender are usually spot on, Ill wager with you about a boy! I have a feeling I'm having another girl but we'll see

 

[London Kiwi]

Lovely that they helped you out around the house... My husband was surprisingly helpful last night - he can be a little lazy at times!!

I don't know what it was, the minute I heard it I instantly thought "Boy" but I've always thought I'd have a girl and my husband won't change his mind, he's set on girl. We had my neice staying from New Zealand a couple of weeks ago and she was an absolute terror and he thinks we are getting one of those haha.

Scan is in 6 days so we will know for sure then!

You're thinking another girl? Will you get a gender scan to find out or wait for a surprise?

 

[London Kiwi]

Just to add to your comment about the heart rate.... My acupuncturist did the pulse test on me twice and both times said he thinks it's a girl.
He did say he's been wrong before, including both times he had kids haha. But generally he's about 80% correct seemingly!

 

[Marriedlaydee]

I lau down at night and keep giving myself a gentle prod to see of I can feel a lump...always disappointed that I don't! Next time I'm not in a room with someone I'll have a go while standing up haha. Not sure if gravity makes a difference!

 

[Sarahcake]

Thanks ladies, I'm in a more positive mood today. Spoken to a colleague/friend who has also just handed in her notice at work and our boss has flat out refused to provide a reference so she's pretty much just throwing her toys out of the pram at this point I think. Luckily my friends new place is actually aware of our manager and how she can be so she's accepted my friend without a management reference and just colleague references.

I'm not giving up this opportunity and I feel much clearer about that today, thanks so much for your input

Scan tommorrow, eek! Getting nervous now, I know all is ok though...I just... Know it is oddly enough.

Oooo ive never seen the gender/heartbeat correlation before. I think the old wives tales and things are fun, but I'm not sure how much I would trust their predictions haha

 

[London Kiwi]

Apparently if your left wrist has a faster pulse = boy
Right wrist = girl
So he tells me!

Oh yay! You're scan is tomorrow. Good luck hun!

 

[swampmaiden]

I'm only thinking another girl because this pregnancy is so similar to my last one except the symptoms just a bit intenser... I haven't had a heartrate measured yet but I heard if its over 150 bpm its a boy and under then a girl, or vice versa lol

Im definitely finding out gender, mainly I know what clothes to keep or not from my daughter. We are moving in a few months and i plan to get rid of a LOT of stuff!

Sarah, good luck on scan tomorrow!

Marriedlaydee, try laying down on your stomach if you can, I can feel the hard lump that way much easier than standing or bending over