January & February Beans 2021

Discussion in 'Pregnancy Groups & Discussions' started by Sander, May 26, 2020.

  1. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    Hey guys! Colton is doing great. He is probably the best baby I've had as far as sleeping goes. He sleeps through the night and only wakes up to eat then goes right back to bed. Its been such a blessing not having to be extremely sleep deprived. Hes a super calm baby and is such a little cuddle bug... I cant believe he's already 3 weeks old, it feels like the more kids you have the faster the newborn stage goes by.

     
  2. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney 41 and Pregnant :)

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    He is adorable hon congratulations
     
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  3. rollachick

    rollachick Well-Known Member

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    Oh wow Lisa that's amazing he sleeps so we'll, your very lucky my other 2 were great sleepers so I'm expecting kacey to be bad but so far shes only really getting up 2 maybe 3 times a night so that's alryt for a 2-3week old, so maybe I'll get lucky a 3rd time haha
     
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  4. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    Im glad my other two weren't good sleepers or I'm sure I'd have more kids lol. This has got me in such a good postpartum mood I'm over here like, *hey babe this isn't too bad maybe he shouldn't be our last* even though my very logical brain knows were done and I'm okay with that. We went to a park the other day as a family and I finally felt that cheesey feeling of my family is complete. I always thought people who said that were crazy. I couldn't imagine that feeling but my heart is so full and I am just so happy to have my three boys.

    Its the end of February, hard to believe everyone in this threads due dates have officially passed. Colton should technically be a month old tomorrow if you go by the day of the month but since there's no 29th of February this year we're just saying he's a month old today!

    I hope everyone else is doing well
     
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  5. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Lisa I get that feeling too lol. Like with my other boys I knew I wanted another, this is the first time that I feel like - maybe not :haha: Who knows though, maybe I’ll change my mind over the next year or so. If we had a 4th it would for sure be our last, I couldn’t have anymore physically.

    We are doing good over here, Thomas is 2.5 months old already! He sleeps well and is settling into more of a daily routine. He’s a happy guy and has found his smile. He’s a super easy baby!

     
  6. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    How’s everyone doing? :) We are settling into a routine over here. Hoping to sleep train Thomas soon and move him into his own space. In the meantime, I’m enjoying the baby snuggles :)

     
  7. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney 41 and Pregnant :)

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    He is so cute hon
     
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  8. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    Hey sander! Were doing good over here. Colton is 7 weeks old. I still can't believe how fast it feels like its going. He smiled at me for the first time yesterday, by that I mean like a social smile and not just like a sleeping one. It was wonderful I was telling him how cute he is and he was smiling and did a little chort. I forget how wonderful baby noises are. Especially their sleeping noises. The little baby grunts and cuddles are so wonderful.

     
  9. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney 41 and Pregnant :)

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    Oh Lisa he is absolutely adorable hon with his little wubanub I just melted <3
     
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  10. Quantea

    Quantea New Mom

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    Hey guys, it's nice to see everyone so happy with their little bubs!!! It feels like just yesterday when we were just popping in this group and look at everyone now!

    So, if anyone is still around, I thought I'd come out of hiding (I've been reading everyone's posts, just a bit on the shy side for posting) for some advice or support. *deep breath* Sorry for the long post. This is more of a story than a regular post, but I needed some place to get this all off my chest...

    I always had issues with breastfeeding. With DS1 we did combi-feeding until 6 months when my supply dried up overnight. Even then it was mostly formula since we'd weighed him before and after breastfeeding sessions and knew he never got more than 20-30cc (less than 1 oz) when he proceeded to get more than 200cc (7 oz) of formula in the same feeding session. But we still managed to (sort of) reach 6 months, so I never felt bad overall. It happened on its own and I had tried my best.

    This time I was determined to do better. Indeed, my little bug seemed to have a great latch from the beginning. We used to joke that if you held him on your shoulder he would latch onto your ear. All I needed to do was point him to the breast and he would latch on and start sucking immediately. I was thrilled! DS1 never did this! Maybe this would work!

    But then the problems started (again). Little bug would stay on the breast for upwards of 12 hours and cry within 5 minutes of taking him off it, which meant none of us were getting any sleep. My nipples cracked and started bleeding by the second day. And my baby lost more weight than was normal. I'd been through this before and knew what was up. Supply issues.

    No problem, I thought, we can still do this. We started supplement feeding (also after the pediatrician's advice) but always after more than an hour of breastfeeding each time, to increase supply. Baby started putting on weight again. It was time to go home.

    But the problems didn't stop there. My little bug started falling asleep within 5 minutes on the breast. I tried every single trick to wake him up. I would undress him, stop and change his diaper, run a cold and wet towel over his face, massage his ears, everything. But nothing could wake him up. He would just lie there completely limp with breastmilk running down the side of his mouth. This was a new experience for me since DS1 could breastfeed even asleep. But if you tried to get him off the breast and down for sleep, he would wake up hungry and crying, until he proceeded to fall asleep within minutes on the breast again. Rinse and repeat, until I caved in and gave my exhausted baby some formula to let him get some rest.

    This meant two things. One, our feedings lasted close to two hours and within one hour it was time for a new feeding session. If you count in time for baby to fall asleep, I had maybe 45 minutes to wash baby bottles, use the restroom and see to my 5yo son who was left to entertain himself on the TV all day. He is on remote learning right now and I had to leave him do his online classes alone. Often he was hungry and I hadn't had the time to make him a meal yet so I was feeding him snacks. Luckily he responded great, but he was basically raising himself at this point and I was very guilty about this. And two, the baby often didn't manage to empty my breasts even with my reduced supply. Sometimes he would cooperate and get maybe even 60cc (2 oz) of breastmilk (plus the 100cc of formula afterwards, he's a big baby)! I was thrilled! But a lot of the time he would go 2 or 3 feedings without emptying any of my breasts and I honestly didn't have the time to add pumping into this schedule.

    As you can guess, I got my first mastitis at 3 weeks. It was bad. We're talking fever higher than 39.5, me being delirious bad. My husband got off work even though he had little vacation days. My doctor wanted me to stop breastfeeding when I was in such a bad condition and pump and dump instead. Thing is I didn't even have the strength to hold the baby, much less breastfeed or pump at this point. My other breast got blocked ducts too. It was 2 days of misery that I have little memory of due to the high fever, until the antibiotics kicked in. Meanwhile, while we were 90% sure that it was mastitis, we still considered it a Covid scare. I had to drag my delirious feverish bottom into taking a test (which came out negative) and keep all our elderly parents away for safety reasons, leaving the both of us with little outside help.

    I remember coming around when my fever started breaking and my older boy came into my room almost in tears when he saw I was up and awake. He burst out that it was his fault mommy was so sick, because he had asked for a baby and now the baby was making his mommy so sick. It took a good bit of talking and reassuring to get that idea out of his little head. My husband had to go back to work before I had recovered and I was once again home alone with a 5yo and a newborn. I tried exclusively pumping hoping that it would solve our issues but the breast pump could never empty the inside and outside areas of my breasts for some reason, so I kept getting painful hard lumps in those areas. So once the fever went down, back to breastfeeding we go.

    Meanwhile, my supply went up a little. Great! But we kept having the same issues. At night he would sometimes spend more time asleep on the breast than off. Which would be fine if not for the fact that he woke up screaming from hunger and latching back on voraciously. My nipples were once again completely destroyed. At this point we were past one month of breastfeeding and I had never stopped being in extreme pain, despite having had a specialist confirm he has a good latch and no tongue tie or other issues (I think waking up and gnashing on the nipple from hunger multiple times per hour may have had something to do with this).

    Meanwhile, somewhere at this time the colic pains started. Breastfeeding was no longer peaceful. He would grunt, bite, kick and cry/scream when nursing in the afternoon and evening hours. Given that our feeding sessions measured still more than an hour, this was especially painful and draining. I was getting almost no sleep. And still I had tender breasts. Cue in the second bout of mastitis.

    To be honest, while bad (high fever, body-wracking chills), it was not as bad as the first time. I was slightly impaired but not completely delirious. But it felt more difficult. Husband no longer had any time-off left from his job so he had to go to work and sneakily leave early on the first day, leaving me alone to take care of the children while feverish, weak and shaking. My MIL came to help us on the second day even though it was still slightly risky for her. And I was in pain, from my breast to my hand, with swollen lymph nodes in my armpit and the beginning of more hard lumps on the other side.

    At this time my doctor told me he thought it was time I gave up on breastfeeding. To be honest, I was half delirious again when we had this talk, so I was in no position to bring up objections or have a proper talk with him. But I did wait until my husband came home and took some paracetamol so I could feel a bit better and be in a position to discuss this with him. I was surprised to see my husband explode. He had been feeling like I should give up breastfeeding for some time and was relieved that the doctor suggested it so we could move on. He explained that to him it felt like we were torturing our baby with trying for hours to breastfeed when we could just give him some formula and let him rest content. Also, he realistically had no more vacation days left for his work and couldn't sneak around and leave early anymore or he would risk losing his job. So basically we couldn't risk another bout of mastitis as it wouldn't be safe to leave me alone with the children so impaired. When I called my parents, I barely even got to begin the discussion before my father started pleading me to stop breastfeeding. Apparently this whole thing had been bothering everyone more than I thought.

    So, after all this, I put my big girl pants on, and started the pills to stop breastfeeding along with the strong(er) antibiotics that I would normally avoid while nursing. We began to only give our baby formula and I used a pump the first couple of days and proceeded to bind my breasts afterwards. Baby is still feeding every 2 hours, but now it's a 10 minute task of preparing the bottle of formula instead of hourly breastfeeding sessions. We got a new schedule up where husband takes over (colicky) baby when he comes home from work so I can sleep in the afternoon, while I take over at midnight so he can sleep at night and go to work in the morning. My fever has gone completely down. My breasts are now bound and not making anymore milk for the 3rd day. And I had my first diet soda in almost a year.

    But I'm sad. So sad and guilty and on the verge of regret. It's too late of course now, because the medication to stop lactation is not safe for babies and it stays in your body for a long time. Heck, I'm still taking it. But I can't help but feel sad that I could only breastfeed my little one for 6 weeks. I had high hopes that this time would be better. I had more milk! The baby had a good latch! *sigh* I feel so disappointed in retrospect. Am I wronging him compared to his brother that breastfed for 6 months? Was I too quick to give up because they caught me at a weak time? Should I have waited until the fever went down (admittedly with the weaker antibiotic) so I could think this more carefully? To be honest, if I had to make the decision now, I'm not sure I would stop. But then again, I'm recovered from my mastitis, well rested and breast-pain free for the first time in 6 weeks. Perhaps I would feel different if I was still struggling. Also, I now have more time to spend with my 5yo. I was able to cook his favorite meal today. And he gets to hold the baby and play with him too now that he's not always latched onto me.

    But the sad feelings can't go away. Based on my previous searches on various breastfeeding issues, every site I visit has breastfeeding related advertisements on the sides, often breastfeeding support groups (damn cookies). I cuddled my baby yesterday in a similar position to our nursing one and he tried to latch onto my shirt! I was devastated for a second. I am no longer his primary provider and that hurts. Did I make the wrong decision when wracked with fever? I know there were legitimate reasons but I also can't help how I feel. Is it hormones? Will it get better?

    I'm sorry for the mini-novel, but this was my confession post. It's almost 4am here and I'm cuddling my baby in my arms, but I'm also almost in tears and looking up breastfeeding success stories making myself feel worse. My dear husband never really appreciated breastfeeding all that much, so he can't quite understand how I feel, for all that he tries to respect my decisions. I was hoping that some of you ladies and this group that I have been following as comfort and support throughout my pregnancy might have any advice. And I just needed to put all my feelings down into writing as a form of release. Thanks for reading and again, sorry for the text wall.
     
  11. Jules8

    Jules8 Well-Known Member

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    Look at those adorable babes!!! I can’t believe how big they are all getting.

    quantea- I’m sending you massive amounts of hugs!!! I am 100% fed is best. I don’t know many children or adults that’s go around talking about how much better they are because they were fed one way or another. It’s a pressure we put on ourselves as mommas. Breastfeeding is great and all, but if it’s disrupting the important bonding time and your happiness then you made the right choice. Your baby got some and you tried, that’s an accomplishment! Don’t be hard on yourself or feel guilty, you just enjoy this time with your baby.

    afm- We’re good. Gabe is 11 weeks old. He’s a pretty good baby and is sleeping good, I’m not jinxing it though. My second slept good then once she turned 4 months she stopped and hasn’t been a good sleeper since. Lol He smiles and talks...I just love those little baby noises. He’s a big boy and I could just snuggle him all day.❤️❤️❤️ I’ve been back at work for 2 weeks and it stinks, I miss my babies so much.

     
  12. Quantea

    Quantea New Mom

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    Jules8, thank you for your kind words, I guess I really needed to hear that from another mom to help me put the guilt down. The irony of the matter is that I'm not even a big supporter of breastfeeding, so I have no idea why this has hit me so hard...

    By the way, your gorgeous little boy looks so much like mine! They even have the same patch of fly-away hair on the top of their heads!
     
  13. Jules8

    Jules8 Well-Known Member

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    I’m a realist so I think these perfect painted pictures of how were “supposed” to feed and raise our kids bothers me. So many moms with mom guilt when we’re all just out here trying our best. I’m one of them sometimes.! I’m in a few mom groups and people will argue til their face turns blue that their way is the best way. They did their research! It’s proven to(insert their way here) is best! We are all in different situations so why is only one way acceptable? You know what helps our kids more than anything? Having a happy and stable environment. One where the people around them love and care for them. As long as your baby is loved, cared for, and thriving you do you. I support that.

    His hair is crazy! Lol I can’t get it to stay down, it puffs up no matter how much I wet or comb it. I think it’s so adorable!
     
  14. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    @Quantea first of all *hugs*! It is soooo hard getting over that guilt feeling. I only breastfed my first for about 3 weeks with a similar situation to the one you described but I gave up after the first bout of mastitis. Its been 10 years and sometimes I still feel guilty. I know it was what was best for him and I in the long run though as I was a sleep deprived mess and in constant pain the entire time. We didn't really even get to bond during that whole time because of all the frustrations and emotions. You're doing what is right for you and your baby and that's all you can do! Be proud, you made it 6 weeks and it wasn't easy to do so but you did it. Now you and everyone else can just enjoy your time together without being stressed.

    @Jules8 he is just too cute! I cant believe hes almost three months old already. I feel like its going by far too fast.
     
  15. RNMama23

    RNMama23 Well-Known Member

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    Hey everyone!

    Hoping for an update on all our little ones :)

    The twins are 3 months old and I am back to work, but things are going well! They are great sleepers (). We are usually asleep by 9pm and wake up between 2-3 and again around 6. I am still pumping and bottle feeding them. Macy is still about 3 pounds smaller than Colson and I finally moved her into 0-3 months clothes from newborn this week. Colson has some issues with his neck muscles so he is in physical therapy for that, but is improving :)

    How is everyone else doing?

     
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  16. lisaalove

    lisaalove Well-Known Member

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    @RNMama23 awwww theyre so cute!! Funny you've been thinking about an update cause so have I!

    Colton is 3 and a half months (14w) old. It's so hard to believe how big he is. Hes already rolled belly to back a few times and he's already in 6month clothes. At his 2 month checkup he was 16 lbs. So im pretty sure he's like 17 or 18 now. I feel like of course our last has to grow up the fastest and be a big baby from birth lol. Ive gotten lucky though and hes been an amazing sleeper since birth and so far were still going strong. Hes usually asleep around 8-9pm and wakes up around 2am then back to sleep until around 7-8am. If I had gotten this lucky with my other two I may have not waited as long between kids :haha:

     
  17. rollachick

    rollachick Well-Known Member

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    RnMuma, it's crazy how different in size they can be. But glad to hear they r both doing ok, hope they neck thing doesn't turn out to be anything major.

    Lisa, can't believe he is rolling already, that's amazing!!!
     
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  18. rollachick

    rollachick Well-Known Member

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    As for me.
    Kacey is doing so well she sleeps at around 9-10pm untill 6-7am so I'm very lucky about that. But on the other hand she's not a fan of sleeping during the day. I'm lucky if she does one 30min nap in her bed during the whole day. The rest is just 15-20min cat naps on me
    Have started back at work last week but I can bring her with me so it's not as hard as it sounds like it is for some of yous.
    Loving the baby talk and loving smiles she gives us and to her older brother and sister

     
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  19. Sander

    Sander Well-Known Member

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    Aw beautiful babies!! Nice to hear from everyone :)

    We did Thomas’ sleep training at 3 months so he usually goes to bed at 7, gets up between 6 and 8. Luckily if he’s up at 6 he just wants a quick nurse and then sleeps until 8 or 9 - I know it’s a little crazy lol. We’ve been lucky that all our boys are good sleepers at night.

    He’s in 3-6 month clothing, he can roll back to front and I think we’ll get a laugh out of him soon! We’ve also started him on solids which he’s loving - sweet potatoes are a huge hit. He’s such an easy going guy :cloud9:

     
  20. Suggerhoney

    Suggerhoney 41 and Pregnant :)

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    Awwww these babies are getting so big. But oh so cute.
    Glad to see there all doing so well
     

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