Jessie's Journey

[jessieles]

Hi Girls!

So I decided to keep myself sane I would start my own Journal, meaning I can have somewhere to vent my feelings and thoughts without driving my dh crazy!

I have been a member of BnB for a year now and have found reading other peoples journals really helpful!

So here is a bit about me, I am 26 years old, have been actively trying to get pregnant since September 2013. A whole 20 months of heartache!

After a year of trying, I went to the Dr to try and get some answers as to why this wasnt happening for me, after every test under the sun and a lot of money, it came to light that I wasnt ovulating very well on my own, so in December I was prescribed Clomid, 50mg on days 2-6.

I took the first cycle in January and on Feb 11th I got my first bfp! I was over the moon and in total shock! I went for my 6 week scan and a sac could be seen but nothing else, so I was told to come back in 2 weeks to see the baby. However at my 8 week scan it was confirmed that I had a blighted ovum. Another long 2 weeks of waiting to miscarry passed and eventually on March 27th I used misoprostol to start the misscarriage. Making me 10 weeks and 2 days. I won't lie, this was the worst experience of my life.

I have now just finished my second cycle of clomid and am praying it wont be much longer for my bfp!

I dont know about you guys but I can honestly say that I have found trying to conceieve the most stressful, emotional time of my life!

xxxxxx

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/pregnancy-journals/2392994-boy-girl.html

 

[havefaith01]

Hi Girls!

So I decided to keep myself sane I would start my own Journal, meaning I can have somewhere to vent my feelings and thoughts without driving my dh crazy!

I have been a member of BnB for a year now and have found reading other peoples journals really helpful!

So here is a bit about me, I am 26 years old, have been actively trying to get pregnant since September 2013. A whole 20 months of heartache!

After a year of trying, I went to the Dr to try and get some answers as to why this wasnt happening for me, after every test under the sun and a lot of money, it came to light that I wasnt ovulating very well on my own, so in December I was prescribed Clomid, 50mg on days 2-6.

I took the first cycle in January and on Feb 11th I got my first bfp! I was over the moon and in total shock! I went for my 6 week scan and a sac could be seen but nothing else, so I was told to come back in 2 weeks to see the baby. However at my 8 week scan it was confirmed that I had a blighted ovum. Another long 2 weeks of waiting to miscarry passed and eventually on March 27th I used misoprostol to start the misscarriage. Making me 10 weeks and 2 days. I won't lie, this was the worst experience of my life.

I have now just finished my second cycle of clomid and am praying it wont be much longer for my bfp!

I dont know about you guys but I can honestly say that I have found trying to conceieve the most stressful, emotional time of my life!

xxxxxx

Hi! I am very sorry for your loss! I just recently miscarried at 8.5 weeks, found out at 10 week scan. We are trying again, and not waiting for AF! This time it has been very stressful...I wish it wasn't. I wanted to be one of those ladies that try again and get it on the first try...I know that is almost impossible! I am getting ready to enter my tww....but I just have a feeling it didn't happen. Praying you get your BFP very soon!

 

[jessieles]

Hello havefaith, thanks for your kind comments. its an awful time isnt it, i hoped to catch before af too but didnt happen for me. I have heard that after a miscarriage you are more fertile so dont be too negative on yourself! Fingers crossed if its not this cycle then defo the next for you!

 

[havefaith01]

I got my first REAL positive OPK yesterday CD 19 (counting D&C as CD1). We Bd'd the day before and today...sorry TMI... hope I didn't miss it! Are you using Opk's this cycle?

 

[jessieles]

thats fab!! your in with a good chance! i wasnt gonna bother bcoz they stress me out, im always unsure whether what im looking at is a positive or a negative so wer just gonna bd eod! Its so cruel to get your bfp and dreams and then hav it all taken away isnt it!

 

[havefaith01]

thats fab!! your in with a good chance! i wasnt gonna bother bcoz they stress me out, im always unsure whether what im looking at is a positive or a negative so wer just gonna bd eod! Its so cruel to get your bfp and dreams and then hav it all taken away isnt it!

Yes...it is very cruel....so heartbreaking! Never thought it would happen to me!!! Opks street me out too. When is your next cycle due?

 

[jessieles]

Im currently on cd13 so half way through! you keep bding xx

 

[Babylove100]

I found you yay for your journal! Remember, you got this!xx

 

[jessieles]

Hiya Babylove! Well looking at yours daily has helped me so i thought why not! I hope your feeling better

 

[Babylove100]

Thank you! Feel a bit better, just dh causing me problems now honestly, men are insufferable sometimes!!x

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Hi Jessie! I thought I would come join you. I'm sorry for your loss.
I had a MMC in April after 10 months TTC. We did try last cycle before AF but it didn't happen. I am now currently CD4.
I have PCOS and on my next cycle (June sometime) I am starting back on Clomid. We are just going to BD a couple of times a week in the hope to catch an egg before then.
I am lucky that with my Clomid cycle I will get a follicle scan and hopefully that will help us time BD well.
Good luck in your rainbow journey. Let's hope we all get out BFPs quickly. Xx

 

[jessieles]

babylove- i know the feeling my dh is driving me nuts at the moment!!

Teeny Weeny! Heya hun, that would be lovely to share your journey with you! How is your cycle going? im on cd 16 today, weve only managed to bd on cd11,13 and 14 so now im stressing that its not enough! how many cycle on clomid were you before you got your bfp? xxx

 

[jessieles]

So, I am now on cd23. This cycle we have bd'd on cd 11, 13,14, 17, and 19 so im really hoping that we have covered it this cycle. The cycle that I got my bfp we did 6,8,10,12,14,16 and 17 so its making me anxious that we havent quite bd'd that many times this month.

We have been away this week and had a few days off together, to try and focus on other things other than getting that bfp. I have to be honest, when i had my miscarriage I thought that booking these things would really distract me, but ive come to accept, no matter what im doing or where I am, the empty feeling inside me is always there. I am now at the stage where I am really struggling with it all. I feel like I am going through the daily motions of life but deep down i wanna hide myself somewhere and not come out until I have that little bean growing inside me. I have lost all positivity about any of it.

 

[jessieles]

So today I had my progesterone levels back. I was told that a level over 30 means I had ovulated, the month I got my bfp it was 35, today it was 50. Although I am trying so hard not to get my hopes up, I now have a sliver of hope!

 

[jessieles]

Today i have strong af pains. Why do pregnancy symptoms have to be the same as af symptoms? The month I got my bfp I was convinced af was due, so now my head is all over the shop. A bit of me is excited and then a bit of me is dreading af so much that I could burst into tears at any moment!

 

[Babylove100]

Ah keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you!! Hope your doing okay, I know how you feel, I had a down day yesterday, the sad feeling is never too far away is it

 

[jessieles]

Tell me about it hun, rubbish isnt it! How are you doing? xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

How many DPO are you now honey? Xx

 

[Pickletilly]

I have absolutely everything crossed for you J, I really hope this is it for you. Time to fill that void

 

[Babylove100]

I'm still here plodding along waiting to "hopefully" ovulate soon!

How far in your cycle are you now hun??