Jessie's Journey

[TinyLynne]

We will be. I have no idea how far away it is.... But we will be. I'm just not sure how to make it that long. But it is really nice to have people that really do understand the feeling.

I hope you feel better soon dear. I'm always up for chatting and venting if you want.

 

[fairyy]

Jessie when is AF due ? Hope brown is just old blood making it's way out.

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Could it be implantation spotting? Sounds about the right time. Xx

 

[jessieles]

I think im out! Bfn yesterday and stronger cramps today, still a bit of spotting.

I find it all soooooooo frustrating, im past being upset now im just angry, we are doing everything we are told, taking clomid, having sex as much as poss and now im going on to cycle 5 on clomid, why isnt it working again!! and if one more person tells me its because im not relaxin ill kill them haha!

i have no new plans, just start cycle 5 and carry on doing what we are doing, i dnt think thers nethin else we can do really!

How are you guys all doing anyway?

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Sorry to hear that Jessieles. How many dpo are you?
I am apparently 15dpo so waiting on the witch. BFN all round! I have pain in where I imagine my ovaries to be but that's nothing new. I have had awful cramps this cycle throughout and the Clomid has really messed me up this month. I am CD35 so Clomid didn't work.
I am so frustrated, angry even. It seems like I put so much hope into it and it's made this month worse. I just want AF to hurry up so that I can move on.
I feel like I've known from the start really that it didn't work. When I didn't get positive OPKs for ages after taking it and then BFN everyday I knew it was a bust. It's been a torturous wait for AF and she still isn't here, yet. I am hoping she will show later today and get on with it.

I hope the spotting is implantation and not AF for you. Xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Wow, I sound so moany! I do feel miserable so hopefully that's a sign she is just around the corner. Xx

 

[jessieles]

No you dont atall hun! I feel exactly the same, just angry! why is everyone getting pregnant and its so hard for people like us who want it so bad!! im honestly thinking about pipettes/sringes too for the days when dh is struggling! part of me thinks maybe the swimmers just arent getting there!

so will you just take clomid agen now when af starts? are you having bloods done? xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

When AF comes I will start it again. Hopefully this month I will get a follicle scan. If not, I will be going to the GP for a post ovulation blood check.
I am so fed up of this month now. It has dragged on and on. I am really crampy so hopefully AF will show up today. It usually comes in the morning, but I guess anything is possible with Clomid.
I have realised, that Clomid will give so many 'symptoms' and trick us. I could scream and shout right now. I feel so mad and let down by my body.

I really hope this month is your month. I don't wish this horrible journey on anyone. Xx

 

[TinyLynne]

I'm sorry Hun. Believe me, I totally get the anger. I've stopped being sad and just being angry and I hate it.

Have you tried BD every other day to give the swimmers a chance to build up, and do it from beginning of the cycle? what about Preseed? I'm 2/2 with it even though I make enough EWCM. Also, I started making sure that I Orgasm after we BD, I read this somewhere, and I didn't use Preseed this cycle, but I did manually make sure I Orgasmed after he was done, and something worked to get them together. I was only 1 for 6 without Preseed before.

I really hope you find what works for you!!

 

[jessieles]

Yeh we usually bd every other day throughout the month, i used pre seed previously but dh didnt really like it so we stopped. the first month on clomid i caught, and that month we just bd every other day so we have just continued with that really!

teeny- try and be kind to yourself, have a few days of doing what makes you happy and then well be back to starting all over agen xx

 

[fairyy]

Oh Jess I seriously can't believe that this cycle isn't a BFP cycle.

Come on BFP !!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

^^^ What fairyy said! Good luck. Xx

 

[fairyy]

How are you Jess ?

 

[jessieles]

Heya hun. Im ok. Af came full force this weekend so back to clomid agen. 2 cycles left argh! I feel ok. I think im at the point now where i dont cry anymore im kinda numb about it all. So back to bd eod and seeing what happens. Its so frustrating that my eggs r getting better every month n nothings happenin grrr. How r u? Xx

 

[fairyy]

Sorry Jessie. I am angry too. Why do we have to go through these pain month after month ! I am hoping a BFP for you within next two cycles.

Btw how long your cycles are ? Are they getting shorter after you started clomid ?

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I'm sorry to hear the witch got you Jessie.
It seems we are both on the same schedule. I only have 2 more months on Clomid. I pray you get a BFP before then. Xx

AFM, FF changed my ovulation day and so I am still waiting. If AF shows Friday it will have been a 6 week cycle. if she doesn't show, then I will be off to the GP for something to bring my period.

 

[jessieles]

I am feelin really determined now and so is dh which is good! I am going to do everything i can to catch within these 2 cycles, i really dont want ovary drilling and i defo dont want to go on the ivf waiting list.
So i have b6, evening primrose oil, folic acid, clomid, concieve plus and this month i have even got sringes for the days dh struggles with another bd session!

I did used to have 31 day cycles pal but the last few have been 28 days!

teeny- lets try and get this within the next 2 months!!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

I am going to try to get to the GP today for some provera. I don't see the point in wasting time on this cycle anymore.

You seem to have everything in hand. You can do this! Good luck. Xx

 

[fairyy]

When are you going for fertility reflexology ? It is for this cycle right ?!

 

[PrincessTaz]

I'm so sorry af got you, it's so crap! It's so horrible when we put so much into ttc and then af comes.

Sounds like this cycle all the stops are coming out, I really really hope you get your sticky bfp!