What a crappy Christmas.
Tonight, I used the bathroom and when I wiped, I could literally feel my cervix. It felt like it was hanging out so I washed my hands and checked and it's literally rifht there and feels a bit open. I'm hoping it feels open only because I've had three babies before. There's no bleeding, but I also haven't felt any movements really in two days so I'm back in panic mode that something might be wrong and I really don't feel hopeful or positive.
Maybe it's just my paranoia that I jinxed myself by buying baby stuff early, but I have to wait til Friday at the earliest to be seen.
Maybe it's because my heart is heavy with grief tonight too. My friend's 5 year old son, Brady, passed away tonight. It's horrible to lose your child, but to lose him on Christmas Eve is all the more devastating.