Havens birth story
Haven Ellerie Eastman was born on March 7 at 9:09 pm. She weighed a tiny 6lbs 14oz, 18in long. Her birth story started 6 weeks before her birth when I had my first elevated blood pressure. With a history of gestational hypertension I was monitored closely, but had zero symptoms of preeclampsia. Every weekly check up it was a watch & wait. Finally at my last appointment (Monday) at 36 & 6 it was at its highest 159/90 and I was told I had to make it to my next weekly appointment and they would induce me after 38w. I wasnt feeling well. The next day (Tuesday) was terrible. I had done grocery shopping & was waiting in the car line at school to get my preschooler when I started feeling very nauseous, my face was pounding. I felt like a truck had hit me. I called my niece and asked her to come over and watch my 2 little ones so I could get a nap before I had to pick up my 4 older kids. I slept for a few hours & got through the night. I woke up the next morning (Wednesday) with a bunch of energy, dropped off the kids at school & made plans to see my niece for lunch. I met her after I picked up my preschooler for fast food in the car and I started feeling exactly them same as the day before. I promised the kids Id take them to Target, but I knew I needed to go home. On my way home I called my doula to tell her how Id been feeling. She was very concerned as shes been through all 7 of my pregnancies and I had never felt like that before. She wanted me to call my ob/mw & let them know things were changing. I called & they put me through to the nurse who was not concerned at all. I had no symptoms of preeclampsia, I was more than 9 months pregnant, and maybe I had a stomach bug
She said I could wait for my next appointment on Monday, unless I really wanted to come in, she would not bother a Dr. but set me up with a nurses appointment to check my BP. I wasnt sure what to do I felt a little foolish, so I called my doula back and she said she was on her way to get me to bring me herself, because she was not comfortable with what I was telling her. I got to the office and they brought me right in & checked my BP 169/98. Not good. The nurse said shed grab a Dr right away and within 3 minutes she was back telling me to head over to the hospital, it was time to have my baby. I cried. I was so unprepared for that! I hadnt said goodbye to the rest of my children and it was still 3 weeks early. I had to call my husband, he had to get my bag and meet us at the hospital.
When we got there they put me in triage, which was weird, and hooked me up to the monitor and drew blood. Apparently there was some miscommunication that I was there to be monitored and not induced. In bed my BP was peachy. They discussed sending me home. As it happens there are a few obs in my group I do not like and one mw & Dr. I love. My favorites both happen to be on call that night. The mw said she wanted me to have my BP taken standing up before we went any further. I had to pee anyway so it was a great time. They took it right as I stood and it was fine. I walked one door down to the bathroom & back, took it again 169/98. The mw came in just as that pressure was taken & said I wasnt going home. Ideally if I could go home and be on strict bed rest until 38w that is what we would do, but with 6 kids at home already we all agreed that wasnt likely to happen. So off to a room I went. I was checked and was only 1cm, thick, and my cervix was very far back. The mw said shed like to give me something to sleep, cervidil & pitocin in the morning. I did not want to take something to sleep. I also wanted to try the most natural induction as possible. My awesome nurse suggested a Foley catheter. Its pretty simple, put it in your cervix, it stretches its way out & viola you are 3cm! Well, nothing is as easy as that. Because I was so unfavorable the mw had to set up the stirrups and break down the table to get the catheter in place. I was shocked at the sight and then feel of being in the stirrups. I had given birth 6 times before and never actually seen them. What an uncomfortable, confining, controlling, and obviously man created system that is! I have no idea how any woman could relax enough to push a baby out in those especially uphill! Im sorry to any of you who have done it. Anyway, the catheter placement was uncomfortable with all the reaching and the mws knuckles but after about 10 minutes she had it in & filled. And then POP! We were confused at first, what the heck was that? My water? No, it was the balloon! No one had ever heard of one popping before. I had to go through the entire process again! It gets taped to you leg taught and you wait for it to fall out. It was around 7pm when that was finished. I was crampy but nothing more. My mw suggested I eat something & get some sleep. All I wanted was Greek yogurt and toast. Sent my doula out for just that & then sent her home promising Id call when something started. Dh & I tried to get some sleep. I barely slept at all between worrying about the baby and constantly having my BP checked. I also had to have the nurses keep checking the catheter and adjusting it through the night. It was really frustrating. Not to mention the fact that my SPD was killing me, and the hospital bed was so uncomfortable. I hate the hospital so much anyway so I knew I wasnt going to sleep.
Around 6:30 the next morning I went to the bathroom and delivered my Foley baby! I was pretty excited because that meant things were moving along! My mw came in & decided we could break my water now. I was 3cm but nothing else had changed, still thick and far back. She made 3 attempts to break my water painfully and just couldnt get it. She thought she nicked the bag. I had a few choices, she could try again, she could give me a break and try later, or she could bring in the Dr with more experience to give it a try. I asked her to bring in the Dr. Just as he walked in the room I said, never mind! My water had just broken! Exciting again! Now things would finally pick up and move along. Then nothing. We decided to break out the breast pump and give that a shot. I pumped for over an hour (got a bonus 20cc of colostrom) but nothing happened. We decided it was time to start pitocin. Im not really sure what time that was, late morning I guess. Contractions started almost right away painful from the get go as pitocin makes them. I decided to try to walk to speed things along. Now would be a good time to say I had been dealing with crippling SPD since November. It was so bad I was unable to walk around at all by evening. It was as if someone smashed me between the legs with a baseball bat, and I had a hot knife constantly stabbing me in the middle of my pelvis. Trying to walk around the hospital was too much. That made me upset because Im used to being active during labor and if I couldnt walk I was pretty much limited to the birth ball or the tub. So, I moved to the birth ball. It wasnt so bad at first. I was having a fun time with my birth team, my dh, my doula, my nurse & my mw. Then the contractions really picked up. I was able to sneak in a snack of peanut butter on crackers. I would say they were at least a good 6 on the pain scale. Almost worse than the contractions was the pain in my pelvis from the SPD like something was trying to pry me apart. My mw suggested the tub for some relief. There was part of me that knew I wasnt ready for the tub. I asked to be checked first. 3cm! What! It had been hours of contractions & I had made no progress except the baby was zero station. I was so discouraged. I had great nurses come & go, my mw & favorite Dr would be leaving in a few hours, and I didnt really know the next Dr on call. I got in the tub anyway. Instant relief! I would say a 50% reduction in pain. And then everything slowed down. Up with the pit as they had done all day. I was feeling more and more pressure on myself that it was taking too long, nothing was going as I had hoped. I got out of the tub and back on the ball in the tub room. My mw was leaving and I was at a stand still. I think my doula knew I was in a bad place so she stepped out and gave dh & I a little time. I put my head on my dh who was in a chair next to me and sobbed. I mean I sobbed hard. I had no idea why I was crying. Maybe because this was going to be the last baby? Maybe because I felt like I was letting everyone down because it was taking too long? Maybe because I was exhausted and it had been 24 hours of this already? We decided to go back to our room and get checked. I got in bed and my new, and best yet, nurse checked me. 3cm. That was enough. I told everyone to leave me alone. I was going to crawl into bed & have a pity party. So I did just that. My contractions were coming fast and fierce. 9 out of 10 on a pain scale. But I was not making progress. I lay in bed terrified I was going to end up with a section. My pelvis was on fire. I wasnt sure how I was going to deal with pushing when and if the time came. After about half an hour I decided to get back on the ball. It was counterproductive lying in bed, I needed this baby to get in a good position to come out. At this point my dh & doula decided to order dinner. I just went about my business laboring, trying to relax through my contractions. It was getting intense. It had to be the pelvic pain. I was being taken to a level of pain I did not know even existed. Not only were the contractions the worst I had felt there was no relief in-between because of my pelvis being pried apart. It was unbearable. And yet, there was nothing I could do. I just melted into each one knowing there would be no break. Just intense pain on top of intense pain. I had already decided to abandon my dream of a water birth, it slowed things down and I didnt feel like getting in and out of the stupid tub. My doula and nurse almost forced me to go back into the tub room. I wanted to be checked first. Would you believe after several more hours of the worst pain I have ever felt in my life I was still 3cm? Neither could I. I cried again. I knew I was headed for a section. I knew I could not take much more of the pain. I was failing. My 7th and last birth, all my births before completely natural, my body was failing me. My nurse very calmly stroked my leg and explained that sometimes this happens to moms who have given birth so many times. We can get scar tissue in our cervix making it difficult to dilate, but I could go from 3cm to pushing in a very short time. She said there was no push for a section, they all had faith in my body, and me that I had done this before and I would do it again. Now lets get back in the tub. In the tub I went. I felt at this point I didnt care how many stupid cm I was I just needed some relief. I got it in the tub, thank God. It was just after 8pm. My contractions were as intense, but I was getting some relief from the pelvic pain. I was sitting almost Indian style sideways in the tub. I was leaning back on a pillow and melting into the contractions. My dh was behind me caressing my head and shoulders. I was calm and quiet except making some counter pressure breathing during the contractions. I could feel the baby moving down. I could feel my cervix dilating. I knew it was getting close. I said out loud that I was going to be ready to push soon, but I did not want to get the Dr until I knew I had made progress. I was damned if I was going to get excited again just to be told I was 3cm. So I did the only logical thing I reached down between my own legs and checked myself. (No I had never done that before, lol) I announced that I could feel the babys head which had hair, but I still had a lip of cervix. I asked my nurse to get the Dr because it would only be a few more contractions. Im not sure what everyone else in the room though about that. It was funny for a moment, but the nurse did as I asked. I could hear the Dr on the way in say She said what? Well did you check her? So the nurse checked me and said, Its exactly as she described, hair & all. I waited 2 more contractions and felt like I should be pushing already, so something was holding me up. I went ahead and checked myself again and I was exactly the same. I announced this time that my position was holding me up and I needed to change positions. I looked at this Dr who I didnt know, trust, or know if I really cared for at the time and asked what position hed like me to get into to push, and that darling man said to me what ever position feels right to YOU. That was all I needed. Up to that point I had held myself up for what I feel like was the entire labor worrying about so much. I adjusted myself on my left side, I put my top leg on the top of the tub & grabbed onto my dhs hands. The very next contraction I announced with a grunt that I was pushing. At first I tried to ease her head out slowly. Once the pain of that stretching of my pelvis hit me I said screw it, she needs to come out now! I got her head out with that first contraction. I took a deep breath and pushed for the second time with everything I had left and got the rest of her out. My doula shouted Amy open your eyes! I did and there was my precious baby in the water just waiting for me to reach down and take into my arms. The Dr had only guided her to my hands. My first thought was, she is so tiny! I have given birth to 2, 9lb 7oz babies and she was just a tiny peanut! I cuddled her with her body in the water totally relaxed and quiet. It was like time stopped. All my pain was gone and it was all worth it because I was just radiating with the immense love for my child. My dh got up at some point and grabbed a blanket and said my turn! She went right from my arms to his. I eased myself out of the tub and over to the toilet and gently delivered the placenta. I had a horrendous experience before, but my Dr was patient and gentle and perfect. After that I got in a wheelchair to be pushed to my room. Haven Ellerie was born at 9:09 pm just less than an hour after I had gotten into the tub, after more than 30 hours in the hospital. She spent almost 2 hours with us until they took her to check her out and clean her up. They do all of it right in my room, which was wonderful. By 1:30am (Friday) I was finally left alone I sent my dh home to be with my other babies.
The Dr, who I had not known or trusted, had ended up being just exactly what I needed. He trusted in me and let me listen to my body and birth my baby. I will always be grateful. He came to my room the next day and said he could speak for everyone in that tub room in saying it was the best birth they had ever seen in their life ever. Coming from an experienced Dr I was so proud. And I should be. I was brought to a level of pain I had not know existed and I pushed myself through it. I had a few too many bumps along the way but I did it! And as I look down at my beautiful sleeping girl I can honestly say there is nothing I wouldnt do for her. She is mine and I am hers and we are so in love!
There are many people that never truly know what their meaning of life is, and fewer that get to follow that dream. I know that being a mother is what I was meant to do. The fact that I have been able to do it 7 times, with all the love and support of my husband is overwhelming. I truly am the most blessed woman in the world.
Nothing to extravagant !
plus I'm team yellow x
he secretly likes going. Then we are making steak dinner and having sparkling cider, choc covered strawberries and off to the movies. 
finger
I have sometimes joked about how my pelvis feels like it's about to split into two when I roll over in bed but I didn't realize it's a thing that can actually happen! Oh my!
(He's a chef) 
should keep my slushie craving at bay! Plus my kids LOVE fresh fruit smoothies!
