Vegas,
Thats a good idea you and angel suggested about posting in the other sections. I may just do that.
Omg you have a long day today
.poor you!
Wow
your first ultrasound is almost here!!
Stef,
LOL at Blakes handiwork resulting in you not tensing butt cheeks! I always have DH remove the bandages/tape from when they draw blood. I cant do it myself. Ill sit there for 20 minutes, pulling micro inches at a time.
Your advice about the soy for this cycle mirrors my gut instinct. DH and I had an interesting conversation last night (that he brought up-details below).
Enjoy the cheeseburger and fries!! I dont think that eating chicken later makes up for it, but WHO CARES lol!
Angel,
Wow
that is strange how Carter made that comment about a baby sister!!! FX he does have an insight that we lack!
AFM,
I dont think I mentioned this, but I had such a vivid dream on Friday night. I woke up Saturday morning, mentally dissected and analyzed it, and told DH about it. I dreamt I was on a cruise with DH, DS, and my extended family. After the first day at sea, I realized that the ship we were on wasnt meant for the open seas, it was meant for bodies of water that werent very rough. Well, when I realized that, I panicked, because in my dream, I remembered that on the first cruise DH and I took, there were pretty rough seas for a couple of days (which did happen in real life). I was panicking because I was afraid to tell everyone what I had just realized--that if we hit rough seas, we were screwed. My next thought was Im not going to enjoy myself for the next week because knowing what I know, I can never relax. My dilemma was trying to figure out: do I sound the alarm and tell everyone, or just stay quiet and hope nothing happens?
Im walking around the ship to keep inspecting it, and I see that there was masking tape and stuff along the floors, and that WATER was starting to leak inside. OMG! I was then frantically trying to find DH and my family to tell them that we needed to get the h*ll out of there. at that point, cruise employees were starting to quietly tell people to get in the lifeboats. I finally found my family and DS and told them to get to the lifeboats. They were so calm and taking their time. I was screaming at them and they were so chill! I finally found DH in the casino. Ran up to a man I thought was him, was hysterical and crying, when he turns around, the face morphed into someone else. It wasnt him, although it looked like him, until I got right in front of him. This happened 3 times. Finally I found him and same thing..he was chill as we went to the lifeboats. Then the dream ended.
Well, upon reflection I right away realized that in my dream, the ship was me in an allegorical sense. Meaning that, everything looks fine, but once you start looking at it, its falling apart? Or Im afraid its falling apart? And that Im trying to tell people (family, my drs) that somethings wrong...my body's broken. Im screaming it but everyone refuses to listen to me and my fears!!
So when I explained the dream to DH, he says Thats not what your dream was about at all. Youre just worried about the Vegas trip. Didnt you mention casinos? Weren't we just talking about it last night? Youre a planner and you want to make sure its a perfect trip and everyone has a great time.
I didnt want to argue his point. I mean, HE knows what MY dreams mean, right lol!
Well, I guess it took a couple of days for him to reflect on that conversation, and it sounds like he is starting to get it. Meaning, he gets that I have very real fears and he just pooh pood them again with his analysis of my dream, and not agreeing with my interpretation.
last night, he says listen, I need to tell you something. I just want you to know that Im worried about you. I think you are way way involved in this ttc stuff. I see you, youre always smiling when you think someones looking and say everything is ok when asked, but I dont think you really are ok. I see your face when youre online engrossed in the bnb website. Youre taking all these supplements, herbal teas, waking up at ungodly hours of the morning to temp, etc. Youre stressing out, gaining weight, this cant be good for you. I love how when you want something, you go after it so wholeheartedly, I can appreciate all your efforts to make this happen, but maybe this is something that is out of your control. I just want you to know that I love you no matter what happens, child together, or no child. We have Matthew and I know he loves you with all his heart. I dont want you to be under this stress just because you think I want a child. Im fine with whatever happens, I just dont want to lose us, or lose you, in this process. Youre making yourself sick. Youre only 40 y/o. You act like youre 50. Women have babies so much later in life. We can go do IVF if thats what you want. I dont care how much it costs. If you want to do it, we will. We have options and choices that many dont have. I just want you to please stop stressing over it then he hugged me hard.
Wow
in between the tears, I couldnt really say much but thank you. I
WISH it was just about me feeling pressure from him to conceive, because then I would gladly jump off this ttc train if that was the case, because what he said just got me off the hook, but thats not the case at all. Its
me that wants this to happen so badly. Not to mention the fact that I got pg so quickly the first time isn't helping my expectations!
So, he got me thinking about it and he makes some good points. I think I will just temp starting CD8 or so, until o is confirmed (I know, I know, I've said that before! but I mean it this time!). Then I will stop temping. I think that alone, will go a long way in making me less anxious and stressed.
I'm so hungry and it's the only thing that isn't turning me off from food! I AM eating chicken tonight, so that makes up for it, right?
It was so sweet (what DH said, not me almost crying in front of my boss, lol)!
When will men learn that we have our ways and we know best in certain situations??
