June Baby Angels

[Phantom710]

We will be trying again in January. I'm hoping to receive my calender today for when I start IVF meds again. I'm currently on bcp as I have had NO cycle since the loss.

jen- np I can see where you could get confused.

As for me, PERSONALLY, it would have been easier if it was just a normal blighted ovum as originally diagnosed.

But we've found that wasn't quite the case.

My Betas doubled correctly and then stopped doubling but were still rising. They told me it was a chemical and to stop meds. So I did. Because they knew what they were talking about, right?

Then, 8 days later (and no blood loss) I have an U/S, it was completely conclusive but what it LOOKS like happened was that both embies took, one stopped shortly before the sac formed which caused the non-doubling hcg. I had an empty sac measuring exactly spot on to when I stopped meds. So :S It looks like if I would have kept on with the meds I'd have a twinless twin still happily inside of me.

Next time I think I'll just wait for U/S before stopping meds.

 

[angel2010]

Oh Jem, I am so sorry you lost your baby. Your story is heartbreaking. Give yourself time. It hasn't been that long. After only a week I was still crying everyday too. It is okay to be sad and angry. We are all here for you and all understand how you are feeling.

Vegas, I am sorry you got a reminder today. It really sucks. I would call the hospital as well. We actually want to avoid a September baby because we have too many birthdays then already. Hoping I get af tomorrow or the next day so it is irrelevant for me anyway.

I had a slight temp drop today, hope to see a bigger one tomorrow. Ready to get back to normal.

 

[Megan1986]

Af has come and is almost over. Ready to start trying again. Scared but ready to move forward.

 

[angel2010]

Jem, I just wanted to let you know that we all have bad days still. I just posted earlier that I don't cry really anymore. I felt okay when I wrote that, but as the day progressed I felt worse. I have cried today for the first time in over a week. Two days ago was one month since the loss.

 

[jem77]

Jem, I just wanted to let you know that we all have bad days still. I just posted earlier that I don't cry really anymore. I felt okay when I wrote that, but as the day progressed I felt worse. I have cried today for the first time in over a week. Two days ago was one month since the loss.

I'm sorry you are still having "sad" moments. I don't think the pain will ever go away...maybe lessen, but bot go.
I am starting to feel lie a prisoner in my own body. I'm sick of being in the house, but I can't compose myself to go out. When I try to go shopping, I just feel like a zombie. I dread going back to work. I have an appt with my Dr tomorrow and I'm sure she'll say to go to work Fri. I'm anxious about the appt too. Not sure hat to expect, but I am sick of being poked and prodded. I don't want an exam or bloodwork. Any ideas what will go on at this appt?

 

[angel2010]

Jem, I just had my follow up visit last Thursday. It was three weeks from the miscarriage and all we did was talk. They didn't take any blood, I didn't have to pee in anything and he didn't poke anywhere.

 

[Meli_H]

Hi Ladies,

Sorry I’ve been out of the loop the last few days!! Will try to catch up below:

Jasmine,

SO glad to hear that you went ahead and decided TTC after all! What vegas posted about the most fertile day of the year when you were O’in--that’s another positive sign that you will be catching the egg!

Vegas,

It’s great to hear that you got through the weekend without crying, especially with a four month old around. I don’t think I can do that yet…and I would also be irritated if I got a phone call from a random person about your pregnancy. I got a phone call from my dr's office 5 days after my mc, asking why I had missed my 11 week appt? I said, I had a mc last week--don't you guys read the patient files? She sounded flustered and put me on hold, I waited a couple of minutes then hung up. Later on, I felt bad for her...

Stef,

Sorry to hear that you are still bleeding! I know what you mean…it’s annoying isn’t it. I feel like the sooner the physical symptoms go away, the sooner I can heal emotionally.

I am going to an acupuncturist today for my first appointment. I’m hoping she can help me!

 

[angel2010]

I don't understand, how is it that the more time that passes, the madder I get that my sil is still pregnant and I am not. I have been having a really rough couple of days with this.

 

[vegasbaby]

Angel: I completely understand. My SIL is pregnant too and I have to go see her at Christmas and I know it will be hard. I feel like she already has three kids and all wanted was one more. She has been nothing but supportive, but it hurts seeing that our family will be growing, but I won't be making the contribution I thought I would.

Phantom: I didn't realize that both embryos had taken. Taking the meds may not have made a difference, but hopefully this next time will work out perfectly. I was watching that Guiliana and Bill show yesterday where there son was born via surrogate and you just knew that their surrogate had given them the most wonderful gift ever. I think what you are doing is so great and I hope that everything works for you in January.

Meli: Let us know how the acupuncture appointment goes. I want to know if it makes you feel any different after or if they suggest you take and herbs or whatever advice she has to offer.

I go in for my second blood test today. Hoping I get a nice drop this week. I found out that the call I got was from the Healthy Start program here. My doctor's office made me fill out some questionnaire and this is how they got my info. The nurse at my doctor's office happened to call me about an hour after the HS people called and I asked her why couldn't they update the information to let them know when a baby was lost. She said they didn't have their number and besides the program was voluntary. No one told me it was voluntary. If I ever get pregnant again I will not fill out the stupid form. Also, I really hate the one nurse who called. She wanted to know why as of Tuesday I hadn't been in for my weekly draw. I told her it hadn't been a week since I went in last Wednesday and I have a scheduled appointment for today. She then went on to tell me not to expect too much of a drop this week. Gee, thanks for crushing my hopes early. Thankfully, she is not the nurse I will be seeing. BTW, this is the same woman who told me that temping can in no way tell you when you have ovulated. That never stopped me and today my temp finally dropped to below pregnancy levels. Hoping things are getting back to normal (whatever that is). Sorry for the long post. Hope y'all have a great day.

 

[angel2010]

Vegas, I am sorry you had to deal with that insensitive nurse. I hope you have a BIG drop!!

Meli, welcome back!

AFM, my temp dropped a bit two days ago. Yesterday it stayed the same. I have also been cramping since the temp drop. I have been expecting my period to start any minute. Today, my temp went back up a little, but I finally started. I thought I would be relieved, but I am not. I am not sure how I feel really. I guess it just goes to show how much your body can be out of whack after a miscarriage. My period has started 34 days from the day I passed the baby. My normal period temps are 96.6-ish today I was at 98.1, so a pretty big difference.

 

[jem77]

I had an appt with my Dr this morning. She doesn't want us to even think about trying again until March. Se wants us to have a meeting with her and the specialist in March to come up with a game plan on how to go on with another pregnancy. I feel gutted. I wanted to be able to try sooner. I will be 36 in March and it scares me to wait. We got preg quickly with DD and also with the one we lost. Not sure why we need a meeting with a specialist. I just want my life back!

 

[StefNJunk]

angel, I know that feeling. It seems impossible to avoid it, too.

vegas, also hoping for a big drop for you!

jem, be sure to let us know what your doctor says today, I'm sure that it's just that she wants to be extra cautious.

How long did you all bleed for? It's been 16 days since I started bleeding, 2 day break last weekend, 12 days since I passed the baby, about 5 1/2 weeks since the baby died. Still passing a small clot here and there, but it's mostly pinkish discharge type stuff, which is exactly how it started. Last time I only bleed for 4-5 days. It seems like this time is lasting forever...

 

[vegasbaby]

Angel: I'm glad AF showed up for you. It shows your body is going back to normal (even if your temps are a bit out of whack).

Jem: If I were you I'd make another appointment to see why your doctor wants you to wait and also why you need to consult with a specialist. March seems like a long time to wait if you don't have to. I'm supposed to wait until six months from when my hcg levels reach zero, but there is an actual medical reason for this (even though I don't plan on waiting six). Again, I'd ask, do a little research and then do what you feel comfortable with. I'm pretty sure my doctor will be peeved if I get pregnant before the six months are up, but if she gives me grief then I will find another doctor and so can you.

Stef: I stopped bleeding about four days after the surgery and then started up again last week at eight days past my d&c. For me it is old brown blood that is sort of grainy (sorry if that's tmi). It is enough for a panty liner, but really only shows up when I wipe. My doctor warned me that I could shed some stuff from the new scar tissue and I guess that is what it is. Just what I need since already having had a c-section, more scar tissue to make my womb even more inhospitable. Anyway it appears to be tapering off, but until I get a real period I doubt this will be over. So annoying. I think the longer the pregnancy lasts the more you bleed. I bled for a good six weeks straight after I had my dd. These are the things no one tells you. Some days I really wish I had been born a man, they have it sooooo easy.

 

[Meli_H]

Vegas,

I had my first acupuncture appt yesterday, but I don’t think I will be going back. PS-I didn’t feel the needles in my tummy, but did feel the ones in my legs, just a little stingy/slight electrical shock type of sensation that stayed around during the treatment).

I explained that I was 10 wks pregnant when I m/c 11/1/12, bled heavily the first 17 days or so, then it tapered down to spotting, until 12/1/12, when I am pretty sure that af arrived. I mentioned that the last 4 days have been very very tiny light spotting. She said that all the bleeding/spotting was not normal and that I should not have been bleeding so long (which is weird, because my dr. said that every woman is different-some bleed for few days, others for a few weeks). She was horrified when I told her that I wanted to TTC as soon as I O, and that I had been dtd. She told me to hold off on trying to get pregnant for at least 3 months (and see her for treatment) while my body heals. She said that her treatments require visits twice a week (at $75 per visit) plus $45 a week for the herb pills (2 types of herbs, 8 each taken 3 times a day-total of 48 pills per day). That’s a total of $195 per week. It’s way more than what I had expected to pay, and it’s out of my budget, especially during this time of the year! Not to mention that the hours she’s open only allow me to make one visit a week without taking time off of work (and I’ve already taken off so much sick and vacation time with all my dr appts during my pregnancy and as a result of the mc). Oh, this is probably insignificant, but most other ladies who have wrote of their acupuncture experiences have shared that part of their treatment included a massage at the end of treatment to help them relax. My treatment doesn’t include massage, so that was the last straw, I said, to h*ll with that LOL! j/k (well, not really).

I’m on CD13 (I think) and so far, no O. Trying not to get worried, because although my normal average cycle is 25 days, I think af came 31 days after my mc, so that would mean that hopefully I will O soon-maybe in the next couple of days (I hope!). I plan to start TTC as soon as O arrives, and if I catch the egg, then it was meant to be. Because I truly believe that if my body isn’t ready, it won’t happen, right?

It sounds like your body is starting to get back to normal now that you see that your temp has dropped to before pregnancy levels! I don’t understand why people have to be so negative. I can (and do) generate my own negative thoughts, I certainly don’t need anybody else, especially a professional, contribute their own, thank you very much Let us know how today’s appt went!

Angel

You sound like me…af started 31 days after my mc. Hopefully we both get back on our regular cycles soon!

Stef

I bled for 42 days--30 days after mc, then af for the subsequent 10 days..hoping you stop bleeding soon.

Jem,

Wow…can’t believe what you’ve gone through. In addition to all the feelings we experience when we mc, to know that possibly something was overlooked, and that your mc could possibly been avoided, I have no words…..so sorry XOXO
Sorry to hear that your dr wants you to wait for at least 4 months from now

 

[vegasbaby]

Meli: Wow! That is a lot of pills, a lot of time, and waaaay to much money. I have a feeling they all would recommend a similar amount of treatment and since insurance doesn't cover it I guess I won't try it. Thanks for the info!

 

[Meli_H]

Meli: Wow! That is a lot of pills, a lot of time, and waaaay to much money. I have a feeling they all would recommend a similar amount of treatment and since insurance doesn't cover it I guess I won't try it. Thanks for the info!

IKR! I guess this is one of the reasons PPO's are better (but they're so much more expensive, which is I have always had HMO's)

 

[angel2010]

Holy cow Meli!!! That is a ton of money. Maybe they say wait longer to get you to pay more.... I wouldn't be going back either!

 

[Meli_H]

Angel,
That thought definitely crossed my mind....so back to 'let's see what happens'.

 

[vegasbaby]

Some non-baby news here if you don't mind me sharing. I got offered a job today. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant with Charlotte (so over three years) and I'm just shocked that I am going back to work. Part of me feels really guilty since I lost my job while I was pregnant and I blamed them letting me go on the fact I was pregnant (I had to travel overseas for my job and was told by my doc no traveling after 23 weeks. I was let go at 24 weeks). So I applied for this job back in early November when I was only seven weeks pregnant and really expected to hear nothing. When they called last week about an interview I was super surprised. Now all I can think about is the fact that I lost this baby, but have now gained a job. Opposite of last time. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as I feel like it is my fault that the baby died because the bigger plan was for me to get a job, when all I really wanted was another baby. Well, I'm sure that is not the case and I am happy that I will be able to work again and contribute financially to the family (we could use it atm). It is just strange how the universe works sometimes. Again, sorry for going on and on.

 

[Meli_H]

Some non-baby news here if you don't mind me sharing. I got offered a job today. I've been out of work since I was five months pregnant with Charlotte (so over three years) and I'm just shocked that I am going back to work. Part of me feels really guilty since I lost my job while I was pregnant and I blamed them letting me go on the fact I was pregnant (I had to travel overseas for my job and was told by my doc no traveling after 23 weeks. I was let go at 24 weeks). So I applied for this job back in early November when I was only seven weeks pregnant and really expected to hear nothing. When they called last week about an interview I was super surprised. Now all I can think about is the fact that I lost this baby, but have now gained a job. Opposite of last time. I feel guilty for having these thoughts as I feel like it is my fault that the baby died because the bigger plan was for me to get a job, when all I really wanted was another baby. Well, I'm sure that is not the case and I am happy that I will be able to work again and contribute financially to the family (we could use it atm). It is just strange how the universe works sometimes. Again, sorry for going on and on.

vegas,

The universe does work in strange ways, doesn’t it? I dont know about your situation, but if I was not working (and not of my choice), quite possibly I would be stressed out. Contributing financially would make life less stressful, and less stress is more conducive to baby making (when you are ready to TTC). I truly hope that this job is a good fit for you, and will keep you busy until you decide to TTC. I know that I welcome any distraction I can get these days!