just a little freaked out. I hate this part.

[LadyHutch]

*sigh* I wish I hadn't tested so early.

With DS, I didn't find out until 9 weeks. We had a MC right before we conceived him, and though my DH was convinced I was pregnant again, I was not. He finally convinced me to test and it was positive. I was 9 weeks.

This time, I knew at 13DPO I was pregnant again. We MC at 6-7 weeks in December this year. Here I am, 4 weeks pregnant, and the waiting game begins. This time, I have 5 weeks to panic more than last time.

So I sit here, worried about every twinge, fart and gurble. Is that twinge a cramp? Is it implantation or am I about to lose another one? I inspect all toilet paper and my underwear with near microscopic precision. I grab my boobs every 5 minutes to make sure they still hurt. And I sit and worry. Will this one make it?

I'm getting older. 38 is not crazy yet, but definitely more risky. And with our history of MC, it just sucks knowing this early. Yeah, I'm glad to know so I can do the things I need to....quit drinking beer, eat better, etc, etc.

I have to keep reigning myself in from allowing myself to get excited. I have to stop myself from picking names or wondering about gender or even rubbing my belly.

I told DH yesterday that this is the last one, whether it sticks or not. Go get the vasectomy ASAP. This is the last one I can emotionally handle.

Gonna be a long 6-8 weeks or so before I start feeling safe. I really hate this part.

 

[taztap]

I am 6 weeks tomorrow and feel the same way.. Had a mc before so I know all about the toilet paper scanning.. Hope it all goes well for you.

 

[LadyHutch]

I am on here this time because I made the decision we aren't telling anyone until 2nd trimester this time. I hate that a lot too. I am trying so hard not to be excited. I don't want to go thru the drama of telling everyone, getting excited every time, then having to tell everyone we lost another one.

So I came here to talk about it. Because I don't feel like telling anyone else =/.

 

[thosevibes]

I hope these feelings pass for you soon or at least ease up A lot of women worry about the same thing, even me and I've only had one miscarriage.

Sending love to you x

 

[pinkcatgirl]

Touch wood, I have had never had a loss but the last 6 weeks have still been unbearably long. The obsessional checking of pants and paper, every pain and twinge. Feelin crappy with nausea then terrified when it eases up. It's horrible. I can't go through it again either!

It must be so much harder if you have had a MC in the past but just try to take one day at a time. Sympathies x

 

[LadyHutch]

I'm very grateful for the support, ladies, thank you.

I just really wish I didn't know yet. That I was still just humming along, happily, believing everything is fine and normal.

Why, oh why, did I pee on that stick? =/


EDIT: Please don't get me wrong. I really want another baby, I am excited to be pregnant again. I just wish I didn't know right now.

 

[jennie22]

Know exactly how u feel I've had 4 mc and I'm the same roll on this first 3 months I can't wait to get to 13 weeks

 

[Littleluce83]

I'm feeling quite blah about it all too. I feel like an awful mummy to be, but I also found out after about three weeks and just keep waiting for horrible things to happen. I don't know why, I guess I don't want to get excited because so much can go wrong. I feel like I'm stuck in limbo, waiting the first 12 weeks out and boy are they taking ages to pass. I keep crying all the time because I'm scared to get attached xxxx

 

[Mummy to be x]

I've had two losses and the last one was at 8 week 3 days so I've been waiting forever to get past that point, I'm not there yet but I'm close, it's awful. It really is a frightening time but you will get through it you need to try think positive thoughts or you will drive yourself crazy, stay strong Hun

 

[AMB1216]

I really hope that this one sticks for you! I never had a mc but I was a complete and total worrier up until yesterday when I heard the HB finally and I'm almost 12 weeks. Try to stay as calm as you can and maybe not think about it because it's not good for you to be stressed Have you gone to see a doctor yet? Maybe with your history they will help ease your mind by finding a heartbeat sooner or giving you a scan sooner than normal, I'm sending lots of positive vibes your way and hoping that this one is the one for keeps. Best of luck Darling.

 

[Dolphinz4]

I also found out super early...at 9dpo! These last couple weeks have taken forever, and eventhough I have never siffered a loss (knock on wood) I am constantly worrying, constantly testing waiting for the lines to get darker, looking for symptoms etc. I cant wait rill we are all in the 2nd trimester and can start enjoying our pregnancies

 

[LadyHutch]

I go on Wednesday, which will put me exactly 5 weeks.


On the good side, my appetite in the past 24 hours went from normal to OHMYGODFEEDME OMG GET UP AT 2AM AND EAT WOMAN!


I can't not eat, its much more powerful than I remember it being. Good sign, right?? =)

And the POAS lines are getting darker. They didn't last time. This time they are every day.

 

[HomeEdMam]

Such a strange time isn't it, wonderful but stressful. My first pregnancy ended in MMC and it broke my heart. I'm so nervous about this pregnancy despite going to have 2 healthy pregnancies after the mmc. Roll on scan eh? X

 

[ela13]

I miscarried in January with my first pregnancy. I'm 36 yo and just got a bfp yesterday at 11 dpo! I'm so excited, but also so completely nervous. These past 24 hours have seemed like an eternity. I'm not sure how I'm going to get through these next couple of weeks without going crazy. I hope I can relax enough to enjoy it!

 

[BabyBlondex]

I know exactly how you feel! With DD I found out 6/7+ weeks which made it go quicker, now this time with DS i found out at 3 weeks, this has been the longest EVER pregnancy, thank god i only have 4 weeks left its driving me insane!!!!

 

[jzgrace]

Ladyhutch, I was feeling the twinges and was worried about ectopic. So I went into the e.r. they did bloods and tvus, they said it was likely the corpus leutum cyst and not to worry. I mean the pain was bad enough to go to the hospital, and I'm glad I did. Because the ultrasound put my mind at ease. There is no way I could have kept my sanity if I didn't go.