just those first few weeks

Discussion in 'Miscarriage Support' started by shell, Sep 14, 2006.

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  1. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    i posted this poem on bounty and haylet b spotted it and said she thought it b nice if i came here and posted it as well.
    when i had my m/c 3 months a go i found 4 different poems i liked so i took a bit from each one and made it in2 one that said what i felt. i then buried my pregnancy test with the poem as i didnt wont to just throw it away.

    how do i say goodbuy... when i didnt get to say hello?
    i wanted to keep you so badly... how do i let go?

    for those few weeks-
    i had you to myself
    and that seems to short a time
    to be changed so profoundly


    i never got to hold you but it breaks my heart to let you go
    the pain and confusion i feel inside
    i cannot explain... i cannot describe.

    when i lost you i lost a lifetimes of hopes,
    plans, dreams and asperations...
    a slice of my future simply vanished over nite.

    you'll be my sunshine in the daytime and the brightest star at nite
    i was blessed to have you briefly.. evan thoe i have to let go
    i wish i knew the reason but i guess i'll never know.

    it wasnt enough time to convince others
    how important and special you were.
    how odd, a truly unique person has recently died
    and noone is morning the passing.

    no 'normal' person would cry all nite
    over a tiny unfinshed baby,
    or get depressed and withdraw day after endless day.
    no one would, so why am i?

    just know our love goes deep and strong
    we'll never forget you never-
    the child we had, but never had,
    and yet will have forever.



    :cry: :cry: :cry:
     
    #1 shell, Sep 14, 2006
  2. HB

    HB Guest

    Thanks for bringing it over Shell

    Is such a gorgeous poem

    **hugs**

    xox
     
    #2 HB, Sep 14, 2006
  3. Miss B

    Miss B Active Member

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    :cry: Thats a gorgeous poem but filled with so much pain hope your doing okay
     
    #3 Miss B, Sep 14, 2006
  4. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    thank you so much, i doing much better now thanks. still have my bad days but i get threw them just gotta stop putting so much pressure on my self to fall pregnant agin.
     
    #4 shell, Sep 14, 2006
  5. HB

    HB Guest

    I feel exactly the same Shell.
    Me and DH were talking the other day, and he said "you are pressuring yourself too much, and you feel like a failure cos you've lost babies, and you think its the most important thing to me....." he then added "I can live without babies, i couldn't live without you"

    Think sometimes we need to think about ourselves more, grieve, and take the pressure off a smidge..... Just never let go of your dreams

    xox
     
    #5 HB, Sep 14, 2006
  6. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    that is so sweet of him to say that to you!!
    and yes im gonna take pressure off just a little bit!! :D
     
    #6 shell, Sep 14, 2006
  7. HB

    HB Guest

    Thought i'd share it with you cos you might be able to relate to it.
    At the moment we're not TTC, but we're not trying to avoid pregnancy.
    Although i am still temping and charting but thats for the consultant not for us.... and must admit the BDing is so much more relaxed now, cos we're not pinning hopes on every little spermie!!! hehe!!!

    xox
     
    #7 HB, Sep 14, 2006
  8. beatlesbaby66

    beatlesbaby66 Well-Known Member

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    oh girlies, massive big snuggly cuddles to both of you...we will all get there and we will all have the babies we so desire, its just mother nature making sure our stork has extra special bundle for us all...
    kisses bxox :oops:
     
    #8 beatlesbaby66, Sep 14, 2006
  9. HB

    HB Guest

    You always say the sweetest thing!!

    xox
     
    #9 HB, Sep 14, 2006
  10. Yummy Mummy Nat

    Yummy Mummy Nat Lennon's Mummy

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    That is a beautiful poem. I was close to tears :cry:

    :hugs: :hugs: :hugs:
     
    #10 Yummy Mummy Nat, Sep 14, 2006
  11. 4evahopeful

    4evahopeful New Member

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    what a lovely poem it really hit home for me. it means so much to me to talk about my lost baby but my fiance won't discuss it as its too soon for him as he's already lost his mother this year in February to cancer. were going to stay away from baby making till we marry in a year which should give him time to grieve for both baby and his mum. we went and put flowers down on his mum's grave on Sunday and put some down for the baby too and asked his mum to take care of our baby for us he seemed really at peace with that gesture and when we get married i'm having a two part bouquet made up for his mum and the baby to be put down after the ceremony so they know that they will be in our hearts on our special day. good luck to you trying to conceive again. xxx
     
    #11 4evahopeful, Sep 14, 2006
  12. HB

    HB Guest

    Awww 4evahopeful.
    Thats such a sweet thing to do with the bouquet!
    I left mine on Grahams grandad's grave.
    I want to go to the baby garden part of the cemetery to put flowers down, i think i need to as part of my grieving process.

    Please post in here about your Angel, we'd love to give you support and somewhere to come and chat

    xox
     
    #12 HB, Sep 14, 2006
  13. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    thank you so much for the lovely things you have been saying and for sharing your stories it is nice to know there someone that understands how it feels, and not just be thinking that i should be getting over it by now!!! althoe noone has said that to my face i know people think it.x :!:
     
    #13 shell, Sep 15, 2006
  14. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    4evahopeful that it such a sweet thing you atr doing and im sure that they will be looking down on you on yr special day. gd luck and baby dust to us all.x
     
    #14 shell, Sep 15, 2006
  15. HB

    HB Guest

    Shell, i miscarried in February, and this time i can't seem to pick myself up from it at all.
    I have been off work on and off since then, and haven't been in work at all since the end of June.
    Everyone heals at their own speed, and i'm like you i feel like people look at me like "you should so be over it by now" but i just can't move forward, am really struggling day to day.

    Lots of hugs for you, we're all here for you if you need to rant or cry or just ramble on

    xox
     
    #15 HB, Sep 15, 2006
  16. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    thanks hayley, im sorry to hear that you having a hard time moving on as well we just got to try and stay positive, things will happen when they ready to and when we least expect it.
    :hugs:
     
    #16 shell, Sep 15, 2006
  17. HB

    HB Guest

    I hope so!!
    Thats why we're not TTC religiously at the moment, more of an if it happens it happens attitude!!

    **hugs**
     
    #17 HB, Sep 15, 2006
  18. Tam

    Tam Mum of 2 - PG with No.3

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    :hugs:
     
    #18 Tam, Sep 16, 2006
  19. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    aww hayley b we get over it in our onw time not that we ever really will, the people that say that dont understand what we going threw.!!
    babydust to us all.x :?
     
    #19 shell, Sep 16, 2006
  20. shell

    shell Well-Known Member

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    y cant people just let us get over it in our own time what do they understand? :cry:
    bad afternoon today sorry
     
    #20 shell, Sep 17, 2006
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