Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

[LoolaXx]

remember I said I was gonna upload my bump picture from last time? This was my 'bloat bump'. I remember putting it in black and white because of my ugly stretch marks

 

[HopingCarter]

I did talk to her Louisa, and that was exactly what happened!! She sent me a PM saying she was going to back off because she felt like she was the most hated BnB member or she didn't want to become the most member based off what she was posting, I'm not sure if just here or on other threads, but like I told her, if I didn't tell you how I felt about your post, why am I calling you my friend or my SSM. I think as an SSM, I should be able to say, "Hey that offended me and this is why it offended me...." How can we call ourselves SSM's if we can't express how we feel to one another. And before I explained anything I said, clear as day, I HOPE YOU DON'T TAKE THIS THE WRONG WAY BECAUSE I THINK WHAT YOU SAID WAS RIGHT!! But what offended me is that she took MY SITUATION and made her point, and I had to let her know that's not how our marriage is. That was all. I did tell her that she would be greatly missed for however long she decides to stay away, but at the end that's her decision. I apologized to her for being offended, but I didn't come at her wrong, at least I don't think I did, and I even said in a post after that I knew she wasn't trying to hurt my feelings, but why should I not have expressed them if that's how I felt. Because I feel like since I said I was offended it upset her when all I was doing was telling her I felt about the post as respectful as possible

 

[Jesssica]

Hi ladys ! I'm jess Louisa's sister. I know she has already mentioned it but I not long ago found out that I'm expecting my 2nd baby and I know a few of you are also expecting . Congratulations I thought I would hop along and join. I hope you don't mind you all seem fab and genuinely lovely. Louisa x

 

[Jesssica]

Ok. I just posted too quickly and not a clue how to change post lol. I was going to say Louisa has filled me in about you all. I would like to think ill fit in but with a 2.5 year old I don't know how often I will post haha! x

 

[LoolaXx]

Jess this is my crazy arse sister guys. I can't believe you managed to sign up without calling me for help!!!

Shara. I am 100% with you and I thought that may have happened! It's right, we aren't true friends or SSM's (Jess- soul sister mates. Our name for our little group ) if we can't be straight up with one another. we should all be able to say exactly what we're thinking without it causing friction or without people feeling they need to leave our thread for however long. I agree, she will definitely be missed and she's a great woman, maybe just worded her paragraph wrong yesterday but I don't think it warrants her to feel the need to go and she definitely isn't hated is she oh kika.

 

[HopingCarter]

OMG Louisa, it is not that bad!!!! you are such a riot! Lowkey, I was thinking of doing the same thing with my bump picks coming up!

 

[LoolaXx]

Hahhaa it was terrible!! and yeah we want to see bump photos! My sister said today how she wants to do weekly ones and then put them all together in one bit picture collage at the end of the prehnancy cute idea. You need to do the same I'm just leaving for work yawn. But we have 3 nurses on tonight so i shouldn't be run off my feet and may be able to post the odd cheeky one

 

[HopingCarter]

OH HIIIIIIIIII Jessica My name is Shara!! It is soooo awesome having you aboard! Just a little sisterly dispute right now, but we're normally engaged in ALL types of convos (I'm sure Louisa's told you already) I must say congratulations on her pregnancy and with your last baby, that's got to be exciting having kids that close in age. I hope I can get that too if it's not twins with this pregnancy.

Well, before I babble on, WELCOME WELCOME WELCOME m'lady! Hope you love it here

 

[Jesssica]

Please dont laugh lol but how do i get the writing under my name like you all have?? wow i am so confused right now. it's just taken me 10 minutes to get back onto this chat. i have some serious learning to do sisters i like the little faces too!

 

[HopingCarter]

Jessica we gotta get you some siggy's! I can't remember how far along Louisa said you were, was it 9 weeks?

 

[tag74]

Ok Shara what did I miss? I must have missed Kika's post. I think from time to time peeps post and it isn't always sensitive but as long as they can speak their mind they have to expect someone to speak their mind back no?

Jess!! Welcome. Louisa is going to have to give you a tutorial!!!

Louisa!! You had a great bump. Yah I had insurance pay for my reduction when I was your age. They were HUGE!!!!!

 

[Jesssica]

Hi shara! firstly i have to say that you and your husband make an absolutely adorable couple . so beautiful! i'm sure i will love it, something like this was what i lacked last pregnancy so i'm really pleased Lou has told me about it. A huge congratulations on this pregnancy Shara. What makes you think twins? very very exciting

 

[LoolaXx]

Aren't they just Jess! I looove shara this woman cracks me up!!! just like they all do. I'm pleased you managed to join. Shara is right you need a sig your name is looking so plain lol

 

[Jesssica]

Hi tara! gosh this is confusing so many posts lol. I'm actually expecting twins. I'm not sure if louisa would have mentioned it or not. I'm due August 29th but booked caesarian for 13th as it always runs earlier with twins as you might be finding out soon! Ok i'm on the case. i'm making a signature

 

[tag74]

Woo hoo for twins!

 

[tag74]

Shara, I just read through pages of posts. And saw the exchange.

So I don't know how old y'all are but I'm 40. I was a single mother after my first marriage and it was a badge of honor. No regrets.

As a new wife and mom of my second child...I agree...you have to have disagreements. And I am not of the philosophy children come first in a marriage. My dad always preached - back up your spouse and the kids will follow suit. And honestly - if you respect your spouse (and even that won't always be perfect), your children will be equally respectful. I think you and Romeo have got it right. Your baby is blessed.

Kika, I do hope you'll return. We all are going through this together. Blood,sweat and tears and all.

 

[HopingCarter]

Exactly Tara, that's what I was saying...It started because Friday I didn't log on because me and my hubby had a run in that we eventually worked out, but Kika told Jodie no one logs in on the weekends and I was just telling them that I do, but with the Super Bowl weekend and the tension me and Romeo were having, I couldn't get around to it, but I went on to tell the story of our issue, out of pure confidence, and this is what she wrote:
.....Shara, from my experience, a lot of ppl think they're ready to become parents but they are not. Mostly men. Evolutionary men are there only until the baby's born and a little after... Marriage works on mutual expectation. If you're ready to settle for whatever because you're not greedy for attention or for progress or just because you're grateful for what you have or think it could be worse and so on --> you'll be fine. If your other half changed and became initiative and selfless and so on--> you'll be fine too. You have all your life to figure it out --> you don't have to decide now.

For ppl who separate it works like this --> in the beginning it worked, it was enough, they settled for what they had, etc; and then they decided they wanted more... Both is fine. There isn't a wrong way. So please don't try to decide now. It's normal that you want the dad to be as excited and as involved as you are. But you are the mother and this baby will always be yours and husbands come and go.

I honestly wish for all of us that we stay with our husbands for the rest of our lives and never have to go through separation. But I also wish neither of us had to settle for the second best or have to compromise over wuality and quantity just do they stay together... And I may sound from but I'm telling you this because once you're a mother it's the baby and baby's best interest that matters the most.

I think for now try to enjoy pregnancy and voice your concerns...and be patient about change but don't be blind or stupid about it either... You'll be fine my dear, one way or another...we'll all be fine. I don't know if this was a good advice letter or a bad advice letter or if it makes sense at all--> pregnancy hormons here too ...

Now after I read this, I thought wth??? this is nowhere near where we were, not even close! So I proceeded to tell her that I was a little offended by those words because I feel like NO woman should go into any marriage, if she has it in the back of her mind that of what she's gonna do once it fails, and I was offended because she chose my situation to make those statements when I don't have those beliefs and she ended up PMing me and saying since I was offended she will be backing off basically

 

[tag74]

Louisa, how sad about your mom's friends daughter. I'm so sorry. Thinking of her.

My cousin just went through that at 20 weeks. The skull and brain weren't fully developed. So tragic!

Shara, you've got a good head on your shoulders girl! xo

 

[HopingCarter]

For the record, my husband is more excited than I Am!!! He wants this baby so bad, he's the one recommended buying a house so that the baby could have a backyard and how he's gonna spoil his little priness and blah, blah, blah, !!!! All I said was we had a lot of pressure and anxiety for having to find a bigger space and of course with my hormones I'm always crying so that's makes him feel bad like he's not doing what he needs to do to make me happy, THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED, nothing more, nothing less. What the hell she read, I don't know, but I was a little upset because she made it bigger than what it was

 

[Jesssica]

I don't know who Kika is obviously but it's sad that she decided go give this forum up because of one incident. if everyone went into relationships with worries of break ups and divorcing then everyone would be single, lol! I'm sorry she hurt your feelings Shara. hopefully she decides to re join here sooner rather than later. it would of been nice to have met you all! did my picture thing work? I don't know if I put it in the right box lol. Gosh this is going to take time! What a confusing website