Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

[Kika7]

Haha, Shara you're so funny and I love you so! I've only haven't told you guys my real name and only...because I've real life friends posting on BnB and I'm more relaxed about expressing my feelings, worries, desires and excitements if they didn't stalk me all the time. You guys are more than a family to me, I tell you everything and anything, I've posted here things no one knows and I think I could tell you each and everyone my real name on messages but wouldn't like it mentioned where everyone could see... I'm 35 and the only thing exotic about me --> is my name

But then I think Shara's name is exotic too and not only her name

Shara what do you work? Or was that the forbidden topic in the beginning?

As for me, I've worked as a child minder and primary school teacher

What about you Jess?

 

[Jesssica]

That is completely respectable Kika I get that makes perfect sense xx
Primary school teacher wow you're a clever bum then aren't you I'm an equine vet nurse however I was taking time off until sofia was at infant school full time (pre-twins) I would feel terrible if I worked full time and barely saw her and this time is important for us to spend as a little family , and obviously now with the twins I won't be going back for a while maybe part time when they're a few months old but I'm not sure , it's all things we will have to work out but yeah spent 3 years at uni for it. Xx

 

[LoolaXx]

Hey my beautiful ladies

So I decided that a days break is enough .. In actual fact this ttc journey is harder without you guys and I decided that I need you all regardless as to what troubles we come across, so a break didn't help at all it was actually horrible. it made me realise how much I really do love you ladies and how much of a support each of you are! It is rubbish how we don't all live within easy reach but what we do have is better than nothing and I think we're all so lucky

Jess I tell you this all the time anyway but i am genuinely blessed to have you as my sister, you're my rock, as are you all really! love you girl and I can't wait to meet these babies

Shara, Kika (&jess) you have been super chatty! go girlies! It's good to see. Shara I'm so proud of you for taking that little bleed on the chin, and not going frantic over it! Way to go!!! You're so right, as long as you're still 'blessed' (if that's the right word) with symtpoms then you know it's all good girl!

Kika I just got super excited reading down those posts thinking I was going to come across a scan picture so I completely feel Shara when she said her finger nearly snapped hahaha same here how bad that they kept you waiting although I guess labour is their priority lol! Monday will soon whizz around honey and you will see that gorgeous little growing bean of yours and hubs!

Tara, sorry to hear about another bfn. I'm literally heart broken for you because I feel you this cycle I really do! But good on you for keeping that positive attitude. We understand if a break would do you some good and i hope and pray that AF stays away.. love ya, lady!

Anyway. Just wanted to say BnB is back as my homepage on my iPhone and I am officially never taking a break again!

Kim, jodie, love you both too.

AFM- I think I miscalculated O... According to some website that predicts O, it's between Friday and Tuesday so I don't know where I got mixed up but I did.. And today I have period like cramps and twinges coming from my right side, so we are literally like rabbits right now

 

[Jesssica]

So proud of you ,
You can do this. I'm behind you we all are and tara too. You've both got this xx

 

[HopingCarter]

Happy belated Valentine's Day beauties!!

Aww Kika I understand! I completely respect that i just wanted to poke fun at you because my ssm's did it to me. And yes, my job prohibits me to posts where I work. They also banned me from using their internet to post here lol...I think it's because of the contract we have with our client. I don't know i just wanted follow the rules.

Anywho, how was everyone's Valentine's Day? Jess did you guys still get the Chinese? We didn't. I ended up pan searing some steaks and shrimp and baked 2 potatoes and just watched a movie...for some reason my appetite for Chinese left the more we talked about getting it lol...life of the pregnant woman eh?

LOUISA!!!!!! I'm so glad your back! Eeeeeeeeeeeee...i just wanna burst with excitement lol. I'm so happy you didn't stay away too long. I was missing you from that one day, imagine any longer lol.
Yay for O!! Go Go. Catch that eggy

 

[LoolaXx]

Shara happy late valentines gorgeous girl! I can't believe I posted yesterday and forgot to say that.. Forgive me lol!! Aw, I missed my girl too!! All of you

That's SOOO strange haha we had steak!!! We were suppose to go out for a meal with the family first but then those plans fell through so me and jesse decided to go to the shop to get loads of junk food and we planned on watching movies (plans are limited when you've got BD'ing duties ) then we came across the meat aisle and there was 3 packs of sirloin-steak for £10 so we froze two packs and jesse cooked us a valentines dinner which was steak potato onion rings tomatoes and then I couldn't resist making some cheese sauce to go over my steak (which I eat with most things btw ) it was nice! And we had a fab BD'ing sesh too ooooh!!! I also finally got a darker test line than the control line on my OPK and I found something kinda interesting out.. I don't know if I mentioned before but the sonographer at my last scan told me that I have a tilted uterus which she said isnt an issue however I read that lying on my stomach rather than back after can maximise chances of making it the full way. I also read that it benefits to feel around whilst bd'ing to find the cervix and make sure that your partners thingy basically pokes it each time (mine is super sensitive around O anyway!) and bless him last night when he did his business, he was pushing so hard trying to force those as far up as he could, it literally made my eyes pop out my head and took my breath away I could of cried it HURT little sh*t! anyway, we have gave BD'ing our all so I hope something comes out of this cycle however I don't have a clue what dpo I am so that's the only issue I won't know when to test

Jess might not post until tomorrow, i had sofia today and took her to see the horses, she had a walk around on saskia it was super sweet. She pulls them around and basically hangs off their tails but they are so soft with her! Horses are unpredictable and potentially life threateningly dangerous animals and normally when a 2 year old comes close to a horse I'd be like BIG NO NO but I'm lucky that saskia use to be ridden by disabled kids in a riding school so I trust her with my life when it comes to my niece. she is a dope on a rope lol. My other 2 not so much. Jess had a midwife appointment today it's so close to her gender scan now!!! and Kim's and shara's and kika's TOMORROW eeeeehhhh!!! You guys pregnancies are keeping me going right now!

Hahaha shara I totally remember when it was just me you and kim on this thread and you just wouldn't tell us where you worked we thought you were a secret agent! either that or me and kim just didn't shut up talking (rofl) but then kika turned into the secret agent now lol I'm only kidding. I completely understand what she said and respect that 100%

Anyway how were all your Valentines days?!?!

Love to you all its good to be back

 

[HopingCarter]

Good Morning Dolls!!! How's everybody!

Kika so excited for you appt today

How did Jess' midwife appt go??

 

[LoolaXx]

It went really well, it wasn't a scan just an appointment for more bloods to run more tests and also to talk more about birth options but I'll let her explain whenever she comes on, sofia is on half term this week so she might not post as much

I also can't wait to hear from kika!!!! SOOO EXCITED

Guys, I feel pregnant. This stems from a long story and I'm gonna sound crazy but I'll explain:
Last night a woman on jesses Facebook who we both went to school with posted a scan picture saying that this is the biggest shock of her life bla bla bla, because she has only just found out at 7 months!!! And then it made something twig because I genuinely look pregnant right now. I have gained weight in the last couple of years as I was always tiny growing up, and obviously the IBS can bloat you and also your fertile period is a bad time for bloating but I do have a bump and I SWEAR to you, I feel something in there. It's ovivously not kicks I don't know if it's gas but it genuinely feels like a full on kick and I don't know what to do ..
I'm scared I'm in the same position as that woman on jesses Facebook although it just can't be! I downloaded a dopler app last night JUST to make sure and you have to rest your phones microphone on your stomach, and the 'babies heart rate' is meant to go up and down but when it stays at the one figure, is when it's found.. And it stayed at 161, so I googled average baby rates and different gestations and 161 fell into the 9-12 week bracket and I FREAKED out!!! I know I'm being stupid and it's obviously not a baby or else I'd have positive tests but then I remembered what kika said when she told us her sister didn't get a positive test until a few months gone ... Paranoid right now! I sound ridiculous I know but it's something that's been in my head for a few weeks now and then when you hear of it actually happening to someone else, wow!

Anyway.. Have a good day girlies xo

 

[LoolaXx]

I swear kika said her new appointment was at 10:30 in the morning so she should of had it by now shouldn't she? It's half 11 there right? Damn time zones!!!

 

[Kika7]

And... NO hb... I'm crushed... Good luck and fingers crossed to all of you

 

[LoolaXx]

Oh my goodness Kika I don't know what to say I'm sat here with tears in my eyes I am so so sorry. I really am oh no how could this happen to you I'm lost for words. Do they know at what point it happened? I wish you were near right now because I would travel to give you the biggest cuddle, I am truly gutted for you. I love you lady

 

[HopingCarter]

NO NO NO NO Kika I'm so sorry honey!! I am sooo speechless and I am soo sorry that you have to go through this. That is terrible. When or if you're ready to talk about hon, we're here! I know this is tough for you because it's tough for us, at least I know it's tough for me to accept! Was there anyway they missed something?? DAMN I am so sorry for you...I love you and you will be in my prayers regardless

 

[LoolaXx]

I wish she was near so we could just cuddle her, so we could be there for her properly don't you? it is beyond hard to accept especially when we all truly believed she was safe this time. I just don't know what to say lost beyond words I really am. I remmeber this pain all too well, we all do.. And I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy so I'm heart broken to think kika of all people, our sweet kika

 

[HopingCarter]

Exactly This^^^^Louisa!!! I'm so hurt for her. I'm just hoping and praying they missed something and that it was mistake. I really wanted her to have her rainbow baby as well did.
Yes, we do all know this feeling TOOO well, and that's why I hurt so bad for her.

 

[LoolaXx]

I hope she doesn't fall down a big hole like I did, and I hope she is surrounded by great people over there (besides hubs) to help her through this I don't like to think of her lonely and breaking at the same time!!! This is truly horrible. Just know that we love you Kika and we are so so sorry

 

[HopingCarter]

I hope she doesn't fall to far either. I know it's devastating especially with how he/she was conceived. Just being made from the least possible scenario was a miracle in itself and I was for sure God was going to give her her rainbow baby now. I'm just so shocked and hurt, and like you said, wish I could just hug her and comfort her because I know it's gutting to go through something so devestating. I hope she is okay

 

[HopingCarter]

My poor baby Kika I'm so sorry lady. I know it's not my fault but I feel so bad that you have to go through that again

 

[LoolaXx]

I feel exactly the same shara! I just feel like I could of helped and prevented it, which is ridiculous because there's obviously nothing we could do but I can't change how i feel right now, I feel bad mainly that I can't comfort her and physically help her I can't imagine the pain right now! It's undescribable and crippling I hope hubs is holding up ok aswell, it's never easy for the men they just don't know what to do or say for the best so I'm thinking of him too. Oh kika I was praying this is your time, after all the pain you have endured you didn't need this. Why oh why my one wish was that none of us SSM's we're gonna have to deal with this again.

 

[fluffet521]

Oh, Kika, bless your heart. I am so very sorry to hear this. My heart is broken, so I know yours is practically beyond repair at this point. I feel absolutely terrible and hate it for you. I can't believe it. We all just knew this was it! There are no words that can take away the pain and suffering I know you are experiencing right now, but please know you are not alone and I love you so very much! All your SSMs do.

Is there any chance of them giving you another appointment in a week or so to confirm? I'm sitting here in shock, tears in my eyes. I really wish we were there with you right now, like Louisa said, so we can cuddle and hug you and just be there for you, helping out however we can. I hate this so much. Sending so much love and prayers your way, sweet friend.

 

[fluffet521]

I have some bad news myself, ladies, but I think we all need time to process and grieve for Kika's loss.

I am absolutely in shock over here. I just knew that LO was here to stay. We all did, for goodness sake. I really hope Kika will be OK. I know Tara is pretty close geographically and had talked about them meeting up. I bet Tara would check on her if she knew how to find Kika. I'm so worried about her, y'all. She's been trying for too long and it just doesn't seem fair that she's having to go through another loss after her conception miracle. I am absolutely gutted.