Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

[LoolaXx]

Aw Kim that's sweet of Shaun to think like that and very wise. Have a lovely weekend at your parents lovely - good luck with the news you're sharing with them!!!

 

[LoolaXx]

Guys where are you all?

 

[tag74]

I'm here! Busy weekend!

 

[fluffet521]

Hi, ladies! I'm back!

Louisa, I don't know if I trust your cheapies, hun. No offense, of course, but the readings they give you are never straightforward. If you don't get that this cycle, you MUST let me send you my leftover Clearblue sticks. You do have to take into consideration, like you said, that you didn't use FMU and hadn't held it for long. But once you get that smiley on Clearblue, you're good to go! No, you would not get one for no reason, my sweet.

AFM, I had an excellent weekend (aside from one hiccup, but I'll tell y'all about that in a minute)! I had dinner with my parents and the one sister who lives in the same city Friday night and they were all so excited. My sister even cried with joy! So their reactions totally made up for my in-laws lack of reactions. It's my family's reactions that mean more to me anyway. I announced to my brother and other sister by calling each of them on my trip to my parent's. They were also super excited and happy for us.

Now for the hiccup. First, so that the story will make sense, I need to tell you that Vince is their super awesome gay uncle, who I absolutely adore. OK...Shaun's sister-b*tch...I mean sister...texted him Saturday. Here's how the beginning of the conversation went:

L: "Have you told Uncle Vince yet? I want to gossip."
S: "Oh, shiz. Thanks for the reminder!"

He then proceeded to text me asking ME to call Uncle Vince to share the news, as he was wrapped up with painting. I immediately called him to remind him that we aren't telling extended family until Christmas at the earliest, and WTH was she talking about by saying "gossip"? We ended up getting into an argument because of course no one in his family can tell the Princess no. I mean, how could he forget that we weren't telling extended family yet? It's like as soon as she asked, he was in such a hurry to please her majesty, he completely forgot! God forbid he make her wait so that she can gossip with Uncle Vince! Ugh! And she wants to GOSSIP??? Our baby is GOSSIP?!?!? WHAT. THE. F***??? And he couldn't straighten her out about that comment? Oh, it burned my ass! He apologized on her behalf (!!!) that she said something so wrong, and apologized for even telling me she said that. He said he never even should have told me. I told him I was glad he did, because that just further proves what kind of person she is. By the end of the argument, he said "I'll take care of it." After I got off the phone with him, I burst into tears to my mom. Why can't his sister just be happy for us? Then he called me back to tell me how the rest of their text conversation went down:

S: "It won't be for a while, anyway."
L: "What won't be for a while?"
S: "When we tell Uncle Vince. Remember, we told you at mom's house when we announced? We're not telling extended family until Kim's in the 2nd trimester, in mid-January."
L: "Boo."
S: "Sorry, Sweets. Remember, mum's the word."
L: "Fine."

I have got to learn to let these things with her go and not to take them so personally. She is obviously unhappy in some aspect of her life and I'm the easiest target. Even though this wasn't directly towards me, it was still an attack of sorts (or at least I took it that way). From here on out, I'm going to try my hardest to practice being a hard ass when it comes to her and strengthen my "shell", so to speak. This is just the beginning, and she's obviously not going to change, so I have to change the way I react and/or the way I let her affect me. I cannot continue to let her have this power over me.

 

[tag74]

The princess sounds completely awful. In good news, what started off rough with DH turned into him doing the right thing. I have learned at 40 - EFF all the people who want things their way. This is YOUR experience, not hers, and clearly they had the opportunity to be excited when you told them. This goes for your doctor appts too btw. I was so young with my first I feel looking back my docs just kind of "poo pooed" me. I even let them brush me off a bit this last baby…and guess what…my intuition was right…Lucy was breach at 38w 3days. They completely didn't catch it. I kept telling them, something wasn't feeling right…it was different than with my first. And then I HAD to get a c-section because it was too late to turn her. I wasn't happy.

So trust your gut with each experience in this pregnancy. You got this! And don't let princess but in.

AND for your family! You're right- that is ALL that matters.

 

[LoolaXx]

Oh Kim.. I feel so bad for you having to deal with that sort of bitterness, it's ridiculous and so is she! I know I have one in my family too, and my cousins, but we don't talk and haven't for a while so they're not my problem all the while we have no contact. What's the betting she goes and ends up getting pregnant so the spotlight can be on her? dumb b*tch!

So I've also had a massive hiccup this morning. A huge-massive one actually. You guys all KNOW how this feels- so I bet it hits a raw nerve as you read it like it did me, because you can all relate to this..

This morning, one of my oldest friends came over for a cup of coffee and a chat. The reason that she obviously wanted to come over was to announce that she's pregnant, 16 weeks!!! I'm so made up for her, she deserves to be happy. Now, we've been close since we were kids, she even lived with me and my family for 4 years after her mum passed away so I didn't understand why she hadn't told me before now, and I guess I had a confused look on my face because of that, but I congratulated her, hugged her, nearly had a little tear with happiness. All of a sudden she asked why I look 'angry'?!?!?! So I'm sitting there like what even are you on about? I said I'm made up for you Grace?! She then shouts in my face 'I know why you can't be f*cking happy for me, because you had 'that' miscarriage that time and you can't get over it, 'the thing' wasn't even a baby!!!' .. Now, if she wasn't pregnant I would have probably swung for her. I couldn't believe what came out of her mouth! She knew how hard it was for me to move on from that horrible time, what with being so young. She picked up her bag and walked out.. I really don't ever want to see the girl again. I've been in tears over it, obviously, firstly because that 'thing' WAS my baby and secondly I didn't think she could be that spiteful. I've always been the one to lend a hand to her throughout anything in her life, like when we(me+my family) offered our love and support for her when her mum died! We did her washing, she ate with us every day, slept here every night, absolutely everything for 4 years. I couldn't have done anymore for her, even when it comes down to being there for her over stupid boyfriend break ups.. and I don't want praise for it from her nor anyone else but just knowing that that's how she feels over me losing the baby absolutely HURTS I just can't believe that even happened this morning. Rant freakin over sorry girls. Xx

 

[LoolaXx]

Oh, and guess what? I drove on my own again for the first time today. Baby steps, baby steps!

 

[tag74]

WOW Louisa! I don't know what to say. I actually read that with my hand over my mouth. I am beyond words…that is such an awful thing to say. I can only think she has very little life experience and until she experiences a significant loss she will never know how you feel.

Maybe in the back of her mind she knew this news could be upsetting since she waited so long, regardless…that is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry on her behalf that she reacted so ignorant.

Don't cry over this. This is life "cleansing" you of people you don't need. You need to be stress free right now…you have a baby to prepare for.

 

[LoolaXx]

I just don't understand that, I really don't the look on my face was probably me trying to think of ways to ask why she didn't tell me sooner but would have made a joke of it and laughed it off. For two people that have always shared EVERYTHING, I did wonder why she waited so long. Even 12 weeks is normally the average time and that wouldn't have been so 'bad'. Ultimately it's up to her completely, this is her time and I respect that, maybe it was because of my mmc that she didn't want to tell me any sooner I don't know but I gave her no reason to say those things, did I? you're right Tara, i clearly don't need people like that in my life! Friends are such an important aspect of life and I've always been lucky to have really great ones but today she proved she isn't one of them anymore! What a good way to look at it

 

[HopingCarter]

I'm so sorry for Louisa!! That B****!!!! I'm a Christian and I don't wanna be so evil, but that hurt MY feelings hearing such nasty horrible words! I can't believe the audacity of some people, especially the ones you help the most. The fact that she could fix her heart AND HER LIPS to say such malicious, vile words! You are one strong lady because the devil probably would've taken over my mind and I would've forgot she JUST told me she was pregnant and I would've knock the hell out of her, NO LIE! I'm still struggling a little with my lost as it only happened barely 3 months ago, so I know my strength wouldn't have been there to resist hitting her, pregnant or not, JAIL here I come I'm trying to understand her side, but I'm not coming up with ANY reason for her to be so mean to you. You and your family will be blessed infinitely for the things you did for her, and even more so considering her blatant disregard for your support. God don't like UGLY, and what she did was UGLY in every sense of the word. I'm so sorry honey. "...for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" Galatians 6:7, and I pray God has mercy on her soul and her baby.

Same with your SIL Kim, people are so heartless and selfish. I hope whatever they are seeking in the midst of hurting you guys, they find the complete opposite.

 

[HopingCarter]

.....Maybe in the back of her mind she knew this news could be upsetting since she waited so long, regardless…that is the most insensitive thing I have ever heard. I am so sorry on her behalf that she reacted so ignorant.

^^^THIS!! And thank you Tara for being so "gentle" because I was completely taken back by it, and I couldn't contain myself. She very well could've premeditated your reaction BECAUSE of what you went through and knew it would be hard for you, and that's probably what took her so long to tell you, BUT that still gives her no reason to belittle your BABY and feel the need to try and make you get over it so you can be happy for her. I don't know her, but she has pissed me off. That's no way to treat the person who took you in when you went through your lost, you would think she understood that

 

[LoolaXx]

You're sooo right shara, I am so insanely crazy right now! I'm not one to argue or fight but I will stick up for what is right, and she was not right!! She is wrong in many ways So I'm proud that I kept cool, because any other time I would have gone for her. Vile animal

 

[LoolaXx]

Thank you ladies so so much genuinely do not know what I'd do without you all. Xxx

 

[HopingCarter]

You're sooo right shara, I am so insanely crazy right now! I'm not one to argue or fight but I will stick up for what is right, and she was not right!! She is wrong in many ways So I'm proud that I kept cool, because any other time I would have gone for her. Vile animal

I'M VERY PROUD OF YOU!!! I know it probably mean much, but I applaud you for your cool and calm demeanor in that hostile situation.

 

[fluffet521]

OK, I am PISSED. And that's an understatement. WHAT is wrong with that girl??? I can't say anything any better than Tara or Shara did, but I am just so ANGRY right now. I gasped aloud reading your post, my mouth was literally hanging open. How dare she? That is one of, if not THE most offensive things I have ever heard someone say, and just like Shara said, it hurt MY feelings, so I can only imagine how terrible you are feeling about it because she was supposed to be your “friend”! And after all the things you and your family did for her, and were there to support her in her time of need and grief, for her to say such a horrible, horrible thing to you? You did not deserve that, no one does, and especially not because you merely had a confused look on your face. Your baby was a baby no matter how small he/she was. There simply is no justification for what she said and how she acted toward you, none AT ALL. I absolutely do not understand how she could have allowed those words to come out of her mouth. I couldn’t have said such hateful things to my worst enemy and this girl was supposed to be your friend??? I wouldn’t want to ever see her again, either. Even though you don’t want it, you and your family DO deserve praise for taking in someone in for FOUR years and basically raising her as one of your own. And then for her to go do something like this? She should be completely and totally ashamed of herself. I like what Tara said about this being life cleansing you of people you don’t need – she is absolutely right. Just like I said about Shaun’s sister, this just goes to show you what kind of person she really is and you don’t need that kind of negativity and sourness in your life, it will just bring you down. I am proud of you for keeping your cool, too, because you don’t mess with a mama’s babies, angel babies included!!! Grrrr!!!

So proud of you for driving for the first time since your accident!!! I bet it was so scary for you. That is a huge step, Louisa! Good for you, honey!

And yes, I absolutely agree with you that Shaun’s sister will end up getting pregnant before I give birth.

 

[fluffet521]

BUT that still gives her no reason to belittle your BABY and feel the need to try and make you get over it so you can be happy for her. I don't know her, but she has pissed me off. That's no way to treat the person who took you in when you went through your lost, you would think she understood that

Sooooo true.

You are one strong lady because the devil probably would've taken over my mind and I would've forgot she JUST told me she was pregnant and I would've knock the hell out of her, NO LIE! I'm still struggling a little with my lost as it only happened barely 3 months ago, so I know my strength wouldn't have been there to resist hitting her, pregnant or not, JAIL here I come

I'm right there with you, girl! Hey, is it OK for a pregnant woman to hit another pregnant woman? If so, I'll fly over to England and teach that b*tch a lesson right now! Although I do hate to hear you're still struggling some with your loss, Shara. I hope you're finding it gets easier with every day. I don't know how I forgot that yours was so recent. Even being pregnant doesn't make me not mourn for the loss of my angel. It'll never not hurt, but I've found that the pain does get easier with time. I hope you will, too, honey.

You and your family will be blessed infinitely for the things you did for her, and even more so considering her blatant disregard for your support.

I couldn't agree more!

God don't like UGLY, and what she did was UGLY in every sense of the word. I'm so sorry honey. "...for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap" Galatians 6:7, and I pray God has mercy on her soul and her baby.

Ooooh, good one, Shara. You are so right!!! I love what you said about God not liking ugly, that was awesome! And so true!

 

[LoolaXx]

I knew you'd all take it as bad as I did, because as I said we all know how it feels and they were all babies no matter how tiny! Still had a heart, a brain, all the things that we have! I called my mum to tell her and she is absolutely fuming - I think mainly because of what we did for her and that baby would have been her grandchild. I need to get to the bottom of it with her, I can't just let it go and she's not going to get away with it. There must have been an underlined problem for her to wait that long to tell me when she told other friends way before then maybe something happened and she took it out on me, I don't know and don't care because I didn't deserve that. Stupid stupid girl!! Jesse keeps asking to call her (he knew her from school like me) he would never get mouthy to a woman but he would not be nice about it so I'm in two minds whether to let him or just go round there myself and ask what the F her problem is. Barbaric thing to say, I will never forget it either I'm just getting ready for work ugh. Not in the mood today! How have your days been? X

 

[fluffet521]

Although you're still hot from her being such an idiot, it'd probably be best for you to speak to her yourself. I can just see the next thing her saying is something about you sending Jesse to take care of your arguments for you or something silly like that. At this point, I don't put anything past her. Such an evil witch, she is!

I'm so so today. Extremely tired and I thought my morning sickness was letting up last week, but it started back up Saturday and hasn't gone away yet. Rest assured, though, I am not complaining in the least! It's strangely comforting.

 

[HopingCarter]

Busy, busy weekend with Christmas and all, and me and Romeo had a falling out, which is all good now, but it was BAAAAAAAAD. I mean we got INTO IT!! Not physical, but plenty of yelling. He SWEARS I am cheating on him because I'm "always on my phone" which sometime I'm posting talking to you guys, or I'm playing a game (Crazy Kitchen, which I LOVE), or I'm looking up info on TTC, like other ladies SS terrors or other women's stories on how long it took to get a BFP after a miscarriage, anything to take my mind off the fact that I was supposed to be going into my 3rd Tri on New Year's Eve and now I'm empty, womb-wise and emotion-wise, and he thinks that I'm lying! He says I pay hardly any attention to him nowadays, I never want to be in the house and I'm always gone and he believes one day I'm gonna wake up and just want to leave him. He says I don't want him for him, I want him to get my baby then I'm gonna leave! WTF!!! .....SPEECHLESS. Even though we made up the next day, those words still echo in my heart that my husband really thinks I don't love him or want to be with HIM! I'm not forcing the TTC process, HE IS the one who reminds me we need to keep trying, HE IS the one who forced this EVERYDAY SEX-A-THON!! HE IS the one that asked me to HAVE A BABY so why would he think I only a baby then leave. You know ladies, I think my hubby is VERY insecure and a little BI-POLAR. I'm always giving back rubs, foot rubs, head massages, "special attention", etc, whenever he wants it, and because I'm online seeking comforting words and inspiration instead of hurting my marriage by bringing it up everyday with a man who already says still so emotional about it, he thinks I'm cheating on him. I had to pull out tons of proof just to satisfy his insecurity, but that is crazy. I would NEVER cheat on my husband. I DO HAVE MORALS, YA KNOW! Sorry I don't like being a homebody, but that's not a reason to accuse me of something like that. He DID apologize, and I chose to forgive him which I won't bring it up, but I won't forget it either.

 

[fluffet521]

Awww, Shara, I'm so sorry to hear about your falling out with Romeo over the weekend. Were you able to calm his fears a little by showing him all the proof? How could he not know you love him with every part of your being?!? Hopefully by you telling him that you're trying to take your mind off missing your little angel, it made him understand where you're coming from. Hearing that can be pretty hurtful, especially when you would never ever cheat on him to begin with! The little "Say Wha" guy you used was perfect. Even we know you'd never cheat on Romeo, just from the way you talk about him on here! I'm glad you guys made up though, but I completely understand you never forgetting it, as I'm sure a part of you will always wonder if he still feels that way.