Just thought i'd explain my journey & say hello!

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fluffet521 said:
Oh, Shara. I'm crying right now. I will honor your wish and not talk about it after this, but just know that I am so sorry such a horrible thing happened to you. I love you very much. :hugs:

As for your dad, I knew he passed but I don't think you'd ever given us the details and I would never ask, but I'm glad you told us. Bless you, my love, you haven't had it very easy, have you? You are so right about how life is precious and can be taken away in the blink of an eye. I am very proud of you for continuing to keep your faith in spite of all that has happened to you. And I'm also very glad you were able to have an unforgettable Christmas with him before he passed. I'm sending love and prayers to you to help you get through this difficult time, as well. :hugs:
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LoolaXx said:
I'm so sorry Shara I would never have asked if I had any idea :cry: now I feel terrible. I didn't think it was possible to feel even worse today but I feel bad right now. I agree with Kim. You haven't had it easy and I'm so sorry for that. :hugs:
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Ladies, Thank you so much. And Louisa, please don't feel bad. You didn't know. I know we're FF SSMs, and you guys know I love you, but that's a part of my life that I don't like to reveal. I have found out that some people look down on kids who were abused because they think that that child will turn out to be a vengeful and vile and misguided, so instead of helping they turn their backs, and so I chose to keep that part me away from public eye, but I didn't let those things make me who I am. With God's help, I was so determined not to become a statistic and try and walk through life with confidence, no matter the odds against, and trust me the odds were EXPONENTIAL lol! But meeting people like you lovelies in life has helped with a lot of my healing and empowerment, so don't feel bad at all. That was the past and that's where it's going to stay.
 
Well that's exciting!!! Let's hope that's what it is!! And Shara's right, implantation is usually 9-12 DPO! I'm trying not to get too excited, but I can't help it!
 
HopingCarter said:
Ladies, Thank you so much. And Louisa, please don't feel bad. You didn't know. I know we're FF SSMs, and you guys know I love you, but that's a part of my life that I don't like to reveal. I have found out that some people look down on kids who were abused because they think that that child will turn out to be a vengeful and vile and misguided, so instead of helping they turn their backs, and so I chose to keep that part me away from public eye, but I didn't let those things make me who I am. With God's help, I was so determined not to become a statistic and try and walk through life with confidence, no matter the odds against, and trust me the odds were EXPONENTIAL lol! But meeting people like you lovelies in life has helped with a lot of my healing and empowerment, so don't feel bad at all. That was the past and that's where it's going to stay.
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I really am so proud of you, Shara. You are a strong woman and should be proud of yourself, as well. I admire you for your strength and determination, and am so glad I know you and that you are my SSM! I am truly glad to call you my friend. :hugs:
 
LoolaXx said:
Implantation symptom I mean
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Yes my dear it is! I am a living witness. I know every woman is different, but I told you ladies with my Angel I had shooting cramps which made me think I was getting my period, and because I have a 14 day luteal phase it was really close to that time (don't know that exact dpo because at that time I was tracking) so I just knew AF was on her way, but NOPE, I was preggo! I don't want to count you out is all I'm saying! I'm praying you get a Xmas Miracle!!!
 
fluffet521 said:
...I really am so proud of you, Shara. You are a strong woman and should be proud of yourself, as well. I admire you for your strength and determination, and am so glad I know you and that you are my SSM! I am truly glad to call you my friend. :hugs:
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:cry::cry::hugs::friends: Same here! I'm so blessed to know you ladies, even our two new Soul Sister Mates Kika and Tara. Life has a funny way of putting the right people in your path when you need them most, and most of the time they don't even know it! That's how I feel about you ladies. Losing my first baby was a big crush on my heart, but just from talking with you guys and having the moments that we have, has played a big part in me dealing with it with positivity. Some of the ladies have been trying a lot longer than me, so I feed off their strengths with that honestly lol.
 
Shara if I was near you right now I would honestly give you the biggest hug. You are absolutely admirable and I do admire your attitude and strength! I do not blame you for wanting to leave it in the past, that IS where it is better left but I just love you for being you and although none of us know each other personally, I'm so proud of the way you turned out despite your past - brave brave lady <3

Aw thanks girls .. You've made me feel much better atleast! Even if it doesn't turn out to be implantation. It has come back a few times, mainly when I stand up! It's really odd :shrug: personally I thought Implantation was earlier than this (Kim yours was, wasn't it?) but I'll take it if it is! :happydance:
 
Louisa!!! I had same shooting burning sensation with my angel so def implantation!!! Just wait patiently couple days and test at 12dpo at the earliest!

Shara, Louisa, Tara, Kim, im sorry for your losses around the holidays :/ but Shara is right, let's put the past behind and focus on the now.

I'm very uncomfortable with the word shara used so I'll say my first time was agaist my will in the part and done to me by a stranger. I've never told anyone about it until 2 years ago when I did my masters and all my university lecturers were also psychologists cause that was the subject I studied right and I was able to write anonymous note about it and pass it to one of my teachers during tuition seminar practice thing. And now I share with you guys. It was a week before my 19th so I wasn't as fragile as shara but the problem was I kinda felt like it was a punishment sent to me for something bad I did (I kissed a friend's bf) in the past. I never told anyone though my mom had found my clothes all torn and ragged and muddy and dirty and stained with you know what and she tried to ask me and talk to me but I denied and told her I don't want her to ever mentioned it again or to think about it. I was old enough to get tested for STI right after the accident and I never talked about it and I prefer it that way. I then had sex with a bf with whom I was i. A relationship for 4 years, then my husband (10) years and now my oh ...
 
Kika7 said:
Louisa!!! I had same shooting burning sensation with my angel so def implantation!!! Just wait patiently couple days and test at 12dpo at the earliest!

Shara, Louisa, Tara, Kim, im sorry for your losses around the holidays :/ but Shara is right, let's put the past behind and focus on the now.

I'm very uncomfortable with the word shara used so I'll say my first time was agaist my will in the part and done to me by a stranger. I've never told anyone about it until 2 years ago when I did my masters and all my university lecturers were also psychologists cause that was the subject I studied right and I was able to write anonymous note about it and pass it to one of my teachers during tuition seminar practice thing. And now I share with you guys. It was a week before my 19th so I wasn't as fragile as shara but the problem was I kinda felt like it was a punishment sent to me for something bad I did (I kissed a friend's bf) in the past. I never told anyone though my mom had found my clothes all torn and ragged and muddy and dirty and stained with you know what and she tried to ask me and talk to me but I denied and told her I don't want her to ever mentioned it again or to think about it. I was old enough to get tested for STI right after the accident and I never talked about it and I prefer it that way. I then had sex with a bf with whom I was i. A relationship for 4 years, then my husband (10) years and now my oh ...
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Sorry for the brash word usage, I guess I could've put it a different way, but to say the least I am so sorry you had to go through that. I'm glad you had the chance to tell your story and get it off your shoulders though. I'm happy just knowing you too were able to move past it.

Oh yeah, I did try out the Lunear Fertility prediction, but for some reason like from Dec 2014 - May 2015, it didn't give a gender, it just gave a small horizontal line whereas the other months June 2015-Dec 2015
show the gender sign, :shrug: who knows I probably screwed something up lol...but it was fun to know when I could possibly try for boy or girl!
 
Aw, Kika, honey. I'm so sorry that happened to you, too. I am really at a loss for words. It disgusts me to hear that this has happened to you AND Shara, it's just not fair. I'm proud of you, too, for moving on and living your life in spite of such a terrible thing happening to you. Sending you lots of love and prayers, too, my sweet. :hugs:
 
Oh kika ... I know it wasn't my fault as I didn't know but never the less I feel terrible and sick to my stomach to think that you girls have been through that sh*t... It was meant to be a fun question and I'm just sorry. :(
 
Back to those sharp cramps though, I haven't really had any since earlier but had some beige colour creamy discharge earlier.. Not sure if that's the first stage of AF on her way although I don't normally get that it's normally pink tinged :shrug:
 
I think I'm probably out! I just went to pee and when I wiped there was clear CM tinged an off pink colour ... I wouldn't be surprised if she's here by the morning unless that's IB as I wasn't actually due on until Christmas Day... Wishful thinking :thumbup:
 
LoolaXx said:
personally I thought Implantation was earlier than this (Kim yours was, wasn't it?) but I'll take it if it is! :happydance:
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Louisa, you're right, my IB started earlier (4 or 5 DPO, I think), but mine wasn't "normal", so to speak because I also spotted for a crazy number of days in a row (like 10 or something). I'll have to check back in my chart to see about both, but typically implantation is between 9-12 DPO like Shara said. It takes a while for that fertilized egg to travel to it's final burrowing spot! ;) And my IB almost always had a brown tinge to it. Pinkish brown, reddish brown, etc. Not that we can or should compare mine to yours because it can always be different. I'm just getting really excited for you and super hopeful this is your month, love! [-o&lt;
 
Thanks my dear :hugs: I would love if you're right! But I do feel like the witch is coming tbh. I hope it could be something different, obviously. But right now I'm not sure but I'll be intrigued to see what the morning brings in terms or any blood or not! Really really hope not :D I want it for shara, Tara, kika and I soooo badly so we can join you Kim!!! I'm so so desperate, beyond belief :nope: I would do anything, I think we all would <3
 
Happy Christmas Eve my beautiful ladies <3

I'm sure I'm out .. Now this is strange. I've had no cramps at all besides those burning sensations yesterday. I woke up this morning, peed (didn't test for once!) and wiped, and there was a small bit of browny red blood which looked quite thick but after that it was just enough to tinge the paper light brown but no visible blood, so I'm pretty sure AF is here a day early. I haven't had the same cramps as I normally get on CD1 though, so that part is strange :shrug:

Enjoy today if you have anything planned :hugs:
 
Merry Christmas Eve Ladies......

Louisa, that sounds a lot like IB, unless you've had that type of bleeding before AF normally. I'm gonna still keep my FX for you. :af::af::af:

Don't have anything planned today, just watching movies with Romeo, who btw thought it would "nice" to watch The Purge: Anarchy lol...gotta love 'em!
 
Merry Christmas Eve to you ladies, as well. Surprisingly, I'm doing OK so far today. I mean, considering the fact that I might've been in labor or close to it. Or I could've been one of those rare first-time mommies that delivers early, and could've been holding my sweet little one right now. :cry: I'm down, but I haven't cried yet. I think having Peanut with me helps.

However, thinking about my angel makes me worry more than usual about Peanut. I'm trying to be positive, but I keep thinking about how my angel was gone weeks before I even knew, and what if that's what has happened to Peanut since our last appointment? I anxiously await our next appointment on January 7th. Even then, though, I'll only be 12w5d and something could still go wrong. What am I saying? Something could still go wrong later in my pregnancy, too. I just keep praying that God wants me to have this child and that he/she will be healthy and whole.

How far along were you ladies when you lost your angels? Shara, if I remember correctly, you were 11w+ and Louisa, you were 9w? Ugh, I'm only 10w5d now and it's killing me. I just want to get to the 2nd trimester so I can breathe a little easier. My loves, I need hugs and encouraging words, please. :( The tears are not far.
 
HopingCarter said:
Louisa, that sounds a lot like IB, unless you've had that type of bleeding before AF normally. I'm gonna still keep my FX for you. :af::af::af:

Don't have anything planned today, just watching movies with Romeo, who btw thought it would "nice" to watch The Purge: Anarchy lol...gotta love 'em!
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Louisa, I agree with Shara. If that kind of bleed is not typical for you before AF, it's more likely to be IB. I'm seriously not trying to get your hopes up, but with your lack of usual pre-AF cramps and all...I can't help but think... And I am so proud of you for taking a day off from testing! Do you feel better about it today? I just think testing every day and getting a BFN can really get you down day after day after day. Super proud of you, hun.

Shara, I actually really want to see that movie. Are you and Romeo both off work today? That's really nice. I'd love to snuggle on the couch with Shaun and watch movies today, but we're both at work. After work, I'll be wrapping gifts while he goes out shopping. :wacko:
 
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