laurenelyse
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- Joined
- Dec 27, 2013
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- 10
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Hello ladies,
I've been lurking for a few weeks, taking heart from other people's journey's, but I'm so frustrated right now I needed a place to rant.
My DH and I have 3 beautiful kids. Each and every one is a miracle, and I'm incredibly grateful. My DD #1 was born at 30 weeks due to unexplained preterm labor. She is now 16, very healthy, and as happy as any teenager can be. My DS was full term, after many years of infertility and an ultimate diagnosis of PCOS. I had a lot of bleeding during my pregnancy and spent most of it on bed rest, but he is now a perfectly normal 10 year old. My DD #3 was a complete surprise. I was breastfeeding, not having regular periods, and I think we DTD once that month. I had a great pregnancy with her, but I went into labor at 29 weeks due to an unidentified infection. She had no lasting complications, and just turned 8.
We never quite felt like our family was complete, and we spent many years talking about it. I had MANY conversations with my OB, who was always very supportive of my decisions. She never saw any reason not to try again, as long as I was carefully monitored. 3 years ago my IUD came out and for a while it was NTNP, but for the last 16 months we've been actively TTC. I knew it wouldn't be an easy journey, with my PCOS, and being over 35 when we started, but I felt like I would always regret it if we didn't try. It was such a deeply personal decision for us that we haven't shared it with anybody and it's getting to be a pretty lonely road.
While my OB is nice, she doesn't really do anything fertility related, and my GP just tells me to talk to her when I bring it up. Last month, I finally harassed my OB into referring me to a RE, and I had my first appt. this morning. It's been years since I've had any CD3 blood work, and my DH has never had an SA, so I was looking to start with the basics. If his count was off, my OB thought IUI might be a good option for us. I was feeling so hopeful that we might finally get some tests done, even if they didn't show a whole lot. At least I could rule some things out. Imagine my surprise when the RE spent a total of 5 MINUTES with me, and he told me based on the history I'd given the nurse that I could either make peace with only having 3 or go straight to ICSI/IVF. Those were my only 2 options. Every time I tried to speak, he cut me off. He refused to consider clomid or femara on the slim chance of multiples, he glossed over my PCOS and said we were dealing with MF because we'd been trying so long. WTH? No sense in checking my tubes because they aren't needed for IVF. Huh? Blood work doesn't matter because my charts say I ovulate. Um, okay. He implied I shouldn't even be trying on my own in case I get twins. Then he tried to placate me by telling me 3 of his 6 kids were IVF babies. Like I gave a shit at that point. I don't even know how much that would cost, because they were too busy to discuss it with me. They'll just send me a letter. Gee, thanks.
Realistically, we just couldn't afford IVF anyway.
I got in my car and started yelling I was so mad. I have jumped through every hoop I can find to make this happen, and no one wants to cooperate. I take supplements and vitamins to try and control my PCOS. I begged my GP to give me thyroid meds based on my symptoms, and not my bloodwork (which he did), I've done acupuncture, meditation, charting up the wahzoo, bd'ing when I'm sick, when I threw my back out and couldn't walk, when I had to beat my DH upside the head because he was too tired, and I could build a house with all the sticks I've peed on. I've gone through clinical depression and anxiety, been on a dozen anti-depressants along the way, and searched my soul to make sure this was what I really wanted. And now I feel like crap, like I'm a bad person for wanting this, and worse, like I'm stupid. I know all the risks, I've done so much research it's coming out my ears, and all my doctors just want to pat me on the head and send me on my way. Sooo frustrating.
Just had to get all that off my chest so my DH doesn't come home to a madwoman.
I've been lurking for a few weeks, taking heart from other people's journey's, but I'm so frustrated right now I needed a place to rant.
My DH and I have 3 beautiful kids. Each and every one is a miracle, and I'm incredibly grateful. My DD #1 was born at 30 weeks due to unexplained preterm labor. She is now 16, very healthy, and as happy as any teenager can be. My DS was full term, after many years of infertility and an ultimate diagnosis of PCOS. I had a lot of bleeding during my pregnancy and spent most of it on bed rest, but he is now a perfectly normal 10 year old. My DD #3 was a complete surprise. I was breastfeeding, not having regular periods, and I think we DTD once that month. I had a great pregnancy with her, but I went into labor at 29 weeks due to an unidentified infection. She had no lasting complications, and just turned 8.
We never quite felt like our family was complete, and we spent many years talking about it. I had MANY conversations with my OB, who was always very supportive of my decisions. She never saw any reason not to try again, as long as I was carefully monitored. 3 years ago my IUD came out and for a while it was NTNP, but for the last 16 months we've been actively TTC. I knew it wouldn't be an easy journey, with my PCOS, and being over 35 when we started, but I felt like I would always regret it if we didn't try. It was such a deeply personal decision for us that we haven't shared it with anybody and it's getting to be a pretty lonely road.
While my OB is nice, she doesn't really do anything fertility related, and my GP just tells me to talk to her when I bring it up. Last month, I finally harassed my OB into referring me to a RE, and I had my first appt. this morning. It's been years since I've had any CD3 blood work, and my DH has never had an SA, so I was looking to start with the basics. If his count was off, my OB thought IUI might be a good option for us. I was feeling so hopeful that we might finally get some tests done, even if they didn't show a whole lot. At least I could rule some things out. Imagine my surprise when the RE spent a total of 5 MINUTES with me, and he told me based on the history I'd given the nurse that I could either make peace with only having 3 or go straight to ICSI/IVF. Those were my only 2 options. Every time I tried to speak, he cut me off. He refused to consider clomid or femara on the slim chance of multiples, he glossed over my PCOS and said we were dealing with MF because we'd been trying so long. WTH? No sense in checking my tubes because they aren't needed for IVF. Huh? Blood work doesn't matter because my charts say I ovulate. Um, okay. He implied I shouldn't even be trying on my own in case I get twins. Then he tried to placate me by telling me 3 of his 6 kids were IVF babies. Like I gave a shit at that point. I don't even know how much that would cost, because they were too busy to discuss it with me. They'll just send me a letter. Gee, thanks.
Realistically, we just couldn't afford IVF anyway.
I got in my car and started yelling I was so mad. I have jumped through every hoop I can find to make this happen, and no one wants to cooperate. I take supplements and vitamins to try and control my PCOS. I begged my GP to give me thyroid meds based on my symptoms, and not my bloodwork (which he did), I've done acupuncture, meditation, charting up the wahzoo, bd'ing when I'm sick, when I threw my back out and couldn't walk, when I had to beat my DH upside the head because he was too tired, and I could build a house with all the sticks I've peed on. I've gone through clinical depression and anxiety, been on a dozen anti-depressants along the way, and searched my soul to make sure this was what I really wanted. And now I feel like crap, like I'm a bad person for wanting this, and worse, like I'm stupid. I know all the risks, I've done so much research it's coming out my ears, and all my doctors just want to pat me on the head and send me on my way. Sooo frustrating.
Just had to get all that off my chest so my DH doesn't come home to a madwoman.
, I so wanted to give my partner a child of his own and was looking forward to being able to enjoy the baby years. with my first two it was straight back to work and i didn't really enjoy them or appreciate them as I should have done
)
I'm doing acupuncture, herbs, and a clean diet. I had one miracle a few months ago but miscarried. Since then my body hasn't done a thing; I don't usually ovulate on my own. 
Good luck with your results and pleased you have found another RE, I really wish we had done more in the beginning and looked for help while my age wasn't such a factor. Don't lose hope you have many years left yet!!
you all sound amazingly strong with what you have been through in your journey to have children.
