*Knock knock* I think I'm allowed back in here now!! Looking for a buddy!

[New Mrs W]

Hi! We're ok here. The first few nights at home were horrific. Mickey literally wouldn't sleep at night unless held, i was pretty much feeding and holding him all night. He might go down at about 5am but then of course Frankie write be awake and ready to go by 7 so things weren't ideal. By day three, Mickey has lost 9.2% of his body weight, 10% being the most they can loose without alarm bells ringing. He wasn't weeing very much either, despite bring at the breast so much. I knew something want going well with the feeding, we resorted to giving him two bottles on Monday night. so rung the midwife who sent out their breast feeding advisor. She was lovely and helped a lot. Mickey is screeching himself most of the time, although not always. His latch is good. I didn't have him in three optimal position so we worked on that. But he just doesn't seem to nurse for very long or for quality period of time. anyway, she suggested that we keep going, using the tips she gave me (which sometimes work and sometimes don't) but to supplement each feed with Assn ounce or two of formula or EBM. Bought an electric pump on Tuesday and managed to pump 1.5oz that day. Inky managed 1oz yesterday we have to feed him this supplement from a cup and it allows him to use the same technique a he would if he were breastfeeding. So, at the moment i put him to the breast when he's hungry. He might be on for 45 mins on and off. During that time, i think he gets about 8 minutes of actual feeing. The rest of the time he's either falling asleep, being reattached, being winded or else he's crying and kicking off as I'm trying to attach him. Then, it might take another half hour to feed him two ounces from the cup. Honestly, we both end up upset and stressed. I am beginning to wonder who i am breast feeding for. Mickey is pretty much being formula feed as i can't express enough to supplement him on EBM alone and i have know idea how much/little he is getting from me. Mickey gets upset at most feeds, so I'm sure he must dread each one. I think l Lloyd is starting to get feed up with it, be is being so supportive and keeps reminding me of what the specialist told me and he is doing some of the cup feeds but i think he thinks it would be easier (and we would be happier) if w fed differently. And i hardly see Frankie. It takes so long for each "feed" and it is Lloyd who is his primary career right now. I'm still doing his meals with him, but even then i find that one our the other of us end up upset at most meals because i am so tense, tired and wound up. I am going to a baby cafe today, run by a lady who advises paediatricians on infant feeding. I guess if she can't help, no one can.

Well done if you manged to read all that. x

 

[Bec27]

Oh bless you Ruth, it sounds like you're having a really hard time of it. With all that difficulty on top of hormones and recovery from just having had a baby you must give yourself a break, you're doing your best and under the circumstances I think you're doing brilliantly. So many would have given up with breast feeding by now. And even if you still do go on to give up there is no shame in that and you mustn't feel guilty, you've done your best and you need to do what is right for you and Mickey- whatever that means. I know my DH would be saying the same as yours and I can see why when he sees you both so stressed and upset.

We agreed DH would mainly care for Josh and I would concentrate on Jake. It works well and I make sure I spend some quality time with josh each day doing something fun but things are obviously different at the moment. Don't feel bad you're not doing as much with Frankie, he'll be fine and it's only temporary while you're getting through the newborn stage- which let's not forget is hard enough when it's your first let alone when you have a toddler as the opportunity to 'sleep when they sleep' is not an option.

Good luck at your appointment today, I really hope she helps. We're all here anytime for you. Lots of love x x x

 

[JenJen80]

Hi Bec. I know how you feel about the feeding Martha fed from 10.30pm - 1.30 am this morning!!!! I'm still on the sofa but today I have decided to get tough with the moses basket and currently she's sleeping in it but on her side in a gro bag if it works i'm sticking with it.

Hope you get things sorted with Josh soon it must be hard work with two.
I have the moby wrap but haven't used it yet I keep putting it on but never putting Martha in it/

Pleased that Jake is gaining weight Martha is being weighed this morning.

OH Ruth you poor thing sounds like a tough time for you. BF is very hard and I've had days where I just want to give a bottle. But like Bec said don't feel bad if you have to give up x

 

[New Mrs W]

Hi girls. Quick update. We are still breast feeding with top ups. Mickey is gaining weight, slower than we would like. He was weighed today at 13 days and is still 4% off his birth weight. I feel ok about this though as he is putting weight on and the feeds certainly seem to be getting easier. The lady at the breast feeding cafe was fabulous. She thought at first that he was tongue tied because of how he was latching. After having a poke around in his mouth she said he wasn't tied but did have a lot of tension in his jaw which she felt was coming from his skull. She said it's very common for newborns due to the pressure in their heads during birth, but that most cases go unnoticed. She also said it would correct itself within a few weeks but that it was affecting his latch due to it hurting him she recommended that we find a cranio osteopath who might be able to help. She also gave me some excellent feeding tips and asked us to come back again this week. We had our appointment with the osteopath on Monday. He was a lovely man who gently put small amounts of pressure on Mickey's skull and jaws. Mickey slept the while time and seemed very relaxed.

Using the tips the lady gave me has resulted in Mickey latching on much more easily and feeding for much longer periods of time (I was struggling to get him to stay on for more than 5 minutes before, now he can go for more than 20 minutes so I know he's getting a much better feed). I don't really know if the osteopath has helped his feeding as of yet, but since he had the treatment he gas been sleeping much better at night! He is having his last feed at about 11, then going until 3.30/4.00am, then waking up three hours later for another feed and then sleeping again until 9.30 is which is when we get up for the day. I feel like a different person because of this extra sleep and I am much happier that the feeding is going well. The only thing is that I'm still not being the mummy I want to be to Frankie. Is not so bad just now as his Daddy is still home but he has only 1.5 weeks of paternity leave left. I guess we'll just have to see how it goes then.

Hope you're all ok xx

 

[JenJen80]

I'm so jealous Ruth. I'm still on the sofa sleeping and all Martha does is feed. She hardly sleeps in the day and wakes the minute I put her down. I was so fed up last night I was seriously thinking of giving up BF.

Feeling slightly better today OH gave Martha some expressed milk this morning but she still comes back for more.

 

[JenJen80]

By the way Becs and Ruth I've yet to see pictures of your babies

 

[New Mrs W]

Stick with it Jen, you're nearly a month in, things will start to get easier really soon and you'll be so proud of yourself. I gave up BF Frankie after a couple of weeks after overhearing a stupid student doctor saying that as he was loosing weight and not pooing that he suspected he might have cystic fibrosis. That scared me so much and i was desperate to prove that he could poo and gain weight so i put him on the bottle. He promptly pooed and gained weight well but i felt so guilty for months afterwards and honestly nearly succumbed to PND as a result. That said, you've given her such a great start with a month of breast feeding that you would have no reason whatsoever to feel guilty if you do choose to give her a bottle. Maybe you could do a bit of both?

Things are going so much better here. I think I've been blessed with another good sleeper. I'm giving him his last feed at about 11.30 and the last two days I've had to wake him at about 4.30 am for another feed!! Once he's been signed off by the midwife I'll leave him to sleep, but while we're still trying to get weight on him i don't mind waking him to feed.

The midwife has just been and he's gained again today, he's now 8lbs 1oz so only 4oz off his birth weight. She's asked us to go to three drop in centre on Weds afternoon for his next weigh in, do she's clearly happy that everything is going ok. Hopefully we can have that last 4oz back on by then and we can be signed off. We are a much happier family just now!!

I will try and post a pic, it will mean having to go on my laptop as my phone never seems to allow me to post pics for some reason. I'll try this afternoon xxx

 

[JenJen80]

We had a break through last night and she slept in her moses basket and I slept in my bed. She's still waking every 2-2 1/2 hours but it's better than the sofa. Then today she has been a nightmare since she woke up and has constantly fed from me again and won't settle!!

 

[JenJen80]

Hi all hope things are well. We have had a very tough week with Martha not settling at all on me or anywhere. I was at the end of my tether as I couldn't even go to the loo without her screaming the house down. Turns out the poor thing has thrush and after some drops from the doctors yesterday she is already much better. On the plus side she's been so exhausted she's been sleeping very well at night.

 

[New Mrs W]

Aw poor Martha, good news that it's been spotted and is getting sorted now. Hopefully this will improve her sleeping, and yours!

Good news here, Mickey now weighs 8lbs 6oz, so he is above his birth weight and we have finally been discharged from the midwife! I feel so relieved and proud of myself and my boobs!! Lloyd is back to work on Monday and so I'm going to try to get into some sort of routine with my boys. Kind of looking forward to it to be honest.

Hope all is well with Josh and Jake, Bec.xx

 

[Bec27]

Hi ladies, all is good here thank you. It has been pretty crazy since DH went back to work but I am finding somewhere to go with the boys every day and am loving life with 2 I don't get a lot of time to myself- had one hour yesterday when both boys were down asleep so used that to do as much housework as poss! Jake was 12lb 11oz last week- so gaining weight beautifully! I have also struggled with putting him down Jen as he seems to hate all the baby chairs we have, has a lot of problems with wind and just seems to want to be cuddled all day- obviously I can't do that so it has been tricky.

How is Martha's thrush now, I hope it is better. How are your boys Ruth, hope you're settling into a routine nicely. How are you finding it with DH back at work? So pleased Mickey has been doing better with his feeding and that you've been discharged from the midwife- excellent news

Well Jake has finished feeding so I'd better try putting him down and going back to bed

 

[JenJen80]

Hi Bec, The thrush is better thank you luckily I didn't get it too bad she is still on drops which she hates taking.

Glad she's not the only one who doesn't go down in the day she rarely sleeps in the day either but I can't complain as she does 6 hours at night now in one go.

We also try to go out most days and have met some lovely mums at the post natal group.

Martha is still feeding all the time during the day and it can be quite draining.
Can't believe she is nearly 6 weeks old.

Hope you are ok Ruth too.

 

[New Mrs W]

Glad all is well with you ladies and babies!!

Lloyd went back to work yesterday which i was dreading but my Mum came down and helped me to sort the house out which was a big weight lifted of my shoulders!!

Mickey is lovely but we are still struggling with his weight gain. He has surpassed his birth weight now (although not by much) so we've been signed off by the midwife but hv came yesterday to take all his measurements and he's stayed the same weight since Wed. I was having to give top ups after feeds before hand and was gaining weight nicely but once we were signed off i stopped that which makes me think he isn't getting enough from me. He feeds constantly during the day and three hourly at night but during the day he often falls asleep after 10 mins or so and the hv thinks he's not getting enough of the fatty hind milk, which means he's not getting the calories he needs to gain weight. Anyway, we have an appointment with a lactation specialist at ten so fingers crossed she can help. I'm going to keep going to the six week point and if there's no improvement in his weight gain i will try combi feeding, maybe just a bottle at night and one in the morning. We'll see. Otherwise he is starting to be really alert and awake for longer periods of time during the day, and gave me his first smile yesterday! Xx

 

[JenJen80]

Hey how are we all doing? Can't believe that Martha is 7 weeks old now the time is flying by . She's still a nightmare in the day as she won't sleep and constantly cries. I spoke to the HV about it and she said it could possibly be reflux but when I saw the doctor she wasn't worried at all .

On the plus side she sleeps 9.30 - 5.30 at night so not all bad but I'd love to be able to put her down in the day and get on with stuff.

 

[New Mrs W]

Wow, that's a great night time sleep!!! Last night Mickey slept 11-5.20 which is the longest he's slept. He usually does 11-4 ish which is good but hoping that last night was the start of better things. He's the same during the day as Martha by the sounds of it. He will be put down if he's awake and full but it's never for longer than about 30 minutes. He will only sleep during three day if he's being held, and most of the time it's just cat naps. He will have a big sleep of a couple of hours at least once a day but the rest of the time he is pretty exhausting. I feel bad because it often means that Frankie isn't getting the attention he deserves from me, i can't do anything in the house during the day and poor DH is working full time, coming home to loads of jobs to do and a toddler (who had decided that this is a great time to test the boundaries of acceptable behaviour) to take care of. Frankie was nothing like this, i can't help wondering if i was to give Mickey a bottle instead of the breast that he would be a much happier, easier baby. But it's taken such a lot of hard work to get to where we are now that i am loathed to give in. I keep saying, "We'll give it another week" and then when the week is done i say it again! I know the day will come where things will get easier, just got to keep going.

It's good to know I'm not the only one with a fussy baby, Jen!!

How is Jake doing, Bec? Xx

 

[Bec27]

Hi ladies, jake is doing really well thanks Ruth. We had lur first night where he slept through from 9pm-5.45am so I feel like a new woman today and really hope it's not a one off. He had been having one or two night feeds but sleeps pretty well in the day so I can't complain. He is so much easier than Josh was as he had reflux and colic badly so life was very hard. So glad it's not like that this time. My main struggle has been Josh's behaviour as he too has been testing the boundaries and has been seeking attention by unfortunately hitting and biting. It has really been getting me down but we've started being firmer with him, giving him loads of positive praise and attention and using time out for hitting and biting. Things are definitely improving and I can go to toddler groups again without feeling immense anxiety about him hitting other children.

So glad we're all getting reasonable nights and hopefully your days will both improve a bit soon x x x

 

[New Mrs W]

Hi girls! How is everyone? Can you believe our babies are growing so quickly? No longer new borns

How are our babies doing? Mickey has really settled down after a fairly tough start. He is feeding every couple of hours during the day. He has a big three hour sleep early afternoon each day but otherwise is just a cat napper during the day. He's still at his happiest when being held but I have a good sling which helps. He will sit in his bouncy chair or swing for about 15mins at most. He is still in his Moses basket in our room but he is quite happy to lay in his cot in the nursery with his mobile on for a while which is great when I need to get showered and dressed. He is super smiley and has started to properly giggle lately. But best of all is he goes down after his bedtime feed at about 8.30pm and doesn't wake until 4.30am ish and then goes straight back down until about 8.30am which is such a relief!! Breastfeeding has definitely got easier, I'm glad I stuck with it. It was a very close call as to whether to stop pr not more than once.

So how are Jake and Martha getting on? X

 

[JenJen80]

Hi all is good here. We have just come back from our 1st family holiday up in the Peak District. Martha was as good as gold all week and us doing amazingly at sleeping through the night. She still feeds from 7-9 has a little top up at 10pm and sleeps till about 6.45.
She still isn't really a day sleeper and cat naps still.

 

[Bec27]

Hi ladies, lovely to read your catch up posts. Jake is doing very well, he is such a good baby he started sleeping through at about 10 weeks and goes from 8.30/9pm until 5/6am so I'm really happy. Josh is an early riser so am pretty used to early starts anyway. He still sleeps well in the day but I've given up trying to put him down in his cot as he just doesn't like it and always wakes up so he sleeps very happily on the sofa for his daytime naps. I'm lucky he likes his sleep

Josh's behaviour is so much better now and he is so affectionate, gentle and loves his little bro. I am going to 2 baby groups a week as well as baby massage with jake on a Friday now my mum has dropped a day at work she has josh for a couple of hours while I spend quality time with jake which is lovely. I have met some nice mums there who I hope to stay in touch with. I am used to 2 now and love our routine.

How is Frankie now Ruth? I hope things are going well for you with 2 now as well. Good to hear both Martha and mickey are doing so well. Glad you managed to carry on with the breast feeding too Ruth, well done for persevering as I know you had a very tough start with it all. Jake is enormous now and starting to grow out of his 3-6month clothes. He is a very healthy (and heavy) 17lb 10oz! The health visitor I've seen assures me he is doing well and that his weight is not a cause for concern! Apparently you can't overfeed a breastfed baby!

Xxx

 

[JenJen80]

Wow Bec he is a good size Martha is still tiny and not had her weighed in weeks she's still in her 0-3 clothes.