Lack of intimacy & dtd

[nobump]

AF made an appearance on Saturday... so I am out... but was livid on Friday...

Had an appointment at hospital on Friday for a flexible cystoscopy, to check out my bladder due to blood in urine. Thought would see if they could do a preg test when they were looking at my urine sample when I got there.

Gave sample to a nurse, spoke to another nurse, who took my BP, explained I was late, and she went to see if they could do a test for me, but they had threw the urine away... so asked me to give another sample afterwards. She gave me a container for the sample.

Had flex test, not very pleasant, thankfully all ok, one of those things apparently for a small percentage of people. A nurse walked me out of the room to a disabled toliet to get dressed in!!!! A disabled toliet, felt horrible, why a toilet!!! Anyway got dressed, provided the sample, think it was mostly saline, as they fill your bladder with that during the procedure.

Gave sample to nurse, asked her if it would be ok for the preg test as I thought it would be mostly saline, and they said they were not doing a preg test as not required for the procedure as they can do the procedure why you are pregnant.

Was not a happy bunny, vented at them, said I was not happy at getting changed in a toilet! and said that I had been told that they would do the test! The doc just said not required for the procedure as they could do the procedure on a pregnant lady. I understand all that, but was still holding out hope on Friday that I could have go a positive.... Vented at the staff at the hospital... Got an appointment at my docs on Friday, not sure what is going on with my cycle, don't know if this was a chemical or just a long cycle..

How's everyone?

 

[viccat]

Awwwwwww nobump, that sounds rotten hun What are you hoping to cover at Friday's appointment?

 

[nobump]

want to find out why my cycle was different, why my periods are getting heavier. Really want someone to give me a reason why nothing works. And then I can stop torturing myself. Feeling very sad and frustrated just now. Life sucks.

 

[viccat]

Oh hun, I really feel for you. It can be draining dealing with NHS to check these things out too. I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you on Friday

 

[nobump]

Thanks, Starting to feel ok now. Think my hormones go mad during AF. Ready for a new cycle. Hopefully get some answers on Friday.

 

[Zeri]

Sorry you got AF, nobump. I was reading posts last week and was wondering if you were preg go. It's hard to have a long cycle, be hopeful, and then have Af crash the party. :-/ your hospital visit sounds really frustrating!

How is everyone doing? I've been without a computer, so it's hard to check in sometimes. Hope everyone is well! Viccat- where are you in your tww?

I'm here lying on the bed waiting for Dh to come Bd. he's Been on the computer for hours now. Sigh! :-/ Got a positive opk today too.

 

[Zeri]

4 hrs later and am STILL waiting for DH to BD!!!

 

[viccat]

Gah, that sucks Zeri!!

Did you manage to DTD in the end?

 

[nobump]

Zeri how frustrating, men just don't get the whole timing thing.
Viccat, yeah what are you in you TWW?

 

[viccat]

Sorry guys, didn't really want to announce here, but have got a positive this month. Once again though, I had some mild early symptoms, and now no symptoms at all, so am taking each day as it comes and trying not to get over-excited.

In the meantime I have turned 39, have redecorated an entire house in the last two weeks, and we are moving in this weekend!

 

[smurfy]

Sorry guys, didn't really want to announce here, but have got a positive this month. Once again though, I had some mild early symptoms, and now no symptoms at all, so am taking each day as it comes and trying not to get over-excited.

In the meantime I have turned 39, have redecorated an entire house in the last two weeks, and we are moving in this weekend!

Congratualtions thats great news, you have been doing alot

Did you do anything different to get your positive?

Take care

 

[Zeri]

Congratulations viccat!!! :-D That's awesome news! How did you feel when you saw the pos and how did the OH react? If I might ask, was this a natural cycle for you?
Sending sticky vibes!

 

[viccat]

Thanks folks

Did you do anything different to get your positive?

Well OH has been taking Wellman conception vitamins for a few weeks now, and his last SA was much better than his first. Also this cycle we DTD earlier than normal at CD8 and CD10. Plus I had "forced" OH to have a BJ at CD6 to clear out the swimmers OH has got better about DTD since we started attending a fertility clinic. It aint romantic, but he has been making more of an effort.

Perhaps I ovulate earlier than my CBFM thinks I do? Or perhaps it is best to have sperm waiting, instead of racing to catch egg as it goes by?

How did you feel when you saw the pos and how did the OH react? If I might ask, was this a natural cycle for you?
Sending sticky vibes!

This is going to sound bizarre, but I just felt quietly happy. I think my chemical a few months ago made me realise that the BFP is not the "happily ever after" point! OH just said "yay" and then we carried on decorating. He isn't fond of counting chickens before they hatch either.

Yep, it was a natural cycle. Just pre-natal vitamins for both of us.

 

[Briss]

nobump, Sorry about AF

Zeri, how frustrating! did you get to BD in the end?

Viccat, congratulations!! fingers crossed for s sticky bean.

afm, AF got me today, frustrated as usual but finally decided to proceed with natural modified IVf this cycle, called the clinic and waiting for their response

 

[Zeri]

Viccat- wow, I guess those new things you and the OH did really made a difference! Hope you have a smooth and sticky first tri!

Briss - sorry about AF, but feeling hopeful for you for the Ivf cycle! By the way, did you get the ovarian cyst issue sorted out?

Afm- Dh finally came to bed around 3 am Wed night. He wasn't in the mood but tried to rally his little soldier anyway, but it just wasn't happening so he gave up. it was really frustrating for me especially after waiting up 4 hours for some action! And especially knowing it was the night of the pos opk. Anyway we did end up Bding the day after, O day I guess, but not until 4 pm. I'm worried it might've been too late for the swimmers as I think I O'd in the early morning. bah! I used Clomid and preseed this cycle, but it might all have been for nought.

 

[Briss]

Zeri, your egg lives for about 24 hours after being released so if your DH's swimmers are fast they can still make it right in time. Some sperm just takes a couple of hours to reach fallopian tubes. I think your timing might even be just perfect. Good luck!

I did MRI scan and it showed no cyst on the left! it disappeared. the cancer doc said it was probably a mistake what they thought was some solid mass in the cyst was probably some shadow or something so it was just an ordinary functional cyst that went away on its own. Huge relieve! they made me so worried. cos one of my cancer markers came positive but the doc said on its own blood test does not mean anything. he said we should do another scan in 6 months cos I still have my other small cyst on the right side but it's completely benign. I have my first IVF scan scheduled on wednesday. finger crossed

We've been discussing our situation with DH all day today. we are going through some crisis and I was not sure how things will turn out but I think we are getting there. agreed on 3 IVF attempts (hubby will pay), he will try to cut out beer but not completely, he also asked that can rent a flat for himself so he could stay away from all the TTC drama for a while. I was OK with that but I doubt he is really going to do that.

I am excited about IVF but scared at the same time. I will just have to take it one day at a time.

 

[nobump]

Viccat so pleased for you, good to hear that someone is seeing results. Hope this one sticks, and you have a smooth 9 months.

Zeri, I share you frustrations! Hubby had a cold this weekend so no luck here either, so frustrating...

Briss, good luck with IVF, be good to hear all the details.

AFM - doc just listened to me moaning on Friday she agreed treatment at hospital was not good. Unfortunately any investigations they can do re heavy/painful periods would interfere with TTC! She did wright me a prescription for some tablets to help with the bleeding and pain. Asked if going private for IVF would be an option.... tried talking to hubby today about things again, not sure what we'll do... as doc says we are unexplained why do we need to go down IVF route, he just sees the expense, think I will phone clinic near us to inquire about initial test/costs...

 

[viccat]

I did MRI scan and it showed no cyst on the left! it disappeared. the cancer doc said it was probably a mistake what they thought was some solid mass in the cyst was probably some shadow or something so it was just an ordinary functional cyst that went away on its own. Huge relieve! they made me so worried. cos one of my cancer markers came positive but the doc said on its own blood test does not mean anything. he said we should do another scan in 6 months cos I still have my other small cyst on the right side but it's completely benign. I have my first IVF scan scheduled on wednesday. finger crossed

So pleased to hear about your results Briss. I've had a cyst spontaneously resolve too, and it was such a relief after the docs were being so serious about it! I hope that Wednesday's scan goes well too

Keeping my fingers crossed for all of you

 

[battyatty]

Hi there, can I use this thread for a really good vent?

I'm a mother of 3, youngest nearly 13 from my ex of 20 years, got rid of him 4 years ago and met my new DF a few months later. Now almost 4 years later, with talk of moving country for his work he pulls the baby out of the bag! He doesn't have any kids and he's nearly 40. So back in July in the kitchen he tells me he definitely wants kids, and can I have them?

When we met I told him I didn't want more kids, but now I get this!

After a really long morning talking it over, it appears he wants kids and he doesn't know what to do because he knows its unlikely I can, I'm 47 this week! So then we talked nearly every day for a few weeks, he trawled the net for scientific papers on the chances of a a woman of 47 conceiving, then one morning after days of this he starts up on FSH and other blood tests. I'm sitting there listening to all this jargon yet again with my IUD still in place, doing its job. (hadn't removed it as was waiting for him to make up his mind) Well I had enough of this talk, walked out the door and drove to my GP! I talked my GP of the last 19 years and asked his opinion, he said go for it! Took my bloods and arranged for my coil to be removed in an hours time. I sent my DF a text that I was at the doctors waiting for my coil to be removed, his reply was Great, well done, I'm so excited!

So here I am 2 cycles later. First cycle my DF decided its better to wait till the second cycle to try. OK I say even though I know my clock isn't just ticking, its damn well chiming. This cycle starts and trying to get him to BD has been awful! (Up to this point we have been BDing about 10 times a week since we first met!)The first time I lay there for an hour and half in bed next to him, waiting for him to make up his mind. The second time was actually after a huge row. I told him that if we don't BD then he may as well move on, as I cant give him the baby he wants if we don't BD. And I know that if we don't produce an heir then he will walk a few years down the line looking for a woman who can!
The next day he asked did I feel pregnant? WTF? I told him the sperm probably hadn't even reached the egg yet, never mind implanted. he listened walked away and now if I bring up anything to do with trying he walks out the room. I'm so confused, upset and on top of that and probably because of all this stress I have had awful cramps and feeling nauseous since my O, and I cant tell him.

How do you all cope with this?

Does he want to do this, has he changed his mind? I don't want to bring it up anymore, for fear of rejection.......

But It's on my mind now 24/7 now. Every cycle could be my last. I'm so close to MP it isn't funny. I feel like he's wasting time here, from fear. Fear of being a parent, fear of total no going back commitment.

I feel like chucking in the towel and walking away. I had everything set up for me going back to college in the new year to do my BA. It's something I have been wanting to do since my teens, but couldn't, due to work then kids.

I know none of you wonderful ladies have an answer to my problems, I just needed to vent!

PS I cant talk to anyone, no one knows were sort of trying!

 

[Briss]

battyatty, totally confusing I agree, hang in there he will come around. you are probably right he is not sure himself, he does not want to miss his chance to have a child but does not seem to be quite ready yet but then again if not now it may never happen because of your age, so he is probably trying to make up his mind, very tricky!

on a positive side at least you had 10 BD a week before!! I get half of this in a month if I am lucky