Let's just call this my leaving-my-manboy diary

[Proserpina]

With my new job, I'll be commuting to/from downtown Chicago, and will not get back into town until 6:20 PM at night. Since most daycare places close at 6 PM, this was a bit of a problem. Found a childcare place that is open until 9 PM and eager to have both of my children. It's pretty much my only option, but going to go tour it on Tuesday at 4:30 PM.

Very excited for this job. Got to read up now on healthy meals to pack for work.

Also: got the fellowship I applied for! Only I'm not sure I'll be able to do it now as I imagine my new employers may not be thrilled about me wanting a 6-7 week leave 3 months after my start date. Still, it feels good to be succeeding at some things. And if I can do it, I will. (I hope that I can because I really, really want to do it.)

 

[daneuse27]

Awesome in the success at securing these positions, congrats

 

[Proserpina]

I am back at work now! Making this pumping-and-working thing work for me.

Manboy continues to be manboy. He comes, he sleeps on the couch, he makes a mess, and he leaves. He doesn't get home until 1 AM - 3 AM most nights, then grumbles about how badly he needs sleep if I ask for nocturnal help with the baby. Leaves for work between 11 AM and noon. He is making better money at work, but nowhere near what he said he was making when he tried to make me feel bad about my new job. More like maybe $300-$400 per month more than me, and his job doesn't provide insurance. Whoop tee freakin' doo.

Since he won't lift a finger to do chores around here, I've stopped doing his laundry. Wonder how long it will take him to notice the ginormous amount that has accumulated in his hamper.

 

[creatingpeace]

Ahhhh I so love your writing! he is working with Bimberly? Ugh nasty!
You are one strong, smart, funny determined lady. I can't wiat until he is gone and you have your very own adventures. They will be much more fun then the life you have with him. When is he leaving, what is preventing him from this right now? Seems like torture...

 

[Proserpina]

Ahhhh I so love your writing! he is working with Bimberly? Ugh nasty!
You are one strong, smart, funny determined lady. I can't wiat until he is gone and you have your very own adventures. They will be much more fun then the life you have with him. When is he leaving, what is preventing him from this right now? Seems like torture...

Thanks for the kind words.

What's preventing him from leaving now? Money. He'll need to save for the first month's rent + security deposit on a new place. His credit sucks so I suspect finding a place won't be easy.

Last paycheck, I took out only what I needed for rent + food, gave him everything else, what should have been more than enough for gas + food for his job and then money to save. He blew it all on lessons with his dance partner and wound up begging more money off of me before his next payday. Sigh.

I honestly don't think he's going to be moving out before the end of July, and then I'll probably wind up moving out into my place, and he'll try begging me to come with. Not going to happen though.

And yes, he is working with Bimberly, and keeps trying to obscure this fact when he talks about her. He'll say "I'm going to meet up with 'this lady'", etc. "This lady"? I know who she is, no need to talk about her like she's a stranger.

 

[daddiesgift]

Bored and browsing the boards and came across this journal, I'm now hooked!

He does seem like the definition of a man child.

I'm SHOCKED at how much childcare costs where you are at!! I'm an inhome daycare provider (for the military) so the government decides how much I get paid and let's say its no where near that per kid!! I'd be your manny for that price

 

[creatingpeace]

Ugh well men are so simple aren't they?

Yes he certainly does not sound capable of saving the money and making a move out plan on his own. How annoying.

What kind of dance does he do?

 

[Proserpina]

Bored and browsing the boards and came across this journal, I'm now hooked!

He does seem like the definition of a man child.

I'm SHOCKED at how much childcare costs where you are at!! I'm an inhome daycare provider (for the military) so the government decides how much I get paid and let's say its no where near that per kid!! I'd be your manny for that price

Thanks for the kind words. This commute is so draining and insane, I'm going to have to move closer to my job for sure.

Ugh well men are so simple aren't they?

Yes he certainly does not sound capable of saving the money and making a move out plan on his own. How annoying.

What kind of dance does he do?

Ballroom.

 

[Proserpina]

I have been giving manboy as much of his paychecks as I have been able to spare, which has been close to $1200 in the past month. I did this so that he could save up for the deposit and first month's rent on a new apartment. He should have been able to save at least $600-$800 of that money for a new apartment.

This morning he went and looked at a one-bedroom apartment. $900 rent + $300 security deposit (with good credit, the application says, so I'm thinking he may not qualify for the low deposit). He calls me up and says he needs $35 for the application fee and $100 for the holding deposit. I'm like, you didn't save any of that $1200 that I gave you in the last month for moving into a new apartment? Nope, he blew it all on coachings with his dance partner. That includes $250 that I gave him maybe 3 days ago.

He just got paid (his paychecks are still going into my bank account), so I went and got his share of the money again (about $640) and gave that to him. I hope he gets approved, but I'm not giving him another dime towards his security deposit + first month's rent if he is.

Either he's about to learn a lesson on the importance of good credit, or he's about to learn why you can't just blow all of your money on stupid crap and then still pay rent. Against odds, I hope that he is approved and is able to move in as soon as possible, because I want him out.

 

[daddiesgift]

Good lord he doesnt sound very responsible! If you are suppose to be saving your money to move out why are you blowing it on other things! I hope he gets out soon then hes on his own and cant depend on you to save the day and come up with money to help him and He'll have to learn how to manage money better

 

[daneuse27]

As always I think you're doing the right thing. Sounds like if he doesn't learn the hard way, he won't learn at all.

 

[Proserpina]

Thanks. I'm just shaking my head that he didn't even save up enough for application fees on a new apartment. I hope he gets approved, but even if he does, I have a feeling he'll be calling me today to beg for another $600-$1200 so that he can get into this new apartment. I'm not doing it.

 

[Proserpina]

Manboy's apartment application was approved. He moves out on April 8th.

 

[Meezerowner]

Manboy's apartment application was approved. He moves out on April 8th.

Congrats! You can count down the hours!

 

[daddiesgift]

Congrats!!

 

[creatingpeace]

YAY great news!!!!!!

 

[Proserpina]

I cannot wait to start packing up his crap this weekend so that he can get the hell out.

I finally marked off childcare as "completed." My kids are being cared for by a woman from my husband's church while my brother mulls over whether or not to travel out to the Midwest and move in with me to care for my children, kind of like an au pair but without being from a foreign country. In the meantime, after-school transportation for my daughter is in place and the woman's rate is really low. So I have options and they are in play.

 

[daneuse27]

Glad to hear you have options and that hell be gone soon have you guys worked out how often he will see the kids? I assume he wants to..

 

[Proserpina]

He moved out. Even though I wanted him gone, I still feel very melancholy about this. Tonight it's just me and my kiddos for the first time. He won't be coming home.

 

[daddiesgift]

Sorry you are feeling down. I can understand how you feel, even though you wanted him gone its going to take some adjustment to get use to him being gone and even though you had bad times Im sure there was some good times too. Hold strong! Things are only going to look up from here!