Let's just call this my leaving-my-manboy diary

[creatingpeace]

He has no pride!

 

[Proserpina]

Yesterday I came home to find that manboy had left his Mormon undapants on my bathroom floor again. Today I did something immature: snuck the undapants outside with me in the morning and put them in his car, draped over the steering wheel. See how he likes having his undapants left in inconvenient locations!

My brother is here now, and the lady who was watching my kids today was so sweet and gentle. All in all a good day.

Tomorrow morning I have court against my ex-landlady. Wish me luck!

 

[Tui]

Hi there. I just wanted to say thank you. I was having a really bad day and then I stumbled across your diary. You have made me laugh when I wanted to cry. Don't get me wrong, I'm not laughing at your situation, just the lovely way you write about it, and the strength of character you obviously have in spades. If you don't mind I would love to follow your journey. Good luck with the manchild.

 

[daneuse27]

Your ex has no shame at all

Good luck on the court case tomorrow!

 

[Proserpina]

Court case went well. Evil ex-landlady made a surprise appearance, we went to mediation, and she settled for $744 ($200 security deposit out of $250-$500 asked, $200 overpaid rent out of $400 asked, $344 for 100% of court costs). The only catch is that she has 3 months to pay. If she doesn't pay me back within 3 months, I can go back to court and get a judgment for the original amount that I asked, and she's pretty certain to lose then.

I anticipate that she won't pay me back, but I'm pleased just the same.

 

[daneuse27]

Glad that the results were for the most part favourable. The extra money will come in handy if she pays it, but if she doesn't she's only screwing herself over even more.

One more weight off your back

 

[Proserpina]

I suspect that Bimberly might be moving in with manboy. Because ...

(1) Manboy made a vague comment to my brother the other day about how the kids were going to have 2 sets of parents, a stepfather and "maybe even a stepmother."

(2) Manboy mentioned to me the other day that he's getting a new roommate. I asked who and he got evasive (the way he does when he's lying) and said "some Polish guy from the studio."

(3) Then he announced that he would soon have more furniture in the apartment because Bimberly is going out of town for two months this summer and putting her things at his place while she's gone.

(4) He unfriended me on Facebook sometime in the past few days. We didn't have a fight first or anything, he just did it. He seldom uses FB and we haven't told our friends yet, so it surprised me.

Anyways, if Bimberly has moved in with him, to hell with everything I said earlier about her being a class act. They can both go to hell; this means war.

 

[daneuse27]

Wow! I'm not sure whether to be surprised, or to be surprised that I'm surprised at this.
I've been following your posts for a while and remember the whole 'Bimberly' issue from before. I always thought they seemed awfully close for being just friends. When you confronted her, she seemed sincere and honest and maybe there was nothing going on at the time. It does seem like he is trying to hide things from you now, and unfortunately it sounds like you might be right about Bimberly.

If they are together though, I don't think you should let it get to you too much. No war needed. He was a lousy husband, and a mediocre father from everything I've heard. I would feel more sorry for Bimberly that she hasn't seen that side of him yet, and is now about to waste months or even years of her life with someone who is going to end up treating her the same way he treated you

 

[creatingpeace]

Ugh just ugh! He is just vile, really! So if you never forced the issue he was quite happy to continue sponging off of you. Now within weeks they are moving in. Gross. I wish he could be a man show some respect and talk to you about his decision to move in with another woman.

 

[daddiesgift]

What they said

 

[Proserpina]

Re: Bimberly, it would be "war" if those two are getting together because of what a big deal they made about how their relationship was strictly professional and they had no interest in each other. He knows what a wedge his "friendship" with her put in our relationship. So yeah.

My brother says he overheard ex talking to someone on the phone the other day, calling her "beautiful" and "gorgeous."

I received collections notices in the mail today for over $1000 in unpaid tolls. Ex drives through 2-4 Illinois tollway checkpoints per day. I'm telling them that I dispute the debt because they're his and told him he'd better deal with it himself.

I'm starting to think maybe I do need a divorce attorney.

 

[daddiesgift]

 

[Meezerowner]

I received collections notices in the mail today for over $1000 in unpaid tolls. Ex drives through 2-4 Illinois tollway checkpoints per day. I'm telling them that I dispute the debt because they're his and told him he'd better deal with it himself.

I'm starting to think maybe I do need a divorce attorney.

Defo get yourself a solicitor. I remember from one of your other threads from ages ago saying how random he was with money. You might find all sorts of bills and debts coming your way that he has run up in joint names or something.

How do the tolls work? - are they based on the car number plate or do you register it with a name or address?

I'd be so mad.... why doesn't he pay his tolls anyway how do end up with $1000?

 

[Proserpina]

The bills for tolls are up to $2700 now. No joke.

How do the tolls work? - are they based on the car number plate or do you register it with a name or address?

Illinois is one of (I think) just 3 states in America that has what's called "tollways." They're freeways where you have to pay a toll to get on or get off. These aren't remote roads, either; they are major commuter freeways and a lot of people must use them to get to and from work, making it a part of their commuter expenses.

You can buy a little box called an I-Pass and attach it to your car. You link this box to your bank account and it withdraws $40.00. Every time you drive through a toll checkpoint, it deducts it from that $40.00 you paid (at 50% the regular toll rate, so you save on using the I-Pass over paying the tolls manually). So if I drive through a $1.40 toll checkpoint, it withdraws $0.70 from my balance. If I drive through that toll checkpoint on my way to work and on my way home, my balance will be depleted in 28 working days and $40.00 will be drawn from my bank account every 5 weeks or so.

With me so far?

Manboy drives through 2-4 of these checkpoints every day as part of his commute to and from work. His bank account temporarily ran out of money at some point in January or February. I-Pass tried to withdraw $40.00 from his account to pay for the tolls, but got declined. So from that point onward, he was driving through toll checkpoints without paying for them.

When you drive through a toll without paying, the tollway cameras take a picture of your car's license plate and only the license plate and send violation notices to all registered owners of the vehicle. Since the vehicle is still registered in my name, the tollway company is sending these notices to me, even though I had nothing to do with any of this.

He's being charged hundreds of dollars in fines and fees for not paying these tolls. That's why they've gotten so high. For example, here's what the latest notice says:

Toll Amount(s): $18.00
Fine Amount(s): $260.00
Fee Amount(s): 650.00
Balance Due: $928.00

So most of the money that he owes is in fines and fees for ignoring these toll notices for so long.

 

[daneuse27]

What a sh*t tone of money to owe for something so stupid!

 

[Proserpina]

Well, had more delicious manboy drama this week.

I get up at 4:45 AM with the goal of being out the door and on my way to work by 6:30 AM. Manboy is supposed to come over between 6:00 AM and 6:30 AM so that he can watch the kids until 11:00 AM, whereupon my brother takes over. Almost every morning, I text Manboy at 6:00 AM to make sure he is awake and on his way. And almost every morning, Manboy eventually texts me back that he slept in or that he's too tired to come over this morning, could my brother cover for him, etc. It's intensely frustrating for me and unfair on my brother.

On Thursday morning, I texted Manboy at 6:00 AM to make sure he was up. Got no response until almost 6:30 AM, when he replied that he dozed off while praying, so he's going to be late again, but he did say he was on his way. (Oh, now it's prayer as an excuse for neglecting his kids! How pious of him!)

I was pretty freakin' pissed off and fed up with him always coming over late or not showing up at all, so I ripped into him. Told him he was a terrible husband and a lousy father and he'd never get the chance to be a better husband with me, but the least he could do is try to stop being a terrible father. No reply from him.

I had to go and my son was wide awake, and (as far as I knew) his father was on his way. My brother was completely passed out, having stayed up all night, and I didn't want to wake him. So I put my son in his crib and left, thinking he would only be alone in his crib for 15 minutes, tops. That was 6:30 AM.

At 9:30 AM, my daughter's school called me at work to ask me where my daughter was. They said she didn't get on the bus for school. My heart stopped. Where the hell was my daughter??

Called my ex and he sent my call to voicemail. Called him again and voicemail again. Called my brother and he picked up. He was groggy. Said my daughter came and woke him up at 9:30 AM, saying "Costa needs you!" My son was bawling in his crib where he had been all alone for 3 hours. Since my brother was (a) passed out and (b) sleeping all the way on the other side of the apartment, he hadn't been able to hear my son's crying.

Apparently my ex got his poor wittle feelings hurted when I said he was a bad father and decided to remedy that by being an even worse father and not showing up at all that morning. And didn't bother to notify me that he'd decided to take the morning off. So our son was all alone in his crib hungry and crying ALL FREAKIN' MORNING and our daughter slept in and didn't make her bus for school. My brother had covered for my ex the day before and my ex had promised my brother he would be over that day, so my brother hadn't known he'd be on duty with the kids and had stayed up all night because of that.

I was bawling when I realized my son had been alone all morning and my daughter had missed the early part of school. I took the rest of the day off work and rushed home, even though my brother was awesome and really swung into gear once he was up. My son had been safe in his crib, but I hate to think of him being alone and unattended all morning.

I don't know what in the hell my ex was even thinking. It makes me so angry

 

[Proserpina]

What a sh*t tone of money to owe for something so stupid!

Yup. And if he doesn't pay this crap off, and they insist I am responsible even though I wasn't the driver and was separated from him, I will seize his car and sell it so that I can pay it off. Then he'll wish he'd registered it exclusively in his name.

 

[daddiesgift]

Whoa!! I'd be so pissed that he didn't come over and your son was crying that whole time! I'm not surprised at all that you are divorcing him!

 

[daneuse27]

Your poor son That's awful that he was alone for so long, thank god your daughter and brother were there and eventually were able to help him.

I would be absolutely livid at what your ex did. He's hurting his children more than anyone else being so unreliable and childish I would document every time he fails to show,and especially this time - I dont think he's capable of partial custody if he has trouble showing up and keeping his word. You could use all this info against him if you ever needed to.

 

[Tasha]

You ex is just plain awful. I am sorry he did that to your kids