Levels Dropping, Just Testing To See The Lines Fade Page 114
- Thread starter stuckinoki
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katiemae7031
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No more words for u stucki 
I just read ur journal entry and it made me cry. I can't even begin to fathom how u feel dear.
I just read ur journal entry and it made me cry. I can't even begin to fathom how u feel dear.
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Sorry, Stucki. I know that doesn't make you feel better, but I am. We haven't been talking long, but you are the strongest woman I know to have endured so many losses. I can never say I understand how you feel... but if I make an attempt to mentally put myself into that situation, I think I would be asking my doctor about sterilization as well.
I do think it's unfair to you to blame yourself like you're doing something wrong. All those pills, suppositories, tests, etc... I think you're trying to do everything you possibly can right. I don't know what's causing your RPL, but I definitely don't believe it's something you should blame yourself for. To blame yourself for something kind of implies you could have avoided it.
It is troubling to me that your husband isn't giving you any sort of support. And even MORE troubling that he seems to be saying a lot of cold things that would make you feel guilty.
I don't think I would be putting up with that shit. That's some kind of emotional terrorism or something. You have enough heartbreak without having to feel like it's something you're doing. Keep your head up, and if he's going to be that kind of an asshole, then I would consider leaving him. Not to "set him free" as you put it, but to set YOU free. No one should be made to feel like something like this is their fault. It's sick and wrong.
Perhaps he doesn't realize that him talking about how his family line "ends with him" and so on is very hurtful to you? I would imagine you have talked about it with him? If you've told him, and he still continues to do it, then it seems like he is maliciously trying to hurt you. You shouldn't stand for it.
Sorry. I went on a bit of a rant there! Point is, if you need someone to vent to who won't pretend to understand what you're going through or try to relate their much more insignificant problems to yours, shoot me a message. I'll listen.
I do think it's unfair to you to blame yourself like you're doing something wrong. All those pills, suppositories, tests, etc... I think you're trying to do everything you possibly can right. I don't know what's causing your RPL, but I definitely don't believe it's something you should blame yourself for. To blame yourself for something kind of implies you could have avoided it.
It is troubling to me that your husband isn't giving you any sort of support. And even MORE troubling that he seems to be saying a lot of cold things that would make you feel guilty.
I don't think I would be putting up with that shit. That's some kind of emotional terrorism or something. You have enough heartbreak without having to feel like it's something you're doing. Keep your head up, and if he's going to be that kind of an asshole, then I would consider leaving him. Not to "set him free" as you put it, but to set YOU free. No one should be made to feel like something like this is their fault. It's sick and wrong.
Perhaps he doesn't realize that him talking about how his family line "ends with him" and so on is very hurtful to you? I would imagine you have talked about it with him? If you've told him, and he still continues to do it, then it seems like he is maliciously trying to hurt you. You shouldn't stand for it.
Sorry. I went on a bit of a rant there! Point is, if you need someone to vent to who won't pretend to understand what you're going through or try to relate their much more insignificant problems to yours, shoot me a message. I'll listen.
Oh_Clementine
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Oh no! Checking this thread was the last thing I did before falling asleep, and the first thing I did this morning and I am so saddened by what I've read. the world is beyond cruel. Big big hugs to you. 
the world is beyond cruel. Big big hugs to you. 
stuckinoki
2 Sticks A Butter Ya'll
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Me too. I'm sorry too. I'm really sorry that I let my guard down and got my hopes up. I'm even more sorry that I thought it was safe to tell my closest friends. And even more sorry than that that I allowed myself to look at baby stuff online.
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Dont be sorry that you dared to hope because hope matters when you are pregnant and it is normal to hope after so many loses, you think that life cant get any crueler so you let yourself think that maybe this is the one especially when things looked so good.
Dont be sorry that you dared to dream about baby things and your baby using them. You're a normal woman with many loses, but a dream like many. It isnt a bad thing even though you are hurting so bad right now, because every day was special, even though anxious, when you have dreams and hope.
And certainly dont be sorry that you told your closest friends, now they can hold your hand, hug you tight and wipe away your tears.
Dont be sorry that you dared to dream about baby things and your baby using them. You're a normal woman with many loses, but a dream like many. It isnt a bad thing even though you are hurting so bad right now, because every day was special, even though anxious, when you have dreams and hope.
And certainly dont be sorry that you told your closest friends, now they can hold your hand, hug you tight and wipe away your tears.
whittnie117
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Never be sorry you had hope. Sometimes hope is all we have. I am so sorry life has been so cruel to you. I know it is no comfort, but you will be in my thoughts. I say thoughts because I don't pray, but if I did a lot would be coming your way.
stuckinoki
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I think I'm going to be ok. I'm halfway through this bottle of wine. DH bought me a piece of chocolate cake and I'm drunk and full of chocolate. I'll survive.
mammaspath
Pregnant with a surrobaby
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Oh stucki im so sorry! ....... what kind of wine are u drinking? I love wine 
Crazywaiter
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What total bulls**t. I'm so so so very sorry.
Jamandspoon
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I am so sorry. Big xxxx
xxxx
