looking into fostering

[LolaM]

thr room has to be big enough for a bed and a dresser. I am a foster mom, i can not have children of my own. So i take ages 0-6 and will adopt if they become available and it looks like my very first foster baby is becoming available so he will be all ours! I was a foster child, and i always knew i would become a foster parent, it gives kids the chance they need to break the cycle-to start over!

Thanks for getting back to me,the room is only big enough for a cot or toddler bed but does fit a wardrobe and a drawer and a small toy chest so I hope this is big enough...
Congratulations on your baby being available
,,how old is she? Have a nice day....xx

He is almost 8 months old! he has been with us most of his life now

 

[magicwhisper]

awh i hope it all works out for you hun xx

 

[CareBear]

I just wanted to say that fostering is different between the USA and the uk, you are looking at a few months to be approved as a foster carer in the uk, you will need to attend a preparation course, have a home assessment and been presented to a panel for approval. You can foster with having your own children you just need to have a spare room and they will consider your own family when looking at what age group you will be approved for. Hope that helps and good luck

 

[LolaM]

I just wanted to say that fostering is different between the USA and the uk, you are looking at a few months to be approved as a foster carer in the uk, you will need to attend a preparation course, have a home assessment and been presented to a panel for approval. You can foster with having your own children you just need to have a spare room and they will consider your own family when looking at what age group you will be approved for. Hope that helps and good luck

you are right. Here we have loads of paperwork, we take 12 weeks of classes,must have finger prints and background checks and a home inspection. We do not see an approval board though. We can have our own children also but if they live in the home and are over 18 they must have a background check. We chose the age of the children we would like to foster, and how many we would care for at a time. We started in the begining of November, finished classes mid-February and our license wasnt complete until the end of may, may 24th to be exact and we had 3 calls to foster by May 31st!

 

[helloeveryone]

I just wanted to say that fostering is different between the USA and the uk, you are looking at a few months to be approved as a foster carer in the uk, you will need to attend a preparation course, have a home assessment and been presented to a panel for approval. You can foster with having your own children you just need to have a spare room and they will consider your own family when looking at what age group you will be approved for. Hope that helps and good luck

Thanks for this information, yes we have a spare room,and someone is coming to talk to us in 6 months...
Have you been on the preparation course ?? and if you have what sort of things is in it please..
Is the home assessment just to check that the home is safe ??

And also is being present to a panel,hard and do I need to think of all the questions they might ask??

Also they have already said that they can only offer us 0 to 2 years because of all the ages of my children already...my littlest is only 2 years old..

sorry about all the questions but I just want to be ready so in 6 months time I will already know most of the basics..
THANKS AGAIN..xx

 

[helloeveryone]

I just wanted to say that fostering is different between the USA and the uk, you are looking at a few months to be approved as a foster carer in the uk, you will need to attend a preparation course, have a home assessment and been presented to a panel for approval. You can foster with having your own children you just need to have a spare room and they will consider your own family when looking at what age group you will be approved for. Hope that helps and good luck

you are right. Here we have loads of paperwork, we take 12 weeks of classes,must have finger prints and background checks and a home inspection. We do not see an approval board though. We can have our own children also but if they live in the home and are over 18 they must have a background check. We chose the age of the children we would like to foster, and how many we would care for at a time. We started in the begining of November, finished classes mid-February and our license wasnt complete until the end of may, may 24th to be exact and we had 3 calls to foster by May 31st!

Can it ask a few questions. Was the 12 week course hard.??
And what sort of things are in the course??

I am hoping that by bringing up 6 children already that I will be a little bit ahead of some people....

Also I bet waiting these last few months for your licence was hard to wait for..

A am so excited to get things started but a little bit worried they will try to get me to wait until my kids are older...

Do you know if there is a good foster book I can buy???
Thanks for any help you can give me...xxx

 

[LolaM]

I dont know if there is a book that you can buy. The class was alot of rules and scenarios about the horrors that the children experience before they come to foster care. We have to discuss what we can and cant do with a foster child, and how we would feel in certain situations, we talk about how to deal with angry parents, how to dispense medications and what foster care expects of foster parents. I dont think they would make you wait until your kids are old but im not sure how that works in our situation. Waiting was difficult because my husband and i can not have children of our own and we are hoping to adopt through the fostercare system.

 

[CareBear]

I just wanted to say that fostering is different between the USA and the uk, you are looking at a few months to be approved as a foster carer in the uk, you will need to attend a preparation course, have a home assessment and been presented to a panel for approval. You can foster with having your own children you just need to have a spare room and they will consider your own family when looking at what age group you will be approved for. Hope that helps and good luck

Thanks for this information, yes we have a spare room,and someone is coming to talk to us in 6 months...
Have you been on the preparation course ?? and if you have what sort of things is in it please..
Is the home assessment just to check that the home is safe ??

And also is being present to a panel,hard and do I need to think of all the questions they might ask??

Also they have already said that they can only offer us 0 to 2 years because of all the ages of my children already...my littlest is only 2 years old..

sorry about all the questions but I just want to be ready so in 6 months time I will already know most of the basics..
THANKS AGAIN..xx

I haven't been on a prep course so I can't give you any more information about what happens on it I'm afraid, I know about fostering and adoption through my work. The home assessment will be over a number of sessions with your allocated social worker and will go over your history and from those sessions a form f will be completed and references will be obtained. The panel will have your form f to consider as well as meeting you, for them to consider when making their recommendation. Your social worker will be able to prepare you for the panel and on the questions likely to be asked. You will also have to have a medical and a DBS check (used to be called crb check). They will probably have a look at your house and the room you propose to use for a foster child when they come to do the initial home visit. Can I ask who you are going through as I'm surprised you are having to wait six months for an initial home visit. Hope that helps a little bit more though.

 

[helloeveryone]

Thanks to lolam and carebear for all your help so far,,

Lolam sorry to hear the only way you can have a baby is though fostering but so glad that you found your 8 month old. I love that age it just before they start walking ,when you need eyes every where,because they can reach more things..

Carebear we have been told we have to wait 6 months because I am moving my 2 year old with his 2 brothers,so it leaves me a spare room to foster in..
They won't to make sure all 3 boys are happy to spare so they said 6 months we should know by then...
So excited to get. Things started been planing the nursery and trying to look for bedding to suit both boys and girls...(I know I am getting ahead of myself and I don't know if I will get excepted. ) but I know i will keep trying until I do...

Also another problem is we might have to move .so I know that will delay things...and also the house we saw yesterday has a dinning room that we would need to turn into my 16 year olds bedroom..
(Not sure if the foster people will like that ? )

Also not sure if we moved weather they would want us to wait a while til we start training....
I know waiting will be something I have to do,,but I hate waiting...
Better go now ..xx

 

[MrsEngland]

Good luck to all of you looking into it, we ended up pregnant again (not planned but loved none the less) so we will wait a few years before looking into fostering again

 

[helloeveryone]

Good luck to all of you looking into it, we ended up pregnant again (not planned but loved none the less) so we will wait a few years before looking into fostering again

A late congratulations on having another girl on the way..

 

[helloeveryone]

Quick update the room I planed to use us the foster child's room is too small,so we are moving to find a bit house so we can foster,,a lot of money we are spending in the hope that they we say we can foster .
But I am going to try anything to be able to be a foster mummy..
Bit fed up we have to move as we love this house,and we might buy a house and get turned down...( we would try again )

Does anyone know or is a foster mummy who has a large family already..???
I have 6 children, they have said that we would be able to try to foster,but might be harder than most people.

 

[TTC First]

Quick update the room I planed to use us the foster child's room is too small,so we are moving to find a bit house so we can foster,,a lot of money we are spending in the hope that they we say we can foster .
But I am going to try anything to be able to be a foster mummy..
Bit fed up we have to move as we love this house,and we might buy a house and get turned down...( we would try again )

Does anyone know or is a foster mummy who has a large family already..???
I have 6 children, they have said that we would be able to try to foster,but might be harder than most people.

Actually I do know one foster parent with a large family. Both her and her other half have children from previous relationships (5 in total). They have one room for them, one room for each of 2 bio kids, and 2 rooms for 4 of the fosters. In the basement they have a room for her mom and a room for 2 additional bio kids to share. The fifth child doesn't stay there much so they don't have a room.

So they have a 5 bedroom house with 2 bedrooms in the basement. Foster kids can not go in a basement so that's why the family is down there.

 

[helloeveryone]

TTF FIRST,
Thanks so much for telling me this, I was getting so worried that I was the only big family out there trying to foster... Can I ask if you know how old our your friends bio children and how old is there foster children..
We have been told we can only foster 0 to 2 at the start because my littlest is two.
Any other information would be lovely, did they had it hard to get excepted to foster ?
And we're there children young when they started to foster ?
Sorry about the loads of questions, I am just so excited to find out any information that might help me, I am also going to ask my children's school if I can help with story time or going in to help with a maths lesson.( I only get 2 mornings a week without LO )

Thanks so much and hope to speak to you soon.xx

Also if there is any more big family who foster I would love to hear from you..

 

[TTC First]

TTF FIRST,
Thanks so much for telling me this, I was getting so worried that I was the only big family out there trying to foster... Can I ask if you know how old our your friends bio children and how old is there foster children..
We have been told we can only foster 0 to 2 at the start because my littlest is two.
Any other information would be lovely, did they had it hard to get excepted to foster ?
And we're there children young when they started to foster ?
Sorry about the loads of questions, I am just so excited to find out any information that might help me, I am also going to ask my children's school if I can help with story time or going in to help with a maths lesson.( I only get 2 mornings a week without LO )

Thanks so much and hope to speak to you soon.xx

Also if there is any more big family who foster I would love to hear from you..

It sounds like your agency subscribes to the theory of birth order. Some people believe that changing birth order can cause problems.

Keep in mind that all my information is about the Canadian system so I don't know if it works the same in other areas.

My friend was in a unique situation where she worked with kids before fostering so she had lots of experience.

When she started fostering she didn't have any kids. When we start fostering here we get to choose the age of the children we work with. I have never heard of anyone being limited to an age. She ended up having kids of her own (twins) while she was fostering 4 teens. She continued to foster teens. There was a relationship breakdown and eventually she married someone with their own three kids. At this time the kids are about 7 (twins) and the other three are teens and much older. They now choose to foster 6-8 year olds.

I would say defiantly don't stress over being "limited" to 0-2. We started with infants and since we had a crib and all our worker listed us 0-3 so we could get use of the baby stuff. 0-3 seems to be a wide range because we don't have any problem getting kids. Many people don't want that age because it's a lot of work. We get a lot of newborns from the hospital. You could get a lot of turn around at that age because I believe that workers are cautious about leaving young ones in a questionable situation so they may be taken quicker. Things get resolved and they go home. It's not always the case though.

We were only accepting 1 child at a time for a while and we had a child we received at 5 months. Once she was around 10 months we said we would take another child. Two weeks later we received a 2 week old. We haven't received kids over 9 months so we don't get close to 3 years.

We have a rule in Canada that a child under 6 is only supposed to stay in care 1 year. At the one year mark the child is supposed to either go home or go for adoption. This is why there is quicker turn over. But then it's the courts. My little one is 10 months and they don't know what the plan is for the 1 year mark.

I like taking infants because there are less behavioural issues and you don't experience the psychological damage that the older kids have experienced. You would be amazed/scared to see what you have to deal with when you get older than about 2. The kids that I get are just average infants and they don't know what is going on. Keep in mind that there are many infants that you could get that have extremely high needs ie. drug addicted, alcohol exposure, and delivered preterm. But I would imagine you would be able to decide if that is something that you are able to handle.

Another think that you have to remember about infants is that the parents get more visits. I have had kids get up to 3 visits per week. More visits are required with the younger children in order to retain the bond.

Well I think that should answer all your questions, I know I went on a bit. If you have any other questions about fostering I can answer based on my Canadian experience.

 

[LolaM]

wow. in my state, in the US, any child can be in care for 15 months, at that point a plan already has to be in place. they need to be home with bio parents or in their adoptive home. my baby is 8 months and he has a visit once a week, but only for the last month or so b/c mom has been MIA and we are moving to terminate her rights, and i am praying desperatly that we get to keep the little guy as we have grown very attatched to him over the last 6 months

 

[TTC First]

wow. in my state, in the US, any child can be in care for 15 months, at that point a plan already has to be in place. they need to be home with bio parents or in their adoptive home. my baby is 8 months and he has a visit once a week, but only for the last month or so b/c mom has been MIA and we are moving to terminate her rights, and i am praying desperatly that we get to keep the little guy as we have grown very attatched to him over the last 6 months

Wow 15 months, I thought 12 was long. I think for older kids it's like 3 years. With that being said, some older kids end up stuck in the system and younger ones are in longer because of court delays.

The parent of the 10 month old is young and really not prepared for a baby, and doest have support. Visits are here and there when they decide to show up. The worker doesn't have anything concrete to prove them being unfit because there is nothing typical like abuse or drugs. Court will be at 12 months and we don't know what the decision will be. Court could give them extra time. We are crossing our fingers that the baby is not sent home because there is so way it will be successful. I don't work and have a husband, I couldn't imagine taking on this very active little one on my own while working.

Isn't it tough when you don't know what the future holds and you just want the best for these babies?

 

[LolaM]

wow. in my state, in the US, any child can be in care for 15 months, at that point a plan already has to be in place. they need to be home with bio parents or in their adoptive home. my baby is 8 months and he has a visit once a week, but only for the last month or so b/c mom has been MIA and we are moving to terminate her rights, and i am praying desperatly that we get to keep the little guy as we have grown very attatched to him over the last 6 months

Wow 15 months, I thought 12 was long. I think for older kids it's like 3 years. With that being said, some older kids end up stuck in the system and younger ones are in longer because of court delays.

The parent of the 10 month old is young and really not prepared for a baby, and doest have support. Visits are here and there when they decide to show up. The worker doesn't have anything concrete to prove them being unfit because there is nothing typical like abuse or drugs. Court will be at 12 months and we don't know what the decision will be. Court could give them extra time. We are crossing our fingers that the baby is not sent home because there is so way it will be successful. I don't work and have a husband, I couldn't imagine taking on this very active little one on my own while working.

Isn't it tough when you don't know what the future holds and you just want the best for these babies?

That is what is happening with this lil family. they wanted us to take the 2 siblings that need way more care than my husband and i can give them, yet they imagine somewhere in their tiny little brains that a teenager with no family support and ongoing mental and drug issues can care for them??? How??? We have an 8 month old and sometimes, it takes both of us to care for him! here, there IS no extra time. parents comply or kids are adopted to a healthy family that will care for them properly.

 

[helloeveryone]

TTF FIRST,
Thanks so much for telling me this, I was getting so worried that I was the only big family out there trying to foster... Can I ask if you know how old our your friends bio children and how old is there foster children..
We have been told we can only foster 0 to 2 at the start because my littlest is two.
Any other information would be lovely, did they had it hard to get excepted to foster ?
And we're there children young when they started to foster ?
Sorry about the loads of questions, I am just so excited to find out any information that might help me, I am also going to ask my children's school if I can help with story time or going in to help with a maths lesson.( I only get 2 mornings a week without LO )

Thanks so much and hope to speak to you soon.xx

Also if there is any more big family who foster I would love to hear from you..

It sounds like your agency subscribes to the theory of birth order. Some people believe that changing birth order can cause problems.

Keep in mind that all my information is about the Canadian system so I don't know if it works the same in other areas.

My friend was in a unique situation where she worked with kids before fostering so she had lots of experience.

When she started fostering she didn't have any kids. When we start fostering here we get to choose the age of the children we work with. I have never heard of anyone being limited to an age. She ended up having kids of her own (twins) while she was fostering 4 teens. She continued to foster teens. There was a relationship breakdown and eventually she married someone with their own three kids. At this time the kids are about 7 (twins) and the other three are teens and much older. They now choose to foster 6-8 year olds.

I would say defiantly don't stress over being "limited" to 0-2. We started with infants and since we had a crib and all our worker listed us 0-3 so we could get use of the baby stuff. 0-3 seems to be a wide range because we don't have any problem getting kids. Many people don't want that age because it's a lot of work. We get a lot of newborns from the hospital. You could get a lot of turn around at that age because I believe that workers are cautious about leaving young ones in a questionable situation so they may be taken quicker. Things get resolved and they go home. It's not always the case though.

We were only accepting 1 child at a time for a while and we had a child we received at 5 months. Once she was around 10 months we said we would take another child. Two weeks later we received a 2 week old. We haven't received kids over 9 months so we don't get close to 3 years.

We have a rule in Canada that a child under 6 is only supposed to stay in care 1 year. At the one year mark the child is supposed to either go home or go for adoption. This is why there is quicker turn over. But then it's the courts. My little one is 10 months and they don't know what the plan is for the 1 year mark.

I like taking infants because there are less behavioural issues and you don't experience the psychological damage that the older kids have experienced. You would be amazed/scared to see what you have to deal with when you get older than about 2. The kids that I get are just average infants and they don't know what is going on. Keep in mind that there are many infants that you could get that have extremely high needs ie. drug addicted, alcohol exposure, and delivered preterm. But I would imagine you would be able to decide if that is something that you are able to handle.

Another think that you have to remember about infants is that the parents get more visits. I have had kids get up to 3 visits per week. More visits are required with the younger children in order to retain the bond.

Well I think that should answer all your questions, I know I went on a bit. If you have any other questions about fostering I can answer based on my Canadian experience.

Thanks so much for all this information, I think I would prefer the baby age group,because I have to drive all my children to school,and driving to another area to get. Them to there school might be a lot of more driving for me,
I have to say a am very good with baby's and seem to know what they need and want,but I know having someone else's baby's would be different say they might cry somewhat more.
I am so excited to get started with all the foster checks and meetings,I am a little bit shy so I hope that doesn't go against me.
Take care xx

 

[helloeveryone]

LOLAM, hi thanks for stopping by again,how's things going with your baby and how old is he now ?
Are you trying to foster me babies or one day some children...?
Time for a before my kids need to get ready for school.
Take care xxx