Losing my mind

[s_love]

thats all

 

[sadangel777]

What's wrong, Love?

 

[Coolstar]

Yes love, what happened?

 

[s_love]

Just a frustrating day. I had a job interview and it was way across town, I got lost. The job I applied for was a daytime position but when we were talking she told me it was overnights and I just can't do overnight. Got a test grade back from school and i failed, period still isnt here and doctor hasnt returned my phone call about how to get everything going so we can do this HSG aaaaaaaannnnnnd another friend announced her pregnancy on FB with ultrasound pictures and her dog wearing a sign that sd "future big brother". Just frustrating stuff too early in the day for me

 

[Coolstar]

Oh love i am so sorry you are having a hard time.Call your doc again to jump start your AF.Also you said that you have been diagnosed with high estrogen,wont your doc be giving you any med for that? Forget about FB.Just yest evening 1 of my friend posted a pic of her with her bump .I was devastated and hid her post.In my FB friend list most of the ladies are mom or pregnant and those who are not i am 100% sure they are not trying to get pregnant.

 

[s_love]

I'm feeling better, I went through my Facebook and his some people... I felt bad doing it but it needed to be done. I'm just not able to be 100% happy for them, as selfish as that sounds.
I have high Prolactin and I'm not producing Estrogen, the doc I have now wont give me any meds until after the MRI to confirm the tumor on the pituitary- and even then I'm not sure if she is going to prescribe me meds or let the specialist she is referring me to do it. I have no Clomid, no nothing. I called and left a message again... It's just a whole lot of waiting.
I'm mostly disappointed about the job, the lady even told me I was a perfect fit... Then we started talking hours and pay... If I work nights I'd be leaving as soon as my husband got off work and coming home when he's leaving plus since I'd be the new person, I'd have weekend duty... Just not what I'm willing to do for the money they offered. I thought I'd get something to do during the day to keep my mind busy, but not this time. Oh well keep looking I guess.

 

[sadangel777]

Sorry to hear that, love.

You can find something better. im dealing with schedule issues now with being "promoted" ... thought it would be better but its making things harder. Im glad u didnt take it, esp if the pay wasnt high enough. u will b better off to get the right fit for u.

i hid all preggos on my fb, dont feel bad. they r so obnoxious!

Hope u get some answers soon. try to hang in there.

 

[Coolstar]

Yes love, i am sure you will get a job which suits you soon.Also while ttc it is diff to do night shifts specially for ladies like us who dont get pregnant even after timing every thing correctly
Angel how r the things at your end?
About me i would be going for CD21 on Thursday but i am really scared .I have a feeling that the blood report will say that my progesterone level is still very low.

 

[sadangel777]

Aww, Cool -- good luck Thursday. You are probably worrying for nothing.

I'm OK; starting round 4 of Clomid tomorrow (cd5-9 this time). Go in mid-cycle for a follicle scan like last time and hope to get some swimmers in around OV time!

 

[Coolstar]

All the best Angel.Just wanted to ask why are you shifting clomid from CD3-7 to CD5-9 ? I would update about my test when i get the result.My doc told me to take Clomid from CD5-9 and i would ov around CD16 to CD17 but then i ov either on CD12 or CD13 so i am thinking clomid did not work.

 

[sadangel777]

Hmm, maybe you geared up to OV early but didn't -- are you basing your ov on temps or opks? I found ever since i started clomid, tracking ov got harder because it threw everything off.

My new doc wants to do a follicle scan at beginning of cycle and wont let me start meds until wednesday because the earliest i can get in there is friday for the first scan (wednesday is the latest i can start the clomid). Apparently they want to make sure my ovaries arent overstimulated, so friday i will have only had 2 doses if i take it at night, and if my ovaries dont look good then i can stop the meds. Its odd because my other doc just gave me the clomid and never looked at my ovaries! But this place does more monitoring and more treatments ... so i guess its a good thing. hopefully i dont ov too late since im starting the clomid later. ... this is all so confusing!

 

[s_love]

It is so confusing but hopefully this plan works! It's funny how all doctors do everything so differently... It's hard to keep up!

Still waiting for my doctor to call me back.

 

[s_love]

I'm upset with myself right now.... I'm on a few other threads, the women that complain constantly after only trying 3 months or less and then post their bfp just bother me! I am so upset that I can't be happy for others, I don't want to be that person! Am I so far gone that I can't be happy for anyone? Most of the women on this site are in the same boat...geez I feel like a shitty person.

 

[Conceive81]

I'm upset with myself right now.... I'm on a few other threads, the women that complain constantly after only trying 3 months or less and then post their bfp just bother me! I am so upset that I can't be happy for others, I don't want to be that person! Am I so far gone that I can't be happy for anyone? Most of the women on this site are in the same boat...geez I feel like a shitty person.

One's own misery is the most terrible misery...It's a struggle to be happy for others when you want something so badly that is not happening, but you have to remember that your time will come, and you will want others to be happy for you when it does. I would recommend getting off that particular thread, they just aren't in the same place is all...

 

[Conceive81]

HOLY crap. I'm ovulating and we only bd'd on Sunday due to crazy workloads. Don't think I'll get one in tonight I hope I didn't miss the boat.

 

[s_love]

There's def a chance!fingers crossed... You should try your hardest tonight and tomorrow!

 

[Conceive81]

There's def a chance!fingers crossed... You should try your hardest tonight and tomorrow!

I don't think it'll happen tonight. Why does this have to be so hard

 

[Conceive81]

Has anyone ever tried the soft cup method? I'm wondering if I should try that next month....

 

[s_love]

I never have, but I have read a lot on them. Some ladies swear by them...

 

[Coolstar]

Angel: I am basing my ov on opk and bbt temp.Its good that now they are monitoring so much.I really hope you get your BFP this cycle.FXD for you.
Conceive81: Even i have never used soft cup.But i read it helps you with the leakage.
love:Even i am so upset,depressed,sad and miserable .I just opened FB and one of my college friend posted.Both my wife and baby doing fine.I did not know his wife was pregnant but i don't feel happy for anyone who announces pregnancies.It's not fair not at all.I hate everyone.Oh God, i hate myself and i have so much rage inside.I guess getting pregnant is one of the most easy thing in this world then why it has to be so tough for us????? I feel like crying wish i could say it's Clomid side effect but i know it's not.I just wish i could run off to some place and live in isolation.I cannot take this anymore.I have became such a miserable person.I am going insane.I don't find happiness in another person happiness.I have became so selfish, i am not the person i used to be.