Losing my mind

[s_love]

Thanks ladies. I'm giving hubby space but I just hate knowing he's upset. No he's not going with me to the FS, sometime I think he doesn't like to I ow all the information and what we are up against. He's also one of those "shake it off" people... It's like I'm sometimes not allowed to be upset about all of this.

Ya know I was always hoping I'd be able to tell my family at Christmas that we were expecting, but I know that's not going to happen... Tht would have made my holiday for sure.

 

[aknqtpie]

I am sure that whenever you are able to tell them you are expecting they will be just as happy! Christmas would be so awesome... but so would Valentines Day, Presidents Day, MLK Day ... Lots more holidays coming up

 

[Coolstar]

Welcome, Mona!

Conceive, have you tested yet?

Horsey, I hope you get some answers soon.

I'm doing better today; I think the trigger shot made me super emo on Saturday. But still, DH won't admit he has a problem. Says it isn't always as explosive, and is hurt that I don't believe him. I guess putting the spotlight on him isn't going to help. But I think I'm taking December off of the hormones because it doesn't seem to be worth it. ... I'll get back to TTC in January, I guess, and hopefully his problem will resolve.

Angel I think it is a good idea to take a break.I wanted to take 2/3 months break from Dec but my DH wants to try till Dec and take a break next yr.I have agreed so 2 more cycles to go this yr and then from Jan we will take break till March.I cant continue like this .The last time i took a cycle off it was really relaxing.

 

[Chris_25]

Chris ... I feel you on the husband thing. I can't cry in front of him, because his thing is "snap out of it".. I don't blame you for not wanting to celebrate the holidays. I hope that your IUI does what it needs to this cycle. Have you done it already, and when do you test?

Thank you yea I'm due for AF on Sunday and I can feel the cramps and lower backache and boob pain starting today
I refuse to take tests unless I'm a week or 2 late lol I just cant stand seeing that 1 line it's so depressing.
Anyway how are u doing?

 

[Coolstar]

Conceive-give it a few more days then test.

Angel as hard as a break might be I think it's a good thing and I feel like i'm in need I just need the courage.

Love- I'm sorry to hear about DH's friend that's so sad give him time men are very difficult when it comes to emotions. At least my husband is! Hope your headache gets better.

Horsey-I hope you get some answers!

Mona- Welcome to this forum and we all understand the struggles and heartache!

AFM- I am having a crappy day and just so down and depressed. I'm not sure what to do with myself and am so alone. Many family members suck, many friends suck work even is sucking... My husband will never know exactly how I feel because men are different than women. I have no one i'm going back to the doctor next week even though he doesn't wanna see me until a 3rd round of IUI but I want answers and some different medications if AF comes this month! I am due on Sunday...
I just can't be happy no matter what and I don't want to celebrate the holidays. I just pray this happens :/

Chris i am keeping fingers Xed for you.I know what you are going through .Even i feel so depressed nowadays.Yes u r 100% correct men can never feel a women's pain .Life is so unfair but then miracles do happen to you.

 

[s_love]

Well ladies I just got a call that my bc was available to pick up from the pharmacy. I guess my psycho rant worked! I didn't even know she called it in! I'm happy right now : ) finally something worked out

 

[Coolstar]

Oh i am so happy for you love.Something finally worked . I was feeling sad today, just now had a talk with my dh over the ph and he said that i should be little more optimistic otherwise nothing good will happen in our life.I think it is true.I will try not to think about ttc and hopefully i can take things as they come

 

[horseypants]

thank goodness. i'm really sorry about your OH's friend, s_love.

this is the same doc I've been seeing since the latest d&c. she's an upgrade from the first two docs! i love her.

awww coolstar - sending you positive thoughts

chris & Conceive81

aknqtpie, what's the haps with you?

angel, i think your OH is as stubborn as mine and i am so completely amazed there are two of their kind in the world. ...although, mine can be "not explosive" too, which i've recently taken to worrying about.

did anyone have to pay out of pocket for SA? we may have to and im wondering whether it's a pretty penny. also, can he just ask his doc to order the tests or do we have to see a FS?

 

[aknqtpie]

Chris - Fx'd that it isn't AF showing up. I don't blame you for waiting 2 weeks, but we will all be excited to know!!!

Cool - Optimism is good. I keep trying to remind myself to be positive.. helps put me in a better mood at least

Love - Glad your psycho rant worked.. sometimes you just gotta be a bitch to get what you want.

Horsey - Just experiencing the longest m/c ever known to (wo)man... going in for another round of HCG testing tomorrow. Will know the results on wednesday.

 

[horseypants]

ok - if the last two were any indication, mine are loooooong too. isnt life unfair. oooop! pegasus and unicorn - think positive

seriously, it's effin' unfair. i watched a bunch of youtube videos on miscarriage earlier this morning and while trying not to cry, all i could think is, what?! no one had the long drawn out month and half bleeding like me? this past time, even with the d&c, it is taking forever to feel that there's even some semblance of getting back on track with my cycle. it keeps getting more and more messed up. and of course, recovering from a d&c is just terrifying stuff. i keep telling myself if i did it again, i'd go natural, although i guess the issue is that after a certain point, it's risky to do that. not that i want to do that crap again. ever. kind of like i never wanted to do it the first or second time. wow. im not doing so good with the positivity, sorry.

 

[aknqtpie]

Eh ... A month ago I would of agreed with you on life not being fair, but over the last couple weeks I have realized, that with the exception of my m/c and having to take my cat to the pound, my life has been pretty good. I have a good job, a house, a good DH, other pets that love me.. sometimes I think about how everything isn't fair, but I figure I will get what I want one way or another. Just have to face the challenges one day at a time...

I am feeling slightly optimistic today... tomorrow is another story.

 

[horseypants]

yeah, you have a really good attitude. not me so much generally and i admit it. though imma blame it on hormones.

 

[aknqtpie]

Not always.. its just a facade... today I am having a good attitude.. lol

You can always blame it on the A-A-A-Alcohol... Like Jamie Foxx does.

 

[horseypants]

that sounds wonderful right now. it has been a looooong day.

 

[Coolstar]

thank goodness. i'm really sorry about your OH's friend, s_love.

this is the same doc I've been seeing since the latest d&c. she's an upgrade from the first two docs! i love her.

awww coolstar - sending you positive thoughts

chris & Conceive81

aknqtpie, what's the haps with you?

angel, i think your OH is as stubborn as mine and i am so completely amazed there are two of their kind in the world. ...although, mine can be "not explosive" too, which i've recently taken to worrying about.

did anyone have to pay out of pocket for SA? we may have to and im wondering whether it's a pretty penny. also, can he just ask his doc to order the tests or do we have to see a FS?

My DH was suppose to do a SA but till now he has not done it .I had called the hospital and they told me it would cost 115$ without insurance.Our insurance does not cover it.Yes your DH can ask his doc for SA.You don't need FS for that.For me my Doc wanted him to do SA before i started Clomid.

 

[Coolstar]

Eh ... A month ago I would of agreed with you on life not being fair, but over the last couple weeks I have realized, that with the exception of my m/c and having to take my cat to the pound, my life has been pretty good. I have a good job, a house, a good DH, other pets that love me.. sometimes I think about how everything isn't fair, but I figure I will get what I want one way or another. Just have to face the challenges one day at a time...

I am feeling slightly optimistic today... tomorrow is another story.

So true aknqtpie.We should always remember what we have in life and be grateful.And i know what I am going through is nothing compared to you

 

[aknqtpie]

Cool - You are going through something different, and it is just as stressful and heartbreaking. So don't discount it.

 

[Conceive81]

Hi Ladies! Ooh, I missed a lot today!

I have so much to say based on your posts;

s_love, I'm so very sorry for your hubby's loss. You're right about giving him space, men need to go to their caves to grieve sometimes. My prayers are with you both and his friend's family. Good luck on your appointment, please keep us posted! I know what you mean about a holiday BFP, although I'm not picky anymore

Horsey, hang in there, hon. A good friend of mine had a m/c recently and it took 2 cycles to get back on track. You have to let your body heal, and I know it's hard, patience isn't easy when you want something so badly. As far as an S/A out of pocket, $150 or so sounds about right. His doc can definitely get the order for it. That's what I did with my hubby and just got copies for my Specialist.

Chris, I'm curious that you're already feeling AF pains when you're only due on Sunday? Is that normal for you?

Coollstar, Amen on the optimistic attitude! So nice to see. Optimism always helps.

As for me, first, thank you all for the babydust wishes! I'll be honest and tell you that I did test last night with an opk which had a faint line, maybe that's a good sign? I've read controversial stories about using opk's for pregnancy (was reading up on that on twoweekwait.com.

I had a pretty difficult day, woke up pale as a ghost, no nausea but just blah. Felt dizzy and hungry...AF feels like she will be starting any minute, so I won't be bothering to test with real tests Still have weird smelling discharge, don't know what that's about, it's not a yeast infection. I can only attribute it to the softcups. I usually don't cramp this much before AF so that's definitely something new.

 

[aknqtpie]

If AF doesn't show in a few days, get some real tests. I have heard that OPKs can work, but I think you have to have quite a bit of HCG for it to really work.. I think you always have a little LH in your system so you a light line will always show on the OPKs..

Wondering if the discharge could be related? When I got mine, I had a lot more discharge than normal, and it had a different smell (not bad, but different).

 

[Conceive81]

If AF doesn't show in a few days, get some real tests. I have heard that OPKs can work, but I think you have to have quite a bit of HCG for it to really work.. I think you always have a little LH in your system so you a light line will always show on the OPKs..

Wondering if the discharge could be related? When I got mine, I had a lot more discharge than normal, and it had a different smell (not bad, but different).

Ur right about the opks. Will wait a few days. The smell isn't bad but definitely different. Starting symptoms of a cold tonight to boot!