LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[KatO79]

KatO - I'll admit I posted of FB as soon as they accepted the offer lol. I just made sure I said something about how i was hoping the inspection didn't find something crazy because I loved the house. So excited for you. I know moving is so much work but it's so much fun. (well I kind of sat around drinking wine while my DH packed haha) totally bit me in the butt when I unpacked and found he packed the dumbest of things (example we ended up with 5 toasters... because he liked they had "poptart settings).

Oh that's what I was tempted to do as soon as DH called and let me know I did tell my closest friend (the childish one) via SMS but she hasn't responded, which is unfortunately her norm since she got that boyfriend Yeah moving isn't much fun, I absolutely hate packing and the unpacking is about just as bad I don't think I can get my DH to let me off the hook though I even mentioned that if this IVF works, I'll be about 4 months along when we can start moving (since it'll be in April) and won't be able to pick up heavy boxes, DH's response was he was sure that he could find lots for me to do that don't involve much lifting if that's the case We'll also have his parents, 2 brothers and most likely his cousin to help us with the actual move which is nice since the men can take care of the heavy boxes

AFM Called the hospital and I'm going in for my baseline scan tomorrow at 8 AM. FXed there are no cysts and everything looks good!

The secretary was kinda annoying today since she didn't at first get why I was calling and told her I got AF (how does everyone else say it over the phone?), then she first heard me wrong with my social security number and then took a long time to find my journal but I think unfortunately all journals are on paper and they have no computer system

 

[Myshelsong]

In my clinic we say "i am on cycle day one" not sure if it is code, but it is what we do lol.

I had a herniated disc during our last move and since hubs was in ontario already had to pack the whole house myself. We ended up getting movers to move the boxes for us on the actual date, but it was the worst. Good luck packing, I found it really cathartic to go through and figure out what we could use and donate.

I am currently trying to restart my online craft business, but cant think of anything else to do or advertise for free. Any ideas for Canada?

 

[KatO79]

In my clinic we say "i am on cycle day one" not sure if it is code, but it is what we do lol.

I had a herniated disc during our last move and since hubs was in ontario already had to pack the whole house myself. We ended up getting movers to move the boxes for us on the actual date, but it was the worst. Good luck packing, I found it really cathartic to go through and figure out what we could use and donate.

I am currently trying to restart my online craft business, but cant think of anything else to do or advertise for free. Any ideas for Canada?

I think that would've confused her as well, maybe even more. I don't know what she was expecting it to mean other than I was telling her AF came today and am ready to start my next round. So strange, the IUI clinic always got it so don't know what the hospital wants, maybe I should ask the RE tomorrow how the secretaries expect it to be said if there's a next time.

Oy having a back issue makes the whole thing sound worse but lucky you had hired people to move the boxes and stuff. Here it's way too expensive to hire professional movers so we always try to do it ourselves. DH actually has a license to drive largeish vans so it's just cheaper to rent a van and do it ourselves with help from his family. It'll only cost us a couple of beers instead As to throwing stuff out, I doubt that very much will be donated or thrown out as we did that semi-recently

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from the RE and I'll be on 300 IU Bemfola for the next week (start tonight) and go in again on the 13th for my next scan. From the 12th I start also injecting Cetrotide to prevent early O. She could already see 6-7 follies I think so here's hoping we get a couple of more as well. Definitely hoping we get more than 3 this time!

 

[swimmyj1]

Yay for your scan!!! I hope you get like 6+ fingers are sooo crossed for this round. I think when I called my fertility docs office I just would say I started my period and I need to start the next round and get appointments made.

 

[KatO79]

Yay for your scan!!! I hope you get like 6+ fingers are sooo crossed for this round. I think when I called my fertility docs office I just would say I started my period and I need to start the next round and get appointments made.

Thanks swimmy Yeah plus that they're all good quality of course since that's also pretty important

Ok I'll try saying something similiar if there's a next time but here's hoping there isn't My RE seems very keen on getting me pregnant for real this time

 

[swimmyj1]

Lol well I hope your RE is right!

 

[KatO79]

Lol well I hope your RE is right!

Yeah here's hoping!

Also DH's grandmother is in her mid-90s now and I would love for her to at least get to see her future great-grandchild I still remember when I told her we were having issues and were doing IUI after New Years in November 2014, she was so excited and said she hoped she soon would have another great-grandchild. It'd be so sad if she doesn't reach to at least see the child

 

[DBZ34]

DBZ - I would be ticked!! How can they wait until 6+ before doing anything!!! you need to find someone else. You don't need to keep having mc if they are preventable. I'm so sorry your going through this.

KatO - I'll admit I posted of FB as soon as they accepted the offer lol. I just made sure I said something about how i was hoping the inspection didn't find something crazy because I loved the house. So excited for you. I know moving is so much work but it's so much fun. (well I kind of sat around drinking wine while my DH packed haha) totally bit me in the butt when I unpacked and found he packed the dumbest of things (example we ended up with 5 toasters... because he liked they had "poptart settings).

Swimmy- Yeah. I was pretty unimpressed when he first said that he wanted to wait for me to m/c again and do the testing then instead of continuing to do more rmc testing.

Now, I've made it to that point and he's now telling me that he doesn't want to test the embryo unless I make it past 6 weeks. I was so pissed off and fed up. I'm sightly less angry now....but not by much.

I mean, he could have told me that when we were first discussing it and I would have brought up the fact that I have never made it past 6 weeks, so his plan wasn't going to work. But no...he didn't. And I went through the trouble of collecting my "products of conception" (as my nurse likes to say) and for what? For no reason.

We have an appointment with him at the end of the month. DH wants to hear him out and see what his idea of "the next steps" are. I told DH I would give him this meeting, but if he doesn't become more proactive about figuring out what's going on with me, I'm going to look into switching doctors within the practice. And really, at this point, I'm just hoping I don't completely flip out on him. I do not want to m/c again. Why am I paying him if he's not going to investigate and figure out what's going on with me so it doesn't have to happen again?

 

[swimmyj1]

Dbz - our fertility doc doesn't test embroys under 6 weeks because he said there can be very inacurrate results. But they should be doing a ton of tests on both of you. Genetic, clotting, progesterone, sonohystogram, estrogen, semen analysis. And a ton more those are just standard when working up for multiple losses. I don blame you for not wanting to go to this meeting, I hope this doc has his act together and has a plan

 

[KatO79]

Swimmy- Yeah. I was pretty unimpressed when he first said that he wanted to wait for me to m/c again and do the testing then instead of continuing to do more rmc testing.

Now, I've made it to that point and he's now telling me that he doesn't want to test the embryo unless I make it past 6 weeks. I was so pissed off and fed up. I'm sightly less angry now....but not by much.

I mean, he could have told me that when we were first discussing it and I would have brought up the fact that I have never made it past 6 weeks, so his plan wasn't going to work. But no...he didn't. And I went through the trouble of collecting my "products of conception" (as my nurse likes to say) and for what? For no reason.

We have an appointment with him at the end of the month. DH wants to hear him out and see what his idea of "the next steps" are. I told DH I would give him this meeting, but if he doesn't become more proactive about figuring out what's going on with me, I'm going to look into switching doctors within the practice. And really, at this point, I'm just hoping I don't completely flip out on him. I do not want to m/c again. Why am I paying him if he's not going to investigate and figure out what's going on with me so it doesn't have to happen again?

Oh DBZ, you're perfectly within your right to be unsatisfied with your RE. He sounds a bit incompetent if you ask me. I'd say if he doesn't come with a clear and precise plan, then dump him. I'm starting to wonder if he's delaying things to make more money? Have you tried researching other patients' experiences with him?

My only concern would be that it could be uncomfortable and awkward to switch REs within the practice. The other REs may give you a hard time if your current RE is well-liked and respected by the others. It might be worth switching clinics, even if their success rates are a tad lower than the one your using. Plus success rates can be determined in many ways, I'm sure clinics calculate them differently and the more shady ones will probably do what they can to make their clinic look best. Statistics can be messed with. I'd say if the difference isn't really big, then it may be worth switching clinics entirely. Try researching the different clinics and REs, what are people's experiences, have people been generally very positive or negative about their expereince with said clinic or RE. That's what I did when deciding between the 2-3 IUI clinics we could choose from back when we got our referral.

 

[DBZ34]

Swimmy- Yeah. I was pretty unimpressed when he first said that he wanted to wait for me to m/c again and do the testing then instead of continuing to do more rmc testing.

Now, I've made it to that point and he's now telling me that he doesn't want to test the embryo unless I make it past 6 weeks. I was so pissed off and fed up. I'm sightly less angry now....but not by much.

I mean, he could have told me that when we were first discussing it and I would have brought up the fact that I have never made it past 6 weeks, so his plan wasn't going to work. But no...he didn't. And I went through the trouble of collecting my "products of conception" (as my nurse likes to say) and for what? For no reason.

We have an appointment with him at the end of the month. DH wants to hear him out and see what his idea of "the next steps" are. I told DH I would give him this meeting, but if he doesn't become more proactive about figuring out what's going on with me, I'm going to look into switching doctors within the practice. And really, at this point, I'm just hoping I don't completely flip out on him. I do not want to m/c again. Why am I paying him if he's not going to investigate and figure out what's going on with me so it doesn't have to happen again?

Oh DBZ, you're perfectly within your right to be unsatisfied with your RE. He sounds a bit incompetent if you ask me. I'd say if he doesn't come with a clear and precise plan, then dump him. I'm starting to wonder if he's delaying things to make more money? Have you tried researching other patients' experiences with him?

My only concern would be that it could be uncomfortable and awkward to switch REs within the practice. The other REs may give you a hard time if your current RE is well-liked and respected by the others. It might be worth switching clinics, even if their success rates are a tad lower than the one your using. Plus success rates can be determined in many ways, I'm sure clinics calculate them differently and the more shady ones will probably do what they can to make their clinic look best. Statistics can be messed with. I'd say if the difference isn't really big, then it may be worth switching clinics entirely. Try researching the different clinics and REs, what are people's experiences, have people been generally very positive or negative about their expereince with said clinic or RE. That's what I did when deciding between the 2-3 IUI clinics we could choose from back when we got our referral.

The other day, when I was feeling more fed up with my FS, I looked into other practices and was reminded why I went to this one in the first place. The success rate is 15% higher than the other clinic in the area and it's highly recommended by the university hospital system. I did wonder if it would be awkward to switch within the practice, but such a difference in pregnancy rates between the practices makes me think it's worth it to stick around.

He may be highly regarded within the practice, but it's big enough that I think it should be okay. One of the newer doctors was absolutely lovely when she did my IUI and seemed more interested in me as a person even in that short interaction. And there's another doctor that has sooo many testimonials written about how great she is. So, I would try to switch to one of them and hope it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But, we'll see.

My FS has one more shot. I just want him to say something along the lines of "Let's keep testing and figure out what's going on." I kind of feel like he's going to say "Let's think about IVF" and spending thousands of dollars on IVF is the last thing I want to do if I'm just going to have another loss. But guess we'd be able to see what's going on with the embryos after fertilization and if they do PGD, we'd know if it was a chromosomal thing. But still...it's a lot of money and if there's something going on with me, it would be good to know before we sink all that cash in to IVF.

So, my plan is to go in with a list of tests we haven't done yet and ask him about them. I just really want answers.

 

[KatO79]

Swimmy- Yeah. I was pretty unimpressed when he first said that he wanted to wait for me to m/c again and do the testing then instead of continuing to do more rmc testing.

Now, I've made it to that point and he's now telling me that he doesn't want to test the embryo unless I make it past 6 weeks. I was so pissed off and fed up. I'm sightly less angry now....but not by much.

I mean, he could have told me that when we were first discussing it and I would have brought up the fact that I have never made it past 6 weeks, so his plan wasn't going to work. But no...he didn't. And I went through the trouble of collecting my "products of conception" (as my nurse likes to say) and for what? For no reason.

We have an appointment with him at the end of the month. DH wants to hear him out and see what his idea of "the next steps" are. I told DH I would give him this meeting, but if he doesn't become more proactive about figuring out what's going on with me, I'm going to look into switching doctors within the practice. And really, at this point, I'm just hoping I don't completely flip out on him. I do not want to m/c again. Why am I paying him if he's not going to investigate and figure out what's going on with me so it doesn't have to happen again?

Oh DBZ, you're perfectly within your right to be unsatisfied with your RE. He sounds a bit incompetent if you ask me. I'd say if he doesn't come with a clear and precise plan, then dump him. I'm starting to wonder if he's delaying things to make more money? Have you tried researching other patients' experiences with him?

My only concern would be that it could be uncomfortable and awkward to switch REs within the practice. The other REs may give you a hard time if your current RE is well-liked and respected by the others. It might be worth switching clinics, even if their success rates are a tad lower than the one your using. Plus success rates can be determined in many ways, I'm sure clinics calculate them differently and the more shady ones will probably do what they can to make their clinic look best. Statistics can be messed with. I'd say if the difference isn't really big, then it may be worth switching clinics entirely. Try researching the different clinics and REs, what are people's experiences, have people been generally very positive or negative about their expereince with said clinic or RE. That's what I did when deciding between the 2-3 IUI clinics we could choose from back when we got our referral.

The other day, when I was feeling more fed up with my FS, I looked into other practices and was reminded why I went to this one in the first place. The success rate is 15% higher than the other clinic in the area and it's highly recommended by the university hospital system. I did wonder if it would be awkward to switch within the practice, but such a difference in pregnancy rates between the practices makes me think it's worth it to stick around.

He may be highly regarded within the practice, but it's big enough that I think it should be okay. One of the newer doctors was absolutely lovely when she did my IUI and seemed more interested in me as a person even in that short interaction. And there's another doctor that has sooo many testimonials written about how great she is. So, I would try to switch to one of them and hope it wouldn't be that big of a deal. But, we'll see.

My FS has one more shot. I just want him to say something along the lines of "Let's keep testing and figure out what's going on." I kind of feel like he's going to say "Let's think about IVF" and spending thousands of dollars on IVF is the last thing I want to do if I'm just going to have another loss. But guess we'd be able to see what's going on with the embryos after fertilization and if they do PGD, we'd know if it was a chromosomal thing. But still...it's a lot of money and if there's something going on with me, it would be good to know before we sink all that cash in to IVF.

So, my plan is to go in with a list of tests we haven't done yet and ask him about them. I just really want answers.

I do wonder though if it's worth it for that extra 15% as you do end up risking things getting awkward and uncomfortable. I don't know the REs but you could risk some of them suddenly turning on you if you switch. Plus how would you feel about running into him, even if the chances are small?

You also need to be careful with the statistics as they may have tweeked the numbers to make things look better. That much difference makes me wonder how they're calculating that number as it seems extreme, especially given how your RE is handling your case since he doesn't seem very competent.

As for testimonials, where are they from? Are they shown by the clinic which may only be using the more positive ones or have you been researching these REs?

But I'm just throwing concerns and ideas out there though I do hope you can switch with little to no problems and that the next RE is better.

I will say this though: if he suggests doing IVF and won't listen to your wishes to get whatever testing done possible to try and determine the cause of your miscarriages, then he sounds either like he doesn't really care and/or he's out to squeeze as much money out of you as possible.

 

[Myshelsong]

Give him one more meeting and if you are not satisfied move on to another dr. You have to feel like your dr is doing all they can for you and obviously after so many losses they should be testing EVERYTHING!
I am so sorry Hun how crazy for you. No matter what happens I doubt he will blacklist you in the clinic, a lot of people switch Drs in the same clinic, it isn't a big deal at all. Don't feel weird.

 

[swimmyj1]

I switched doctors in my fertility clinic and there didn't seem to be any hard feelings. It's a very personal thing you should be comfortable with who you are working with.
Heck if I make it to 12 weeks I'm gonna look into switching obs in the practice I see. My current one has just rubbed me the wrong way a few times lol.

 

[KatO79]

So just got back from my 2nd scan and there are 4 follies like last time They measured 10, 11, 12 and 13 mm while my lining is 7 mm I think. The RE doesn't think any more follies will show up. But she still seemed pretty confident as she said that although I also had 4 last time, I also got 3 good quality eggs out of it. She's keeping me on the 300 IU Bemfola (and of course continue with the Cetrotide) and I go in again on Friday (January 15th).

So FXed all the eggs are of great quality

 

[DBZ34]

Kat - Well, I'm not sure if they tweaked those numbers, though they probably have more women coming to their clinic since they are recommended by the university hospital system. More women = better numbers? Those were the numbers reported to the government by both clinics that I compared, so I would hope they weren't exaggerated.

As for the testimonials, I did look at their website and there were more for one doctor at the practice than any of the others. But, my FS was one of two male doctors at the practice mentioned in the testimonials, funnily enough, when most of the doctors there are men. But, I did my research on a number of websites. One of the doctors who has some good testimonials on their website also has quite a few negative ones on other websites. One person described my experience with this doctor almost exactly (she did my first IUI and was pretty impersonal, like she didn't want to be there and I was just one of a number. No explanation, just wham bam, don't let the door hit you on the way out) but she obviously treats some people really wonderfully. I wonder if you have to catch her in a good mood or something.

But, she's not on my shortlist of doctors I would switch to if my FS decides not to listen to me or my requests for further testing.


Myshel - Thanks! I really want him to be on my side and push for the things that I need to have a successful pregnancy. I'm hoping that this next meeting will be really productive. But, I'm hopeful they won't blacklist me at the clinic. And who knows, maybe the doctor I switch to will have a pleasant nurse who doesn't give me the third degree when I call in for a refill on my progesterone prescription. My nurse seems ok in person, but on the phone she's got "talking bitch voice". She always sounds pissed off and annoyed. I've learned not to take it personally. lol


Swimmy- It is good to hear that you were able to switch without problem at your clinic. It's nice to know that other women do it too. Makes it feel less awkward.

 

[DBZ34]

Fx for great quality eggs, Kat!!

Will you put back more than one this time?

 

[KatO79]

Kat - Well, I'm not sure if they tweaked those numbers, though they probably have more women coming to their clinic since they are recommended by the university hospital system. More women = better numbers? Those were the numbers reported to the government by both clinics that I compared, so I would hope they weren't exaggerated.

As for the testimonials, I did look at their website and there were more for one doctor at the practice than any of the others. But, my FS was one of two male doctors at the practice mentioned in the testimonials, funnily enough, when most of the doctors there are men. But, I did my research on a number of websites. One of the doctors who has some good testimonials on their website also has quite a few negative ones on other websites. One person described my experience with this doctor almost exactly (she did my first IUI and was pretty impersonal, like she didn't want to be there and I was just one of a number. No explanation, just wham bam, don't let the door hit you on the way out) but she obviously treats some people really wonderfully. I wonder if you have to catch her in a good mood or something.

But, she's not on my shortlist of doctors I would switch to if my FS decides not to listen to me or my requests for further testing.

Number of women makes no difference as it's a procentage calculation. Yeah but the thing is you can tweak statistics and just not include certain people in it. They must have mentioned how they calculate their statistics and what the numbers are based on.

As for testimonials, always regard the ones on the clinic's own website with a certain amount of sceptism and do your own research. Clinics are always only going to put the positive ones up which doesn't give a clear picture of how good the RE actually is or what the REs attitude is like towards patients.

Fx for great quality eggs, Kat!!

Will you put back more than one this time?

Nope, it's forced on you by the clinic to only put 1 back in, no exceptions, you don't get a say. They claim it gives you higher chances since if you put 2 back in if one is of lesser quality than the other, it can result in none implanting. Plus they see twin preganancies as risky since they almost always are born earlier and there are often health complications with the babies afterwards.

 

[DBZ34]

Kat - Well, I'm not sure if they tweaked those numbers, though they probably have more women coming to their clinic since they are recommended by the university hospital system. More women = better numbers? Those were the numbers reported to the government by both clinics that I compared, so I would hope they weren't exaggerated.

As for the testimonials, I did look at their website and there were more for one doctor at the practice than any of the others. But, my FS was one of two male doctors at the practice mentioned in the testimonials, funnily enough, when most of the doctors there are men. But, I did my research on a number of websites. One of the doctors who has some good testimonials on their website also has quite a few negative ones on other websites. One person described my experience with this doctor almost exactly (she did my first IUI and was pretty impersonal, like she didn't want to be there and I was just one of a number. No explanation, just wham bam, don't let the door hit you on the way out) but she obviously treats some people really wonderfully. I wonder if you have to catch her in a good mood or something.

But, she's not on my shortlist of doctors I would switch to if my FS decides not to listen to me or my requests for further testing.

Number of women makes no difference as it's a procentage calculation. Yeah but the thing is you can tweak statistics and just not include certain people in it. They must have mentioned how they calculate their statistics and what the numbers are based on.

As for testimonials, always regard the ones on the clinic's own website with a certain amount of sceptism and do your own research. Clinics are always only going to put the positive ones up which doesn't give a clear picture of how good the RE actually is or what the REs attitude is like towards patients.

Fx for great quality eggs, Kat!!

Will you put back more than one this time?

Nope, it's forced on you by the clinic to only put 1 back in, no exceptions, you don't get a say. They claim it gives you higher chances since if you put 2 back in if one is of lesser quality than the other, it can result in none implanting. Plus they see twin preganancies as risky since they almost always are born earlier and there are often health complications with the babies afterwards.

I know that since it's a percentage, the number of women doesn't matter. I was thinking more along the lines of since they get more referrals, they may get more of the women who just need a little extra help to get pregnant, like a few doses of Clomid, and so their numbers are better because of this. And the other clinic gets more women who self-select as needing further help and may have a harder time getting pregnant. But that's a bit of a stretch and a lot of imagination.



Multiples do come with their own set of issues, that's true. I'm surprised you don't get a say in it at all though. I know IVF is covered for you, but how many goes could a person get on the government/insurance?