LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[pipilotta]

Where did Pipi and Flou go?

Hi everyone, sorry for not posting so long. I had to take some time to think about the job overseas, and what this means for our ivf and so on. I had an awesome interview for a job in Australia, and the job sounds like my dream job. Next week they fly me over for a second interview.

I know we couldn't go ahead with IVF, insurance would probably be a tad to high, unless dh would get an awesome job, which of course could happen. It is such a shame you have to choose, and that you have to wait for so long for public funded ivf. Peoples lifes can change within a year or two, and it seems a bit unfair we can't have both.

I will turn 35 soon, and if the second interview is good I hope we will succeed naturally, or maybe can look at ivf in a couple of years again. If I like the job and they give it to me then I will probably take it, as ivf is really no guarantee, and I'm not sure if I am prepared for a double blow if it doesn't work, no baby and no dream job.

Dovkav and Lorna, I will keep all my fingers crossed for you, I have a good feeling that something will happen for you soon.

Pblge

I will let you know how the interview goes.

 

[DAISYPRENCESS]

Hi pipilota,

You really face very difficult decision. GL with what every you decide to do and who know you might have two miracles .

 

[pbl_ge]

Flou, did AF come? DB, did you managed to get a ? FX that we're about to get a whole lot of bfps around here!!!

Myshel - So sorry for the emotional week. It sounds like OH is worried about you, and/or he wants a counselor himself. Men and i/f can be rough. I definitely considered getting a counselor at times, and went to a support group twice, but eventually decided that this forum was probably more effective for me (That means YOU, ladies!!! ). I'd say it's up to you, but I wonder if it wouldn't be more for OH than for you. Do you have good friends you talk about this with?

Pipi, sounds like you're really at a crossroads! Understand that taking some time. Good luck with such a difficult decision.

 

[TTCmyMIRACLE]

Good luck all who are testing this week! Fingers crossed for everyone.

AFM (as for me - which I only found out a few months ago so don't feel weird)
I had a crazy emotional day yesterday at work and then at home. Was crying almost the whole day in between clients. Not loud sobbing but quiet tears and puffy face. Hubby and I had a long talk and he thinks that we may need to see a counselor to help deal with infertility. I can't say that I am against it because I know that it is really hard dealing with me and dealing emotionally with this journey it just feels totally out of the blue. I feel so much better since starting acupuncture and yoga. I have more energy and more ... hope ... and I am not as angry as I have been, but I think Hubbers really needs to be able to express himself. He is going through a lot with work and his family and this so maybe we should....
I guess I am just not sure how I really feel about this. I guess I feel like it isn't going to do anything. the issue will still be there only now we have to talk to a stranger about our issues instead of talking to each other. Does anyone have any thoughts on this, or is anyone else seeking counseling and finding that it is helpful?

On another note, had a really good acupuncture session yesterday. She said my energy's are flowing 40% better than last time (if she has to quantify it) and I feel really relaxed and ready to catch the egg in the next day or to.

Hope everyone's weekend is going well.

I'm guessing that it wouldn't hurt to at least see what comes of it. Both of u may be able to get feelings out that might otherwise fester. I know it's a hard process for me but I pray daily to keep my faith strong. I have just had the belief that things don't happen on my time but when He makes things happen it's right on time and no one can take it from u. It's yours and u come out of it stronger than before. My husband has 3 boys from a previous marriage so now he is ready for his little girl. Everyone keeps asking when it will happen since we have been married for 2 years now. I just say only HE knows when it is the right time. I am 35 now and this is my 1st marriage. I just continue to have faith and believe. I am currently 17 days late. Last af was 10/4! Still lots of cm and nervously waiting on my appt Wednesday. I pray that it's not an ectopic or a health issue but that it's my baby girl growing in the right spot and healthy.

 

[flou]

Pipi good luck with the interview. Its a tough decision to make

myshel ive thought about having counseling. And i do think sometimes its a good idea to talk to someone who doesn't know you or your OH. Its a personal decision but if either of you thinks it may work trying it out won't do any harm.

AFM - AF was due Saturday but hasn't shown yet. However, i have had spotting. Saturday it started with some brown discharge and i thought AF was going to arrive that evening but never showed. Since then all cramping and all my PMS symptoms have gone! Today and Sunday i had some brown spotting. I'm expecting AF soon but this is strange for me.

 

[Myshelsong]

Flou that sounds promising, fingers crossed for you.
Are you doing any thing different this cycle? You were just reffered to a FS right? How long will that take?

Pipi - That is a hard decision and I have no idea what I would do in that situation. Hope it all works out and no matter what that you do what feels right for you.

Hubby and I talked again and all is alright, or at least as right as it can be. It turns out that he is where I was about 1 year ago with this whole LTTTC thing. He really expected it to happen naturally and that we would have been sucessful already and every month it doesn't happen he is getting more and more upset about it. I totally understand where he is and have those days where I am consumed by it (you can tell that by my crying first day of sex week and what not). We are talking a little bit more and if he wants to talk with someone or if he wants us both to go together I will support him 100%. I want us to do this together so if that means he needs us to talk with someone that I will.
Not so secretly hoping this is my last cycle I ever have to chart!

 

[madtowngirl]

I'm really thankful for my hubby today. Last night we had a frank talk about insurance/infertility treatment cost/etc, and he's pretty open to anything. He still thinks this will happen naturally, and I really hope it does, too, but I'm trying to be realistic. Ah, to be a male, to have hormones that don't make you bawl every month...

 

[TTCmyMIRACLE]

Well my doc appt was supposed to be tomorrow but I started having light bleeding today after being late 18 days. I had to go home from work at lunch time to get a pad as I thought it was going to get worse. I had been nauseated all morning and feeling like I was about to start so I checked myself and sure enough, I was bleeding lightly but it was brown. When I got home for lunch it had turned slightly red so I called and rescheduled my appt. It was going to be a full on annual gyno exam with pregnancy test and blood work and I didn't want them putting that speculum in me because I know my 2nd day is the worst. Now that I'm home from work and I checked myself before a shower and it was brown again and drying up and barely anything when I wipe. TMI I know. Now I'm regretting that I even cancelled the appt. my husband said I should call first thing in the morning to see if they have a spot available if my period hasn't come on like normal. My breasts aren't even sore today like they have been the past weeks. I felt so sick today that I didn't eat anything but peanut butter crackers all day since the thought of everything else just made me queasy. so confused.

 

[TTCmyMIRACLE]

Well disregard last post..af is here full blown. At least the wait is over and I can stop worrying. Now to find out why this happened. Doc appt rescheduled for next month.

 

[Myshelsong]

sorry TTC, I totally understand and that is really annoying.
Hopefully your Dr will give you more answers when you re/book your appointment.

Flou - Has she reared her ugly head yet or are you still in??

Madtown - I know I wish I was a male, I was trying to explain to hubs the other day what it was like and I totally think he thinks I am making it up. I was like NO, do you not understand we litterally get homones that rise and fall and peak and shift all freaking month like clockwork!
Glad you guys had a good talk though, it is always good to know you are on the same page

Pebble - I feel "Single gestational sac seen Nov. 19th " means it is official!
Congratulations and happy healthy 9 months.

AFM - Officially in the TWW, 4 days in apparently and my fingers and toes are crossed. We timed everything right now hopefully all the vitamins and acupuncture will work magic. Also wishing for a hot beach vacation right now, it is -33 with the windchill in Edmonton. NOT FUN

 

[Myshelsong]

Hey Ladies, I know we havent heard from Ellahopefull in the last little while but I just saw her signature and it looks like she got her BFP.
Ella: Not sure if you is still reading the thread but thought I would send out a Congratulations to and wish you a happy healthy 9 months!

 

[pbl_ge]

TTC - so sorry. That's awful that you have to wait a full month now.

Madtown - YES, EXACTLY!!! Glad OH is on board with getting some help.

Myshel, hope this is the month for you! It just got super cold here, too, so definitely appreciate the urge for the beach.

Regarding Ella - I've been stalking her journal. All looking good.

Flou, hope AF has stayed away! Let us know what's new when you get a chance!

Pipi - any progress with the job/decision?

AFM, too terrified about m/c to declare anything "official" yet. Waiting at least until a heartbeat is seen. I've also been having a lot of cramping, which isn't necessarily bad, but it makes me nervous. I sort of feel pre-pregnant, if that makes any sense. Kinda like purgatory.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

Hey thanks so much myshel for the congrats I posted here when I got the BFP I think (it was the 1st real cycle after my m/c!) and was sure it was another m/c, but so far so good. It just all happened so quickly.

There is hope ladies! I had no BFP at all in 1 1/2 years (I was TTC altogether for over 2 years) then got 2 BFPs one after the other! I've been reading what you're all up to and I do keep up with this thread, and think of you all a lot, but thought it would insensitive of me to hang around here for too long...

It's nice to pop in and say hi though - good luck all of you - lots of baby dust!!!

 

[flou]

I'm in shock at the mo. I started spotting on Saturday (day AF due). The spotting has got lighter and lighter. Today it was watery with a hint of brown sort of yellowish. Its been longer than i have ever gone so i tested and i got a bfp! I'm really hoping it sticks but im being cautious at the mo as i had spotting and my previous loss. I just hope after nearly 3 years ttc this might be my rainbow.

 

[Ella_Hopeful]

flou - congrats! Are you going to get your progesterone tested?

 

[flou]

Ive got an appointment with the doc a week Monday. The spotting seems to be getting lighter and lighter so i think its due to IB. If the spotting gets darker then i will get progesterone tested sooner. At the mo im just hoping it sticks!

 

[pbl_ge]

Whoohoo!!! Congratulations, Flou!!! I definitely understand the worry. Just take it one day at a time, and find out what tests/scans the docs will give you. Congratulations!!!

We're on a roll! Who's next???

 

[Myshelsong]

STICK LITTLE BEAN STICK!!!
Holly cow Flou this is so exciting. Good luck with your Dr's appointment.

Did you do anything different this month, I am hoping that if I copy people that got pregnant and do exacly what they do one day I will get pregnant lol. Is that crazy or a reasonable approach to this whole LTTTC?

 

[MItoDC]

Congrats Flou! Love seeing all these positive messages!

AFM - we're on cycle 14. DH had a SA done finally and it came back with 1% morphology. Not good. This week my temp stayed up and I thought maybe the test was a fluke and started to get more excited when I was a day late. Unfortunately showed up with a vengeance yesterday evening. Totally crushed again. I made an appt today with my OBGYN to talk about getting referred to a fertility specialist. DH's doctor told us with numbers like that we have a very low chance of conceiving naturally and our best bet will be IVF with ICSI. I'm still unfamiliar with all of the different options - so if anyone wants to give some insight, it would be most welcome. Feeling pretty crushed today and keep crying at my desk. I never thought we'd be here and having these conversations. DH is still skeptical and while he says he's "ready to try anything" he's scoffing at the vitamins I've bought and doesn't want to go for a second SA since he says "some of his sperm are good, so it should still work." *sigh* I assume it's a big blow to his manhood, but I'm sick of the emotional roller coaster we've been on for the last 14 cycles. On to cycle 15 this month...

 

[pbl_ge]

Myshel, seems reasonable to me!

MIto DC - Sorry about the bad SA. You've got something to work with, which is good, but if it's that low you'd be throwing a Hail Mary pass every month except for ICSI/IVF. They did ICSI IVF for some of our embies, however not the ones that got transferred (those were regular IVF). Happy to answer any questions you have. There are also tons of youtube videos about it. It's become pretty routine, I think. There's a thread in this forum for folks having "mixed feelings about IVF." I started it when I was still in the decision stage, and reading people's answers was really helpful. Perhaps worth a glance through?
https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/p...1763-anyone-else-have-mixed-feelings-ivf.html