I am currently 2dpo today. We move into our new house a week today. V.excited! I can't wait for it just to be and DH again after spending 3 months at my parents. I also have an appointment at with the FS on the 7th so got a lot going on at the mo. I hope everyone is doing well today.
LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story
- Thread starter Myshelsong
- Start date
thanks Flou... praying for you to get your rainbow soon...
I've pretty much stopped counting and tracking. i have an idea, but my last two af's have been very light and strange. they have ben 3-5 days late. I'm heading to the gyn for my annual and I plan to ask them what is going on. 4 years is a seriously long time...
I've pretty much stopped counting and tracking. i have an idea, but my last two af's have been very light and strange. they have ben 3-5 days late. I'm heading to the gyn for my annual and I plan to ask them what is going on. 4 years is a seriously long time...
I'm on 3 years and I think how much longer! I hope you get some answers from the gyn. We have got an appointment with the FS on Monday. Even though it takes us a while to conceive they don't think anything is wrong fertility wise. DH has had SAs and I've had u/s and bloodwork all came back good. Last appointment she said that if we do have a problem then it is probably with recurring m/c. But they won't test until I have another m/c. Not sure what they are going to say on Monday but I hope they have some kind of plan for us.
I'll be praying that they have a plan for you... Our insurance refuses to pay for anything fertility related, so we constantly have to back door it and even then there is not much we can do. So we continue to wait.
I understand the wanting to know how much longer. we are at 4 years this month. I just keep believing that my turn will come soon
I understand the wanting to know how much longer. we are at 4 years this month. I just keep believing that my turn will come soon
Myshelsong
LTTTC Success Story
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Welcome Cary, I hope you get your little miracle soon!
Flou, we are three years as well it is so unreal to be thinking about the length if it all. Friends have had multiple births already and here we are looking at campsites that are pet friendly.
How was the move?
Welsh how are you doing?
AFM we are getting ready to head to Calgary for the stampede. Hubby is working there for a week so I am tagging along to have a mini vacation. It is ovulation week so hoping to get in some fun hotel times and spice up the routine.
Flou, we are three years as well it is so unreal to be thinking about the length if it all. Friends have had multiple births already and here we are looking at campsites that are pet friendly.
How was the move?
Welsh how are you doing?
AFM we are getting ready to head to Calgary for the stampede. Hubby is working there for a week so I am tagging along to have a mini vacation. It is ovulation week so hoping to get in some fun hotel times and spice up the routine.
panda fan
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Is it okay if I join? I'm feeling kind of at the end of my rope now. I was in another forum with other women having trouble conceiving . . . for I guess a good year and half (I have to check that) and now all those other girls but one are pregnant and the forum has gone quiet.
My story:
My husband I were married in 2010 but he wanted to wait a little while to try having kids. I had just had major surgery due to Crohns and was told there was a small chance I'd have trouble conceiving so I was nervous, but agreed to wait a year. We started trying in 2011 and I went off birth control. I immediately felt something was wrong because I was spotting for a week before my period and I had never spotted at all before going on birth control.
We tried for a year and then were referred to an RE. HSG showed possible hydrosalpinx in the left side and right side seemed to be open, but then the RE did another test and thought the hydro wasn't really much/ an issue (I'm still confused about this). It is thought I had major scar tissue from surgery causing the ovaries to be out of line with the tubes.
We did the 3 IUIs that our insurance required (waste of time if you have scar tissue) and then went on to our first IVF. By a miracle we got pregnant! But the joy lasted only a week and then I woke up cramping and bleeding at only 4.5 weeks. Miscarriage. The RE said it was just a bad egg and I would be fine. We got only one egg to freeze, but we were told any frozen are great.
2nd IVF failed. The clinic tested to make sure I had ovulated after the miscarriage because we had told them we didn't want to proceed if I wasn't back to normal. The doctor "on call" (not my doctor) took it up on him/herself to not tell me I hadn't ovulated and proceeded with the cycle anyway. Same protocol as the first except this time it failed.
3rd IVF. They used menopur instead of gonal F but essentiality the same protocol. I had a bad feeling again when they put off my retrieval one day longer than I thought they would. Sure enough, I ovulated even though I was on the meds. They lost all of the eggs. I was devastated but I didn't want to waste the cycle and we'd already decided to leave the clinic so we used our one frosty. Failure again.
At this point we were told that all of my eggs were of poor to mediocre quality and that I had an egg issue. Our RE was leaving the practice and did say some things about "better lab might help you".
Now I've had a consult with CCRM but even the act of getting my records sent has been a hassle and I'm just totally exhausted and despite having a chance there, I'm not feeling the spark of hope anymore. I'm depressed and crying all the time. I just feel so tired and I'm 34 and 3 mo old so I feel that scary 35 mark coming at me so quickly. Wondering if my eggs are already too bad to have my own kid and if it's worth spending the money.
Finding myself angry at my husband for making me wait to try. He's been good, but also he can't really understand what I'm going through and he is never one to express sadness or be comfortable around crying so it's been awkward.
Anyway. I'm sorry to just do a long vent to introduce myself, but I really need friends who are battling through this and can maybe give me a little strength and hope again. I've just started to read your stories and I hope to catch up on everyone's in the next few days.
My story:
My husband I were married in 2010 but he wanted to wait a little while to try having kids. I had just had major surgery due to Crohns and was told there was a small chance I'd have trouble conceiving so I was nervous, but agreed to wait a year. We started trying in 2011 and I went off birth control. I immediately felt something was wrong because I was spotting for a week before my period and I had never spotted at all before going on birth control.
We tried for a year and then were referred to an RE. HSG showed possible hydrosalpinx in the left side and right side seemed to be open, but then the RE did another test and thought the hydro wasn't really much/ an issue (I'm still confused about this). It is thought I had major scar tissue from surgery causing the ovaries to be out of line with the tubes.
We did the 3 IUIs that our insurance required (waste of time if you have scar tissue) and then went on to our first IVF. By a miracle we got pregnant! But the joy lasted only a week and then I woke up cramping and bleeding at only 4.5 weeks. Miscarriage. The RE said it was just a bad egg and I would be fine. We got only one egg to freeze, but we were told any frozen are great.
2nd IVF failed. The clinic tested to make sure I had ovulated after the miscarriage because we had told them we didn't want to proceed if I wasn't back to normal. The doctor "on call" (not my doctor) took it up on him/herself to not tell me I hadn't ovulated and proceeded with the cycle anyway. Same protocol as the first except this time it failed.
3rd IVF. They used menopur instead of gonal F but essentiality the same protocol. I had a bad feeling again when they put off my retrieval one day longer than I thought they would. Sure enough, I ovulated even though I was on the meds. They lost all of the eggs. I was devastated but I didn't want to waste the cycle and we'd already decided to leave the clinic so we used our one frosty. Failure again.
At this point we were told that all of my eggs were of poor to mediocre quality and that I had an egg issue. Our RE was leaving the practice and did say some things about "better lab might help you".
Now I've had a consult with CCRM but even the act of getting my records sent has been a hassle and I'm just totally exhausted and despite having a chance there, I'm not feeling the spark of hope anymore. I'm depressed and crying all the time. I just feel so tired and I'm 34 and 3 mo old so I feel that scary 35 mark coming at me so quickly. Wondering if my eggs are already too bad to have my own kid and if it's worth spending the money.
Finding myself angry at my husband for making me wait to try. He's been good, but also he can't really understand what I'm going through and he is never one to express sadness or be comfortable around crying so it's been awkward.
Anyway. I'm sorry to just do a long vent to introduce myself, but I really need friends who are battling through this and can maybe give me a little strength and hope again. I've just started to read your stories and I hope to catch up on everyone's in the next few days.
Thanks Myshelsong... Same for you
So sorry Panda. I understand, I really do. IUI and IVF are not even a thought for us (Too expensive and insurance won't even cover testing). Dh is not really the emotional type and it gets harder when you're watching your friends get pregnant for the second and third time...
Baby dust to all ofyou ladies! By the way, I'm apparently good luck to be around. Every lady who was on my thread in TTC after a loss not only got pregnant, but went on to have very healthy rainbows...
So sorry Panda. I understand, I really do. IUI and IVF are not even a thought for us (Too expensive and insurance won't even cover testing). Dh is not really the emotional type and it gets harder when you're watching your friends get pregnant for the second and third time...
Baby dust to all ofyou ladies! By the way, I'm apparently good luck to be around. Every lady who was on my thread in TTC after a loss not only got pregnant, but went on to have very healthy rainbows...
Hi panda it sounds as if you have had a bit of a rollercoaster road of a journey. I hope you get your little one soon.
myshel the move went well thank you. I feel though that I am camping out in my own house!
Had my FS appointment today. The plan at the mo is to keep trying. I'm going to have an hsg which will probably take another 2/3 months to come through. If I do conceive again they will scan me at 6 weeks and then start me on aspirin. If we don't conceive in another year then we can make an application for IVF. If I have another mc then i can be referred to the recurrent mc unit where they can test for blood clotting and chromosomal tests. Still lots of possibilities. Just hope i conceive soon and it sticks!
myshel the move went well thank you. I feel though that I am camping out in my own house!
Had my FS appointment today. The plan at the mo is to keep trying. I'm going to have an hsg which will probably take another 2/3 months to come through. If I do conceive again they will scan me at 6 weeks and then start me on aspirin. If we don't conceive in another year then we can make an application for IVF. If I have another mc then i can be referred to the recurrent mc unit where they can test for blood clotting and chromosomal tests. Still lots of possibilities. Just hope i conceive soon and it sticks!
martamok
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Hey girls!
First off I think everyone on this thread deserves a medal for everything you're going through. I feel for each and every one of you as I read each post. Going through all this is so tough and I think the toughest is not having anyone to talk to. I googled infertility support groups, but of course there aren't any near me. I just want to talk and cry with someone. No one in my life really understand...and on here it just seems like my heart is able to pour out thru typing...
It's been over two years for us, first year after marriage we were NTNP, but we traveled a lot and partying so we figured we just weren't timing it correctly (even tho I have ovulation pain and every period is 26-29 days, so I know when I'm fertile..i guess I was just lying to myself). Last summer we really started trying and this spring we started doing all the blood work and SA..so far everything is perfect. Now we have our first appointment in a fertility clinic this Monday...I am beyond scared. I feel like I'm broken and I don't want to hear it from the doctor. I always thought this would happen naturally and I'd have kids before my 30's...now I feel useless and kind of embarrassed. I know I shouldn't.
I've stopped going to baby showers and every time a friend of mine tells me she's pregnant (which seems to be every month!) I cry for about a day....I only have two friends who aren't pregnant or have kids yet, but I'm sure they will soon! I am becoming angry, jealous and just a horrible person. I've never been like this. I'm very close with my mom but she just doesn't understand, she keeps telling me it's okay, don't worry about it. So she doesn't even know half of my struggles. I wish I had people ask me how I feel and talk to me about it, first I thought no one cared but I think everyone is just scared to ask. I wish I had the will power to stop thinking about it so much and just relax, enjoy life...I'm only 27 by the way...I feel like I shouldn't be so depressed about this. My husband has been very good overall, he actually really wants kids, but he doesn't show his emotions like me, so he doesn't understand why I can cry at a drop of a hat.
I'm sorry about this long post, it just feels good to tell my story! I want to stay positive like all of you! Hopefully I'll be able to be happy again soon.
First off I think everyone on this thread deserves a medal for everything you're going through. I feel for each and every one of you as I read each post. Going through all this is so tough and I think the toughest is not having anyone to talk to. I googled infertility support groups, but of course there aren't any near me. I just want to talk and cry with someone. No one in my life really understand...and on here it just seems like my heart is able to pour out thru typing...
It's been over two years for us, first year after marriage we were NTNP, but we traveled a lot and partying so we figured we just weren't timing it correctly (even tho I have ovulation pain and every period is 26-29 days, so I know when I'm fertile..i guess I was just lying to myself). Last summer we really started trying and this spring we started doing all the blood work and SA..so far everything is perfect. Now we have our first appointment in a fertility clinic this Monday...I am beyond scared. I feel like I'm broken and I don't want to hear it from the doctor. I always thought this would happen naturally and I'd have kids before my 30's...now I feel useless and kind of embarrassed. I know I shouldn't.
I've stopped going to baby showers and every time a friend of mine tells me she's pregnant (which seems to be every month!) I cry for about a day....I only have two friends who aren't pregnant or have kids yet, but I'm sure they will soon! I am becoming angry, jealous and just a horrible person. I've never been like this. I'm very close with my mom but she just doesn't understand, she keeps telling me it's okay, don't worry about it. So she doesn't even know half of my struggles. I wish I had people ask me how I feel and talk to me about it, first I thought no one cared but I think everyone is just scared to ask. I wish I had the will power to stop thinking about it so much and just relax, enjoy life...I'm only 27 by the way...I feel like I shouldn't be so depressed about this. My husband has been very good overall, he actually really wants kids, but he doesn't show his emotions like me, so he doesn't understand why I can cry at a drop of a hat.
I'm sorry about this long post, it just feels good to tell my story! I want to stay positive like all of you! Hopefully I'll be able to be happy again soon.
Swtpinkbabi
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PS I feel A LOT better after writing all of that!
I felt like I was reading my own story. My heart goes out to you. It feels like such a lonely road to travel with no one to share it with. You have joined a wonderful site with lots of people who listen and understand. My journey was a very long and stressful one, but I feel like this site was a blessing. I pray your journey to Bfp doesn't take too long.
Hi martamok. I hope your journey won't be too much longer and you get a sticky bfp soon! Trying for a baby when you really want one but for whatever reason won't happen is so hard. Most people do not have any trouble getting pg so they do not understand. My own mother (even though she means well) told me to relax and it will happen when the time is right. I've been ttc for over 3 years and had 2 losses and she wonders why i might be stressed out and wanting it to happen! When people say things to me i just have to let it go. They just don't understand the frustration and the pain. Babydust to all!
martamok
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THANK YOU! Yes moms mean well but they just don't understand. My mom has me and my sister and we were both accidents lol there is no way she can understand the struggle.
martamok
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PS I feel A LOT better after writing all of that!
I felt like I was reading my own story. My heart goes out to you. It feels like such a lonely road to travel with no one to share it with. You have joined a wonderful site with lots of people who listen and understand. My journey was a very long and stressful one, but I feel like this site was a blessing. I pray your journey to Bfp doesn't take too long.
Thank you for your kind words....and a BIG CONGRATS on your BFP
, I pray it's a healthy baby.
Myshelsong
LTTTC Success Story
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Hi panda and mar
Sorry to hear about all of your struggles. It is a lonely road that only you and your significant other will ever really understand. I know that we all try to lend an ear and are always here for when you need to vent and I hope you find strength and patience and know we will not judge you for having those feelings of desperation and anger towards your situation, and sometimes your friends and family.
I find the worst thing for me day in and day out is realizing that life is moving forward without a baby. Moves happen, friends get pregnant and married, people get sick and die and I am still not pregnant. I still have to move on and get my hair cut and go grocery shopping, family events, birthdays and baptisms and no matter what I do, I am still without child... Sorry ladies got a little mopey there!
We are back in Calgary this week enjoying the stampede, and hubs is working during the day. Was sappose to be ovulating this week however my temp never spiked but maybe my thermometer broke on the plane ..... Oh well. Saw a few friends and am trying to have a great relaxing night. Might end up going to Banff tomorrow or just handing out around the hotel.
Flou glad your move went well, good luck on getting a quick date for the hsg. I am doing aspirin right now just because I heard about it. Fingers crossed!
Sorry to hear about all of your struggles. It is a lonely road that only you and your significant other will ever really understand. I know that we all try to lend an ear and are always here for when you need to vent and I hope you find strength and patience and know we will not judge you for having those feelings of desperation and anger towards your situation, and sometimes your friends and family.
I find the worst thing for me day in and day out is realizing that life is moving forward without a baby. Moves happen, friends get pregnant and married, people get sick and die and I am still not pregnant. I still have to move on and get my hair cut and go grocery shopping, family events, birthdays and baptisms and no matter what I do, I am still without child... Sorry ladies got a little mopey there!
We are back in Calgary this week enjoying the stampede, and hubs is working during the day. Was sappose to be ovulating this week however my temp never spiked but maybe my thermometer broke on the plane ..... Oh well. Saw a few friends and am trying to have a great relaxing night. Might end up going to Banff tomorrow or just handing out around the hotel.
Flou glad your move went well, good luck on getting a quick date for the hsg. I am doing aspirin right now just because I heard about it. Fingers crossed!
Kallie3000
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Hi ladies! I just wanted to pop by and say hi and intro myself, as I am just entering the LTTTC phase. I've been TTC only about a year, but at this point the regular TTC support groups and forums seem a bit less than what I need (eg. "OMG it has been three months, this is so hard!") I have a variety of health problems that might be contributing to my fertility issues, but nothing has been diagnosed or connected yet; just starting all the testing and waiting and such.
So - what do you guys consider LTTTC, and, is this an open support thread for someone like me?
Thanks!
So - what do you guys consider LTTTC, and, is this an open support thread for someone like me?
Thanks!
Kallie3000
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