LTTTC #1 - Support Group *Please share your story

[Myshelsong]

Yay numbers were 10x better!
20million post wash with 87% motility. I cried a little after in the room because I feel so much better this time around. Feeling hopeful.

 

[KatO79]

Thanks Kat will look at those books x

I would never tell my mum about the losses, she would make it all about her.

Yes she probably would, that'd be pretty typical NPD Which is another reason I never told my mother about my chemical last year (in April).

I hope those books help. I know that Karyl McBride has a website and a virtual workshop if you're interested: https://www.willieverbegoodenough.c...ealing-the-daughters-of-narcissistic-mothers/

You can take a look and think it over if that'd also be worth a try

Yay numbers were 10x better!
20million post wash with 87% motility. I cried a little after in the room because I feel so much better this time around. Feeling hopeful.

Yay Myshel

 

[DBZ34]

Hooray, Myshel!! I'm so glad to hear about your numbers!! I've got a good feeling about this cycle for you too!!



AFM - My opks have started to go positive, so I was worried I was going to ovulate before the trigger and before they could get me in for an IUI. I called my clinic and asked if I could maybe get the scan moved up a day just in case. The nurse that called me back sounded kind of pissed off I wanted to move my scan up. She was like "The doctor wanted to see you on Day 10 or 11" which is fine...but I ovulated on Day 10 two cycles ago and I've ovulated on Day 11 more than a few cycles, so I was worried I'd ov early and miss my chance to have an IUI.

I usually have two days of faint/close to pos lines and then I get my positive and I ov the day of the positive or super early the next morning. Going by my past history, I'm due to ovulate on Wednesday/early Thursday...so going in for a scan on Wednesday would be too late.

Plus, FF says tomorrow is Day 10 anyway (the clinic starts from the first day of full bleeding, so it would only be Day 9 for them). But I'm hoping coming in early doesn't throw anything off. It shouldn't right?

So, in the end, she rescheduled me and I'm having my scan tomorrow afternoon. I feel like they should still be able to tell me when to trigger based on tomorrow's scan and this way, there's less of a chance that we'll miss our chance to have an IUI.

I just feel so stressed out about this...much more than the first time. But then again, the first time, I was having scans every other day from Day 7 or 8, so we knew exactly what was going on in there. Now I have no idea, other than I'm having ov-pains (which may just be because of the meds, but could be because of imminent ov) and my opks will be positive soon.

Why can't this be easier?

 

[DBZ34]

Stine- How are things going with you? Still stock-piling those eggs?

 

[KatO79]

Hooray, Myshel!! I'm so glad to hear about your numbers!! I've got a good feeling about this cycle for you too!!



AFM - My opks have started to go positive, so I was worried I was going to ovulate before the trigger and before they could get me in for an IUI. I called my clinic and asked if I could maybe get the scan moved up a day just in case. The nurse that called me back sounded kind of pissed off I wanted to move my scan up. She was like "The doctor wanted to see you on Day 10 or 11" which is fine...but I ovulated on Day 10 two cycles ago and I've ovulated on Day 11 more than a few cycles, so I was worried I'd ov early and miss my chance to have an IUI.

I usually have two days of faint/close to pos lines and then I get my positive and I ov the day of the positive or super early the next morning. Going by my past history, I'm due to ovulate on Wednesday/early Thursday...so going in for a scan on Wednesday would be too late.

Plus, FF says tomorrow is Day 10 anyway (the clinic starts from the first day of full bleeding, so it would only be Day 9 for them). But I'm hoping coming in early doesn't throw anything off. It shouldn't right?

So, in the end, she rescheduled me and I'm having my scan tomorrow afternoon. I feel like they should still be able to tell me when to trigger based on tomorrow's scan and this way, there's less of a chance that we'll miss our chance to have an IUI.

I just feel so stressed out about this...much more than the first time. But then again, the first time, I was having scans every other day from Day 7 or 8, so we knew exactly what was going on in there. Now I have no idea, other than I'm having ov-pains (which may just be because of the meds, but could be because of imminent ov) and my opks will be positive soon.

Why can't this be easier?

Wow what's up with that nurse The nurses/telephone ladies at my clinic are always so nice. Did you tell her your concerns because of the OPKs? When did you O last time? Because if you Oed around CD10/11, then they should be scheduling your scan for before those days. My clinic is pretty good at scheduling U/Ss for before I'll risk Oing but so they don't get me in too early so the appointment risks being "for no good reason."

If you're feeling ovary pain, it could be due to the meds. I know I experience occasional ovary pains when I'm on the Puregon and it's just normally a sign that the meds are doing their work.

I truely hope you aren't about to O and that you reach to trigger before it happens

 

[DBZ34]

I have no idea what was up with the nurse. She was downright surly and kind of bitchy about it...I almost felt guilty for asking to have my scan moved. But then I thought about the fact that this is my body, my money and these are my hopes and dreams she's messing around with, so if I think I'm going to ov in the next couple of days, I surely need to do something about it. I feel much better about the move now. Even if I'm not quite ripe, at least I know we aren't going to totally miss our chance.

I told her all about my opks and how my body usually works and she still had a bad attitude with me and that was when she started going on about the doctor wanting to see me day 10 or 11. Then I pointed out that I ovulated on Day 10 the cycle before, so I wasn't really comfortable waiting. I asked if moving the scan would be detrimental to the doc's assessment of what's going on with me and she didn't really have an answer, which was fair enough. Then I asked if I was about to ov on Wednesday, if we could still do the IUI and she was pretty skeptical that we'd be able to proceed with the IUI...so I think moving it up is probably the best option.

Last IUI, I triggered on CD 10 and had the IUI early on CD 12, but I had started ovulating before I made it to the clinic (I could feel the eggs popping out of my ovaries). That cycle, I had been monitored since right after AF had gone, so they knew what my body was doing and there was still the worry I would ov on CD 11 instead of 12.

And that was going with FF's idea of what my cycle days were. So last IUI, I triggered CD10, which is tomorrow by FF's standards...therefore, it would make sense to get in for a scan tomorrow, right?

 

[KatO79]

I have no idea what was up with the nurse. She was downright surly and kind of bitchy about it...I almost felt guilty for asking to have my scan moved. But then I thought about the fact that this is my body, my money and these are my hopes and dreams she's messing around with, so if I think I'm going to ov in the next couple of days, I surely need to do something about it. I feel much better about the move now. Even if I'm not quite ripe, at least I know we aren't going to totally miss our chance.

I told her all about my opks and how my body usually works and she still had a bad attitude with me and that was when she started going on about the doctor wanting to see me day 10 or 11. Then I pointed out that I ovulated on Day 10 the cycle before, so I wasn't really comfortable waiting. I asked if moving the scan would be detrimental to the doc's assessment of what's going on with me and she didn't really have an answer, which was fair enough. Then I asked if I was about to ov on Wednesday, if we could still do the IUI and she was pretty skeptical that we'd be able to proceed with the IUI...so I think moving it up is probably the best option.

Last IUI, I triggered on CD 10 and had the IUI early on CD 12, but I had started ovulating before I made it to the clinic (I could feel the eggs popping out of my ovaries). That cycle, I had been monitored since right after AF had gone, so they knew what my body was doing and there was still the worry I would ov on CD 11 instead of 12.

And that was going with FF's idea of what my cycle days were. So last IUI, I triggered CD10, which is tomorrow by FF's standards...therefore, it would make sense to get in for a scan tomorrow, right?

Ok that's just bizarre that they scheduled your scan for CD10 when you triggered CD10 last time They really should've had you in before, like CD7 (or something like that) and go on the assumption that you'd need to trigger the same day or a bit before/later. Perhaps they should also have you trigger 24 hours before the IUI instead. That's what I had to do this time as I'd already Oed when I went in for IUI #2 which was scheduled for 36 hours after the trigger and they prefer you not to have Oed before the IUI. Which was a good thing because I was in the process of Oing when they where about to do the actual IUI so definitely shouldn't have had my IUI later than those 24 hours after trigger

So yes, it makes total sense to move the scan to tomorrow But wow, that's just messed up they didn't schedule the scan for before CD10 based on what happened last time They can't go by the rule "CD10/11 is the day for the scan", they need to change it if a patient doesn't fit into that pattern. I'm sorry that the they're being so impossible, going through assisted conception is stressful enough without them making it even more so by not being able to make a good "game plan" for you I hope that despite their amateur way of handling things that you do reach the IUI before you actually O

 

[KatO79]

So how did your appointment go DBZ34? And how is everyone else feeling/doing?

AFM I'm 4 dpiui today and distracting myself with different things to avoid symptom spotting. I definitely will be holding off until at least 7-8 dpo but even then I'm not going to trust anything since I was fooled the other 2 IUIs.

 

[Myshelsong]

DZB How did your scan go?
I agree that is weird she would be mad at you, maybe she just has bitch voice? I had a client like that once (I am in insurance) and half way through the convo I was like "look are you mad at me? it sounds like you are yelling at me for no reason, and I just met you."

Hey Kat, I hope the post iui is going well. I have started painting my living room again. Low VOC's paint and all. I try not to symptom spot, I have been at this long enough to know that I feel the same every single month. although this cycle because I had So MANY follicles i felt crampy and bloaty for two days. Thankfully that has now subsided and I feel just like my normal self ... annoyed and impatient.

Second IUI went just as well as the first! I feel like this is our first actual time with the IUI where there could be a chance we could catch the egg at the right time. Turns out hubby does have some male infertility issues which may have been the issue this whole time. That and bad timing and late follicles and both of us low sex drive after almost 4 years at it. I just feel really positive this time. Going to try to be happy and not depressed this whole month!

 

[Stine]

Stine- How are things going with you? Still stock-piling those eggs?

Just had my US (CD 12 today) and it's not good. I have 1 egg (10mm) that might be promising and a lot of tiny ones that he didn't even bother measuring they are so small. Also, my lining (7mm) isn't growing and he said "doesn't look promising". He ALSO found an endometrial cyst that he is "going to keep an eye on". He is already talking about getting more aggressive next month because my body clearly isn't reacting the way he likes with the Femara. I have to go back in on Monday (CD 17) for a repeat scan. If the one egg and lining grows enough he will have me trigger and they will proceed with the IUI but nothing is set in stone yet. I am so heartbroken and feel like "what more can/could I do to help make things better/grow in there".

Hope you ladies have better news. I could use some good news right about now.

 

[KatO79]

DZB How did your scan go?
I agree that is weird she would be mad at you, maybe she just has bitch voice? I had a client like that once (I am in insurance) and half way through the convo I was like "look are you mad at me? it sounds like you are yelling at me for no reason, and I just met you."

Hey Kat, I hope the post iui is going well. I have started painting my living room again. Low VOC's paint and all. I try not to symptom spot, I have been at this long enough to know that I feel the same every single month. although this cycle because I had So MANY follicles i felt crampy and bloaty for two days. Thankfully that has now subsided and I feel just like my normal self ... annoyed and impatient.

Second IUI went just as well as the first! I feel like this is our first actual time with the IUI where there could be a chance we could catch the egg at the right time. Turns out hubby does have some male infertility issues which may have been the issue this whole time. That and bad timing and late follicles and both of us low sex drive after almost 4 years at it. I just feel really positive this time. Going to try to be happy and not depressed this whole month!

I'm doing fine and successfully not symptom spotting I don't think I'll allow anything to give me hope unless we're talking about metallic taste or something like that. Been keeping myself busy with making earrings with supplies from a local craft store that specialises in jewellery stuff. I'd think painting a living room would also Work but we don't dare paint anything in our apartment since we're renting plus were thinking of buying a house in the near future. Which has been put on hold until DH can find a job which shouldn't be too bad since he has 9 years experience.

I'm glad the 2nd IUI went well Although I don't think it's all about timing, it's also trying to catch "The Golden Egg" as one of the nurses at the clinic calls it. That egg that's matured well and doesn't contain any flaws. We were discussing last time how I've heard of people having 4-5 follies at one IUI and getting a BFN and then next time they have maybe 1-2 follies and bam, BFP! So it's also about the quality of the eggs. She says that when you think about how much is involved in the fertilizing, dividing of the egg and implantation, she's surprised that there are so many people in the world when so much can go wrong, even under the optimal circumstances. And sometimes, it's a mystery. She's said they've tried having during IVFs a good quality egg that's fertilized and dividing nicely and a nice thick endometrial lining and it can still end in BFN and they don't know why it went wrong.

I'm hoping we've both made at least one "Golden Egg" this time

Stine- How are things going with you? Still stock-piling those eggs?

Just had my US (CD 12 today) and it's not good. I have 1 egg (10mm) that might be promising and a lot of tiny ones that he didn't even bother measuring they are so small. Also, my lining (7mm) isn't growing and he said "doesn't look promising". He ALSO found an endometrial cyst that he is "going to keep an eye on". He is already talking about getting more aggressive next month because my body clearly isn't reacting the way he likes with the Femara. I have to go back in on Monday (CD 17) for a repeat scan. If the one egg and lining grows enough he will have me trigger and they will proceed with the IUI but nothing is set in stone yet. I am so heartbroken and feel like "what more can/could I do to help make things better/grow in there".

Hope you ladies have better news. I could use some good news right about now.

Awww I'm sorry Stine I don't know anything about Femara but would upping your dose help? Maybe you're not getting enough. I hope that the follie and your lining have huge growth spurts so you can trigger soon

It's so not your fault, it's not like you can control your body Unfortunately, we don't have full control over the whole process of egg maturing and lining thickening, or even the whole conception thing. We can only help things along, even with science. I'm sure you're doing all you can

 

[Myshelsong]

Big Hugs Stine. What dose of Femara are you on?
when I was on 5mg it really did nothing for me, it was my usual follicle and the usual timing.
Maybe you can look at increasing it (like I had too) and add an injectable (which I also had to do at a pretty high dose mind you 150 iu). This cycle when we finally did that I got my Multiple large follicles!

Don't give up the first month hun, there is much more they can do and try to make this happen. Femara alone doesnt work with a lot of people - which is why they have injectables. It doesn't mean it wont ever happen.

Hugs.

 

[DBZ34]

Ok that's just bizarre that they scheduled your scan for CD10 when you triggered CD10 last time They really should've had you in before, like CD7 (or something like that) and go on the assumption that you'd need to trigger the same day or a bit before/later. Perhaps they should also have you trigger 24 hours before the IUI instead. That's what I had to do this time as I'd already Oed when I went in for IUI #2 which was scheduled for 36 hours after the trigger and they prefer you not to have Oed before the IUI. Which was a good thing because I was in the process of Oing when they where about to do the actual IUI so definitely shouldn't have had my IUI later than those 24 hours after trigger

So yes, it makes total sense to move the scan to tomorrow But wow, that's just messed up they didn't schedule the scan for before CD10 based on what happened last time They can't go by the rule "CD10/11 is the day for the scan", they need to change it if a patient doesn't fit into that pattern. I'm sorry that the they're being so impossible, going through assisted conception is stressful enough without them making it even more so by not being able to make a good "game plan" for you I hope that despite their amateur way of handling things that you do reach the IUI before you actually O

Thanks, Kat.

Yeah, my first IUI was with a totally different clinic and I'm definitely missing them right now. They were so good and so on top of things.

I've stuck with this new clinic because the doc is willing to test for lots of different things concerning my rmc and is generally knowledgeable. Which, is why I'm a little surprised his nurse was trying to be so rigid about my scan. If I have to do it again, I'm definitely insisting on going in earlier.

You're so right though. The doc knew my history and the IUI process I went through. We talked about it before and I gave him all of my paperwork from the IUI. It seems silly now that he even suggested seeing me on Day 11, especially since I could have easily ov'd on that day. Hopefully we'll be better prepared if there is a next time.

DZB How did your scan go?
I agree that is weird she would be mad at you, maybe she just has bitch voice? I had a client like that once (I am in insurance) and half way through the convo I was like "look are you mad at me? it sounds like you are yelling at me for no reason, and I just met you."

I'm so glad, Myshel!! I'm so happy that you and your DH figured out a way to get better results out of him and with a back to back IUI, I feel like your chances are better than ever this cycle! My fingers are crossed tightly for you!!

As for the nurse..if she normally had a bitch voice, that'd be one thing, but when I've talked to her before on the phone, she's been pleasant and really helpful. Maybe she was just having a bad day or something? Or maybe she thought I was some kind of crazy woman trying to take control of my treatment...lol.

It was so strange and then when I saw her yesterday, it was like she thought the day change was her idea. lol. I'm hoping our future phone calls will go better, seeing as I was right about needing to get in.

Stine- How are things going with you? Still stock-piling those eggs?

Just had my US (CD 12 today) and it's not good. I have 1 egg (10mm) that might be promising and a lot of tiny ones that he didn't even bother measuring they are so small. Also, my lining (7mm) isn't growing and he said "doesn't look promising". He ALSO found an endometrial cyst that he is "going to keep an eye on". He is already talking about getting more aggressive next month because my body clearly isn't reacting the way he likes with the Femara. I have to go back in on Monday (CD 17) for a repeat scan. If the one egg and lining grows enough he will have me trigger and they will proceed with the IUI but nothing is set in stone yet. I am so heartbroken and feel like "what more can/could I do to help make things better/grow in there".

Hope you ladies have better news. I could use some good news right about now.

Oh, Stine, There's nothing you can do to make things better in there right now. It's just a waiting game. I hate that we don't have more control over our bodies sometimes.

I'm so sorry to hear your scan didn't go as well as you hoped, Stine. I'm hoping that on Monday, you'll see a lot of good growth in those follies and in your lining.

When he says more aggressive, does you doc mean injectibles or just higher dose of femara? Maybe a little bit of both is just what you need.

It's so hard not to get discouraged, but you're doing what you can right now. I really hope it all works out. Maybe your body hasn't responded yet but maybe it will step things up and surprise you soon.

 

[DBZ34]

As for my scan.... I am sooo glad I went in yesterday. It was definitely the right decision. My right ovary isn't doing much, but I have two big follies on the left measuring at 20 and 21. Doc thought they looked really ripe, so I triggered last night...on CD10 according to FF...which was exactly when I triggered last IUI. I admit, I felt vindicated when I saw those follies. lol. I'm just hoping I don't ov tonight.

And the trigger didn't have much of an effect, so maybe I had a weird reaction to the Ovitrelle for some reason last IUI. This cycle, I had a different trigger, but I'm hoping it will work just as well in ripening those follies and getting them ready for conception.

The IUI is early tomorrow morning. DH is going to produce his sample at home and we'll both drive it in. We're going to have breakfast and then I'll go in for the IUI at 9am. I'm slightly nervous, but I'm trying to stay positive. Hopefully, Dh will have good numbers and the IUI will go smoothly.

 

[Stine]

Thank you so much ladies. I'm trying to keep my hopes up that some how they will have a growth spurt and everything will be prefect come Monday. I'm currently doing only 2.5 Femara. He mentioned doing injections next but said he will get more in detail on Monday after the scan. With my age and medical issues he doesn't want to mess around.

DBZ- so excited you were right. A woman knows her body!! Fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

 

[KatO79]

As for my scan.... I am sooo glad I went in yesterday. It was definitely the right decision. My right ovary isn't doing much, but I have two big follies on the left measuring at 20 and 21. Doc thought they looked really ripe, so I triggered last night...on CD10 according to FF...which was exactly when I triggered last IUI. I admit, I felt vindicated when I saw those follies. lol. I'm just hoping I don't ov tonight.

And the trigger didn't have much of an effect, so maybe I had a weird reaction to the Ovitrelle for some reason last IUI. This cycle, I had a different trigger, but I'm hoping it will work just as well in ripening those follies and getting them ready for conception.

The IUI is early tomorrow morning. DH is going to produce his sample at home and we'll both drive it in. We're going to have breakfast and then I'll go in for the IUI at 9am. I'm slightly nervous, but I'm trying to stay positive. Hopefully, Dh will have good numbers and the IUI will go smoothly.

Oh so good that you made that call and re-scheduled that scan I hope they learn that you need to come in before CD10 if there's a next time. Otherwise you may need to remind them.

I hope you don't O early I did for my IUI #2, which is why they made me take my trigger 24 hours before instead of 36 hours. Here's hoping your first O shortly after the actual IUI Here's hoping everything looks good tomorrow

Thank you so much ladies. I'm trying to keep my hopes up that some how they will have a growth spurt and everything will be prefect come Monday. I'm currently doing only 2.5 Femara. He mentioned doing injections next but said he will get more in detail on Monday after the scan. With my age and medical issues he doesn't want to mess around.

DBZ- so excited you were right. A woman knows her body!! Fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

Injections normally pack a more powerful punch than Clomid/Femara which is probably why he's considering it. My body seems to react pretty well to them although I never seem to develop more than 2 follies but that's ok. But here's hoping it won't matter and that your IUI works

 

[Myshelsong]

Good luck on the IUI today!

See if they will be willing to increase the femara. It is annoying they had you on such a low dose if they know you have issues developing follicles to size.

Turns out the gray color that we painstakingly picked over three weeks is actually a light blue again. It looks almost identical to our bedroom color. So annoyed, hoping second coat will darken it up

 

[KatO79]

Good luck on the IUI today!

See if they will be willing to increase the femara. It is annoying they had you on such a low dose if they know you have issues developing follicles to size.

Turns out the gray color that we painstakingly picked over three weeks is actually a light blue again. It looks almost identical to our bedroom color. So annoyed, hoping second coat will darken it up

Oh that stinks I hope it looks better with a 2nd coat then.

Hope you're otherwise doing well

 

[Renaendel]

Good luck on the IUI today.

 

[DBZ34]

Thanks ladies!!

The IUI went well. DH produced his sample right at 7am, which I was pretty impressed with. He had the timing down pat. lol. I tucked the cup in my bra and we drove it in to the clinic. When we got there, we had to take the sample and write on the side of it. Then there were all these forms we had to fill out and I was pretty much staring at the pot, worrying about the sperm not being kept warm and thinking about putting it back in my shirt the entire time. lol.

The number of sperm wasn't as good as our first IUI, but we BDed 32 hours before the sample (doctor's orders), so it was to be expected. I'm glad we did though because I definitely ov'd before the IUI. We still had 17 mill and 89% motility so I'm pretty happy with that.

IUI was quick and easy....so now we wait.