Hi there ladies....
So so sorry I have been Mia...for the past couple of days...
WOW....I hate march....hate being a strong word but that's all I have to say about this month!
We have all been through the mill this one haven't we ladies.
I'm sad to say this will be my last cycle trying for a while.
My apt on Tuesday didn't go well at all
I went along with my list of stuff to discuss...my memory being the reason I took a list lol.
Anyways I got to telling him all about my LP changes and the spotting after intercourse(especially in the tww)
The uncomfortable intercourse
I told him about the slow temp rises
He stops me in my tracks with a worried look on his face and tells me his is not worried in the slightest about the ttc aspects of any of it.
He raises the issue that he thinks my symptoms present a threat of the cancer returning.
So I am having a run of tests being carried out -unfortunately the smear cannot be preformed untill mid cycle so with our calculations that isn't untill the 17 th of April!!!
Such a long time to wait and stay sane.
Then I have to wait as long as three weeks for the results...so that two maybe three cycles lost here.
For sure the most important thing here is that this is NOT the cancer coming back...so ttc can be put on hold with a slice of humble pie I suppose.
I must say thoe...the humble pie tastes of crap!
I feel like this is ANOTHER Hurdle...ANOTHER test of my patients ...ANOTHER faking wait.
I honestly don't know what I will do if this IS bad news...but for now all I can do is keep everything crossed.
I concluded that no matter how much I cry or threat or worry it's not going to change the. Out come so I have to just take one day at a time here and go with the flow.
I did of course phone my go yesterday and ask "what if I got my bfp this cycle"
He said very little can be done and I will taken very good care of and tests will resume after pgy.
But to obviously not try next cycle until results are in.
Well ladies....I will still be about ....
I am sick of us all having to go through more than our fair share of badly delt cards.
Meg and I have been talking with barbs over email...we will take good care of our lovely friend ladies.
Well...cycle update as it barley stands is....9dpo....bfn!
What can I say...??? Not much .
Take care ladies...
Natalie ....
Sorry I am not myself....dealing with a lot of emotions and I'm not even QUITE sure which one comes first right now.
Love to you all.xxxx