LTTTC & Assisted Conception Section Guidelines

[Wobbles]

I'm interested in any ideas & suggestions regarding some guidelines for this section from girls who have been or are on this journey.

It's hard because although some people may not fully relate to your journey many want to wish you luck on your journey in your diaries etc.

This comes after a couple of recent topics so I am curious what you girls think.

Wobbles

x

 

[chefamy1122]

Thanks! I know this has been a "touchy" subject recently, so this is a great idea. Let me put my thinking cap on...

 

[magicvw]

Hi - just signing into the thread. I am too new in this forum to feel comfortable suggesting anything, but I want to know what the guidelines are so I don't overstep the mark.

xxx

 

[FJL]

Because it seems clear that the majority of the girls would like non LTTTC'er members to post, then I guess its majority rules. Some ideas for non LTTTC'ers who wish to post:

* Please don't post TTC advice like 'relax, take a holiday, you can always adopt, stop thinking and it will happen, joe and mary down the road did IVF then took a month off and forgot about it and voila - pg!'

* Please turn off pg tickers (again, might be just me, majority will always rule!)

* If you'd like to post good luck or ask a genuine question thats fine, but please think before you type - what you think may not offend, may very well end up being very upsetting.

Wobs, what about a poll after our ideas for LTTTC'ers only allowed to vote?? Or where you going to do that anyway?!?

Thankyou so much for being so understanding and taking the time to help everyone to be comfortable in this section

 

[Wobbles]

Hi - just signing into the thread. I am too new in this forum to feel comfortable suggesting anything, but I want to know what the guidelines are so I don't overstep the mark.

xxx

Your opinions are valued just as much as anyone elses hun - there are no guidelines but what does need to be addressed is how sensitive this journey is for those in it which can be hard for others to understand - basically common sense.

Its hard ...thats why I've asked you girls and as I say any suggestions, ideas, opinions are welcome on this thread no matter when you joined how many posts you have etc etc

x

 

[Wobbles]

* Please turn off pg tickers (again, might be just me, majority will always rule!)

This is one I have thought of however in the past I had them turned off completely but of course that kinda put a downer on those using the section with their appointment tickers etc etc then someone said that they liked seeing even pg tickers esspecially from their ttc pals who had success (like helen for example). This is tricky as someone mentioned me included is they try to remember but sometimes slips the mind and turning them off yourself is just a genuine mistake I have thought also that the gaga tickers are the worst to be seen ...would I be right?

 

[vickie83]

I have thought also that the gaga tickers are the worst to be seen ...would I be right?

yes!

 

[FJL]

Wobs, I think leaving tickers on its a great idea, but to make a mention in a sticky thread of guidlines for non LTTTC'ers to turn their pg tickers off. I know it will slip the mind but if they can just be mindful and try and remember would be great.

You, AG, Helen and other LTTTC'ers tickers aren't what I mean, just regular TTC and I know having that seperation can be tricky, so I think the mention of turning pg tickers off for those with a normal and lucky journey could be the go?

Wobs do you think the idea of gathering peoples suggestions then running a poll (for LTTTC'ers only to vote as I feel normal TTC'ers might not understand and therefore disagree) for what to include in the guidlines/rule sticky thread for this section might be a good idea to guage everyones feelings in a majority rules vote?

 

[CHILLbilly]

So I am new to TTC going on 7 months TTC ( I am 37 and mc last year)

I would not post in here ( except to give my opinion on this particlar thread) but do read posts!
I just want to say...that i agree with everything FJL has brought up.
With the amount of new members joining BnB, I am sure the stream of TTC's coming and going on LTTTC can be frustrating.

I really do think this forumn should be like the 18 plus...you register and then get a 'rules" type post to go along with it.
Might be a little more work for our Mods but......better then having someone post before thinking.
Just my 2 cents worth

p.s. thats all the posting I will do. but i will keep on reading.

 

[genkigemini]

I think that this is a great idea. (I know I can be really bitchy about the things that are said. )

I definitely think the most important this is what FJL said:

* Please don't post TTC advice like 'relax, take a holiday, you can always adopt, stop thinking and it will happen, joe and mary down the road did IVF then took a month off and forgot about it and voila - pg!'

^ I know this is what sets most of us off or makes us really upset.

Tickers don't bug me so much but success stories do. (I know this is heartless... seriously but it bothers me when people just say, "I have been there and now I have this cute little child to call my own.")

I am happy for whatever people decide to do. A poll is probably a good way to go.

 

[genkigemini]

I really do think this forumn should be like the 18 plus...you register and then get a 'rules" type post to go along with it.
Might be a little more work for our Mods but......better then having someone post before thinking.

Do you think maybe having a mod for this section specifically would help?

Also, I am not sure if anyone really wants this... I am not even sure if I do but maybe we can lock this section like "the Girls Sanctuary." This way we can post our mind without worrying about insulting the regular TTC girls.

 

[magicvw]

Just an idea - would it be possible to create two boards within the forum, one for ltttc factual stuff like advice, questions and stuff that anybody might be interested in, and another for venting? It seems to me that the problem is really with ttcers sticking their noses in the latter. A venting board could be a private one, but actually the name of it could probably be enough to put non ltttcers off, if was just called Long Term Buddies or something like that?

xxxxx

 

[FJL]

Magic - I think the idea of another section is a really good one!

Or to be really picky maybe a 2 more apart from this one and they become locked and members (must be LTTTC) approved by mods? So we can have this one for general questions, support from everyone etc, and a few others for different reasons? As Magic said, a private vent one but also an area to talk about things non venting where we know regular TTC'ers won't see, and perhaps another one for those undergoing certain treatments they wish to keep private??

I might be going a bit overboard but just a thought Not sure if you're able or want to expand this section anymore Wobs, but just a another thought to play around with I guess! I know whatever you decide will be great!

 

[FEDup1981]

Perhaps it is a good idea to have a private LTTTC section, because a lot of the comments posted by LTTTCers about short term TTC and preg women upset me. I dont want to get in a slanging match, but we are all entitled to our opinion.I find certain LTTTCers very hostile and come across as jealous, which is understandable, but its unfair on the 'fertiles' (as they call them). It appears to me that we have to walk on egg shells around LTTCers but they can rant what they like. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing and women should not have to hide the fact that they are pregnant to avoid upsetting people.
So perhaps a private section is a good idea.

And before anyone asks, yes i do have a child, and yes i have been diagnosed with secondary infertility this time TTC, so i do understand a bit from both sides.

I mean to upset no-one, just explaining my reasons why a private section would be a good idea.

 

[Wobbles]

It appears to me that we have to walk on egg shells around LTTCers but they can rant what they like. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing and women should not have to hide the fact that they are pregnant to avoid upsetting people.

I disagree with your post mainly the bit quoted above. Why? Because some of the girls only ask for a bit of common sense and a bit of sensitivity in THIS one and only section not the rest of BabyandBump.

Using the word jealous I felt was very wrong also .... course they are ffs but its not 'personal' I was VERY jealous of even a passing stranger with a bump in the street through my journey.

I know you said you mean no harm but I couldn't help but stand up to that lol x

Anyhooooooo I'll consider a new mod for LTTTC & yer maybe a closed section or permission only to reply.

x

 

[MissAma]

Just a quick point. On other boards there are sometimes separate sections for LTTC and for infertility/medical intervention since there are plenty of people who are LTTC but still TTC naturally and plenty of new TTCers who are in need of medical assistance to achieve pregnancy.

 

[FEDup1981]

It appears to me that we have to walk on egg shells around LTTCers but they can rant what they like. Pregnancy is a wonderful thing and women should not have to hide the fact that they are pregnant to avoid upsetting people.

I disagree with your post mainly the bit quoted above. Why? Because some of the girls only ask for a bit of common sense and a bit of sensitivity in THIS one and only section not the rest of BabyandBump.

Using the word jealous I felt was very wrong also .... course they are ffs but its not 'personal' I was VERY jealous of even a passing stranger with a bump in the street through my journey.

I know you said you mean no harm but I couldn't help but stand up to that lol x

Anyhooooooo I'll consider a new mod for LTTTC & yer maybe a closed section or permission only to reply.

x

Yes i should have phrased it better, and of course the girls in the LTTTC section are certainly entitled to common sense and sensitivity.
This time round i have been TTC for 9 months, so i too feel some despair. Granted, i already have a child, but i still feel heart broken. I just cant understand why some people are so hostile, when really we are all aiming for the same thing, and should just support each other.

I do feel your pain and frustration, maybe not as much, but i do care, and would gladly change it all in a heart beat if i could.

 

[Wobbles]

Sorry if I came across as having a go actually don't think you took it that way but just incase - Its AM I'm not fully working yet lol

I can't imagine 2nd infertility is easier just because you've had a child.

I'm not sure who you meant when you said I do feel your pain and frustration, maybe not as much, but i do care, and would gladly change it all in a heart beat if i could ... incase you meant me I had a tough one but I beat it with success and nervously another on way.

 

[Wobbles]

Just a quick point. On other boards there are sometimes separate sections for LTTC and for infertility/medical intervention since there are plenty of people who are LTTC but still TTC naturally and plenty of new TTCers who are in need of medical assistance to achieve pregnancy.

I can see this being a possibility as time goes on and we become more busy in this section Most of the girls who are going through assiste conception can often relate to the girlies who are still in the stage.

Thanks for the suggestion will certainly keep it in mind x

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

i think having a separate private room esp for sore subjects that you wanna keep between the LTTTC is a brill idea.. i value every opionin but sometimes you just want people that understand your pain to console you.
Tickers should stay because id want people see mine so i dnt have 2 keep repeating myself 2 how many m/cs iv had or how long i have left 2 wait...