Maintenence, how much does he give you?

[AppleBlossom]

Glad you have some sort of arrangement hun

One thing I have learnt though is that exes will constantly keep surprising you. But it will get old, to the point where you just expect it

big

 

[taperjeangirl]

Thanks Bex xxx

 

[Gemma1981]

Hi. I left my husband 9 months ago and haven't bothered to ask him for financial support for my 3 kids. He has no job and has just finished a jail sentence for attacking my mum after I left.

There's no point me asking for money because I know I wont get it. He almost cried off having the kids this weekend because he says he has no money. I totally expect it every other week.

The main thing for me is that I want him to be there for the kids and for their visits to be routine and not just if and when he has money.

I will probably consider asking for financial help from him when I know he's earning although tbh his priorities have never been right where spending money was concerned.

 

[xarlenex]

Through the CSA it is 15% of their wages for the first child, i've got a private agreement with John though, just £100, if I went through CSA i'd be geting 150..really dont know why i'm not now I think on it! xx

 

[princess_bump]

after reading this thread its bloody shocking how little they contribute to there children!! my mum never received a penny from my nob of a sperm donor!

 

[lozzy21]

My dad paid £25 a week for me but paid for all of my clothes,shoes and anything i needed. My mam would ring him up and ask for £30 for a pair of shoes and he would send £60. He paid for all of my school trips and gave me my spending money. When i wanted to get my own place i asked to lend £1000, he gave me it and said i dident need to give it back.

Where as my brothers and sis dad gave her £25 for the 3 of them. He never coughes up anything. Gess what he got my sister for her 13th? ONE cd.

 

[Always&4ever]

I won't be accepting any money off him

 

[bjshooter]

Mine pays me nothing, he moves his money before csa can get hold of it.

 

[amylw1]

my ex is high up in a casino, he is on £20k+ a year. according to CSA i am entitled to £264 a month from him. i am lucky if i get £130 a month. they cant get anymore from him and have tried taking it direct from wages and again had no luck.

he has told the CSA that his new partner has kicked him out and wont let him see the kid so he is now paying her CSA as well - the above has been halved between us. yet the funny thing is he got his solicitor to contact mine (AFTER he told CSA they no longer together) stting that he is now in a fixed permant relationship and wants to bring his new partner and kid to meet his other son. but CSA wont believe solicitor. but on a good note he was also told that he has to re-establish contact on his own b4 bringing his new family into things as he has had no contact for just under 5yrs. he said hes not going to bother then!



i'm not a single parent but saw the thread.

 

[xxannxx]

My ex and I had a private arrangement for while but was always excuse after excuse as to why couldn't get money when it was due or full amount. Now after almost a year of getting nothing at all, I have recently applied to CSA to collect money on my behalf. I don't know how much I will get yet, but I know that it'll be more useful than the big fat 0 I get now.

 

[missjacey44]

My ex doesnt give me a penny he would rather spend it on himself the selfish **** so girls count yourselfs lucky even if your getting something !

 

[chel27]

me and my ex have an arrangement...he pays me £125 month x

 

[jesse k + x]

DD's father pays $85 mth..... it used to just be $14/mth sadly. For now its a bit better....

Babys father might not pay a thing if he refuses to sign forms (birth certificate, statatory declaration etc) acknowledging this is in fact his baby.

 

[saff1978]

Havent read through all these posts, but I have 4 kids by 3 dads (dont ask!!) it took me years to get money from the first 2 through the csa and now touch wood they do both pay, I'm newly seperated from my husband and now he's refusing to pay too....i sure know how to pick em!!

 

[taperjeangirl]

Havent read through all these posts, but I have 4 kids by 3 dads (dont ask!!) it took me years to get money from the first 2 through the csa and now touch wood they do both pay, I'm newly seperated from my husband and now he's refusing to pay too....i sure know how to pick em!!

AW You do dont you!! I hope you get something sorted with your ex husband soon, it's a pain when its all up in the air and nothing is sorted.

 

[purpledahlia]

Im a bit nervous about all this as the FOB is refusing to be any part of it he doesnt even want to be friends with me, we dont talk and he told me i am just ruining my life and if i get in touch ill be runing his. Anyway he wont eb signing the birth cert or having any parental responsibilities over this baby but i will call csa about him and see if they can do anything, ill be on benefits till i can get back to work but even if he pays x amount and i only see 20 of it i will still feel better that he is paying his part, even if it goes into the gov. why should he not have to pay for his child!? bloody men!

 

[edinsam]

Purple quite right - dont let him get away with it.

Mines is exactly the same - we have no contact whatsoever, none, havent spoken to him in ages despite the fact that I work beside him every day. Mines earns around 90K a year so too bloody right I will be at CSA straight away and if it takes years then it takes years - I will not be giving in! You shouldnt either

 

[itsmelou1984]

Purple quite right - dont let him get away with it.

Mines is exactly the same - we have no contact whatsoever, none, havent spoken to him in ages despite the fact that I work beside him every day. Mines earns around 90K a year so too bloody right I will be at CSA straight away and if it takes years then it takes years - I will not be giving in! You shouldnt either

it wont take that long if ya hav his national insurance number they can check up on everything using that. i let my DD's dad off a whole year without paying/giving im a chance...but as soon as january came i csa'd his ass and its been the best thing since, i got £300 a mth (as he owed arrears!!) and now i get just short of £270 a month, it really is worth it. if your on some kind of benefit i think tey take some back, but im not so i wouldnt know what thats all about. just split up with father of the twins...and damn right ill be csa'ing his ass too!! x

 

[edinsam]

hi itsme

DOnt you worry hun I am on the case

Not as easy as getting his NI number as he is self employed and will try every trick in the book - should have know better than to mess with me huh!!!

Sorry to have read your story - i think you are coping remarkeably well

 

[purpledahlia]

edinsam - i will contact csa for sure. You will have no trouble with CSA as you know his workplace and salary etc, I unfortunately dont have all his details BUT once you make a claim they go by that date, so if it takes one year, it will be backdated for that year. So if i have to wait i will, I would rather he saw the child and paid, but if hes going to refuse then I will take his money no matter how selfish he thinks i am being. (he said i am for mentioning csa - i think HE is the one being selfish!) I dont have his national insurance number though but i know he was in jail and i know when and he had a tag at his parents house and i know the area, I might try to find out the company though. but im assuming as he has a criminal record (even tho he got not guilty) that will make it easier for them to track him? x