March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

[lauraclili]

I can say similar today too! It's amazing not to be worrying about puttnig her to bed.

3 naps today. First one this morning I fed her outside her bedroom (a first for a sleep-time) and she went down without a grumble. Second she slept in the carrier and third in the carseat (I'm just too busy! ) this evening she fed and went to sleep without a grumble at all. AMAZING!!!

 

[waula]

Yay!!!!!

 

[emera35]

Laura, that's ace! . And Loo go Al, if he IS a baby whisperer, send him over please!

F is currently up and bouncing I was going to try and settle her down when she woke up, but she seemed really upset. When I got her up she tried to bite my shoulder, so I checked her mouth and she has another tooth poking through. I've decided that the midst of teething might not be the best time to try and sort bedtimes out, so we'll just take it easy for a bit until she's not teething so heavily. Plus, she's making me laugh in the jumperoo!

 

[waula]

Emera I love how chilled out/flexible you are with your kiddies. Glad F is making the evening a more pleasant one for you!! Naughty FIL. I'm feeling incredibly lucky with N and his sleep. But we've had no teething episodes at all so maybe this too is a stage that will pass!
All lads and babies needing sleep help tonight - good luck!!! Fingers crossed for a quiet night for you all xxxx

 

[lauraclili]

Well, she decided she wanted to be up again at 10.30. Followed the programme and she went to sleep again after 20 minutes. We'll see how it goes. :/

 

[emera35]

Just found out that my friend who had cancer died this afternoon. I feel very sad, it makes everything else seem so trivial.

 

[lauraclili]

Oh, Emera, I'm so sorry. Trivial is right. There's nothing that can make something like that right.

x

 

[lozza1uk]

Emera So sorry to hear about your friend xx

 

[MsCrow]

Emera, I am so sorry. Cancer seems to be the most brutal of companion for so many at the moment. I hope she had the most quietest of times. I hope that doesn't seem strange to say.

Loo, wow, we might need to borrow Al. How was everyone's nights?

Our was......TERRIBLE. the previous night she woke at 12:30 so I fed her, she seemed to cry with wind, i settled her and she was asleep by 01:20. She slept till 07:00 and that was fine. Last night she woke at 12:45, I fed and winded her...seemed to be upset by it again, settled her, and she woke up, so we did the return and check thing, leaving her to go from fading to on the edged crying before going in to be boring and settle her down. No joy. I fell asleep at 03:50 and MrC finally succeeded and came back to bed at 05:00. She woke half an hour later, I tried to settle her a few times but tiredness made me lazy so I fed her. It minority worked, she was asleep an hour later until 09:30.

I really don't know what to do, probably not feed her the first waking and see if I can settle her back down? I dunno. Last night was trying. What would you do differently?

 

[emera35]

Thanks. MsC, not a strange thing to say at all xx

Re the sleeping. Personally, if a night went that far off piste, i'd be suspicious that there was something other than standard sleep issues disturbing things, ie. digestion discomfort, teething, development, growth spurt. I take it the first night you described is close to normal than the second?

Weaning puts alot of strain on their digestive system, even if they are physically ready for it, so certainly for the first month or so, they can get, well, indigestion i guess. Obviously you know E best and know where she is at, but are you sure she's ready to be pushed towards sleeping through right now (however gently)? I mean, blatantly we all want to be getting a full night's sleep, because, my god, i know i'm completely knackered most the time! But, i know that some of the time when F wakes in the night she'll settle down again, but equally, some of the time, she won't and does genuinely want a feed. Whilst that situation stands i'm not going to have any luck getting her back to sleep if she's hungry, or if i do, it will be for a limited time, so sleep wise i'm better off feeding. The same with digestive discomfort, wind, teething or anything else that's disturbing her. If i don't deal with that first, i'll never get her to settle, no matter how much sleep training i try to carry out.

I'm reading a book called "Toddler Taming" written by the Dr that developed the CC method. Its aimed at 1-4 years old, but the first thing it says is not to attempt to start sleep training during times of illness, teething, life disruption or developmental phases. That definitely applies to babies too. I'm all for sleep training, it sorted our lives out with Roh, and i will do it with F too. Its also heartening to see the success some of us are having. However i personally have decided that the start of weaning (coupled with teething in F's case) is not the ideal time to start it, as F's wind discomfort is causing her real issues. Once her system is used to the food, and the teething settles, we'll be all systems go!

So yeah, i guess that's what i personally would have done differently, to answer your question. Only other thing i can think, reading your post again is that you might be right to not feed her when she first wakes and try to settle her without instead. Its possible that feeding her is giving her wind as she perhaps doesn't actually need it, so its actually creating the situation in the first place. Is she waking upset, or just waking and grumbling a bit when she wakes at 12.30am ish?

 

[MsCrow]

Emera, thanks, you have sort of confirmed what I had been thinking.

Last night was waaaay off piste and I think it's because she's still got a residue of a cold and is struggling with digestion and wind. I probably shouldnt have fed her but just cuddled her for a bit she wasn't going to settle because she was straining and is a little constipated. Part of me wonders whether to scale the weaning down to a simple veg/fruit only affair or either to carry on with some grains/bread as I feel these are probably the issue.

With regards to the sleep training, I do think she needs to get the hang of daytime naps again and learning to settle herself after her goodnight feed. Feeding her to sleep was becoming a battle and a strain for us both, when really, she can manage to settle off after by herself. I do think that's a good habit for her to form at the moment.

For the rest of the night though, with food being introduced I don't think there's as much mileage in 'following' anything in particular at the moment. Not with the variables already involved. When she's woken at 12:30, unusual for her, she's struggling on her front, travelling up the cot, half asleep and getting crotchety.

I do think I need to spin out the first night feed to as late as possible as I'm sure that hit her stomach and just caused problems. I'm not really sure how to help her with the indigestion though and it's something that neither BLW or Weaning Made Easy address. Naughty really, as all babies have to get used to food and I should think 9/10 it's never a seemless transition. What are you trying?

Sorry this is all me-me, I hope someone might read it and either be experiencing the same thing or have some answers

 

[Sambles]

Hi ladies,

Not been on here for ages. We had no Internet access and then we went away for 2 weeks so I've got loads to catch up on but just wanted to say hi xx

 

[emera35]

Hmm, MsC, as far as constipation goes, a bit of freshly squeezed OJ with breakfast should help a lot. Also make sure to offer water with all food. You could try offering water in the night too, it can help ease discomfort. For indigestion I rub F's belly and lower back. Its best to do it in a backwards C direction, so clockwise, but don't describe a full circle. I also pump/cycle her legs. Alternating those 2 things can help stimulate the spasms in the gut, so help with constipation and indigestion.

As far as the weaning. You are probably right that its the grains/bread that are more work to digest. Its a bugger, because you don't really want to take them out of her diet at this point. My solution is that I give the grains/proteins predominately for breakfast and lunch, and keep dinner light and simple, currently just root veg and rice crackers mostly. I find then she's more comfortable in the evening.

As far as the sleep training, they do say if you can crack naps then the night time will follow, so your instinct to work on daytime sleeping is likely bang on. All I know is any sort of CC or in and out the room settling isn't going to work if they aren't comfortable enough to sleep. Definitely not feeding to sleep and allowing her to self-settle is the way to go. To be honest, once she can regularly self settle, the battle is pretty much won.

If it helps, we are in very much the same position here. But with the teething, I'm holding off an changes until she's calmer. X

 

[waula]

MsC bit cOnstipated here too... I'm offering water in a cup and breast feeding 4-5x in the day and offering satsuma with his breakfast and after three days it had effect tonight. Not really noticed him getting uncomfy with it just really really strains with it but then it is a very different consistency to BF poo!!! Good idea of emera for doing simple tea time...

Noah has been on three "meals" a day for a week now. I always find uncomfy wind issues in N to be more unburped burp from milk to be honest but I know they're all so different!!! Sorry it's not going smoothly for you both and last night sounds like a shocker. I wonder if there are teeth on the horizon for her? I think tackle day time naps like you said (and she has been able to do thAt in the past) and I've been avoiding feeding to sleep in the day since our meet up and it definitely helps. I do feed to sleep at 7pm and dream feed though.

N had another 4oz bottle this afternoon

Good luck tonight lads and babies xxxxx

 

[Skadi]

Hmmm the Sleep Expert or whatever her title is said to tackle nighttime sleep before worrying about naps. Fortunately naps are generally no problem here lasting an hour or more. I have no issues getting her to bed and asleep its the sleeping through the night that is a problem.

We struggled yesterday at night time but only because it was her first night alone. Once we got her asleep that was that until about 2 am and then she went right back to sleep with no problem after a quick feed and didn't get up again until 7 am. I'm hoping sleeping alone will help her sleep better at night.

 

[lozza1uk]

Skadi - did you hear any ghosts on the monitor?

Sambles - HI!!! Your nights any better? (mine aren't) Was wondering where you'd disappeared to!

MsC - now obviously I have no sleep advice, but Z does that creep up the cot thing and that's why I've always thought he was in some discomfort. If by a miracle he wakes happy he doesn't do that. Annoying as I'm sure he wakes himself up sooner by shuffling into the bars of the cot and smacking his head. I try and position a couple of soft toys where I think he might head but he likes to keep me on my toes, even in his sleep!

Speaking of sleep... He had a mammoth nap from 3.30-6 this afternoon so at 10pm is still awake last night DH helped out (well, he did a full bottle at 10, we'd give to bed at 9. I had to do the next feed at 1, at least I got 4 hours. He was then up at 3.30 and then 5 so marginally better than earlier this week. We had him in between us from 5-7 which was lovely actually, felt like a proper little family!

My parents are here tomorrow, hooray!!

 

[waula]

Yay for 4 hrs Lozza...and the parents coming over

N was up at 2&6 am but he sorted himself out I think...but he's just had a proper screams fit at breakfast time. Boobed him at 7, offered banana porridge fingers at 8 and 10mins in he had a shitfit so boobing him again... No two days are the same are they!!! Obviously on a milky day...

Grim day here, gales and torrential rain = baking nommyness.

Me and DH sawed/chopped a huge pile of wood yesterday and I am suffering today...

 

[emera35]

Weather is minging here too!

F was up at 11, 2 and 5. The 5am one was OH getting up for work though. Then she slept until 8am, and even Roh slept to 7.30am. I guess because its so dark with the rain. Haven't even given F any breakfast yet... She's had a bit of boob, but not much. Seems happy enough though. Guess we'll do a 2 meal day today.

Feeling fed up in myself, a bit snuffley. Hope its not a cold!!!

 

[loolindley]

I'm going to go back and read in a moment, but I just wanted your opinion on something.

Al and I have this relatively new thing where we are being 100% honest about everything, but this sometimes means that I end up asking questions that I know I won't like the answer to and end up with my feelings hurt. Such as last night when I asked him how attracted he has been to me since Dharma was born.

Though he said he was absolutely 100% attracted to me now both mentally and physically, he admitted that after D was born he wasn't really. He said that he found it weird that I pushed her out, he found breast feeding odd, and I was carrying a bit of pregnancy weight. He said that the physical attraction only really came back once we started having sex (after about 3 months).

He said that he didn't understand it all, and now looking back he see's that bf is a beautiful thing, and birth the most natural thing ever. As for the weight comment, he said that he doesn't know why he said it.

Like I said before, I asked the question, and he was only keeping his Sid of the bargain by being 100% honest, but eeesh, sometimes the truth hurts!

I feel funny about the thought of ever being pregnant again, that he would feel the same. He assures me that knowing what he knows now he wouldn't, but like I said, he can't help that he wasn't attracted to me.

Can any of you lads think of anything to say? Sorry, I know this is so personal, but I didn't know what else to do. It's been eating me up.

 

[MsCrow]

Hey Loo, I think the truth thing is hard because you're asking someone to be utterly open about their thoughts but the danger is, it's in their current state of thinking. Life changes, we reflect on things privately that we probably keep to ourselves, it's very rare we tell all, a 100%, even in a relationship. Truth is, there are lots of things I wouldn't tell MrC and he would probably say the same about me. Am I keeping things from him? No, not really, I choose to love him and accept some faults, they are sometimes transitory, sometimes a permanent feature. We're not perfect, but as much as I want to know everything, I know we function better with some private pockets to ourselves. This isn't a criticism. For now, this is how you and Al need to be. It will change, an ease will develop that allows some private space. Just maybe not now? That said, in this current state of truth, accept that some truths are past ones and Al has changed inbetween, like the one about how he sees you. If you focus on how he saw you, it's had to see you now, beautiful as you are.

Thanks for the comments about indigestion etc. We've had some small, soft poo since then and a much better night. She went to bed at 7:30pm and woke at 2:45. I misread the clock and thought it was 12:45 so sent MrC in to settle her, at which point she got pissed off and I realised it was later so fed her and she was asleep and back in her cot by 4am. She woke up at 9am. Maybe she was knackered, she did spend yesterday being off and whingy. I'm sure that was the constipation.

Emera, I am currently sticking to breakfast and lunch and not doing dinner, it's too close to her bedtime so I can be confident she's not got lots to digest over bedtime. She was waking up howling in pain at 8:30pm so rather than cut out grains, I moved her mealtimes back. I can also be sure I'm eating with her. So it's generally more sociable.

Breakfast today was porridge fingers made with some orange juice, raisins and cinnamon. Plus water, plus fresh kiwi fruit....also a good tummy stimulator.....