March Mamas 2012 Baby Group (Closed Group)

[loolindley]

Weather is shite here too. It is the North though...I guess it's to be expected.

Lozza, have you tried rolling a towel up, and putting it under the sheet at the top of the cot? Just wondering if could act as a bumper without actually being a bumper iykwim? I hope you have a nice few days with your parents.

MsC, D is straining almost constantly. She doesn't appear I'm pain with it, but is obviously having some digestion problems that go hand in hand with weaning. The others have suggested what I would, but most of all you know E best, so you know if she is ready for trying to sttn of if you are best waiting a few more weeks. xx

Emera, I'm so sorry to hear about your friend.

Waula, what are you baking?

Skadi, hopefully sleeping in her own room will see a difference for you. It took D about a week to get in th swing of things, but she got there.

As for D, night sleeps are faultless. She goes down generally without a fuss, and stays down until 6-30. Day time naps though are driving me up the wall. This girl is EXHAUSTED, but won't nap for longer than 30 minutes. Now that would be ok, apart from the fact that she is tired, yawning and rubbing her eyes an hour after waking. So do I let her catnap? Or do I try and work on longer naps? And how do I do that? I kept her awake for 2 hours this morning, much to her distaste, but she still only had 28 minutes (yes, I do time them!!!) it took me longer than that to get her to sleep in the first place!!

What to do?

 

[KellyC75]

:wave: Hello Lad's ~ Hope you & bubbas are all well

 

[lozza1uk]

Hi Kelly, are you still moving back?

Loo - re Al's comments, if it helps I wouldn't be surprised if that's how all men feel? Some just don't voice it? I know that's pretty much what Nathan thinks - definitely while pregnant he told me he didn't find me attractive - just fat. Lovely. I told him lots of men find pregnant women attractive, he said he didn't know why!! He has also been heard to say "gross" a couple of times when he's seen z squirting milk out! I don't know what I can say to allieve your fears about being pregnant again, but sadly i don't think he's alone. Parents har arrived mid post. Sorry!

 

[loolindley]

Lozza, that is actually really nice to know. Not that Nathan said that, but that its probably more common then I thought.

McC, I think (know) you are right too. It felt important at a certain point to be completely honest, but things like that can have the wrong effect. I know technically he is doing the right thing by telling me when I have asked him outright, so maybe I should just reasses what I ask and think about what I really want to know.

Kelly long time no see! How's tricks?

 

[wondertwins]

Loo- Welcome to my world. DH and I do not have a "deal" by which we tell each other the 100% truth all the time. It's just the way DH is. It's a trait that I both love and hate.

On the positive side... I have absolute respect and trust in him since he's incapable of lying or shading the truth in order to protect my feelings. When he tells me something loving, I can take it to the bank as being 100% sincere. I also feel like we can talk about absolutely anything. Nothing is off limits. So those things are good.

On the other hand... I've had to learn not to ask certain questions that I don't really want to know the answer to (e.g. any question like "Am I the [FILL IN ADJECTIVE]-est girl you've ever been with?") I also have to keep my emotions in check when I'm craving compliments because he does not dish them out gratuitously. Over time, I've come to see the value of his honesty, and I've come to accept that I should not be upset with him for his feelings. Sometimes I'm upset with the way he expresses those feelings, but he can't control the way something makes him feel any more than I can.

The way Al felt about you right after you gave birth is very normal and is no reflection on (a) how attractive you really are (b) how attractive you are to him now that his brain has adjusted or (c) how much he loves you now or then. Many mamas develop hangups after giving birth too. After DS1 was born, I felt really gross about the idea of sex. But just like Al got over his temporary feelings, so did I. My point is... you shouldn't worry about future babies just because of the potential that it will create these fleeting feelings again. I bet if OHs were honest, 90% found us unattractive for a few months after giving birth. I think it's mother nature's way of giving women time to heal and bond with baby.

As for the 100% honesty thing.... hopefully Al will eventually learn when to bite his tongue or soften the edges on the truth. And if he does learn that skill, please send him to my house for some husband training since my DH is the worst.

 

[emera35]

I know for a fact (he told me) that OH was really weirded out about sex after seeing me give birth. It really put him off for a while. Obviously he got over it as we have 2 kids now, so yeah, i see it as a natural contraceptive!! I think its very common for partners to feel a bit weird sexually during and post pregnancy. OH quite likes me pregnant, but we have the opposite problem in that i totally go off intimacy whilst pregnant, and also whilst BF to some extent. It hasn't put OH off wanting another baby though, so i guess its a temporary issue.

 

[loolindley]

You lads are so wise.

Al and I had a good chat when he got home from work. I've got a bit of a self destruction button when it comes to things like this, it's like I crave the information because I know it will hurt. It's not healthy. Anyway. We had a good chat and I mentioned the things that you all said and we decided that when I ask questions like that, instead of being so brutal, L will ask if I really want to know, and if I do he will tell me, but it may just stop me in my tracks and realise that maybe I don't need to know.

I'm not sure if it'll work yet, but Al hates telling me things that upset me, he just feels like he has to to be completely honest like we agreed.

Bah.

Thank you again for your opinions. It all opened a horrible can of worms.

 

[vitfawifetobe]

Loo - im like that ask question i want to know the answers to even though they will hurt - i think all men go through ' changes' aswell when women deliver and are new mums, main thing Al loves you

Im sure you guys have tried this but we have a day time routine - so we wind down first - if its noisy or we have been doing something active we take her to her room pop her in sleeping bag,blinds down and maybe have a cuddle or a song then into her cot - this made a huge difference from extending naps from 30/40mins to 1/ 1.5 hours

L x

 

[lauraclili]

Hi Lads, well. I'm writing this from a hospital bed! Boo! I lent down to pick A up out of her cot and put my back out. I'm now in hospital on morphine and I can't bf. to pick up on the FB conversation, A is now working her way through my frozen stash and seems happy to be drinking from a bottle.

I'm not allowed to bf at all at the moment but hopefully I'll be back at it in a couple of days. I really hope A wants me back

Morphine is ace so I'm feeling okish but otherwise this is a bit shit. First night away from the baby. This is not what I had envisaged.

I've loads I could say to reply to your posts, I'm sorry but I can't get me head in gear at the omoment.

 

[waula]

Oh god Laura - so sorry to hear this but thank goodness A is ok with the bottle... please get better soon xxxx

 

[wondertwins]

Yikes, Laura!!! I'm so sorry you're in pain, and away from A. But enjoy the morphine!!

 

[emera35]

Oh no Laura, poor you!! I hope it gets sorted sooner rather than later.

 

[MsCrow]

Laura! I am so sorry, why a rotten time, it's so hard to be separated. Are you able to express? I hope so. When I landed up in hospital with pancreatitis I was able to arrange a visit from the lactation consultant. Here's what I know so it might help you but please request a similar visit as they have access to the drugs bible that will accurately say what you can and cannot take and how long after you need to wait before feeding.

On morphine you can breastfeed IF it is over 6 hours after the last dose as it leaves the body very quickly. There will be some residual drug but its up to the mother to weigh up whether feeding and mainting supply is more important to her. If you need to remain on a strong painkiller see if you can be prescribed therapeutic doses of paracetamol (yes really) by IV along with an IV of Tramadol. Tramadol IS safe to breastfeed with. I was changed over to this as it was as effective as the morphine but it works differently (a bit like an anti anxiety drug but the side effect is to block pain receptors). A lactation consultant would be able to advise your consultants properly about this.

Another thing is that as a nursing mother it is your right to have a private room to stay in so you can express but also to enable you to have unhindered access to your baby. E was brought in to me, and could have stayed with me, despite it being a closed ward to children. I hope you feel able to discuss this with someone. Thinking of you.

Edited to add: the lactation consultant brought me ten sterifeed bottles that the ward stored when filled with milk ready to go home to E. You ought to be able to request similar.

 

[loolindley]

Laura, that's terrible. I hope will be ok. MsC has lots of wise words for you, and there is nothing I can add apart from get well soon. xxxx

 

[MsCrow]

I forgot to say, Lozza, glad to know another baby is doing the commando sleep-scootch up the cot at night. When she's wakeful...but still asleep....she gets all faffy and starts to get entangled with herself moving up the cot. Sometimes I'm sure that is what makes her get grumbly and wakeful but by that time, it's too late to be able to just soothe her back off.

Loo, glad you had a chat with Al about truthfulness. I'm sure things will change over time, but of course, that's you changing as well as him. Part of that might be feeling confident about yourself not to need to ask anymore.

Just got back from a meeting. Full of cold, the one E had first, then MrC....rats. Hotty-botty (hot water bottle) time and bed. Meh. Let's hope tonight is a quiet one. E had formula before bed as my expressed stocks are so low, I just can't express what I could, anyone else still expressing? I have enough to feed E on demand no problem, just not much building up to express it seems.

 

[emera35]

MsC I found this last time, that because your supply gets so much more stable at this point it can be hard to build a stash of ebm up. I'm not struggling at the moment, but then I only express once a day for a daily bedtime bottle for F. I've managed to put about 40oz in the freezer, but I can't really add much to that, I just cycle it so that none of it is too old. I thnk I'd struggle if I wanted to increase my stash though. Roh was full on combi-fed by this point as it was such a hassle trying to express. My supply has definitely been a load better and more reliable this time round though.

 

[Skadi]

Lozza - No Ghost on the Monitor.. yet. Although I was woken up around 5 by a little girl Roaring like a dinosaur. lol

Yikes Laura, at least the Morphine is good?!

 

[citymouse]

Ouch, Laura! Bending over like we do is so rough on our backs, I'm sorry yours decided to go on strike over it!

MsC's advice sounds great.

for being away from A.

 

[lauraclili]

MsC, awesome advice. Thank you! I aske dot speak to a pharmist and I made a decision to take less and be I more pain but be able to feed her.

Anyway, I'm on cocodamol 30/500 which is apparently as much as I can have and diclofenac which I had after my csection so must be ok.

Thanks for all your messages. You're all tops!

X

 

[lozza1uk]

Eek Laura I've only just seen this!! Hope you're doing better now, what a bummer and probably not the lovely first night away from A you imagined (maybe a spa weekend, romantic night away, boozy night with the girls....). On the positive side I gues you know now a night awayis possible if wanted!! Get well soon xx