MaternityUnits to allow partner to stay

[Ozzieshunni]

Being from California, I was terrified when they said DH couldn't stay. Alex was in the NICU, I was recovering from a c-section and in tears because four hours later I hadn't seen my son since his birth

I think in special circumstances, a father should be allowed to stay. I think these include: premature births, birth defects, c-sections, or if the mother is in severe distress or pain (lots of stitches).

My experience is that MWs act very irritated when you bug them for anything. If they want to spend money, invest in some damn sensitivity training!

 

[summer rain]

I think it's a great idea. I personally think with clever design and planning that eventually all hospitals can be built in such a way that there is a private space for mums who have just given birth, and their partners. I think it's very unfair that in this area they do have private rooms where OHs can stay but they are £120 a night (even if you've had a horrible birth) but in other areas the same is free. In this area even if you give birth in a mw led unit if you're staying for longer than a few hours you either go onto the ward or have to pay for a private room. Private rooms or proper cubicles don't have to cost a fortune, if they are planned well and these days with most mums going home a few hours after giving birth very few would be needed, they could easily utilise the space that the old wards took up. I went to see my OH's aunt after giving birth a couple of years ago- in a ward with 20 beds there were about 3 mums in there, most of the beds were empty, now that is a waste of space, money and resources. It wouldn't happen overnight but I think this is one time when private finance could help. Maybe a budget hotel chain could be allowed to design and build the rooms and charge say £20 a night? Xx

 

[Tasha]

Oh, that is an interesting thought summer rain x

 

[bump2be]

I think it's a great idea. My husband stayed at the hospital for the entire time I was there after a c section. I would have been devastated if he'd had to leave. Granted it wasn't very comfortable for him, since he had to sleep on an uncomfortable chair bed for three nights. We were also in a semi private room and 1 night had to share it with another family which was a little bit weird.

 

[Quackquack99]

i do think that if dads could stay then it would free up the midwives hands and time. i was paralysed for 14 hours after my c section so i had to buzz in. there were 52 women and only 8 midwives and they understandably took long to come round. but i had no one to help me with a shower. it took me 15 minutes to get pj bottoms on. it hurt so much. if my oh was there he would have offered more help than the midwives. im still bitter about my experience.

 

[ttc_lolly]

I had another think about this after my recent stay in the antenatal ward this week, and definitely think it would be a great idea. The visiting times at my hospital for partners is 8am-8pm, and a lot of the women there had their partners there the whole of that time. A lot even stayed until after then too and the MW's were ok with that.

To those that have said ''it wouldn't be fair on religious women i.e. muslims, because they'll be uncomfortable with other men around'' - why do you think that? I'm just wondering because I know 2 of the ladies that have commented in this thread that are muslim themselves and they have said they think it's a great idea too so I find it odd that others are kind of putting words in to their mouths, as so to speak! The hospital I am due to give birth in is in a very multicultural part of NW London and there were lots of ladies there of different races and religion, and no one seemed to mind about other women's partners being there all day. In fact, some of the pakistani and indian ladies had their partners there more than others as english was not their first language, and their husband's were able to help translate the wife's needs to the MW's and doctors.

 

[readytotry]

In private rooms fine, on ward I would hate it.

I stayed 3 nights on the induction ward and one night they let partners stay (including mine) because it was snowing and they thought they might be able to get us into the delivery suite that night. It was a four bed room and with four partners as well it was full and there was zero privacy. Plus all the extra noise generated by people chatting/coming and going/watching the tv. Plus one dud something awful in the toilet! I'm not a prude but I didn't feel my best either and it was annoying having to make sure I was fully covered at night time to nip to the loo.

I had a private room after the birth (paid about £120) and it was bliss. Still made oh go home to get some sleep.

I didn't have a csection though so I was up and about in a couple of hours. I can imagine that if you are effectively bedridden and the midwives are busy that it must be very hard. But I'd rather they spent the money on more auxiliary nurses than let partners stay.

I can see there are some special circumstances (such as mentioned by pp) but I would hate for it to be the norm and would want a home birth even more (not allowed one as will probably get gd again).

 

[emyandpotato]

I wish this had been allowed when Rory was born! I was so lonely and frightened, it ruined my first few days being alone on that ward. It's a wonderful idea.

 

[MrsKyliePaton]

My first I would of loved for him to stay, the midwifes were horrible to me, I was shattered after 24hr labour, luckily though I had her at 9.40am so he was allowed to stay as we didn't get upto the ward until 2pm visiting time, but it was a hard lonely night

DD2 was born at a midwife led unit, I had her at 2.15am and he was allowed to stay aslong as he wanted, we were the only ones on the ward though for the whole time I was there, dh went home around 6am as he needed to go to the bank as we bought our new house that day but I was out by 6pm that night

 

[24/7]

I'm not convinced by the need to have double beds, but I think Dad's should be allowed to stay. My hubby was allowed to stay with me after our little boy was born in the early hours until visiting time at 10 and just came onto the ward with me, and the other ladies in the room. I can't say I would be bothered in the slightest by other husbands being on the ward and seeing me etc after giving birth, I'm sure they are just focusing on their own wives etc and would have no interest in me. xx

 

[bumpbear]

I think every patient in a hospital would love to have someone stay. Think about poor dying cancer patients whose relatives have to leave by 8pm. In the interests of fairness, I think money should be spent on improving medical services/facilities and staffing, not making space for partners to spend the night. Private rooms that can also raise money for the hospital make sense.

 

[Cee108]

My hospital couldn't even give me a separate room (that I had requested - you pay £60 per night for that but I was 4 days early so it wasn't available) My ward had 3 other women in it, all with crying infants. I didn't want my partner to leave me alone at 3:20am but in all fairness, when I was woken up by the sound of guys talking at 8am, I was a bit weirded out having to share all this space with new people, and I realized how disturbing it would've been for the other women had my husband stayed.

I understand Dads have a hard time being an active participant through the labor and then having to leave like that, but in all fairness, the mother and the partner should both be resting after labor any way so its better they get that time apart. I know I would've chatted till morning had we had a separate room and he was allowed to stay.

 

[Unbridled]

My hubby stayed both nights with me (first night was the induction and then the night after the birth). We didn't have a double bed, but there was a sofa that folded out to make a bed for him; hubby said it was comfortable. I had an easy labor, but I was still glad to have him there. And he was so nervous and anxious about being a daddy I don't think we could have pried him out of the room with a crowbar!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I think every patient in a hospital would love to have someone stay. Think about poor dying cancer patients whose relatives have to leave by 8pm. In the interests of fairness, I think money should be spent on improving medical services/facilities and staffing, not making space for partners to spend the night. Private rooms that can also raise money for the hospital make sense.

I agree. In some hospitals though they just dont have the space. I would rather a ward and more beds than using space for a private room. x