I am actually shocked I can even write about this, I have been struggling ever since. On July 4th I went to use the bathroom and then felt something coming out, it was like a sac so I immediately just held it in and screamed and went to lay down. My husband didn't know what was going on and called 911. Got to the hospital and the ER doctor said I was miscariaging and sent to delivery.... HOWEVER, when I got there, they did an ultrasound and the baby was fine, and healthy with a strong heartbeat... 18 weeks + 5 days along (which was actually almost a week ahead)... They told me as long as i didn;t have an infection that I could be sent to a high risk facility and they would sew up my cervix... Unfortunately, I begin getting a high fever, and they discovered I had an infection... They assumed it was baby, which is why I was in premature labor. I still can't go into more details because it is just too hard to deal with. I still can't believe it. The fluid they got showed it WAS NOT my beautiful angel, they do not know where it was coming from. But my water broke and there was nothing else they could. Within less than 24 hours, I went from having a great normal pregnancy, to going into labor and delivering a baby boy. It happened so fast, and we were sent home the next day. To have your baby one minute, and then to suddenly lose him with no explanation is heartbreaking.
My strong prince lived on his own for 2 hours after he was born. We did not want to know the sex, so my husband was the one to tell me the sex. My daughter was able to see her little brother and say hi (she is almost two). We were together as a family, and I will cherish this moment for the rest of my life.
I am still grieving, it has not even been a month yet, and I just can't believe it. I see him everyday and every night. He looked beautiful, just like his daddy. I know he sleeping peacefully, and never suffered. He is our guardian angel and protecting his family now.
I am here because I just need someone to talk to. I don't know anyone who has gone through this, and it is hard for them to understand...
A parent is not supposed to outlive their child.... Especially like this...
I just started getting out o the house, and it hurts to see all of these pregnant woman. I was at the dentist and a pregnant chose to sit right next to me when there were empty seats everywhere... and the dentist assistant working on my tooth was pregnant... I mean it feels like I keep getting slapped over and over. My post appt is August 10th and we want to start trying again when the doctor clears us.
There may be some type of blood disorder I have that may make me prone to infections more when pregnant, and they said if it the case, I will take baby asprin during my pregnancy from now on. I pray that is the case, and this never happens again... My cervix was normal, and was not incompetent or anything....
Ladies please stay strong, and know our angels are with us always, in our hearts. for everyone. We are strong beautiful women to go through this, and still keep pushing on...
In loving memory of my baby boy
Dejuan Jr.
7 ounces and 8 1/2 inches
storm PAL is so scary 
I have been a little nauseous off and on and nipples tender at times but that is it which has me worried. My EDD is 5/9/2012 after 1 mmc in June.
x
