Maybe a good thing I haven't conceived. Need to vent. Thoughts are welcome.

[MamaBunny2]

Aww ladies love the furbaby photos! So cute! Oh and turns out my bf did not go walk his dog yesterday... he took me to a very nice dinner at Olive Garden instead! I was craving some pasta lol

 

[NurseGinger]

Sass827: he is a hoot, i love him ohhhhh so much! He is my best friend, even my bf was like "i know if it was between me or the dog you would leave me". I laughed so hard... They are so adorable with their own personality.

I bought olive garden dressing at the store and made my own rendition of Olive garden the other day for dinner! haha

 

[MamaBunny2]

Yum! I just finished my leftovers Been feeling bummy the past few days. I've been trying to do stuff around the house and lose energy quickly. Not looking forward to full work weeks starting again tomorrow

 

[NurseGinger]

I get extremely tired after i eat which is crappy... i go from what little energy i have to zero! Hope you have good days with your full work week coming up, dont over do it!

 

[MamaBunny2]

Well apparently feeding his dog comes before feeding his family. We desperately need to grocery shop and he has limited funds this week. His dog is with his dad and needs food yet it's still my bf's responsibility to go buy and deliver the food so the dog can eat. And that's exactly what he's going to do knowing our situation... but it's ok bc he knows I can always pull through and take care of things. Seriously so annoyed right now. Not to mention he wasn't able to contribute towards the living expenses this week so that fell on me as well. Not how I wanted to start my weekend.

 

[Sass827]

Wth?! I thought he was working a job making more money now? Where did all his money go? This is bs. Are you sure it's actually a positive to keep him around?

 

[MamaBunny2]

I don't know, my best guess is cigarettes, beer, eating out (we went to dinner quite a few times, something I also pay for as well) and gas. Then when he got paid last week (Thursday) he had to make his truck payment and a credit card payment and his paycheck wasn't as much as prior ones (why I got so pissed when he didn't go into work the other week bc he was "sick" and doesn't get paid sick days yet clearly could have worked). I thought he had some extra money from his previous paycheck SO because he paid bills and didn't have much left I knew he had to get gas and cigarettes so I was ok to wait until next week when he could likely make up the difference... but then he made the comment about buying dog food and I was like whaaat?! If he can buy dog food then he sure as heck can contribute SOME to bills or groceries. I feel like our home and responsibilities there should take precedent over that $#%& dog It just makes me worry and super stressed because I wonder how it will be once the baby is here. He really needs to just let his dad handle the dog 100% and focus on priorities at home such as bills, groceries and preparing our house for the baby. He hasn't touched our bedroom remodel since last weekend I think. At this rate, I might as well dish out the money and hire someone to come do the work. I was super pissed!!! He ended up (according to him) calling his dad and explaining that he couldn't get the dog food this week but I didn't care he already made his point and I'm sure I did as well. In my opinion, because he is so financially immature and obviously his thinking of things clashes with mine, he really needs to let his dad be responsible for the dog 100% and focus his attention on responsibilities at home and preparing for this baby.

 

[Sass827]

I'd lump the dog in with the smokes. He doesn't need them either.
Did you know they've proven you can get cancer just from breathing it off someone's clothes? Like they don't even have to smoke around your LO. Just having it in your clothes is enough.

 

[MamaBunny2]

Yeah I don't care for the smoking especially now that I'm pregnant. The smell really gets to me... and he smokes in his truck when I'm in it! He doesn't smoke in the house or in my vehicle. I used to smoke before and quit for over a year then started back up when I met him but quit as soon as I got my . I don't miss it at all, especially since my mom is a lung cancer survivor and my dad died from lung cancer (he was a smoker). I don't want him smelling of smoke and coming around the baby I know I have high expectations but if I really wanted to boss him around I would force him to quit smoking and drinking. I can't see him doing either, or caring for the dog when he can't always financially take care of things that should be a priority. I told him his dad is going to continue to expect him to pay for the dog stuff as long as he keeps doing it. And in my opinion, he needs to just forget the dog altogether because for one he cannot care for it and handle things at home, and two I refuse to ever have the dog in my house or where I am living. I won't live with him if the dog is roaming in the house because I'm not cleaning up after it or living in filth and slobber and stink. It's funny he didn't care for the dog when he had it, just fed it... but now that his dad has it he still has to do things for it and is even taking it to be neutered which is something that was supposed to be done from the very beginning when he moved in with me.

 

[x-ginge-x]

Sound like your having a really rough time. I have been stalking your post from the word go. I have been there and done this, and ironically I opted to keep the dog! I can train the dog spent years trying to train him! I am thankful I didn't get pregnant to him that is for sure. I suggest having it out with him and giving him an ultimatum, he has to man up and grow up!! For you and the baby.

 

[MamaBunny2]

I forgot to update that after my huge rant he (according to him) called his dad and didn't get the dog food. He did pitch in some money towards groceries which is much appreciated, but of course made sure he had money for cigarettes and I know he needed gas in his truck which is a necessity. This guy has grown tremendously in the past year and taken on A LOT. If I express my dissatisfaction he winds up doing whatever to make me happy... but I'm to the point where I'm not happy even when he "fixes" things. I want him to focus on things at home without me having to get upset - the bedroom getting worked on and finished, his finances, our responsibilities at home (groceries, bills) and then preparing the nursery. What really irritates me about the dog STILL is my bf takes the time and money to still care for it and buys the food and treats and bones and took it to the vet and is having to handle the surgery appointment (when it should've been done to begin with) but isn't putting in steady time with the work at home or making progress enough to where I can't be concerned. He worked on his brother's car all Friday evening from 2 or 3pm until 8pm or so and didn't touch the bedroom work all weekend And he says he won't feel like doing anything during the week because he works long hours, which I understood, but yet can deal with vet appointments and not to mention they are nearly 45 minutes to an hour away. I tried to put it like this - if it came down to diapers or dog food which is it? Formula or cigarettes? Attending to other people's needs or the dog or finishing the bedroom so the baby has a room?

 

[Sass827]

I thought he didn't have the money this week? Was he holding out on you?
I think the ultimatum sounds like a good idea ginger.
The amount of stress this is continually causing you is no good for you, LO, or your other kids.

 

[MamaBunny2]

He had money on him after paying his truck payment, credit card and insurance... but it wasn't enough to pitch in on groceries or bills along with getting cigarettes and gas in his truck and buying the dog food. So in other words, any extra money he did have, let's say $20 maybe, after getting gas and cigarettes was going to feed the dog that is in his dad's care. He definitely needs gas in his vehicle to get him back and forth this week for work. Cigs... eh... I understand it's an addiction, but it's a bad one and he really should seriously consider quitting and take steps towards doing so. It'd be not only beneficial health-wise but financially as well Smoking shouldn't be a priority and paid for while he assumes me to solely handle the financial responsibilities because he didn't budget properly this week... and I'm sure it won't be the last time it happens, though for awhile now he's been doing really good and it's taken a lot of stress off me. He did pitch in $50 towards groceries - whatever extra money he had (aside from gas and cig $), as well as a bunch of change he took to the counting machine for cash and $20 he got from his grandpa over the weekend for replacing brake lights on a vehicle. That's better than nothing right now to me and shows effort on his part to not leave it all on my shoulders. But I shouldn't have to say anything or make a big fuss! He came home after work yesterday and did some work to our new bedroom closet. I thanked him for doing so and explained to him that I get major anxiety and worried about all this because even though 7-8 months seems like a long time it really won't be with everything we have going on and I want him to realize that and be motivated to work towards getting things finished sooner rather than later so we can be ready and relax a bit before the baby comes. He thinks I'm not wanting to be with him and that's not it at all, I just get so frustrated with his actions and choices and now that I'm pregnant it's worse! We have a new life to prepare for and bring into the world and I want him to see the urgency in getting things done.

 

[prettybirdy27]

It looks like he is more concerned about the dog now than when the dog lived with you, by getting it neutered, walking it, etc...you don't think he's trying to "fix up" the dog and fly straight so that you'll let the dog come back, is he?

 

[MamaBunny2]

That's what I told him, that it seems he's being more responsible for the dog now than he was when it was with us. Well because his dad has the dog he is forced into doing these things pretty much. And shortly after re-homing the dog he had mentioned eventually bringing it back once it "calmed down and stuff" (ha, I don't ever see that happening and besides that's not the only issue with the dog - I'm not going to clean up after it nor is it going to be roaming, slobbering and shedding throughout my home) but unless my bf moves out the dog won't be living with him and I wouldn't live with my bf. My bf doesn't want me to take down the partition wall that's in the back room but I am eventually going to do just that and repair the walls where we had to move and heighten that stupid thing only for his dog to continue jumping it. I want that area of the house to be usable space again.He never walked the dog before (maybe once during the few months the dog lived at my house) and doesn't walk the dog now either. Right around the time when his dad took the dog my bf had said he was going to go over there and take it for a walk which never happened (not surprised but totally fine with me). Since the dog has been with his dad (the day after Christmas) he has went over there twice to visit right at the beginning to check on how it was adjusting and whatnot, scheduled an exam and neuter, taken it to the vet for the exam and vaccine(s) and apparently now is having to pick up the dog after the neuter (not sure if he's taking it there too but it's Feb. 4th - same day as my prenatal appointment), and he buys the dog food, treats and bones when his dad says needed (which is way more frequent than when my bf had the dog). My three chihuahuas together take at least 2-3 months maybe to finish a large bag of dog food. His dog finishes a bag that size in 2-3 weeks! His dad and I privately spoke around the beginning of the year and he even said that perhaps my bf will realize the dog is too much now and just relinquish it or whatever. I shared this info with my bf and he said "Well then why does my dad expect me to buy the food and stuff for the dog?" and I replied with "Because you keep doing it, and obviously it's not working because we have more important stuff to focus on and unless you say something to your dad and explain that financially it's a problem then it's not going to change". It really gets under my skin when my bf tells people or says to me "She made me get rid of my dog" or "I got rid of my dog for you" Yes, he got the dog out of the house which relieved SO much stress and trouble for me (and the neighbors) but in no way did he get rid of the dog, it's less than 10 minutes away at his dad's and he is still caring for it. Now he doesn't see the dog as much (see, as in visually looking at it, because that's what he did when it lived with us... not spending necessary time with it) but he doesn't have the time nor finances to which is exactly my point to begin with. We have no savings, have a baby on the way, are remodeling a bedroom for us and have to prepare a nursery, as well as doc appointments, bills, groceries, etc. and he sometimes has trouble doing his share physically (because he works long hours) and financially (because he doesn't manage his money well) so caring for a dog should be out, in my opinion.