MamaBunny2
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*WARNING* This is a long story but an issue that keeps resurfacing.
My partner and I have been trying to conceive for the past 6+ months. When he finally moved into my house with me 5 months ago he insisted that he bring his 5 y/o pitbull/mastiff dog. Let me mention that I have 3 chihuahuas, all 8 y/o, and one being my late father's. I had already tried having his dog over two separate periods of time. This dog walked while urinating on the floors. Urinated on my dining table. Urinated twice along the side of my son's bed. Urinated on my couch. Defecated in his open link metal crate twice, which resulted in dog crap smashed on the floor and on the wall. So needless to say, his dog ended up back at his house. When I would visit him at his house, the dog would always jump up on me, sometimes scratching me. He had free roam of the house and was allowed on the furniture and the bed. One time my bf and I were getting frisky, the dog actually got on the bed and that ended my passion right there. The house was covered in dog hair and smelled bad because he would not clean regularly (or at all it seemed) and his dog had urinated and defecated in the carpeted house. When I would stay over, he would let the dog in bed which was awkward and uncomfortable due to it's size (eventually he began crating it at night). His dog had even urinated on his mattress on two separate occasions. He was constantly at my bf's feet and wouldn't lay still unless he had a bone or something to occupy him. When he would lay his head/jaw on the bed or sniff at something up close, it results in slimy drool left behind. When he drinks water he drips it all over the floor. I refused to let that happen in my home and wanted nothing more than that dog to not move in. After a lot of arguing and compromising, we agreed that the dog could come as long as my bf built a partition wall in the back room of my house because I did not want it free roaming. He was to have his dog neutered and he said he would take the time to train it or take it to obedience classes. He also bought a solid plastic kennel to replace the open metal wire crate so if the dog happens to defecate while locked inside then it won't get on the floor or walls and can be sprayed out and cleaned easier. My dogs were expected to stay in the new area with his. My little chihuahuas with his big pitbull mix made me nervous.
The partition wall was built, the kennel bought and a larger dog door was installed that led into the fenced in backyard. Then the dog was brought over. As soon as my bf took him into the new "dog area" he urinated on the floor. Other than that, things seemed to be going rather well. All of the dogs got along and the slobber, hair and mess was contained to one area. Then one day the cops were called because his dog was charging at the fence at our neighbor who was mowing the lawn. This dog would charge straight to the fence at the neighbor while barking, jumping and carrying on. It could nearly clear the fence and of course our neighbor was scared and concerned. So now every time our neighbors want to step foot in their backyard they call us and ask that the "large dog" be put inside. His dog has somehow gotten out of my backyard before so I wouldn't put it past him to jump the fence. His dog also pushed open the gate on one side of the yard and was roaming in the front and my late father's dog ended up wandering out. I had no idea until a neighbor from across the street notified us. I would be heartbroken if something had happened to my dad's dog. I have been the one to clean the dog area and have done so numerous times. My bf has not, at all. I have even bathed his dog and cleaned the kennel and mat. My dogs have gotten so smelly and I'm so glad they're super easy to bathe. His dog and the kennel smells like dirty dog and makes that area of the house smell. The amount of hair his dog sheds is ridiculous. I move my dogs' kennel and there's a very small amount of hair barely visible against the baseboard. I move his dog's kennel and can see SO much hair. Then when I sweep there's even more hair, sometimes it's like tumbleweeds of dog hair back there. Thank goodness that isn't in the rest of the house! And shortly after arriving, his dog managed to jump the partition wall and door that was built so that became a regular thing. The dog will just jump the wall to get into the rest of the house. We had to stack boxes and junk on the wall ledge and even had to block the door numerous different ways. I have set my large reptile tank and stand by the door and used my large dog gate but the dog jumped on that one time my bf came home after going back to work since being laid off and the gate broke in half. So then the tank was pulled against the door and pushed away when we needed to enter the area but even then his dog would push the door the wrong way nearly breaking it. I have tried letting his dog into the house with my dogs while we are on the main level (I own a split level home) and just sitting in the living room watching TV. His dog won't sit still unless he has a bone to chew. My bf only gets him little rawhide stubs and the dog goes through one in minutes so it doesn't keep him occupied. And there's nasty slobber on the blanket I lay down in order to protect my floor and carpet or his jaw gets all foamy with slobber once he's done chewing and then he wants to roam around and sniff things or lays his head on or even brushes his mouth across my furniture which potentially gets slobber on it all. I get so paranoid that the dog is going to wander and urinate or leave a slobber mess on something. My bf has walked his dog at least once, maybe twice, since they moved in. We live in a nice neighborhood with sidewalks and there's a park at the corner. I have told him he needs to exercise his dog.
Over the weekend I finally had enough. I felt bad that the dogs were stuck back there so I let them all in the house. I gave them all a rawhide stick and mine laid down and chewed away for awhile. His dog didn't have any so the few sticks I gave him didn't last long to keep him from wandering. Then he went and wiped slobber on my couch. I was trying to fix breakfast and had to keep checking on his dog so finally I put him back in the dog area. My bf was busy outside in the front and though I suggested it, he couldn't have his dog out there with him because it would chase people or wander off. I felt bad that my little dogs have to be stuck back there and were all smelly so I bathed them and let them in the house all Saturday. They were SO good sometimes I forgot they were there because I had grown used to them being in the dog area. They have always been the type to just lay around and snuggle up with each other. I set their little beds out and they all cuddled up for most of the day. My bf was busy that day so nothing was really said until that night he mentioned I should put my dogs back in the dog area and it wasn't fair his dog couldn't be out. I had planned on putting my dogs in their kennel at night as I usually do so I did. Sunday morning I let my dogs out again because they did so well the day prior and I knew they would start smelling again being back there with his dog. My bf immediately noticed and made me put my dogs back with his and of course an argument ensued. Of course I had to pile everything up so his dog wouldn't jump and throughout the day he kept knocking over the piece of wooden door I leaned up against the dog area door and kept sliding his his huge kennel around the room, probably because I shut his kennel door so my dogs wouldn't lay in the smelly thing. Finally I had enough of his dog jumping up on the partition wall and door and also the crap piled up. Not to mention the fact that since his dog has moved in it's been extra work for me, not him. Also, the complete lack of discipline and obedience. I told my bf he needed to make the wall higher and of course I was met with attitude and another argument ensued. My bf said that he would choose his dog over me and would leave me to keep his dog around. That really stung because I haven't had contact with my mother in months because for some reason she refuses to come around as long as I'm with my bf. I chose to stand up for him over my own mother... and this guy will choose his dog over me? And he has yet to neuter and attempt to train his dog. Owning a large breed is more work and he doesn't seem to want to put in any effort. I tried explaining to him this is why I prefer small breeds, especially Chihuahuas because they are less mess and less work, plus aren't a threat to people for the most part. I can't imagine his dog ever coexisting with us in my home or any other home we are in. I refuse to live in filth and couldn't imagine trying to care for an infant while dealing with that. Does my bf think he will have time for a baby when he doesn't take the time to simply exercise his dog? He claims the dog is like his child so maybe it's better that we don't have a human one of our own. His mom and him claim it's a package deal, I suppose just as my kids and myself are a package deal... but I suppose if my kids would slobber, urinate and defecate on his things and he had to clean up after them all the time then he would feel differently! I don't see getting rid of my dogs as I do primarily all of the cleaning at home and that includes all of the dogs. If any of the dogs, his and mine) are there or not it won't affect him at all because I'M the one cleaning everything. The fact that he obviously can't commit to me as I have to him concerns me. Why am I trying to have a baby with this person, ya know? Maybe that's why it hasn't happened yet and I'm sure the stress doesn't help. I don't really care to get a bfp anymore, in fact, I'm considering going back on the BC pill.
I truly appreciate anyone that takes the time to read and share your thoughts.
My partner and I have been trying to conceive for the past 6+ months. When he finally moved into my house with me 5 months ago he insisted that he bring his 5 y/o pitbull/mastiff dog. Let me mention that I have 3 chihuahuas, all 8 y/o, and one being my late father's. I had already tried having his dog over two separate periods of time. This dog walked while urinating on the floors. Urinated on my dining table. Urinated twice along the side of my son's bed. Urinated on my couch. Defecated in his open link metal crate twice, which resulted in dog crap smashed on the floor and on the wall. So needless to say, his dog ended up back at his house. When I would visit him at his house, the dog would always jump up on me, sometimes scratching me. He had free roam of the house and was allowed on the furniture and the bed. One time my bf and I were getting frisky, the dog actually got on the bed and that ended my passion right there. The house was covered in dog hair and smelled bad because he would not clean regularly (or at all it seemed) and his dog had urinated and defecated in the carpeted house. When I would stay over, he would let the dog in bed which was awkward and uncomfortable due to it's size (eventually he began crating it at night). His dog had even urinated on his mattress on two separate occasions. He was constantly at my bf's feet and wouldn't lay still unless he had a bone or something to occupy him. When he would lay his head/jaw on the bed or sniff at something up close, it results in slimy drool left behind. When he drinks water he drips it all over the floor. I refused to let that happen in my home and wanted nothing more than that dog to not move in. After a lot of arguing and compromising, we agreed that the dog could come as long as my bf built a partition wall in the back room of my house because I did not want it free roaming. He was to have his dog neutered and he said he would take the time to train it or take it to obedience classes. He also bought a solid plastic kennel to replace the open metal wire crate so if the dog happens to defecate while locked inside then it won't get on the floor or walls and can be sprayed out and cleaned easier. My dogs were expected to stay in the new area with his. My little chihuahuas with his big pitbull mix made me nervous.
The partition wall was built, the kennel bought and a larger dog door was installed that led into the fenced in backyard. Then the dog was brought over. As soon as my bf took him into the new "dog area" he urinated on the floor. Other than that, things seemed to be going rather well. All of the dogs got along and the slobber, hair and mess was contained to one area. Then one day the cops were called because his dog was charging at the fence at our neighbor who was mowing the lawn. This dog would charge straight to the fence at the neighbor while barking, jumping and carrying on. It could nearly clear the fence and of course our neighbor was scared and concerned. So now every time our neighbors want to step foot in their backyard they call us and ask that the "large dog" be put inside. His dog has somehow gotten out of my backyard before so I wouldn't put it past him to jump the fence. His dog also pushed open the gate on one side of the yard and was roaming in the front and my late father's dog ended up wandering out. I had no idea until a neighbor from across the street notified us. I would be heartbroken if something had happened to my dad's dog. I have been the one to clean the dog area and have done so numerous times. My bf has not, at all. I have even bathed his dog and cleaned the kennel and mat. My dogs have gotten so smelly and I'm so glad they're super easy to bathe. His dog and the kennel smells like dirty dog and makes that area of the house smell. The amount of hair his dog sheds is ridiculous. I move my dogs' kennel and there's a very small amount of hair barely visible against the baseboard. I move his dog's kennel and can see SO much hair. Then when I sweep there's even more hair, sometimes it's like tumbleweeds of dog hair back there. Thank goodness that isn't in the rest of the house! And shortly after arriving, his dog managed to jump the partition wall and door that was built so that became a regular thing. The dog will just jump the wall to get into the rest of the house. We had to stack boxes and junk on the wall ledge and even had to block the door numerous different ways. I have set my large reptile tank and stand by the door and used my large dog gate but the dog jumped on that one time my bf came home after going back to work since being laid off and the gate broke in half. So then the tank was pulled against the door and pushed away when we needed to enter the area but even then his dog would push the door the wrong way nearly breaking it. I have tried letting his dog into the house with my dogs while we are on the main level (I own a split level home) and just sitting in the living room watching TV. His dog won't sit still unless he has a bone to chew. My bf only gets him little rawhide stubs and the dog goes through one in minutes so it doesn't keep him occupied. And there's nasty slobber on the blanket I lay down in order to protect my floor and carpet or his jaw gets all foamy with slobber once he's done chewing and then he wants to roam around and sniff things or lays his head on or even brushes his mouth across my furniture which potentially gets slobber on it all. I get so paranoid that the dog is going to wander and urinate or leave a slobber mess on something. My bf has walked his dog at least once, maybe twice, since they moved in. We live in a nice neighborhood with sidewalks and there's a park at the corner. I have told him he needs to exercise his dog.
Over the weekend I finally had enough. I felt bad that the dogs were stuck back there so I let them all in the house. I gave them all a rawhide stick and mine laid down and chewed away for awhile. His dog didn't have any so the few sticks I gave him didn't last long to keep him from wandering. Then he went and wiped slobber on my couch. I was trying to fix breakfast and had to keep checking on his dog so finally I put him back in the dog area. My bf was busy outside in the front and though I suggested it, he couldn't have his dog out there with him because it would chase people or wander off. I felt bad that my little dogs have to be stuck back there and were all smelly so I bathed them and let them in the house all Saturday. They were SO good sometimes I forgot they were there because I had grown used to them being in the dog area. They have always been the type to just lay around and snuggle up with each other. I set their little beds out and they all cuddled up for most of the day. My bf was busy that day so nothing was really said until that night he mentioned I should put my dogs back in the dog area and it wasn't fair his dog couldn't be out. I had planned on putting my dogs in their kennel at night as I usually do so I did. Sunday morning I let my dogs out again because they did so well the day prior and I knew they would start smelling again being back there with his dog. My bf immediately noticed and made me put my dogs back with his and of course an argument ensued. Of course I had to pile everything up so his dog wouldn't jump and throughout the day he kept knocking over the piece of wooden door I leaned up against the dog area door and kept sliding his his huge kennel around the room, probably because I shut his kennel door so my dogs wouldn't lay in the smelly thing. Finally I had enough of his dog jumping up on the partition wall and door and also the crap piled up. Not to mention the fact that since his dog has moved in it's been extra work for me, not him. Also, the complete lack of discipline and obedience. I told my bf he needed to make the wall higher and of course I was met with attitude and another argument ensued. My bf said that he would choose his dog over me and would leave me to keep his dog around. That really stung because I haven't had contact with my mother in months because for some reason she refuses to come around as long as I'm with my bf. I chose to stand up for him over my own mother... and this guy will choose his dog over me? And he has yet to neuter and attempt to train his dog. Owning a large breed is more work and he doesn't seem to want to put in any effort. I tried explaining to him this is why I prefer small breeds, especially Chihuahuas because they are less mess and less work, plus aren't a threat to people for the most part. I can't imagine his dog ever coexisting with us in my home or any other home we are in. I refuse to live in filth and couldn't imagine trying to care for an infant while dealing with that. Does my bf think he will have time for a baby when he doesn't take the time to simply exercise his dog? He claims the dog is like his child so maybe it's better that we don't have a human one of our own. His mom and him claim it's a package deal, I suppose just as my kids and myself are a package deal... but I suppose if my kids would slobber, urinate and defecate on his things and he had to clean up after them all the time then he would feel differently! I don't see getting rid of my dogs as I do primarily all of the cleaning at home and that includes all of the dogs. If any of the dogs, his and mine) are there or not it won't affect him at all because I'M the one cleaning everything. The fact that he obviously can't commit to me as I have to him concerns me. Why am I trying to have a baby with this person, ya know? Maybe that's why it hasn't happened yet and I'm sure the stress doesn't help. I don't really care to get a bfp anymore, in fact, I'm considering going back on the BC pill.
I truly appreciate anyone that takes the time to read and share your thoughts.
Yes I definitely wouldn't want my daughter feeling like I do. I shouldn't be struggling either financially. I'm making the most I ever have and yet can't pay all of my bills. I would like to find some form of BC that won't mess up my cycles or that I can quickly recover from when and IF I ever TTC again. I'm so sad right now. I really wanted this for us and more so for him. It would be his first child and I just know he would be an excellent father, even if other things aren't that great he still is a very loving, attentive person. But I don't want to have a child and deal with this extra work and stress or for him to take his dog and walk out of my life 
I asked him what he has done for that dog in the 5 months it's been there that I hadn't already mentioned (build the wall, get the crate, walk the dog once or twice and feed it) and he didn't have anything else to add. And it will start out with him doing these things but it won't last and we're back to square one. It's been more a nuisance for everyone else in the home and our neighbors. I'm embarrassed that our neighbors have to call us just so they can step foot in their own backyard. It's sad. I can't live like this anymore, the added work and stress and disappointment. The dog staying there isn't an option for me. It is legally my home, full of primarily my belongings such as the furniture, and I do have a bit of OCD and like to have things clean and a certain way. Like I've said there is no way I can see my family coexisting with a large breed like that. If he bought a house and furnished it I wouldn't want the extra work to clean that either and I know he wouldn't and I refuse to live like that. I go above and beyond to help him and then in turn have high expectations that aren't met and become sad and depressed 
He is ready to take his dog and leave for good. I have never felt bad for standing up for him to my mom and standing my ground, which resulted in not having her around or contact with her. I felt he did not deserve to be in that situation and treated like he was by her. I made the choice on my own to give up my own mother, another *human* being, for this person. His mom, dad and entire family are in his life, they are great and include me and I love them as well.
After hearing him say he would leave me for the dog, I now feel like a sick person, a horrible daughter that cut her mom out for what? I feel that if he got rid of the dog he would resent me and my dogs. I deal with my mom not being in my life and although it hurts sometimes, especially now, I love my bf and want a future and family with him so that trumps everything else, in my mind. The smartest thing I ca do is NOT bring a baby into this.
The stress is causing him and I to fight frequently, and the stressful atmosphere is affecting my kids and they should be #1 over anyone and anything! I feel like I failed. Why was I trying to have a child?!?! 
Not once, but twice. So much for that. Like I've said before, it's just not fair all around 
I feel like you just really don't know until you have kids of your own. I think, not only is he putting my best interest into his decision but also that of the dog and finding a better living arrangement for the dog is mature and responsible of him. He may have realized that it really is more than he is willing or able to take on. This isn't just about a big slobbery dog, it's also about an unruly high energy dog that has been treated as a human equal and to correct or try to change that behavior will take an extensive amount of time that my bf doesn't have and I'm pretty sure wouldn't he wouldn't commit to for long because of the high demand and he realizes that, as difficult as it is. My dogs are my responsibility. Even with three it's still SO much easier and cleaner and the fact that they are a totally different temperment makes them require very little attention and overall are just super low maintenance. They are content to just be in their little dog bed caves with the household action happening around them 
And I totally agree with you on the mom situation. I always hope she'll come around eventually because I'm so afraid something could happen to her at any moment. She is older (74 y/o) and had me as a "surprise" when she was 43! I was my dad's only child 
I'd hate for any chance of contact with her to be completely taken away forever on these terms 
