MIL/Grandparent support thread

[whit.]

I defiantly have a monster in law...
A very long story cut as short as I can.
When my oh was growing up his parents treated him like crap and his dad beat him up, but didntnt go near his sisters or other brother so from day 1 I didn't like them, but I hid it well.

We were together 7 months when I got pregnant with Zane, they didn't even say congratulations but she thought she could then try to push my oh into us getting married before he was born...I didn't want to so she instantly from that second started to hate me.

We got married when Zane was 5 months old, they paid cuz they wanted us married, wish I hasn't let them get involved....she took over and even invited my husbands ex, I was fuming n she just didn't seem to get it.

They never bothered with Zane unless we spent money we didn't have to go to them, they are in Scotland I'm in the midlands. When they did see Zane they weren't even that nice to
him.

Fast forward 2 yrs november 2010 my oh died. We were in Germany so his parents were coming to visit anyway and got her the day after he died.
They ignored Zane even when he was trying to play with them, they didn't even hug him. She was rude to my family.
I was organising the funeral and the bitch didn't talk to me but she went behind my back trying to change things. I knew exactly what my oh wanted so I was doing just that, she wanted things doing that only she wanted. The vicar then told her no u can't change things, talk to kimberley(me)
She made the wake a party for her n her mates to just get drunk like she did to our wedding reception. I was ignored.

Since the funeral she's seen Zane twice and only saw Corey when he was 2 weeks old, he's now 6 months old. I'm a single mum n I don't drive n she expected me to travel up to her even tho she can afford to come to us and takes 6 holidays a yr for herself...she had a week off n didn't see the boys, she's now planning to go new York to see a friend for a week but when she's seen the boys it's been for 4 hours, if that.

I've missed out so much of what that woman's done to us, god I hate her!
So yes that's my I laws...aren't I lucky lol

If I could reach through my computer and hug you, I would. I had no idea about your OH. Your story brought me to tears.

What a horrible MIL. I can't imaging you losing your OH and then he being a fucking **** like that.

I hope you have a good support system otherwise.

Your baby is an angel, makes me think your OH is there in him watching over you and Zane.

 

[Wiggler]

My MIL is a witch! I actually hate it, it goes on and on and ON all over her FB about how it loves it's family, would do anything for them, yet it has never once made the effort to come and see its grandchildren, it has only met Dylan on the few occasions that OH has took him down there and it has never even met Bethany. OH took Dylan down there for the whole day once, it didn't even offer him anything to eat!!! It couldn't even be bothered to take us up on the offer of us paying its travel expenses to come and visit us! it has never sent a card, or even asks about them. I hate watching OH get so upset cos that bitch don't care.

I recently deleted it and the rest of the scum known as OH's family off my FB and cut them out of mine and the kids lives and feel much better for it, well I did, until yesterday, it rang my mobile phone, GRRRR If OH doesn't answer his phone, and we don't answer the landline don't ring MY phone!!!!!!

It called OH recently when he was in hospital, he actually thought that it rang him because it cared, but no, it only rang so it could plaster every single medical detail of his illness all over facebook.

Please do note, I refer to MIL as it because I am certain no human on earth could be as uncaring and vile as that thing is.

 

[moomin_troll]

I defiantly have a monster in law...
A very long story cut as short as I can.
When my oh was growing up his parents treated him like crap and his dad beat him up, but didntnt go near his sisters or other brother so from day 1 I didn't like them, but I hid it well.

We were together 7 months when I got pregnant with Zane, they didn't even say congratulations but she thought she could then try to push my oh into us getting married before he was born...I didn't want to so she instantly from that second started to hate me.

We got married when Zane was 5 months old, they paid cuz they wanted us married, wish I hasn't let them get involved....she took over and even invited my husbands ex, I was fuming n she just didn't seem to get it.

They never bothered with Zane unless we spent money we didn't have to go to them, they are in Scotland I'm in the midlands. When they did see Zane they weren't even that nice to
him.

Fast forward 2 yrs november 2010 my oh died. We were in Germany so his parents were coming to visit anyway and got her the day after he died.
They ignored Zane even when he was trying to play with them, they didn't even
hug him. She was rude to my family.
I was organising the funeral and the bitch didn't talk to me but she went behind my back trying to change things. I knew exactly what my oh wanted so I was doing just that, she wanted things doing that only she wanted. The vicar then told her no u can't change things, talk to kimberley(me)
She made the wake a party for her n her mates to just get drunk like she did to our wedding reception. I was ignored.

Since the funeral she's seen Zane twice and only saw Corey when he was 2 weeks old, he's now 6 months old. I'm a single mum n I don't drive n she
expected me to travel up to her even tho she can afford to come to us and takes 6 holidays a yr for herself...she had a week off n didn't see the boys, she's now planning to go new York to see a friend for a week but when she's seen the boys it's been for 4 hours, if that.

I've missed out so much of what that woman's done to us, god I hate her!
So yes that's my I laws...aren't I lucky lol

If I could reach through my computer and hug you, I would. I had no idea about your OH. Your story brought me to tears.

What a horrible MIL. I can't imaging you losing your OH and then he being a fucking **** like that.

I hope you have a good support system otherwise.

Your baby is an angel, makes me think your OH is there in him watching over you and Zane.

Thank you
I no my oh is still here with us, he makes him spelt known but that's a whole other story lol
She is the coldest person I have ever met and I just hope she drops dead soon or just leaves us alone

 

[MizzDeeDee]

My MIL is a witch! I actually hate it, it goes on and on and ON all over her FB about how it loves it's family, would do anything for them, yet it has never once made the effort to come and see its grandchildren, it has only met Dylan on the few occasions that OH has took him down there and it has never even met Bethany. OH took Dylan down there for the whole day once, it didn't even offer him anything to eat!!! It couldn't even be bothered to take us up on the offer of us paying its travel expenses to come and visit us! it has never sent a card, or even asks about them. I hate watching OH get so upset cos that bitch don't care.

I recently deleted it and the rest of the scum known as OH's family off my FB and cut them out of mine and the kids lives and feel much better for it, well I did, until yesterday, it rang my mobile phone, GRRRR If OH doesn't answer his phone, and we don't answer the landline don't ring MY phone!!!!!!

It called OH recently when he was in hospital, he actually thought that it rang him because it cared, but no, it only rang so it could plaster every single medical detail of his illness all over facebook.

Please do note, I refer to MIL as it because I am certain no human on earth could be as uncaring and vile as that thing is.

It huh?

That made me chuckle a bit.

 

[pupsicle]

My MIL apparently told my Grandparents-in-law that LO is underfed and the health visitor said she is malnourished??! She's the perfect weight, following the 50th centile and health visitor has always said how good she is doing. MIL is obsessed with feeding my LO, she wanted us to wean her at 12 weeks, we waited until 6 months and she went on and on about what she was eating, she can have this off my plate... erm no she can have her own food, not lick stuff off your dirty fork. And the other day she was round here and OH had a sandwich, LO wanted some (she'd already eaten and we're trying to teach her not to steal other peoples foods lol) so we said no, MIL pipes up with ohhh she can have sandwiches you know.... Yes I know!! I do feed my child!

 

[Wiggler]

Big hugs to everyone with awful MILs

I gave my OH an ultimatum the other day when I decided it was a cow and I didn't want it it my life. Either MIL comes to our wedding or I do. I guess he kind of wanted me there as he chose me

 

[MyTurnYet]

Can I join?

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Can I join?

Of course! Everyone can join.

 

[ValentinesGal]

My MIL wants LO to call her 'mawmaw' or as she spells it on facebook 'mama' and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it....seriously, woman?!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

My MIL wants LO to call her 'mawmaw' or as she spells it on facebook 'mama' and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it....seriously, woman?!

My own mom likes to be called "maw maw". Didn't bother me to be honest until one day I heard her say.." say maw maw.. say maw maw." .. or at least, it sounded like that.

Jumped all over her for it too.

It's funny really. Sometimes I think grandparents in general cross boundaries. It's whether when confronted about it if they learn from it or not. If I tell my parents not to do something again they stop. My MIL(who is really playing nice right now since she was cut-off for about 2 months) when told not to do something would get belligerent or sullen and then do it again.

 

[MrsHedgehog]

My MIL wants LO to call her 'mawmaw' or as she spells it on facebook 'mama' and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it....seriously, woman?!

My own mom likes to be called "maw maw". Didn't bother me to be honest until one day I heard her say.." say maw maw.. say maw maw." .. or at least, it sounded like that.

Jumped all over her for it too.

It's funny really. Sometimes I think grandparents in general cross boundaries. It's whether when confronted about it if they learn from it or not. If I tell my parents not to do something again they stop. My MIL(who is really playing nice right now since she was cut-off for about 2 months) when told not to do something would get belligerent or sullen and then do it again.

That sounds like my MIL. She stops speaking to us for days if we tell her she's done something we're not happy about no matter how gently we put it. Then once we're 'forgiven' she'll go right back to doing it again. Our biggest problem is that she walks into our appartment whenever she feels like it without knocking. The appartment is owned by her and she lived there until DH and I moved in and they divided the house into 2 appartments, one for them and one for us. She still treats it like her own home though, will come in and move things about etc. She is so controlling and now she's trying to control what I do with LO too.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

My MIL wants LO to call her 'mawmaw' or as she spells it on facebook 'mama' and sees absolutely nothing wrong with it....seriously, woman?!

My own mom likes to be called "maw maw". Didn't bother me to be honest until one day I heard her say.." say maw maw.. say maw maw." .. or at least, it sounded like that.

Jumped all over her for it too.

It's funny really. Sometimes I think grandparents in general cross boundaries. It's whether when confronted about it if they learn from it or not. If I tell my parents not to do something again they stop. My MIL(who is really playing nice right now since she was cut-off for about 2 months) when told not to do something would get belligerent or sullen and then do it again.

That sounds like my MIL. She stops speaking to us for days if we tell her she's done something we're not happy about no matter how gently we put it. Then once we're 'forgiven' she'll go right back to doing it again. Our biggest problem is that she walks into our appartment whenever she feels like it without knocking. The appartment is owned by her and she lived there until DH and I moved in and they divided the house into 2 appartments, one for them and one for us. She still treats it like her own home though, will come in and move things about etc. She is so controlling and now she's trying to control what I do with LO too.

I live accross from mine... you live basically nextdoor to yours... SO...

 

[ValentinesGal]

Yea, mine will get upset a plays the 'victim' role too no matter how we try to talk to her...cries and gets upset and goes over the top "well, I just won't even talk to LO then because I don't want to hurt your feelings". So I usually have to pick my battles. However, I did get coy with her on facebook the last time she wrote 'mama', by replying to her by saying "Sure, we should have lunch so MayMaw can see LO". Then she had the odasity to inform me that I spelled it wrong! Umm...no...I'm MAMA...you guys are maymaw and pappaw. Even though its still a close name, I'm okay with it, but that's all I need, when LO says mama for the 1st time, she's going to think 'Oh! He said my name!' I just haven't seen her in a few weeks, so haven't had the chance to talk to her about it.

I live down the street from my MIL...I think I would pull my hair out if she lived right next door!!!

 

[AmethystDream]

My MIL lives at the other end of the country and it still isn't far enough. How do you guys cope?

 

[moomin_troll]

I'm another who loves far away from my mil and that's still to close lol if I was to live near her I'd of killed her by now!

I think along as we always remember this thread we won't be bitch inlaws lol well I could never be as bad as mine, I hope lol

 

[ValentinesGal]

I'm another who loves far away from my mil and that's still to close lol if I was to live near her I'd of killed her by now!

I think along as we always remember this thread we won't be bitch inlaws lol well I could never be as bad as mine, I hope lol

I sure hope we don't get that bad! lol

 

[moomin_troll]

Its my birthday tomorrow and I've not even had a card from them even tho I sent her one for her bday last year. She can forget ever getting a card from us again :/

 

[frangi33]

pls can i join?

My MIL went mental at my OH as he could only spend an hour with his adult brother on his bday on xmas eve. My OH politely explained to her that his pregnant wife was doing xmas dinner for 12 the next day and needed his support so an hour each way visit to his brother and and an hour visit (total 3 hours) was all we could do on this one year. my OH's brother wasn't even fussed and chuffed that his sibling made the effort at all. We spent xmas with OH's family the yr before so that yr was my turn for us to spend with my family!

and prior to going to his brothers to wish him a happy bday the MIL asked my OH to pick up her sons bday present for her as she couldnt be bothered! My OH had to pay for it!

When my OH rang to wish them a happy xmas the next day she refused to come to the phone

As a result my MIL decided not to bother turning up to my OH's bday a few days later - he didnt get a card or a gift or a phonecall. poor man - not a word from his own mum

I just worry with our little one on the way that the MIL is going to think that treating our child the way she treats her own kids is acceptable - if she refused to wish our LO a happy bday because of a stupid spat or let LO down in any way I'd go nuts

 

[MrsPOP]

*pulls up a chair*

Oh I am so joining this thread!

I detest my MIL with a passion. Short story is to her, my LO might as well not exist as she only bothers with her daughter's two kids. She's seen LO a handful of times and she is. 7.5 months yet she seen our 3 month old nephew every day of his life.

I know some people would love their MILs to be absent in their lives but we've never encouraged them to be distant. We'd love them to see LO more but they just don't seem to care. My DH is broken hearted because he had no idea they would be so cold... But I knew, woman's instinct and all that.

 

[soph77]

I'll join too. My mil is ok, I don't have any major dramas with her, but there is just something. I can't quite put my finger on it but she drops litle digs here and there, like a backwards compliment. I don't think I have ever been good enough for her son. I have felt this way long before I married him and had our baby too. She rarely bothers to come and see LO and when she does it is only for a few minutes. She only wants to come when he is awake, never bothers to ask how I am or offered to help out when he was newborn. She ignores me when talking to my husband and when I try to get in on the conversation she talks over the top of me. There are other little things that bug me about her and the way she is with LO but it will have to wait to my next post.