MIL/Grandparent support thread

[MizzDeeDee]

I'm so glad to see so many ladies!

Someone was talking about the close proximity of MILs. I hate it. I have begged, pleaded, and argued to move. OH is fine with moving, but the economy is pretty bad here and getting a mortgage wouldn't be easy.

I'd personally go live in a cardboard box in the woods instead of here (if it wasn't for LO of course).

I also say.. like some of you.. having a MIL like this is a great guideline of how I DON'T want to be when LO gets married and/or has a child.

Moonin- I do NOT get your in-laws AT ALL. I would think they would send you a card JUST to keep contact with the grandchildren.

Mrs. POP- I can't stand when parents/grandparents play favorites in such an obvious way. At least pretend you don't have a favorite. Don't make it so damn obvious.

Frangi and soph

 

[AmethystDream]

We should make a set of rules for being future MILs.

1. I promise to allow my children to grow up

 

[MizzDeeDee]

How about:

2. My grandchildren aren't my children. If they were, they would be called.....MY CHILDREN. NOT my grandchildren.

 

[ValentinesGal]

3. I will not ignore my DIL's requests regarding LO and brush them off like she's being unreasonable

 

[AmethystDream]

4. I will not play the victim.

Oh if only!

 

[MrsPOP]

5. If I can't be arsed helping out with my grandchild I will be honest and upfront about it instead of pretending to be interested but backing out on the rare occasions my DIL might need a hand.

 

[MrsPOP]

6. I will punch my husband if he ever calls our grandchild 'it'.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

6. I will punch my husband if he ever calls our grandchild 'it'.

Did he do that? Really?

 

[Lil_Pixie]

7. I will love all my grandkids equally

When I was pg mil was literally bouncing off the walls. Constantly nagging for scan pics to be sent to the (evil) nan etc. Now he's here she's completely on love with Xander (one saving grace lol).

But now BILs gf is pregnant (even though they were told the needed ivf, couldnt have it on nhs and then got pg naturally) and she is awful! Bil took a scan pic round to send to his nan and she said EURGH, what does she want a pic of that for?! I feel so sorry for him, he's so excited about his baby and the best his mum can do is "well I suppose it's there now".

 

[AmethystDream]

8. I will not try to control my family with money.

9. I won't have conveniently timed 'health scares'.

 

[MrsPOP]

6. I will punch my husband if he ever calls our grandchild 'it'.

Did he do that? Really?

He most certainly did! Last weekend. They came round after 3 weeks of no contact because they decided to withdraw their offer of childcare and were here for 2 whole hours. FIL couldn't hide his annoyance that LO was active and playful and didn't sit still and be quiet. MIL was playing with her and LO was squealing happily and FIL grumpily said something like 'oh don't excite it'

I said politely 'it? No, HER' and just looked away.

I seriously want to punch them for what they have done (or should that be haven't done).

 

[ValentinesGal]

6. I will punch my husband if he ever calls our grandchild 'it'.

Did he do that? Really?

He most certainly did! Last weekend. They came round after 3 weeks of no contact because they decided to withdraw their offer of childcare and were here for 2 whole hours. FIL couldn't hide his annoyance that LO was active and playful and didn't sit still and be quiet. MIL was playing with her and LO was squealing happily and FIL grumpily said something like 'oh don't excite it'

I said politely 'it? No, HER' and just looked away.

I seriously want to punch them for what they have done (or should that be haven't done).

How awful! Why on earth would somebody think it was okay to call a little baby 'it'...some people I tell ya

 

[mummytori]

10. I won't put more effort into what other people think of me as a grandparent than actually BEING a grandparent.

MIL goes on to every man an his dog about teddy, shows everyone photos of him, the majority of whom I've never even met, yet actually has hardly any involvement with him at all.
She's a very 'keeping up with the Jones' kinda person.

 

[MizzDeeDee]

6. I will punch my husband if he ever calls our grandchild 'it'.

Did he do that? Really?

He most certainly did! Last weekend. They came round after 3 weeks of no contact because they decided to withdraw their offer of childcare and were here for 2 whole hours. FIL couldn't hide his annoyance that LO was active and playful and didn't sit still and be quiet. MIL was playing with her and LO was squealing happily and FIL grumpily said something like 'oh don't excite it'

I said politely 'it? No, HER' and just looked away.

I seriously want to punch them for what they have done (or should that be haven't done).

How awful! Why on earth would somebody think it was okay to call a little baby 'it'...some people I tell ya

Agree.. that's horrible!

 

[MizzDeeDee]

10. I won't put more effort into what other people think of me as a grandparent than actually BEING a grandparent.

MIL goes on to every man an his dog about teddy, shows everyone photos of him, the majority of whom I've never even met, yet actually has hardly any involvement with him at all.
She's a very 'keeping up with the Jones' kinda person.

I know mothers AND grandmothers that do this. I find it most.. unusual. They typically talk about how much they love their child/grandbaby but then you find out that they never see them.. or in the case of moms don't give them any attention outside of Facebook land.

Very perplexing.

 

[Piggywinkle]

11. I will not offer and then withdraw offers of help on a whim.

 

[AmethystDream]

12. I will not sit and gossip and bitch about everyone.

If she is bitching about them, she must realise that you know she is doing it about you too, right?

 

[Lil_Pixie]

12. I will not sit and gossip and bitch about everyone.

If she is bitching about them, she must realise that you know she is doing it about you too, right?

Do we have the same mil??

Mine does everything yours does

 

[Piggywinkle]

5. If I can't be arsed helping out with my grandchild I will be honest and upfront about it instead of pretending to be interested but backing out on the rare occasions my DIL might need a hand.

8. I will not try to control my family with money.

9. I won't have conveniently timed 'health scares'.

12. I will not sit and gossip and bitch about everyone.

If she is bitching about them, she must realise that you know she is doing it about you too, right?

Have we all got the same MIL? The only explanation is if they all get together every full moon like a witches coven and swap tips

 

[AmethystDream]

Weird isn't it? These women, who must have had a variety of different upbringings, backgrounds and cultures, yet still all manage to act the same!

Is there a class on 'how to alienate DILs' that we haven't been made privy to?