Military Wives/Fiances/Girlfriends Support Group

[Ninjettalex]

Thanks so much, I'll look into those! And nooo, closest base is 5+ hours away. :/ I want a very nice person to talk to, someone who won't tell me what to think about because that won't work. My husband actually ended up talking to the chaplain about being away from me, being pregnant with our first baby, and they told him to not dwell on it and to focus on what he is doing and keep in mind it's for his family, and while that works for him, I'd just get more upset and I wouldn't be able to follow that sort of advice.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Hey ladies mind if I join you?

Name: Charlene
Military Branch: British army
How long he's been in: just about to start phase 1 training
Currently Deployed?: ^^
How long you've been together: 6 year 3 month
How do you like the Military Life?: not experienced it yet but dreading it

So I'm looking for some advice, how do you cope with OH/DH's being away for so long! The thought of OH being away for 7 weeks is killing me (and I know how ridiculous that sounds as there are people who don't see their OH's/DH's for months and months) its hard when you have been stuck to each others hips for so long and then suddenly we don't see each other for weeks! Any tips? X

 

[MandaAnda]

Charlene, my hubby's ex-Army and now RAF. It's not too bad, really. I'm one that doesn't see a point in complaining the whole time. I get on with it because I have to. But it's nice to have other military wives that understand the odd whinge. Our little boy was 15 months old when hubby was away for basic training, and I think it was 3-4 weeks before he was able to come home for a weekend. It was definitely tough, but he knew I supported him and that it wouldn't last forever. You learn your own coping mechanisms. Before we were married and he was deployed to Afghanistan, my coping was going out with my best mate, who was also an Army gf, and having drinks and giggles. While he was in the Falklands for four months recently, he Skyped us every other day.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

we do plan on skyping and once I finish uni I'm hoping to move to be closer to him its just that will be a few year down the road, most of my friends don't have kids so its hard to try and keep a social life as I don't get invited out much! I know in reality it won't be as bad as I'm expecting but I suppose that doesn't stop me from worrying lol x

 

[MandaAnda]

That's why a lot of military couples tend to get married perhaps sooner than they would if on civvy street, as then you get to be together and in low cost housing. And the support of other wives with kids is great. But it's a big step,of course. xx

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Hey ladies how are we all ? I have a question regarding passing out parades, what do you wear? Oh's will be in July so it will probably be roasting! Thanks in advance x

 

[MandaAnda]

I've always worn a dress and heels, although a smart trouser and top set can be nice. Not formal but not boring office attire either. But you'll see women not dressing up at all or tarted out really chavvy (and that's even the mums sometimes!), which I find incredibly disrespectful, personally.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

I was thinking something along the lines of a pencil skirt (I've read either to my knees or below) and a blouse with or without a cardigan and heels? Not sure if that's too formal tho? X

 

[MandaAnda]

I was thinking something along the lines of a pencil skirt (I've read either to my knees or below) and a blouse with or without a cardigan and heels? Not sure if that's too formal tho? X

I think that sounds lovely! I think for my hubby's trade training, I wore trousers and a nice top and heels, as it was January and freeeeeezing! My coat covered up my trousers until the bit in the mess after. For passing out of basic (he was Army when I met him, got out a few years later, then joined the RAF), it was pretty warm, so I wore a 1950s tea dress type thing - white with flowers. I had a cardigan since my shoulders were bare, and our then 15 month old was in a shirt, trousers and braces - very sweet! I felt like many didn't make an effort, which I find so sad. It seems the same at medal parades and Remembrance Day parades - you'd think the wives and families would dress nicely, knowing they're representing those serving. Oh, well. I'll get off my soapbox!

Nice to see another nurse and serviceman, by the way.

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Yeah I want to make an effort for him not taking our little ones tho, would have been nice to have them there all smart for daddy but lewis will still be young and its a long day for both of them, I'm guessing its going to be a really warm day as it will be in july so was thinking the trousers might be too warm, really can't wait to watch him pass out! Will be sooo proud as punch! And thank you! I'm hoping that in years to come if we get married I can do nursing within the army x

 

[MandaAnda]

With our weather, you never know!

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Haha you're right actually! Best pack something wintery aswell just in case lol x

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Too Much fot passing out?

 

[MandaAnda]

Can't see a pic... ???

 

[youngmamttc]

Hi Ladies i know this is an old thread but was wondering if it would be okay to join.

My ex was a soldier(DD's sperm donor) and i was with him 5 years but when i got with DF i NEVER imagined id be in this situation again. Anyways my DF is going through his application process at the minute but i have no doubt he'll pass so im bracing myself for being alone again for a while atleast.

Name: Leanne
Military Branch: British army
How long he's been in: Application Process
Currently Deployed?: ^^
How long you've been together: 2 years
How do you like the Military Life?: It was okay when i was used to it but now ive forgot what to expect!


Would love to talk to some other ladies! xx

 

[MandaAnda]

Welcome. What regiment is he hoping to join? My hubby went army > civvy > RAF, so I kinda get the feeling. The big difference for me was, although we lived together when he was army, we weren't married and didn't have children. By the time he was in the RAF, we'd married and had a 15 month old. So, being a military wife, with a child as well, is definitely a different feeling, neither bad though.

 

[youngmamttc]

He's hoping to join Royal artillery as a chef though. Hes already got an NVQ in catering so hes got that behind him. Once hes passed basic we're hoping to have a quick wedding. We have a venue booked for next year at a big posh place but i think we'll be scrapping that for a registry office wedding so that i dont have to be left behind alone for too long.

How do you find going through it with children? Is it much harder? My DD calls DF daddy and has no recollection of her real daddy so it'll be hard for her i imagine xx

 

[MandaAnda]

When hubby went to basic for the RAF, that was tough, as our son was only 15 months old. We were afraid he'd forget him. He didn't, of course, and it was heaven having him home for a bit. Then, for his trade training, it was near to where we lived already, in a civvy private rent, so we saw him at weekends for five months, which we easily got used to. My in laws were nearby then, too. We moved into service families accommodation once he had his posting though, which is luckily the area we lived in when we first met, so we both knew well.

He works on a rolling rota, so it means I can't work on the wards anymore, as childcare would be impossible with us both on shift work. So, I worked in the community. I lowered my hours when he was deployed last year, upped them when he got back, and am on maternity leave now. The random stuff can be tough, like he's on notice to cover strikes that may happen and has had to go on training to prep for that. And his trade deploys a lot, so he's due to be gone again when I have a three month old and nearly four year old, but I know I can handle it because I have to. You find support where you can though and muddle through. And absolutely love the times you're together.

 

[youngmamttc]

Thank you. I'm only really worried about basic and him not being here much. With my ex I went through him being in afghan and everything but it was all I knew. Now I'm used to being with DF everyday so not sure how I'll handle the seperation. Your all super strong ladies! Xx

 

[Stevensmummyx]

Manda how do you find getting jobs? Im currently on mat leave which finishes in March and go back to uni but not sure what to do. Im defo wanting a career for myself so being a SAHM/WAHM isnt an option. But oh wont be here when I go back on wards for 12.5 hr shifts and il have a 10 month old and a 6 year old myself lol :/ my parents have said they will help out etc. Im wanting to move closer to where OH will be based (we have no plans to marry yet, he said it will happeb but not asked yet! Men!!) anyway trying to weigh up pros/cons, how will it be trying to find myself jobs in the community etc... Considering at looking at a diff career but not wanting too arrr!!

Also meant to update, pass out was scorching!! Wore a mint green over the knee length dress woth a blazer (which only came in handy near leaving as I was super engorged and leaked!!! Couldn't undo my zip to pump, luckily no one noticed!) also was surprised to see so many women not abiding by dress code (shoulders covered, over knee dress) some women looked like they haf been on a night out the previous night and left their outfits on! Apparently some poor sod got pulled up for his Oh :/ x