MILs...

[tommyg]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.
my mil has been driving me looney. i feel like she's just playing house around here or something. obviously her mommy wifey time has passed, house setting up, baby health to look over etc. and she's just coming around here and giving advice, bringing me pictures to hang up, telling me what's wrong with my baby when she's whiney (and she's normally wrong but insists), she asks me to do a million little things for her as if i'm not swamped enough here, has even done my dishes (nice but no thanks), my husband was buying a washer/dryer for us and she was so insistant that we should get brand new that she dragged him to a store and got it on her card, no we are making payments to her!! the list goes on forever. yes yes she's trying to be nice, i know that. but i didn't ask for a wife/mother assistant. i'm quite happy, fine and better off really when i do things ALL my way. haha.
rant over. gr. gr. gr.
but yea i think they are just bored, that's all i can figure. she spends way too much time thinking about mine, hubby's and lo's life.

That is one of the most sensible things I've read, got me thinking and sums my MiL up.
Mum cares about me as well as LO she also knows what will offend and I can tell her no. MiL doesn't care about me or know what will offend me. I was seriously ill during pregnancy and spent 7 days in hospital including a high dependancy ward, OK Mil was on holiday and never knew about it until she was home and I was on the mend but she never asked how I was she only asked about the baby "would the baby be ok". Even after the birth she never asked about me was only intrested in LO which hurt me no end.

TBH if my mum comes into the house and starts "tidying up" I'd see it as she's helping me out, MIL would never dream of helping or offering to help.

Why have I become very cynical with just about everything she does? My birthday present was a beauty voucher given my birthday was just before the birth the cynic in me thinks it was given so that I'd need a babysitter while I had beauty treatments.

Oh and in answer to the first poster no chance would anybody be taking my LO for 5 days - once he can use a phone maybe - but not before! Can't believe what she was thinking.

 

[jakey1]

I wouldn't leave my two with my MIL for 5 minutes - she's a nut case!!

 

[DrakensMom]

My MIL used to cram the bottle in and out of his mouth and wonder why he wasn't drinking.
I Really wanted to shove a bottle down her throat and ask her why she wasn't drinking.

 

[Natasha2605]

My MIL had an argument with me when Summer was a week old cause she couldn't understand why I wouldn't allow her to take Summer away for a week to some caravan park about 3 hours away when she would have been eight weeks.

Silly moo xx

 

[babyjiva]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.

Oh god, you talk about them like they are another race!

Let's hope you don't have a son and end up a paternal grandmother, you may then turn into the species you just described.

Generally speaking maternal grandmothers are closer to the mother and as they have known them their whole life they tend to already know the boundaries of that person so they don't push them as much. MILs have a different way of doing things as they didn't bring you up, and they don't know you as well as your own mother, and generally you'd trust your mother with your baby much more than anyone else. That is the difference between a paternal and a maternal grandmother - they're still just women, they aren't different, it is your relationship to them that is different.

If you have a son and a daughter then you will be both to different people. Your daughter may think you're the most fantastic grandmother in the world but you may still have a daughter in law who thinks you're an overbearing old woman.

that's the same point i made...different relationship
as far as my rude tone, tons of women have this problem... it is like paternal mils are their own breed. there are even websites about it. my mil came over 20 minutes after i posted this UNINVITED going on about how my baby needs gripe water and she had gotten her some... which my baby doesn't but she has been pushing this for three days. wtf?

 

[justarascal]

My MIL makes comments all the time about the fact I won't let her "have" LO. He's my first and I don't want him away from me.
She even booked me a massage so she could take him for a few hours.
When I was BF she kept asking when I was changing to formula as she wanted a shot. She actually made me feel guilty for BF.

 

[justarascal]

She also keeps telling me LO needs weaned (he's 13wks!) and told me I was stupid for even contemplating BLW as "he's such a big boy".

 

[StaceyPreedy]

lmao, my mil always refers to Robyn and Eryn as "my". Im sure there not "your" anything other than ur sons hmmm.... yeah. Im sure that no ones parents are there when two adults decide to make a life (at least i sure hope not.. blergh hiding in the wardrobe) They are never grateful for the time you do give (which is usually alot). I get annoyed when my gil's take them and never tell me when they are coming back and take them both all over the place egh. Oh speaking of which one time they took my first to see their dog and apparently she pulled herself p to standing on their dogs "danglers" as they put it... i don't want my daughter grabbing on to a dogs do dahs.

 

[XfairyhopesX]

I totally agree our mums dont over kiss and fuss them / wake them up - my mil lit just hold him on her knee never lets him play it drives me MAD tbh, my mums sooo much more laid back and nothing bothers me but ev she does bothers me, its like they have there own agenda xxx

 

[xemmax]

i can never figure out why our mom's don't act like this but our mother in laws do... and then it dawned on me. our mothers care about us enough to honor our feelings on things (or at least to try not to piss us off). because really our moms must be as attached as our mils so why are they less annoying. it's not because we don't mind as much, i really believe our mils are more annoying because they just don't give a damn if they offend us or otherwise annoy us. and they know they can get away with it because who wants to tell their husband's mother off? yea, nobody.

Oh god, you talk about them like they are another race!

Let's hope you don't have a son and end up a paternal grandmother, you may then turn into the species you just described.

Generally speaking maternal grandmothers are closer to the mother and as they have known them their whole life they tend to already know the boundaries of that person so they don't push them as much. MILs have a different way of doing things as they didn't bring you up, and they don't know you as well as your own mother, and generally you'd trust your mother with your baby much more than anyone else. That is the difference between a paternal and a maternal grandmother - they're still just women, they aren't different, it is your relationship to them that is different.

If you have a son and a daughter then you will be both to different people. Your daughter may think you're the most fantastic grandmother in the world but you may still have a daughter in law who thinks you're an overbearing old woman.

that's the same point i made...different relationship
as far as my rude tone, tons of women have this problem... it is like paternal mils are their own breed. there are even websites about it. my mil came over 20 minutes after i posted this UNINVITED going on about how my baby needs gripe water and she had gotten her some... which my baby doesn't but she has been pushing this for three days. wtf?

Hmm, I'm not sure it is the same point as my point is that they aren't another breed and that you can be a mother and a mother in law at the same time, yet you say they are their own breed...

Perhaps your MIL is just rude and patronising. It doesn't mean all are or that all women have issues with their MILs, which would be the case if they were indeed a different species.

 

[DrakensMom]

We went to my bf's brothers hockey game when LO was 6 months.
When they scored the buzzer was SO loud he started freaking out! My bf's grandma was holding him at the time and went to pass him to me knowingly that mom is more comforting than anybody else. And MIL just reaches in and goes "No i've got it". Sh's freaking out and reaching for me and the bitch wouldn't give him up.