Miscarried 1st baby over Christmas 2012.Share positive stories of conceiving again.

[elleff]

Hi Ellefff

Thinking if you today. I would have been 10 last Sat and had a horrible day. I hope you're not the same. Maybe your co-ordinator wants to speak to you privately and not wanting to mention it in front or other people maybe they have a few things to do so when they speak to you they don't have to rush off. And maybe they've been thru the same thing and aren't able to talk about it today..God knows honey why they haven't said anything yet. Hope your meeting goes well this afternoon x
Im fed up with faint lines on opk's. it's like a negative result that I don't want. Plus Ive had sore boobs for the 4th day now so maybe? just maybe I already went an ovulated?? Anyhow! Have a nice day all and chat later x

Thanks Charlie I am really struggling. I can't really speak as I'm just on the verge of tears all the time. Have cried in the toilet a few times already. I feel kind of like its just happened, I feel like I've gone back to those very early days. I'm sure tomorrow will be different. My boss is so lovely but I know I'll just cry my way through the conversation as I'm not feeling strong today at all. So different to yesterday.
You are the optimist!! no she won't say anything I've been on my own with her most of the day and she hasn't said a word. She is one of those people who will gladly tell you what they did at the weekend or what they had for their tea but never ever ask you a question about yourself, so this is no surprise. She is making my skin crawl today.

I know what you mean about the faint lines. Maybe its just too early for us to ovulate? Maybe we are just too eager. I just want to be pregnant, the thought that I could have been 10 weeks and am not even pregnant now and might not even be ready to ovulate yet is just soul destroying.
The sore boobs is a definite good sign though hun, I would just keep having 'early nights' every couple of days until you know where you are for definite xx

 

[Loup89]

Charlie

I'm getting a little fed up with opks too, after yesterdays I had all negatives with no line at all and same today, think I'll give up this cycle and try again once af arrives and I can take clomid again. If the signs are there then maybe you have already ovulated. Have you had anymore pain today? Hope you're having a nice day off today.

Elleff

Hope you're doing ok, just remember we're all here for you. As for your co-ordinator, some people really are just very insensitive and if shes always like this then its probably just her way but maybe she just doesn't know what to say? or shes worried you might not want to talk and doesn't want to upset you? I'm not sure hun but there are plenty of people who do care that you're ok I'm sure.
I wish I could say something to make you feel better about today but there are no words, sometimes its better to get it all out and have a cry though. I would have been 12 weeks on 27th so I'm going to try and plan something to keep me busy all day, I don't know what but probably just me and my OH so if I want to break down and cry I can, I'll be letting you girls know how it goes. Our time will come and we'll all appreciate every second of it


ttcmoon
Well done for going to the gym every day! I'd love to say I have but been a bit lazy lately! Hows the flat coming along?
Wedding plans are going ok thanks, going to buy bridesmaids dresses next week


I've had a pretty rubbish day, I went over to the next building to make a cuppa as I always have done because they have a fridge for the milk and was told by a new manager that I was stealing as it was not from my office! Its all paid for by the same company and its never been a problem in 4 years, normally I'd tell her what was what but I just broke down in tears, I felt like such an idiot but earlier in the day she had a meeting with my line manager and mentioned that it was 'unproffesional' that my desk was unattended whilst I was ill the other week and they called the paramedic! I'm so mad, in a way I think its good I cried and not said what I really wanted to

 

[Charlie4]

No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously ��

I had a nice day thank God.
Chin up girls xxx

 

[Loup89]

No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously ��

I had a nice day thank God.
Chin up girls xxx

Good to hear you're not in pain anymore and you had a nice day too makes all the difference is it just the one day off you had or are you off tomorrow as well? x

My OH got home from work tonight and told me he's being made redundant in Feb so been looking for jobs this evening, trying to stay positive and thinking maybe our luck will all just come at once this year.

 

[elleff]

Oh Lou that is awful. I'm so sorry. What does he do?
My husband lost his job in nov 2011 and we had just booked our wedding and signed for a new house. He was out of work for 6 weeks but now has a much better job and wonders why he stayed with that tin pot company for so long!! It will work out xx

 

[Charlie4]

No pains at all. Maybe my body was just getting used to being in my feet again. What a !!!! actually I won't call her anything. A bit if milk like! Seriously ��

I had a nice day thank God.
Chin up girls xxx

Good to hear you're not in pain anymore and you had a nice day too makes all the difference is it just the one day off you had or are you off tomorrow as well? x

My OH got home from work tonight and told me he's being made redundant in Feb so been looking for jobs this evening, trying to stay positive and thinking maybe our luck will all just come at once this year.

Aww Lou Im sorry honey x Fingers crossed he gets something soon x
I was off last Sunday and today. Im not off until next Tues now but I am off the following Sat & Sun

X

 

[ttcmoon]

Oh Lou, seems the time is really going bad for you darling.
Just hope he gets a good job soon!What does he do?

Dear Charlie - I am too glad to know that you are not having pains anymore.Will you be working continuously till tuesday?That sounds hectic!

Elleff - I can understand dear, I am supposed to be starting 2nd trimster now!And I planned to announce officially on FB in the mid of Jan.But alas!I am just looking around for tiniest reasons to be happy.Last week was awful for me, I felt like crying in every conversation. But meditation and gym helped a lot.I stopped cooking at home and we are taking food from a shop nearby.We are really too eager to get PG soon, and hopefully we might even have ovulated!If not period should not be far away and new cycle will bring new hope isn't it?

My clients identified me as the key achiever, and gave me a certificate along with some money. .I am eagerly looking forward for the weekend.
We got our apartment registered in our name!Can't wait till July to move there.It is still under construction.
Are you guys there on FB?If yes I would love to add....
take care

 

[Loup89]

Thanks girls xxx

My oh is a chef so with places closing down all the time its something that we've had happen before and probably will again sadly. He's very good at his job so he's lucky with that and I know it wont take long to find another just not great timing.

Feeling much more positive today. I'm completely obsessed with making lists for EVERYTHING so today I'm making a list of things I have to be positive about, I'll just keep it somewhere that I can go and read it when I'm feeling down, its really helping though. I'll share with you all at some point when I've finished it.

Well done ttcmoon, thats amazing. I do have FB but I've not been using it at the moment, too many pregnancy announcements and people moaning about having to get out of bed because its too cold, I know if I go on there I will say something bitchy lol. Give it a few weeks and I'll be back on for sure and I'll let you know x


How's everyones day going?

 

[ttcmoon]

I do not have much work today.I do not talk to many people these days, just sitting alone and reading online news paper.One of the guys in my team is getting married so he is so excited.Today I gave blood for TSH and Fasting Blood sugar, hope both comes clear.
I had 3D scan scheduled yesterday, but their machine is not working..now got an appointment on 22nd at 5:30pm.I hope that comes clear as well.Planning to go to gym after office.

 

[Loup89]

best of luck with your test results, shame about having to wait for the scan but not too long to go, what is the 3D scan looking for?

I've been doing the same today reading online newspapers, except it all seems to be pregnancy related or maybe I'm just picking up on it easier lately.

I feel a little bit stupid but I've made another drs appointment today, I need to get results of scan anyway which I suppose I could ring up for but I'm still trying to push them to give me metformin and get another referral for laparoscopy. I think they didn't want to give it to me last time as I had this infection and didn't see it as a priority. I feel like I'm wasting my drs time, I seem to be going every week at the moment but I will do anything to prevent this happening again. Why can't they just give me what I want and I'll stop coming back lol.

 

[elleff]

Lou - I cannot believe that woman at your work?! I hope after seeing you upset she couldn't sleep last night. What a cow bag. I really hope you're oh gets something else soon, is he looking before he leaves the place he's at now? Its such a shame businesses are constantly closing down all the time. I heard blockbusters are gone now aswell as HMV!
I'd love to read your list. I had a word document open on my comp at work all day yesterday and I just kept writing things down there when they popped in my head. I want to write the whole story out start to finish but need to actually sit down and do it when I'm fully prepared to sob my heart out. But I do need to do it. I'm scared I'll forget little details. My husband wrote a poem that he buried with our lo and my letter maybe I'll post it for you guys when I can handle reading it again!!

ttcmoon - well done on the key achiever! and the flat, thats a great distraction having something like that to be excited about. You are right, even though a period would be disappointing, it would make it easier to track ovulation that it is now!

Hope everything is going ok at work Charlie, are you finding it any easier?

AFM - Yesterday was a nightmare, I sobbed all day. Everytime I was in the toilet and got myself together I'd come back to my desk just for it to bubble up again and end up back in the toilet crying my heart out. It was one of the hardest days I've had. I had my meeting with my manager, I sobbed like a baby with my head in my hands for a good 10 minutes and she was amazing. Then I'd got that out of my system and was able to tell her everything that happened. We were talking for over an hour. She had an ectopic 6 years ago so knew some of what I felt.

Today I'm not crying which is a start!! But I am finding that I'm freaking out a bit about having another baby? I don't know if I could go through this again? Or even worse when I was further on? Or what if I had my baby and it was taken away from me then? I guess these thoughts are all just normal and tomorrow will be different again, just like today is to yesterday.

What a strange journey this is... xx

 

[Loup89]

Tell me about it! She should know better than to mess with me lol. Taken too much crap in the past from co workers to let it happen again. As for my oh, hes been looking for jobs today but unless he wants to work in the city he will have to take quite a pay drop but we've still got time yet so fingers crossed. Its crazy how many places are closing down, I feel really lucky I work for such a big company, my job is pretty secure which is always reassuring.

Sorry to hear you had a bad day yesterday. Its amazing how many people you realise have been through the same thing now but never would have known before and the fact your manager shared that with you is really nice of her. So many people try to understand but through no fault of their own just can't and then expect you to get over it so quickly. I've had worries that it will happen again but now when I think about it we will always be scared when we get pregnant again but we'll each have our families for support and support each other to not let it take over. I suppose its just another horrible risk we have to take and chances are we will all be fine next time around. Just got to try and think positive, I know its hard.
I definitely think writing things down has helped, I too would like to write everything I've been through down on paper but I don't think I'm quite ready for that yet, thats so lovely that your Husband wrote a poem.

I'm home now and enjoying a relaxing night with the dogs Feeling really good today. My doctor said he sees no reason why I need laparoscopy at the moment and give it 6 months or so of trying before considering it, he also prescribed me metformin! I'm so happy about that alone it should sort things out for me and increase chances of getting pregnant again plus I've still got 2 rounds of clomid sitting in the cupboard my scan was all clear except for a simple cyst on my left ovary which he said could be from ovulation? I don't think it is because I had a simple cyst on same ovary back in october on day 8 of my cycle but who knows! Infection has all gone and I'm healthy again.

ttcmoon - did you get any side effects from metformin?

Charlie - hope work went ok lovely

x

 

[Loup89]

Forgot to mention my proud moment lol. As I left the doctors a girl I used to work with left at the same time I quickly said hi and couldn't help but notice she was holding all the same leaflets I was back in December, she turned them my way and told me she was pregnant! What fantastic timing lol. I managed to congratulate her, of course im jealous as hell but I actually wish her all the best and haven't cried I think it would be different if it was someone I saw a lot but either way I feel like its a turning point

 

[Charlie4]

Aww Elleff Im standing crying my heart out at your OH writing a poem. How amazingly sweet is that!! I think you are freaking out because you don't want to hurt like this again. But don't give up. Im the same...up one day, all over the place the next.

Lou That's great news!!! Just what you wanted isn't it!! I wanna read your list too!!
Lou Im really proud of you. I feel for you too tho. Our days next honey x

Ttcmoon Im on Facebook and Id be happy to add you. Private message me info so U can add you.
Forgive me girls if Im all round the place here, Im doing this from my phone and there's been a few messages from when I checked in last.

I had a teary day today but I know tomorrow will be different. A friend from school died in her sleep on Sun night-Mon morning. She had her 40th birthday party on Sat night.me and some girls from school we t to the wake tonight. It was so sereal! Can't believe it. Makes you feel like you want EVERYTHING life can give you.

Charlie x

 

[elleff]

Where do you live Lou? Hope he finds something but yes, travelling is a pain in the backside. You're right, we will have each other next time I just hope we al get our bfps around the same time but if not I can honestly say with all my heart id be happy for anyone of you girls to get yours before me as you would give me hope that it can happen.
I'm really glad you got metformin. A friend of mine is on it at the mo and it has shortened her cycles and she's ovulated twice since being on it for 3 months so that's positive. When are you going to take the clomid? Well done for not rugby tackling the pregnant girl!!! It's just so hard not to want to scream at pregnant people but I read on here somewhere yesterday that we have no idea of the battle someone else might have had to get their baby so we can't make judgments or assumptions.

Charlie my husband is a legend honestly. He's so clever at writing things, he wrote it on new years eve in the car during the day after he dropped his son off at his friends. He was gone for ages and later he told me he'd been sat round the corner in the car writing it. He only said when I said I wanted to write a letter to bury with the baby. It was beautiful but ruined me when I read it so haven't been able to read it since but I asked him to take a photo of it so I could read it later. I'll ask him if I can share it.

That is awful about your friend!! Do they know what she died of?! Im so sorry. Life is so precious no matter how old it is.

I'm also happy to be friends with you ladies on fb. Just message me and I'll tell you who to search for and what picture etc. not many 'elleff's' on fb I don't think

 

[ttcmoon]

Hey Lou, Metforming doesn't give me side effects, I had lose motion for few days after starting it, nothing apart from this.Its supposed to be an wonder drug for PCOSers.I hope that cyst means you ovulated!

Charlie - I am so sorry to hear about your friend.Life is so unpredictable!Hope you are doing better today.

Elleff - Really so sweet of your hubby.I am so sorry to hear that you had a bad day, but it is nice to know about your manager.I guess it is an advantage to get a women boss.For me everyone in my team are males

I wish all of you ladies all the best.And I would request all of you to stay on this thread till all of us graduate being a mom!I am so eager to get BFP news for you girls!

Another thing girls, I need your comments on my english.I am planning to appear for IELTS.You might have heared about the test, it is to access english (speaking/writing/reading and listening) abilities of non-english speakers.I need your help to improve my english!The test is supposed to be on 6th March...Hubby wants me to stay distracted, so he wants me to appear for this test, the score may help us to get a PR in australia or Canada, skill wise we both qualify.So we need good IELTS score now to apply!

I will PM all of you about my FB details and look for Elleff!

 

[Charlie4]

Hi girls!!!

Im definatly feeling better today. My friend of Sudden Adult Death Syndrome in her sleep bless her. The service was beautiful! She would have been so proud.
I too would be happy for any if you girls to get a positive test too!
Soooo how do I private message you about fb?? Im useless!! Lol

Xx

 

[Loup89]

Hi girls!

Hope you're all doing ok today. Most places have closed round here so we've taken a walk in the snow down to the local pub for a quiet few drinks and some food. We've got about 7-8 inches of snow and everywhere is empty, crazy! What's it like by you?

I live in Somerset not far from Bristol, absolutely love it round here but it's a nightmare trying to get out of town and into the city. I work for a hotel, mostly reception but I have also do a lot of sales for them and so have to go to meetings all over, god knows how I'm going to get anywhere at the moment I nearly slipped over 10 times just getting out the door, totally useless on my feet!

Aw that's so sweet of your husband he sounds so lovely, would love to read the poem but don't feel any pressure hun x

I too can say I will be so happy for any of you to get your bfps, we will all get there in the end. I'm very happy to be on metformin and I'll be taking clomid days 2-6 of next cycle. It's frustrating because I don't always get take. Seriously being 23 people think I have all the time in the world but to us it's still just as heartbreaking.

Charlie I'm so sorry to hear about your friend, must have been a huge shock. It really does make you realise how things can just be taken so quickly we have to make the most of every day.

Ttcmoon - I'd be more than happy to help in any way I can your English is amazing though so I'll sure you will be fine.

Sorry if this is a bit all over the place I'm on my phone again xx

 

[Charlie4]

Elleff can you PM me on fb. I can't find you x

 

[ttcmoon]

I guess Lau is Laurence and Charlie is June on FB..is it right?