mood swings at 16 weeks

[justkitty]

Since my dd turned 12 weeks I've been having awful mood swings. I go through a period of a couple of days where I feel down, anxious and a rubbish mummy. I hardly leave the house and my poor toddler is climbing the walls with boredom and only wants to watch tv as I have zero energy to play with him. Then I go back to normal, happy, productive playful mummy. Then out of nowhere (only twice) I explod with anger. First time was a couple of weeks ago when my 2yr old was playing with xbox cables whenever he knows he shouldn't - he was bored. As I took the cables away I scraped my hand and in that moment of pain I screamed at my son and he cried and looked so scared and I felt complete dispear and shame. Ive never done that before. Then today I woke up exhausted. Bad night with my toddler and my 4 month old decided to be up for over an hour in the night. My dh claimed to be more tired and so I let him shower in peace while I sorted breakfast. All was going well until my son spilt some of my cereal and I was getting so angry. Mainly at my husband for taking ages and not helping me as I had baby in one hand, cereal everywhere and toddler tantrums. Dh came downstairs and I tried to explain to him something but my mind went blank and I couldn't remember the word I wanted and was so angry he didn't know what I was saying (I was talking about a door in our house so he should know). He got snappy and I flipped. I banged my fist on the table, burst into tears as I shouted at dh and my poor toddler was hysterical. He clung to me in fear and struggled to breathe. I feel awful .we all calmed down and I'm so exhausted I don't know why my husband doesn't offer to help more.

Anyway, later that day my boy was getting in my husbands way trying to be helpful by taking washing down (only it was wet). Normally I let him as he is trying to help and ita cute. My husband was being really grumpy with him and I thought to myself he is only 2 why be so grumpy? Then I was hit by a wall of despair as I thought about it the morning.

Anyway.... I don't want any more mood swings. I never want to shout at my boy again. I've only done it twice and never before but I am happy fun mummy 75% of the time and this new downess or moodiness has only just started. I read online it might be the hormones from breastfeeding. I love feeding my daughter. How will I know if it's that? I don't want to stop bfing until I am ready but if its all hormonal I don't want to risk damaging my fabulous relationship with my gorgeous children.

I'd never hurt them and to me screaming and shouting is unacceptable. How can I nip it in the bud. Any experience?

 

[cat_reversing]

sounds like hormones to me, they can take a while to settle down and your mood can greatly affected by sleep deprivation.
some women do experience problems with breastfeeding, I haven't - personally it's lifted my mood and I don't want it to stop, but for others it can bring them down.
We all falter at times and have bad days or bad weeks when nothing goes right and everything is just grrrrrrrrrrrrrr! but they are just phases and will pass and I'm sure your family will forgive you for being unreasonable sometimes.
Re oh, why not pick a quiet calm moment and try to have a conversation with him about how you feel and that you'd like more help. (try to stay away from blame, that just pushes men away). if you feel too keyed up, write him a letter, whatever you do make sure you communicate.
you could try to work on being calm, maybe when los are in bed you can take some time for yourself, sit quietly and try not to focus on anything for 10 minutes.
If the mood swings get worse or continue for longer than a month please see your dr to rule out pnd.
and lastly, come and rant on here and get in touch with friends, get out of the house even if it's raining!! and let those closest to you know how you feel.