More MIL woes - **No joke, even more!!!!** UPDATE

[aly888]

Those of you who follow my journal may know I went to visit our reception venue today and took the future MIL with me. I swear to all the gods, she is lucky to still be alive!!!! Here's just a snippet of the things she came out with...

- (to the venue) Can we bring our own food to the reception!??!!
- (to me) Why would you want confetti?
- (to the venue) How long can we have the top table? At which point I 'reminde her she's not at the top table, to which she replied "well that's just a bit of an insult really" (she already knew parents aren't sitting at the top table!!)
- (to the venue) How much per head for evening food? Venue replies "depends what you have". She replies "well yes, but how much?". Venue "well what do you want?". Her "I don't know, how much is it!!!" We weren't going to have evening food anyway as its not in our budget
- (to me) If we dont invite my brothers (OHs uncles) because I don't want them there can I give you a list of friends I'd like to invite instead?!???!

Honestly, you would think this was her wedding or that she was paying for it or something!!! Wanting to invite her friends so she has someone to talk to! Not wanting to invite her brothers because she doesn't like them! Wanting to 'proof' my guest list so she can choose who she sits with (since she's not "allowed" at the top table!)

She drives me up the wall. She is relentless! She questions everything that we decide and turns her nose up at anything that's not "traditional"!! I asked for her brothers addresses about 8 months ago...and today she admitted she hasn't told me coz she doesn't want me to invite them! Surely that's not her decision?! Gah

[/rant]

 

[Lauren25]

Ohh my word your MIL sounds like a delight, I'm sure she gets worse and worse!
I am so thankful I don't have to deal with someone like that! I moan about people sticking their noses in but she sounds like she wants to take over!!

 

[Mummy May]

Okay I think I can officially stop complaining about people butting in. Though my MIL would probs ask questions if I took her to the venue too, but nothing as silly as those I would hope. I'm quite angry for you!! Tell her to piss off, she isn't inviting her friends as it isn't her wedding, its yours... and if she doesn't like the way you're doing it, she doesn't have to come hahaha xx

 

[aly888]

She's acting like she's hosting the whole bloomin' thing. Traditionally of course the parents (of the bride, might I add) would host the wedding. So invites would be from them, they'd pay for it all, they would invite a guest or two of their own. But she isn't hosting it, she isn't paying for it, and she certainly isn't inviting her own friends!!! If there are "spare seats", as she's calling them, then we would rather invite people who we've had to demote to evening only rather than invite people we don't even know. How insulting would that be to our friends and family who aren't getting a day invite??! She kept going on about there being no-one from their side there (OHs uncle and cousins from his Dads side live in Tasmania and she doesn't even want her brothers there!!) so wants to make up the numbers.

I know I'm always going on about her imagine how my OH feels having to listen I me 24/7. Haha

 

[Mummy May]

I think I would have flattened her by now, so you're doing pretty well! ''spare seats'' I mean what the hell! Why would you fill them with her friends... though they aren't spare seats are they, they are seats that need paying for... again - not for her friends. She sounds like a dick head xx

 

[DonnaBallona]

omg Aly you are a better woman than I- I would have opened a can of whoop ass by now!

I am having similar issues with my mother in law banging on about 'how she doesn't want to interfere, oh no-I definately don't want to interfere! BUT;

*can I invite my best friend and her husband
*can I colour coordinate with the bridesmaids
*can I come dress shopping
*can I come food tasting (at our expense may I add!)
not to mention she keeps banging on about how she 'definitely wants her brothers there' (as if I wouldn't invite them ) and 'you could get blessed in
a church if I talk to the priest....?'

we aren't getting married in a church as I'd feel a bit hypocritical....I'm not religious, my fiancée hasn't been for 10yrs+, and we've got 3 kids out of wedlock so no; we won't be getting blessed.

etc etc etc.

nope, not interfering at all...

 

[DonnaBallona]

I should mention that I do really like my MIL normally-and when she first mentioned these things I didn't think twice about them!

but when they keep being sneaked into conversation (when we aren't even talking about the blasted wedding!) is when I start to get a bit irritated!!!!

 

[aly888]

Ha, yes, we've had the "colour coordination" question too. But she's bought her dress now so that's sorted. Haha!
I know, why do they try and sneak it in? As if we won't notice and we'll 'accidentally' agree to whatever absurd request they are bleating on about I normally like my MIL. It's just whenever she gets an opinion on something she never lets it drop until everyone (gives in and) agrees with her!!

I'm not sure I've mentioned this before (actually I know I have. Lots ) but the is the same woman who tried to marry us off when I was 7 months pregnant so that she wouldn't have to tell people her son had a child before marriage! She went as far as calling the registry office, setting a date for us, booking her local village hall and choosing the white trouser suit that I could wear!! ALL AFTER we told her we weren't having the wedding before the baby And yes, she started everything with "I don't want to tread on anyone's toes/you to think I'm taking over/to interfere"

 

[aly888]

I think I would have flattened her by now, so you're doing pretty well! ''spare seats'' I mean what the hell! Why would you fill them with her friends... though they aren't spare seats are they, they are seats that need paying for... again - not for her friends. She sounds like a dick head xx

I know right!! IF there are spare seats then WE will fill them with OUR friends She seems to think we've allocated the seating (ie, 25 for me and 25 for him!) and if we don't invite her brothers then she has spare seats for her friends. She's on another planet, I swear!!

 

[Mummy May]

Lol this is exactly why were not discussing any details of the wedding with anyone (literally lol) until weve decided what were having then no-one can say anything. Expecting MIL to want to colour match but I'm having a few colours so she can piss off unless she comes as a rainbow hahaha xxx

 

[Zebra2023]

I know the feeling, my MIL tried to plan my wedding for me, I like this, I like that, I don't like what you thought of. I don't like your flowers etc etc. Grrr! She isn't butting in anymore after I showed her this is my wedding and I do as I wish

 

[aly888]

I moaned to my dad and stepmum this evening they are inviting MIL and FIL over for dinner soon so my stepmum is going to subtly back me up. MIL is almost certainly going to bring up the top table thing again

 

[Zebra2023]

I moaned to my dad and stepmum this evening they are inviting MIL and FIL over for dinner soon so my stepmum is going to subtly back me up. MIL is almost certainly going to bring up the top table thing again

I sympathise with you, nice to have someone backing you up, her face will be a picture

 

[Lauren25]

hahaha I love that your StepMum is going to back you up, I bet your MIL will expect to go and for your StepMum to Agree with her!

 

[Mummy May]

I would love to be a fly on the wall at that dinner party lol! Why on earth does MIL think its her show to run?!?! lol! I had a funny thing with mine yesterday... but I will add it to my journal xx

 

[aly888]

Went to MILs today for the first time since last week...hadn't been there for more than 10 minutes before the 'top table' conversation (aka, dictation) came up again...

This time it was "I've been looking forward to it all my life" and "he's my only child" and (the best one, in my opinion) "I've spent so much money on my outfit!!"

Then we 'discussed' the guest list again and she was flabbergasted that we were inviting OHs cousins (all of them, not just the ones she likes!). So to back up her argument she then went on to quiz my OH on the names of his cousins in the hope he wouldn't know them!!

I can't be bothered with the arguments now. She will ruin my day if she doesn't get her own way so it's just not worth it I want to start looking at the seating plan tonight anyway. Stress!

 

[Zebra2023]

She sounds like a right nightmare! They never give up do they? Constant complains until they get their own way. I wouldn't put up with it, ask your partner to have a word, it is your wedding you do as you wish

My MIL is trying to cause trouble between myself and my partner (long story) basically she thinks she won't be getting an invite because of everything that has gone on. I don't want her there personally nor does my OH at the moment.

Link to what she has done here - https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/girly-sanctuary/1398407-problems-oh-mother.html

 

[DonnaBallona]

Aly that woman needs taking down a peg or 7!!!!

I literally cannot BELIEVE her cheek!!

 

[wishuwerehere]

Wow, i'd have socked her one by now! If i were you i'd just say you're not willing to talk to her about the wedding anymore as she's clearly not listening to you!

 

[lozzy21]

She will only ruin you day if you let her. Tell her nicely but firmly that the guest list, top table and everything else are not up for discussion, when you want her opinion you will ask for it.