Multiple IVF failures...what now?

[Lucie73821]

Got my fingers crossed for tomorrow one!!!

 

[oneof14]

Thanks Lucie!

 

[whattheiveff]

We've all been there! At least you'll know for sure tomorrow. Does it make you feel any less anxious to have 2 frosties? I've never had any frozen and I would imagine it takes a teeny, tiny bit of pressure off, but I could be way off base.

 

[Lucie73821]

We've all been there! At least you'll know for sure tomorrow. Does it make you feel any less anxious to have 2 frosties? I've never had any frozen and I would imagine it takes a teeny, tiny bit of pressure off, but I could be way off base.

I know after the hell of this past cycle, having our frosties provided a bit of reassurance. Sure it still really hurt, but it did help I knowing we wouldn't have to go through a full cycle on our next try. I hope that made sense....

 

[oneof14]

Yes, it feels a little better to have the assurances of frosties, but it doesnt erase the fact that Im not getting pregnant. My sister said she would carry my baby(ies) if I needed her to. If this doesnt work, should I transfer them to her? This are some of the questions I need to ask Dr. Davis. I really hope I dont have to ask these questions, but Its on my mind.

So, I need to vent a little, Saturday night I had dinner w/my friends of ours, DH's friend and wife (who has a 3 yr old daugther..naturally) and we got into talkin about homes and I said that we havent really decided what we want because if I cant have children why do we want a big house with so many rooms. She proceeded to say, I dont like that you say that, there are other options and I said yes I know this and went on to say that adoption is not for us, etc. She said to me well you dont want kids that bad then. My mouth was wide open at the judgement I was getting from someone who has had no issues conceiving. I didnt know what to say and I found myself defending myself. I can not beleive what people have to say when they havent gone though it themselves. Its unreal!

 

[whattheiveff]

Wow Oneof. Just wow. Good for you for not throwing a drink in her face (or worse)! I know that the people who say these hurtful things aren't bad people, and more often than not they just don't realize how painful their words are. But at some point, they need to be held accountable! Ugh. I'm sorry you had to deal with that.

That is a lovely offer from your sister, although obviously a bit premature. Hoping you don't need to take her up on it.

On a related note, I've been thinking A LOT about DE, and wondering if I might just do that for my next cycle instead of going through this a 4th time. RBA in Atlanta has a 5 cycle guarantee program that is VERY attractive and their success rates are 65-70%. I'm a crying mess pretty much every day and I just don't want to live like this anymore. Having a baby with my DNA is becoming less important...I just want a baby. My husband really wants to try one more time, but I just don't know if I'm strong enough. Of course, I still suspect there might be a problem with me getting pregnant/carrying a pregnancy so who knows if DE would be a magic bullet.

 

[oneof14]

Whatthe, has Dr. Davis mention DE to you? I truly believe that if you do the co-culture with Cornell you will get better results with your embryos?

I do understand you wanting to be proactive in thinking about all your options. I know the dissapointment of going through the entire IVF cycle (or several) and spending all that moneyand going through all that IVf entails for nothing . These decisions obv. are not easy.

 

[michelle01]

One - Thinking about you and wishing you all the best tomorrow! I am sorry that you had to have someone judge you like that; people who do not go through infertility just don't seem to understand how hard it is and how bad we all want this! FX'ed for a great beta tomorrow

Whatthe - I know a few that are going the DE route, and one who just got amazing betas from it (hockey). I know they started a thread for it too. I hope everything works out for you; going through full cycles is very emotional and wearing on anyone

 

[whattheiveff]

Dr. Davis did not mention DE to me. When I brought it up to him he said he wouldn't recommend it as a next step, but thinks its a good option if my 4th IVF cycle was unsuccessful. I agree with you that the co-culture will probably get us more high quality looking embryos. My fear is that they're chromosomally abnormal, so I could end up doing a fresh transfer and possibly a frozen transfer which is only going to prolong the inevitable. I don't mean to sound overly negative, I'm just trying to be realistic so I can make the best decision for our (small) family.

 

[oneof14]

Thanks Michele, I am praying the 3rd time is a charm like you! People should just shut their mouths to things they know nothing about. I know they dont mean any harm, but why be so judgemental on things you know nothing about. I guess her approach was just wrong!

Whatthe, you are not being negative, you are thinking about all your options and of course want to make the best decision for you and your family. I fear the embryo being chromosonally abnorma as welll, but you are young and something that I wouldnt worry about just yet!

 

[oneof14]

Ladies, I am extremely devastated right now, I just went to the BR and when I wipped there was a brownish spotting, I've lost all hope!

 

[whattheiveff]

Oneof - I know how discouraging that can be, but brown spotting isn't necessarily a bad thing. I'm still hoping for you!

 

[MoBaby]

brown isnt bad always. A lot of ivfers spot! Keep your chin up! Its not over!!

 

[Lucie73821]

Keep the faith one! Brown isn't always bad!

 

[whattheiveff]

Be strong and good luck today Oneof!!

 

[michelle01]

Thinking about you today one! Brown spotting is not a bad thing either; I know it is hard not to read into things, but I am still hopeful for you

 

[MoBaby]

One: thinking of you today!! REALLY fx for you

 

[oneof14]

Got the call!! OMG!!! OMG!!

HCG 209!!!

 

[Lucie73821]

Got the call!! OMG!!! OMG!!

HCG 209!!!

Amazing!!! Massive congrats!!!

 

[whattheiveff]

Congratulations!!! AMAZING news! So, so happy for you and your husband!