Multiple IVF failures...what now?

[septbride]

Hi ladies,

My name is Jessica. I'm just coming off a second IVF failure and thought I'd start a new thread for people who are in the same boat. I'm finding the second failure much harder to handle than the first, and am having a hard time being surrounded by pregnant friends. I thought I'd create a place where we can cheer each other on as we try to face another crack at IVF or start to consider other options.

 

[oneof14]

Hey Sept, thanks for creating this thread, unfortuntely I find myself here as well. I hope you are coping OK. I agree with taking this so much harder this time around. Especially around the holidays.

I have my consult with Dr. Owen Davis from Cornell on 1/10/13, I'm hoping he and Cornell is my saving grace for a successful IVF. My DH and I are not going to adopt as we dont feel that its the right choice for us. So, I am afraid if all options fail, we will be childless, which is a really tough pill to swallow!

Its seems we have an undiagnosied fertility issues, my AMH last January was 1.58 and I tested again this month and its was 0.92, which says normal (but low nomal) I am so scared this may be an issue now. So frustrating and scary. I am 38 and my DH is 35.

 

[septbride]

Hi oneof, good to see you here, although sorry you're going through this. I just booked a consultation with a new doctor as well. We'll go to see our current doctor for a cycle review on Jan 4 and then consult the new doc on Jan 7. I feel a bit better knowing that we'll be able to assess two options and decide what sounds most promising.

It is especially tough around the holidays, isn't it? I hope you're feeling OK and are able to get some well-deserved down time.

 

[septbride]

I hear you on the AMH front -- I have very low AMH, but have been producing a small but decent number of eggs each cycle (got 7 both times). I tend to think it just means they need to give us higher doses of meds to be sure that we respond. I wouldn't let it worry you too much.

 

[Nayla82]

Sorry to hear about your 2nd failed cycle, the pain definitely does get worse as when my first failed i was like ok definitely number 2

After my 3rd Failed IVF last Christmas imagine the 24th December! That really did push me over the edge and I had to see a therapist it was so bad!

Anyways we said 2011 would be the year of fun, of course as expected nothing at all happened naturally Hopefully in the new year we will see another doctor and get guidance. Having 3 failed at the same clinic we definitely need new eyes. I saw a doctor last week that suggested ZIFT (Placing the eggs in my tubes through my stomach that is NOT for me) we will get there its just how much fight we have in us to keep going?? i am exhausted to the bones, but i will do my very best to get that BFP

I wish you all the best for 2013 and we need to keeping on going.. also i AVOID all baby showers or seeing friends that just gave birth, i just cant do it no more..

 

[septbride]

Hi Nayla, I'm so sorry to hear that you're going through this as well. I can't imagine getting the results of a failed cycle on Christmas Eve. That is so hard. I just got mine on December 12 and that is close enough to the holidays! I have been seeing a therapist throughout this process..it is helping somewhat.

Do you think you'll switch doctors for your 4th go? What is your diagnosis?

Hang in there, love.

 

[oneof14]

I did have my 2nd WTF follow-up appt with my RE and he basically said he really doesnt know why I am not successful, sometimes persistants is everything (I told him well my funds are not endless) and he totally understands why I would want a 2nd opinion. I wanted him to test me for immune issues but he still doesnt think its necessary and sometimes inconclusive.

I am feeling good some days, awful others. I also feel sometimes inadequent for a woman and Why the F I cant get pregnant.

We will get through this Sept. just more hudles then others. I am trying to enjoy my holiday with my DH and family as hard as it is. 2013 will be our year!!

 

[oneof14]

Nayla, I am so sorry you are in this situation. I've decided that after 2 failed IVF's with the same clinic, its time to move on. I dont know how much fight we have left either, it really is exhausting and as many times you say we are taking time off to have fun, you are ALWAYS thinking when you are ovulating etc.

I got my BFN on December 3rd, its close enough to the holidays for me as well. I feel like I have to alter what I imagined what my life would be if I can cant have children, its all I've ever wanted ever since I can remember.

I pray that 2013 is the best year for us all.

 

[septbride]

Oneof, I would like my doctor to test for immune issues as well. I'm also hoping they recommend an endometrial biopsy to rule out implantation problems. And then I guess the other option is to do genetic testing on the embryos. Is your clinic recommending a biopsy?

And yes, I totally hear you on feeling inadequate. It's the most basic thing in the world, or so I thought. Other people do it at the drop of a hat. It really does a number on your self-esteem.

 

[whattheiveff]

Hello fellow Warrior Women! I too have the lovely experience of failed IVFs. After my second failure in November, I had my WTF with my doctor, then got a second opinion where the new doctor basically gave me a different diagnosis and said I've been on the wrong protocols. So that was nice and confusing. In the end, I've decided to give my old doctor one more crack at it, and will begin the Patch protocol in January. My reason for staying is that each cycle they've changed things up, which makes me believe they're learning more about me each time and tweaking the protocol accordingly. The new challenge is to get more mature eggs because for IVF #2 I got 10 eggs, but only 4 were mature. For this 3rd cycle they're giving me an extra hour before retrieval and possibly a double dose of HCG. They're also doing an endo biopsy to check for implantation issues, and I've insisted on PIO instead of Crinone for progesterone support. My doctor says its just a matter of getting the right recipe and they just haven't found it yet. If they weren't suggesting changing things up, I wouldn't have stayed with them.

Anyway, enough about me! Failed IVFs are just a shit time for all involved and I hope we can help each other find some hope and positivity as we re-group for our next cycles. Has anyone done any sort of Mind Body program? I've heard they're good but seem like a really big commitment...usually 2 hours once a week for 10 weeks. Sheesh!

 

[oneof14]

Oneof, I would like my doctor to test for immune issues as well. I'm also hoping they recommend an endometrial biopsy to rule out implantation problems. And then I guess the other option is to do genetic testing on the embryos. Is your clinic recommending a biopsy?

And yes, I totally hear you on feeling inadequate. It's the most basic thing in the world, or so I thought. Other people do it at the drop of a hat. It really does a number on your self-esteem.

I asked my clinic to give me a biopsy, which he did prior to my 2nd IVF, he didnt think it was necessary but did it at my request. That obviously didnt work for me. My dr did say I may benefit from PGD.

 

[septbride]

Oneof, I'm definitely going to ask about PGD in Jan as well.

Whatthe, good to see you over here! I've been considering a mind body program as well. It does seem like a big time and money commitment, but I feel like I do need extra support for the next cycle. Everyone raves about the Domar Center.

 

[whattheiveff]

Sept - I've heard the same thing about the Domar Center! We could do it together...haha! I think the program starts January 13. I don't know if any of you ladies follow IF blogs, but a few of them started a podcast called Bitter Infertiles...its pretty great. Anyway, they had a therapist on this week that talked about how important the mind/body connection was for IVF success.

https://bitterinfertiles.wordpress.com/

Is PGD where they send a couple of embryos off to be tested to find out if they're chromosomally normal?

Oneof- I hear you on the self-esteem portion....it literally blows my mind that people can get pregnant so easily and makes me feel like such a failure.

 

[oneof14]

Whatthe, It does blow my mind! What is the mind/body program? I've been doing acupunture for 1 year, apparently that hasnt helped either.

 

[whattheiveff]

Ha! I've been doing acupuncture too...I love it, but its so hard to justify the cost when you can't see visible results. All I know is I'm still not pregnant! I don't think I can give a good explanation of what a Mind Body program is, so I'll just refer you to this link....
https://www.domarcenter.com/services/programs/events.html

 

[oneof14]

Agreed, I keep telling myself it will work and nada! Thank you for the link, I will definitely check it out!

 

[L4hope]

Hi ladies,
So sorry we have to meet again under such shitty circumstances. I just got my failed beta news today. I had started spotting so was anticipating it. I could barely stop crying yesterday to get through my day seeing students. I just can't understand why my body won't cooperate. My first fresh and frozen cycles I had crappy quality blasts. This second fresh cycle I had more immature eggs at retrieval, but the ones I did have became good quality blasts. Of course this made me feel extremely hopeful for this cycle, so given the time of year on top of it in just feeling completely crushed and defeated. I thought I'd be doing a second opinion if this cycle failed, but since I had better blast quality I'm not sure i shouldn't give them another try. I will definitely be doing a FET in Feb. I have my WTF next wednesday so will bring up endo biopsy. I just cant believe I'm stuck here again. I'm with you Oneof, we will not be adopting and I can't bare the thought of not having a family. Yet the emotional and financial stress is taking a toll on us. I sometimes don't feel like me anymore.. Ugh..sorry for the rambling!
Glad you started the thread Sept!

 

[septbride]

Oh shit, L4. I'm so sorry to hear your news. You're not rambling at all, and every one of us understands every single word you're saying. It is all just bloody exhausting. How many blasts do you have for your FET? I have heard that the success rates are very good for those cycles.

Whatthe, I would totally do the Domar Center but it's sooo far from where I work and live. I might look into the support group that the Brigham holds on Thursdays, though, if you're interested! Oh and thanks for the link on Bitter Infertiles. Some humor is MUCH needed. Re: PGD, I don't know much about it yet, but I believe they do test for chromosomal abnormalities.

Oneof, I hear you on the self-esteem front too. This is supposed to be Human Body 101.

Re: Acupuncture, I've been doing it weekly for 6 months now. It's helping with stress, but clearly not with pregnancy...

 

[whattheiveff]

Sept - Dr. Fox actually recommended the Mass General Mind Body program, but I'm not doing it because it doesn't start until Feb. 28. That said, it might be a good option for you if you're waiting a bit before #3 and its closer to where you work/live.

L4 - I'm so, so sorry. I know there is nothing we can say to make you feel better, but I hope you can take comfort in knowing you're not alone. Be good to yourself these next few days/weeks.

 

[L4hope]

Thanks Sept! I have three blasts frozen and a possible fourth if it progressed enough but they still haven't told me. I'm hoping the FET will do the trick. The last one I had was so pathetic I'm not even sure why we did it. I had two early blasts that were low quality. One didn't survive the thaw and the one that did was so bad they gave me less than 10% chance. That sure made we want to go through two weeks of pio shots twice a day! NOT!! But maybe with better blasts I'll have a good shot. Although that's what I thought with this cycle. Honestly, who thought IVF would be this difficult?? Once we decided to take the IVF leap I thought this is it we're gonna be pregnant.

Yeah self-esteem what's that? As a woman this is what we're made to do. Feel completely broken. Not to mention not being able to work out half the time and feeling bloated/hormonal. So I feel disgusting too!

As for acupuncture, I've thought about it bit that's as far as ive gotten. With all the medical expense I haven't been able to bring myself to spend that much on accu. I've been doing some yoga to help with stress.

I wish I could join you ladies in a support group. It would be nice to have someone who gets it to sit face to face and vent about all this. There is some support group around here I guess I should check into it.