I think it's safe to say that babies change relationships. Heart, Hubs and I have some similar struggles, because I am with Levi all the time, I feel like I do know more what he needs when. I try not to micro manage and let them have their time, but it's hard for me to give him freedom when the baby is crying. One example is that Jeremy usually does bathtime and he is great at it, but I think baby gets too cold if he washes his hair when he is in the tub. (I have a kid with a headful of curly hair! so it takes a while to wash and rinse it!) Levi loves the bath so I hate when he cries at the end because he is getting cold. When I watched the nurse at hospital wash his hair, she had him wrapped in the towel and held his head over the water to wash his hair, this kept him warm and stops the water and bubbles getting in his face. If I bathe him I get him out and snuggled in the towel while he is still enjoying the bath and then wash his hair over the tub. He smiles and giggles and it's precious. I tried to explain this to Jeremy but "it's quicker" to do it the way he has been doing it. So he doesn't want to change. I hate to hear Levi crying, even if its only for a couple of minutes, when I know that it doesn't have to be that way. Last night I went in and took him out the bath and washed his hair because I wanted to she Jeremy what I meant, and how sweet it was to see Levi so content - I think he like the warm water on his hair when hes feeling warm. but my lovely hubby has a hard time really listening or 'seeing' when he thinks he's right!
It's a little example, but there are many that make it essential for Jeremy and I to communicate more when the baby is not around. One book I am reading - Pups, and Hopeful I recommend it- is called 'The wonder of Boys' and its all about the ways boys learn and develop and how they need to be parented differently than girls. Super interesting, but one chapter is about taking time to consider explore what your values are as a family so you can be intentional to instill those values in your boys (children). Jeremy and I decided that we need to do this for Levi, and any other kids we welcome into our family, but I also think it will be good for us to remember that sometimes our actions come from a value that we don't have in common.
The bath thing is important to Jeremy because he likes to have time with Levi and its hard for him to play with him in the bath in the way I do so he wants it over quickly to have good play time together once he is home from work. I feel its important for Levi to love the water and enjoy bathtime because I have such fond memories of playing in the water, and learning to swim etc. My dad hates the water and I want to make sure that Levi grows up exposed and enjoying it. Once we understand the others perspective, its easier not to judge them. Easier, but not easy. I still think I am right, but I have to remember that Levi isn't just my baby.
Ok, that's a lot.
Pups - It must be tough to see G not paying Samuel as much attention as you want. I know that you are also dealing with extreme sleep deprivation with Samuel struggling at night. Know that I am praying for you and your family. I hope that your boy gives you some sweet smiles and some good naps to make the world feel like a birghter place!
So fun to hear from you Fili and Mrskg! Can't wait for you to be in here with your little ones. Not long now
Levi has been having a ROUGH time with gas recently. We have been using this tube thing called the Windi (I might have already mentioned this, my brain is mush) It is amazing! It releases his gas and helps him poop, but last night he pretty much slept all the way through. I fed him when we got him up at 3am but he hardly took any and was pretty much asleep the whole time he was just so restless and fussy. Poor baby. I have been looking up baby massage techniques and I am going to try and do it every diaper change to release the gas through the day and see if it helps it not build up to be so bad at night.
I did the massage with his diaper change just now and get some good toots and he is now sleeping peacefully in the swing. You may have guessed because I am having time to actually write something!
Hello to all the other ladies I have missed, know I have been reading but its not always possible to respond. I haven't mastered the one handed typing like Puips!
Do you ladies find that your babies get overstimulated if you try and do too much in a day? We went to MOPS in the morning yesterday and then straight out to lunch with Jeremy's parents and sister and by the time we were in the car coming home Levi was inconsolable. He had eaten and slept on and off all morning but didn't get his long 2.5 or 3 hour nap at all- he usually has a couple of them.
I have decided that we are going to just do one thing a day now. If he misses one long nap in exchange for cat naps but it seems if we miss both its bad news bears. I really hoped my baby would sleep anywhere but although he can nap he doesn't sleep hard unless we are home. Have you had to change your schedules to make sure they nap?
Just curious. Right now, he naps in the swing, but I know I need to make him nap in his crib soon so he isn't reliant on the motion to stay sleeping. Any tips from Mummies who have transitioned babies to sleep in cribs?
Heart - I also wanted to thank you for the pumping tips, I am also going to a breast feeding support group once a week and I am so happy to say that my first pumping of the day got almost 4oz, and I just got another ounce just now! I have even got one bag in the freezer!!! So happy!
This was a very jumbled post. Thank you for grace when you read it. I know you all understand! haha!
Love having you ladies to talk to and hear how its all going!
everyone
It's going to be amazing with two of them!
Once you go back to work Im sure your DH will step up more with the baby duties. Tim only had a week off when Penny was born so it was mostly up to me during the day and of course I was BFing at the time so feedings were on me as well but Tim helped me where ever he was able. I love my little threesome and feel like Tim and I have an even better relationship because of Penny. We are more of a team than we ever have been before. The only thing that is harder is trying to find time to be intimate. We work around the baby but it definitely is not as much as before Penny entered our lives. We both miss is but with time everything gets better.
