Mums/Moms after Recurrent Losses (MARL) - Come join us!

[jenny25]

hi girls sorry not been about i will catch up properly soon i was admitted back into hospital was running a fever of 102 turnsout i have a staph infection and celulitus im doing ok just got to take it easy xxx

 

[hopeful23456]

hope you feel better soon jen!

 

[petitpas]

Get well soon, Jen!

Croy, what a nice post. I try to do just one thing a day with J, too. Purely because of the organisation that is required to undertake two things. I sometimes hang a coffee after a class but that's it.

I find that J happily sleeps while out and about but less so when confronted with visitors who are very focussed on him.

 

[croydongirl]

Oh, Jen poor thing. Glad you are feeling better. Hope you can get some rest, I know that's hard to do when you have a little one.
How did your Dr. appointment/test go the other week?

pip - Yes, visitors are great and we have been so blessed by people bringing meals over to the house, but its tough when they want to stay for a while. I like the company but Levi will not sleep when he thinks he is missing out on something! haha!

Just got back from our breast feeding support group. Turns out Levi took 3.4oz for that feed, not bad but from last week he only gained 3oz which is on the low end of weight gain. Of course now I am in a panic that he isn't gaining enough. The lactation consultant was so great and the other mums there are great too. I think he has had an upset stomach and the terrible gas so I am not sure if that had anything to do with the lack of weight gain. She said that gas can be worse if you are feeding here and there and not making him do a full feed so I am trying to be stricter with his schedule! I might have to wake him from naps so that he is feeding every 3-3.5 hours. Never thought I would be waking my sleeping babe but I want to know I am doing all I can to feed him well. I have been kind of lazy about making sure he's feeding on any kind of schedule but I guess I need to.

 

[petitpas]

Croy, I don't think you ought to worry. You really can't look at weight gain from one week to the next at this point. What if he was holding his poo in last week and has been busy with a developmental leap (causes fussy eating)? Please try not to worry if generally he is doing well. Levi knows when he needs to feed much better than a strict schedule. I'd be tempted to let him sleep if he needs it. Gives you more time to get things done/take a nap
I understand that many mums prefer a schedule, I just don't like to see you worry about something that isn't necessarily a problem

 

[jenny25]

Everything went fine it wasn't a cancerous lump it turned out to be a fibroadanoma xxx

 

[hopeful23456]

Glad it's ok Jenny!

Croy- loved the post and I'm going to get that book, also getting the book 12 hours in 12 weeks (sleep book). Anyone read it?

How do you give the bath? I use the fisher price rainforest tub but I wish there was something that was more comfy and stayed warm as the sling gets cold.
Will Write more later...

 

[heart tree]

I started a nice long post on my phone but then had to put it down a few days ago. Now I'm on my computer. Let's see if I can eek out a reply before my baby wakes up.

Jen, I'm so happy to hear everything is ok. You've been through it recently. Thank god you have your sweet baby!

Amber, sounds like you had a good trip. It's so sweet that Tim thanked you. Our men really need a dose of what it takes to be a mom! Did I see you with a glass of champagne on your trip in a FB photo? Good for you!

Croy and Sarah, thanks for your examples of your husbands. I agree that we all have ways of doing things. What I've learned is to let Tim do it his way and watch as he struggles with her. Then I do it my way and he sees how much better it is. I don't always win, but I try! It's hard though. I hate seeing her in any discomfort. At the same time, I need to let other people care for her. It will all be worth it when our kids come to us for comfort over anyone else.

Puppy, you've had it hard with your husband. I read your birth story a while back in your journal and was saddened to read how far removed he was from the process. Sorry I don't have time for journals anymore, but I know you've struggled with him. I would be pissed too.

I love seeing all the Mums to be! Can't wait for you all to graduate!

Croy, I echo what Pip said about weight gain. If he pooped before he was weighed, he will weigh less. You just want to make sure he is putting on weight. I'm not sure why we have been told to look for a weight gain of an ounce a day. Babies are human. Some days they'll be hungrier than others.

How do you ladies have any time to read? I have a few baby books but NEVER read them. I feel like I'm flying by the seat of my pants with this whole parenting thing.

I've been struggling with my DH as well. Some days he is fantastic and helps a lot. Others he does his own thing and leaves the care to me. I'm not talking about the days when he is at work. I'm talking about his free time. I've tried asking and telling him what I need. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn't. Jodi, I don't think he's afraid of caring for her. He's very much in love with her and hands on when he wants to be. He sends me off to the gym and cares for her while I'm gone which is awesome. I think his issue is that he has ADD. Part of ADD is a hypersensitivity to stimulus. So when she cries uncontrollably or if she cries for a long period of time, he can't handle it. He starts to lose his patience and gets visibly upset and on the verge of yelling at her. I take her from him at those times as I don't believe she should be disciplined for crying. I don't think he believes that either, but he just can't help himself. It means I do a lot more of the work. Like the bedtime routine. I think that she can sense his frustration which makes her cry harder and longer. She usually stops when I take her (which I secretly love).

Thanks for being honest about your husbands. It's good to know I'm not the only one feeling a disconnect. I really miss our old relationship. I hope we can get back on track. I feel like we can. My guess is that part of it is that he's been sleeping on the couch since she came home. Once we can get her out of our room I think he and I will feel more like a team.

I use the same tub. But it was a hand-me-down and the sling slumps down into the water a lot. I have to keep pushing her up.

I was so sleep deprived yesterday that I decided to forgo pumping and BFing for two sessions. We fed her a bottle at 5:30pm and then woke her at 10:30 for another bottle. She woke up at 4am for a nursing session and then slept again until 7. I slept for at least 8 hours. Holy crap that felt good. I wish every night could be like that. Sadly, my supply would plummet. Normally we don't wake her to feed, but we wanted to assure she was nice and full so she would sleep. Did she ever! She basically slept from 7:30 - 4am with just one dream bottle feed at 10:30. I seriously don't know what I would do without that swing.

 

[croydongirl]

Amanda- I agree, once Levi is out of our room at night I think it will really help things. We seriously have not had a real conversation in weeks, the baby is always with us and I feel like all we do is talk about him. Not that it's not fun to gush over him, but it will be nice to talk about other things again.
Does Delilah sleep in the swing at night? Also, I try and read in the day during his nap while I eat lunch. More often than not, I catch up on a TV show on the DVR instead, but that's when I read. One of the books I got does a week by week development and information chapter so they are a quick read and I try to read that to have an idea for things Levi could be starting to do, it also has ideas for activities to do with the baby too. Just a couple and nothing crazy but its one less thing that I have to think about. Although I confess, I am not even making time for tummy time every day, bad mummy!

Funny story. The other day I brought down a pair of tweezers to try and tame my eyebrows, and I lost them. I looked everywhere, and I knew I hadn't left the room so I was so confused. Then tonight, I was munching on some tortilla chips and put my hand in the bag for another chip when i hit something cold...the tweezers. I kid you not! I have no idea how they got in there but it was so funny! Look out eyebrows!!

 

[heart tree]

Yes she sleeps in her swing. I haven't had success in the cosleeper due to her reflux, even when elevating the head side. I'm scared she's only going to be able to sleep in something that moves. I don't know how I'm going to transition her. But for now I don't care. The girl sleeps like a champ in it. She is still refluxy in it, but sleeps through it.

That is hilarious about your tweezers! What a mommy brain moment! Hey I wanted to ask you about your accent. From the YouTube videos of Levi, I don't detect a British accent. Just curious.

A bunch of friends rented a house on the Russian river this weekend. Two of my friends had baby girls in January and March. I was so upset when they both were pregnant. I can't believe I have my own girl now! We're just going up for the day tomorrow. It will be fun to have all of the babies together. God knows I couldn't do an overnight there as the swing is too big to bring! LOL!

 

[filipenko32]

Heart I can't imagine my husband having a great deal of patience with crying either and he doesn't have a condition which would affect it. He is very 'selfish' for want of a better word in that he does what he wants when he wants and I can imagine him having a very low tolerance for a crying baby after a while, but we will see. I sometimes wonder (and this may be a very controversial thing to say) if men are naturally cut out for baby-caring. I think they may be much more patient and hands on when the child can talk! I can imagine my hubs loving the peace of getting out of the way for a while and I can also imagine him having a few excessive nights out too (but not as excessive as your Dh's last escapade or he will be hung drawn and quartered lol!) you know just to prove to himself that he's not tied down!! LOL! I think that mainly men are far more immature than women when it comes to a baby being suddenly on the scene - apologies to those on here with hubs who have proved to be amazing - this is just my general opinion about it atm - I hope he proves me wrong though and maybe I should raise my own expectations a little! Don't get me wrong my hubs will be a caring, great dad in general I just think there will be lots of times when he won't cope as well as me and won't cope with interruptions in his schedule, for example he is not too enthusiastic about giving up his 4/5 sessions a week football, either playing it, training for it or watching his team!!!! He thinks he can take baby with him in the cold of January to watch a football match with loads of crowds for 90 minutes!! HAHAHAHAHA over my dead body. See what I mean? Unrealistic, unprepared, immature, impatient and no real idea how his life will change. I've got his number though!

Oh and as for the disconnect I am sensing that will come for us too. For a minor example atm I fall asleep so so early on the sofa and he gets sad and feels lonely because I'm not spending the evening 'with' him iykwim? That makes me feel guilty but not so guilty I don't carry on snoring I'd rather hear something like: Oh I'll get you a pillow, it must be so tiring being pregnant ..." But no. And I strongly think this is going to get a lot worse!!

NB Just told my hubs what I wrote here and he said: 'Oh yeah we will just close the door when the baby cries or turn the TV up!' Now what's that expression: Never a truer word spoken in jest. I rest my case.

 

[cazi77]

Going to have a good read back over the last few pages but very excited to be joining you here!
Just want to introduce myself I'm Cazi and had 4 m/c's in a 13 month period from dec 2010 before being diagnosed with APS. My yellow bump turned pink on thursday 4th october - Freya Emily arrived weighing 6lb 3oz! Struggling with breast feeding but my milk has come in this morning and her latch is much better! Going home today and I am super excited!

 

[puppycat]

Awwwww Cazi she's a cutie

 

[petitpas]

Congratulations, cazi, she's a total cutie!

 

[croydongirl]

Hi Cazi and congrats on your little lady, what a sweetheart!

I just wanted to say that breastfeeding in those early weeks can be tough. It can hurt and it can br frustrating and exhausting but I promise it gets easier! At 3 weeks I was so sore, and called in a lactation consultant to help which she did and once we adjusted his latch and time passed bfeeding is so enjoyable. I have been going to a breastfeeding support group, a drop in with a minimal fee that meets at the local hospital. The lady there weighs the baby before the feed, is on hand to check latch and give advice and then weighs him after feed to calculate how much he has taken. Being in a room with other new mums all feeding our babies, all at different stages sharing life and advice has been wonderful. If you have something like that I would suggest finding it, I wish I had found it sooner.

Levi is 8 weeks now and feeds well. When he can stay awake that is! ha ha

Ok, off to pump and take a nap. My usually fairly good sleeper has been on sleep strike the past two nights, has had a hard time getting to sleep - read, hours of us bouncing and shushing and burping and rocking only to have him wake up the second we lay him down - then he has only been sleeping for 3 hours max, for one stretch and then one or two hour stretches the rest of the night. He's hardly even awake when he fusses and grunts himself awake and he will feed for maybe 3 minutes if I get him up.
I'm glad that his 2 month check is this week so I can ask the pediatrician all about it and if I need to be concerned about his eating.

Happy Sunday Ladies!

 

[heart tree]

Welcome Cazi! So great you are here. I'm glad to hear your milk came in. Try to be patient and loving with yourself if you find BFing a struggle. It's incredibly hard work to establish. The best kept secret I think! No one ever told me how hard it would be.

Fili, I think Tim had similar expectations with a baby. He thought he could take the baby to his music studio, sit her in a bouncy chair and he could play music while watching her. He knew she would cry, but I don't think he realized how much. Neither of us were prepared for her reflux which has made it even more challenging, even for me. But as the days, weeks and months pass, she gets easier and we are all getting more used to our routine.

Since Tim's escapade out on the town, he has been very helpful with the baby. Things have gotten infinitely better all of a sudden. We'll see how long it lasts!

Croy, are you sure Levi has gas issues? Whenever I hear about grunting, I think of reflux. Delilah has silent reflux in that she doesn't spit up a lot. But when she is on her back for a while she will start grunting a lot. Just something to consider. Good luck at the pedi appointment.

 

[daviess3]

Hi ladies took ages to catch up lol!!!!
Amanda I like u read half wrote down get to tired an don't get there!! Lol well this week has been fab lexi is sleeping 11pm until 7am an has done for 6 nights in a row!!! Yep happy mummy, however I wake up between 4-5am as I wait for screaming, but so far she's been an angel bless her, an ladies this is since she's been in her cot in her room!!! I had to do it, since birth she's been in my bed, she didn't like the crib or Moses as she couldn't stretch out she is much better since being in cot.
I miss her terribly but I have a monitor an I hear every breath! X

Heart look at Graco contour Electra travel cot it has a vibrating mattress, d may find this soothing when you start the transition to get her to Sleeo in cot? X

Well lexis colic has eased she has a witchy time 9-1030pm then has a sleep until 11pm then bottle bed, I still have her downstairs until I come up to bed then she does. What does everyone else do? Do you leave lil ones upstairs in bedroom etc?

Another question is when did af show her face? I'm 9 weeks past birth Tom an no af keep thinking on its way but sorry for Tmi, but I had lots of white cm! Not thick but just discharge!

Jen Pleassd ur ok, how r u now? X

 

[heart tree]

No AF for me and I'm 15 weeks past birth. No discharge or anything. But I'm BFing and it could take a while. You will probably get yours much sooner than me.

Right now we do a bottle at 7, get her in the swing by 8 and she sleeps for 5-6 hours. Then I BF her and she sleeps in the swing or with me for another few hours. The other night, we fed her at 5:30 and she fell asleep for a while. We woke her at 10:30 to feed her and then she slept until 6! It felt amazing. We've done that twice now and it works like a charm. However, I'm generally not wanting to wake her up to feed her. It was an act of desperation as I was so sleep deprived. Her swing is in our bedroom. Our house is only one level and it is small. But we keep a monitor on her and close the door.

She doesn't really have a witching hour anymore. She's a really smiley and content baby for the most part. I think that just comes with age. They grow out of the witching hour.

That cot is only sold in the UK Davies! But I'll try finding something in the US. Thanks for the tip!

 

[croydongirl]

We usually take Levi to bed with us, he naps in the evening but I guess if we put his jammies on earlier we could call it bedtime then! He is such an alert kid, he has a hard time falling asleep. I was so hopeful when he had some longer stretches but the last 2 nights have been ROUGH. We usually just take him to bed when we go and put him down then.

We are not on any sort of real schedule yet. It's hard when our activities in the day are unpredictable. If we are home he will take 2.5 or 3 hour naps but if we are out he will cat nap for 20mins, 30 maybe. And he wants to eat when he wakes up no matter how long its been. He has a hard time staying awake to nurse when he is only cat napping, so he eats for maybe 5minutes but after a long nap when he wakes he will eat for 20-30 mins no problem. All that to say, no routine. No schedule. I want one desperately because I am a type A personality but we are off to Florida for a few days in a couple of weeks and then to England for 2.5 weeks after that so I think we will wait until we are home to try and establish any sort of routine. Also, then we can try starting more sleep training if he isn't doing better. I guess by 3 or 4 months they have a big enough understanding of life that you can let them cry for a while as you teach them to sleep. Not excited about that, but am excited to sleep more myself! haha

Amanda - we have just filled a prescription for reflux that we got a while back but never filled because hubs was convinced he didn't have it. Last night I was so tired I told him we had to try it because I wasn't convinced that wasn't it. In the day he's fine and in the swing he's fine but in the crib he has a hard time, I wonder if it is reflux. I guess we'll see if the medication helps. Does it get worse at night?

Davies - 8 weeks out and no aunt flo me. I had some cramping and ewcm a while ago and I was convinced I was ovulating but nothing so far. I wouldn't mind if she stayed away for a while, I have enough on my plate! ha ha!

 

[heart tree]

We are not on any sort of real schedule yet. It's hard when our activities in the day are unpredictable. If we are home he will take 2.5 or 3 hour naps but if we are out he will cat nap for 20mins, 30 maybe. And he wants to eat when he wakes up no matter how long its been. He has a hard time staying awake to nurse when he is only cat napping, so he eats for maybe 5minutes but after a long nap when he wakes he will eat for 20-30 mins no problem.

Same here Croy! And she ALWAYS wants to eat the second she wakes up! It's hard when I take her on a walk and she wakes up when we get home. Sometimes the walk was only 20 minutes and I just fed her 30 minutes ago!

Yes, the reflux gets much worse at night for some reason. I barely notice it in the day anymore, of course we have her on heavy meds. She doesn't grunt much anymore, but she wheezes a lot. I know one of the side effects from the meds she takes causes congestion. I just bought a humidifier and am trying it for the first time tonight. We are also going to try putting her in the co-sleeper tonight with the head side elevated quite a bit. I'm nervous. I know we need to get her out of the swing eventually, but man, I love that I'm able to sleep more. If she wakes easily in the co-sleeper, I'm putting her back in the swing.

What med did you get? Zantac? It worked for us for a few weeks, but then stopped working. What other symptoms have you noticed if any?